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The CSA - a biased and unfair system

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It took the CSA nearly twelve years to finally persuade my ex-partner to pay any kind of maintenance towards our children, but this gripe isn't about maintenance or payments.  It's about how biased and unfair the system is.

Two weeks ago I grounded my youngest daughter (now aged 14) for not completing her homework assignments and disrespecting her teachers.  She contacted my ex-partner who basically told our daughter that she was right to disrespect her teachers because they are all useless idiots (the actual choice of words used were more abusive), and that I am an "authoritarian interfering prat that doesn't understand teenagers."  My daughter was also told that she should come and live with them at their house where she could have a new mobile phone.  She could use the Internet as long as she likes and other treats such as going to the cinema regularly and lots of new clothes etc.

Leaving home, carrying a suitcase Well it should come as no surprise that after a vicious tantrum and an argument, my daughter ran away to live at my ex-partner's house. How could she resist that kind of bribery?  However not long after she left I received a letter from the CSA saying that as far as the CSA are concerned my daughter now lives with my ex-partner.  The notification date was within 12 hours after my daughter going to live there!

I have a full (not shared) residence order and this was granted only after the very careful consideration from the welfare, health services and courts etc.  I was assessed questioned and visited at home before the decision was made.  This was by no means a quick process.

My ex simply made a phone call to the CSA...

Could the disparity in service and biased interpretation of the rules be because I am a MALE single parent?

By: St Jude


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Box

Box

Sounds a bit strange to me this...

I know from experience (from both perspectives) that the CSA can only make a claim for child support after the date that child benefit is awarded/received by the resident partner. So even if a child does up sticks and move out, the new parent has to jump through all the hoops and get child benefit sorted first - which can and should be contested if you're the residential parent by court order. You're also legally allowed to involve the police to return your daughter home and enforce the court order. Your ex-partner will be forced down the legal route to contest this.
22/10/12 Box
-5
Anonymous

Anonymous

I have lovely daughter of 9 who I see every Wednesday and Friday until Saturday night.
The problem I have is with the CSA I have no problem in paying for my daughter at all it's the manner in which the CSA work.

I split up with my ex wife two years ago I asked her how much she wanted for the upkeep of our daughter ,her response was £300 pound a month so I paid this into her bank account every month on a set date for 8 months only to receive a letter from the csa saying I need to start paying for my daughters upbringing? So I rang them and explained the arrangement in place , I was shocked when they refused to believe what I had previously agreed with my ex even though I had bank statements text messages from her stating all the information above .basically I felt like a criminal and I had to pay £1500 pound in arrears even though she had already received £2100 from me in child maintenance.

I feel like the CSA treat fathers like scum second class citizens and believe everything the mother says and something needs to be done to stop this I am sure I am not alone when I say this!
10/10/12 Anonymous
-5
dismayed mother

dismayed mother

I have 3 children and had sole residency for them. I splt from my ex-husband when the youngest was 8 months. Because my ex was on every benefit imagnable disability etc. on an higher amount of income than I had for working full time. , he was not eligible to pay anything and has not contributed in any way for the last 24 years. 18 months ago when my son was 14 he went to live with him for 18 months. I had still got a 16 year old daughter at full time college living at home. So I thought one each no csa would be payable either way. How wrong. I was penalised and had to pay full CSA to him for one child,, and a massive backlog. whilst still supporting my other child totally at college. He had to pay £5 and I have received nothing of this. My son returned to me leaving me these CSA payments have left me with financial problems up until this day. How unfair is this system.?????
11/03/11 dismayed mother
-3
gazz

gazz

yes I think it is a very biased and infair system I have been married twice and my eldest son lived with me from when he was 18months until I remarried 7 yrs later,my 14 yr ol d lives with me although my 12 yr old lives with his mother he also would like to live with me but she just turns round and says no your not living with your dad so the fight is on
27/02/11 gazz
-1
Rippedoffdad

Rippedoffdad

Upset! Go to your M.P. and ask them to contact CSA on your behalf. The system is there for both parents. If you are the parent with care then the absent parent should financially support their child irregardless of their circumstances.

Some people on here talk of feckless fathers. There are feckless mothers as well. I was married to one, and she abandoned our child for me to raise on my own, without any financial support. It was only by embarassing my M.P., that I got maintenance!
09/02/11 Rippedoffdad
7
upset

upset

csa do not believe in fathers! my son has custody of his daughter who has lived with him happily for seven years now!! when my son tried to get maintenance from the mother after he got custody through the courts, he was told by the csa it was unusual for the father to have their children!! in all the seven years the mother has paid nothing!!!
08/02/11 upset
-3
Gainsborough lad.

Gainsborough lad.

Angry, on what you have said, go to the CSA, he is an adulterer with children who should be brought to book.
24/02/10 Gainsborough lad.
-4
I am not paying up for these p

I am not paying up for these p

That's the trouble with these "kept" women, like "Angry" They just won't get off their asses and go to work to pay the mortgage themselves. It's little wonder he might desert you.

Gosh what a strain it must have been to have "planned" children. What a stigma a child must face in this brave new world of yours of being "unplanned" and "unloved" as a consequence.

I don't want to have to pay for yours or your husband's promiscuity, planned or otherwise. You both should have been sterilised, after two.
24/02/10 I am not paying up for these p
-1
Angry

Angry

My soon to be ex-husband had secretly fathered a child 10 years ago (This was during our marriage) The ex-girlfriend/mistress now gets a substantial amount from his salary every month.(15%) I am angered because I have only just found out about this affair/child and the payments. I have asked my husband to leave as the trust has gone. Now because he has moved elsewhere leaving me as the main carer of our 4 planned children, the CSA are increasing the'Mistresses' payments to 25%!! How can this be fair when he is now paying our mortgage on our 'Married' home as well as funding a small property so that our children can visit?? I would welcome any advice.

Desperate.
24/02/10 Angry
-8
kiyroi

kiyroi

Im sorry, I must be stupid, or neglecting to understand something, but why should you need CSA???? Do you really need that money from your partner, or could you just get a job like most people??? or maybe 2 or 3 jobs, I work 2 jobs and own my own buisness, yet I still find time and money for my family. You'll probably say 'i dont have time and I have kids to look after' but thats just a load of phooey, its simply people being lazy and not working hard for what they want. if life knocks you down, youve gotta brush it off, shut up and carry on, just like all the little boys who fell over had to do
24/07/09 kiyroi
-6
LINZ

LINZ

I am very sorry to hear that. Men OR women who are unfit parents annoy me no end...

My ex abandoned my disabled baby cos she was "too much "hastle""

But they wont want a single penny from HIM.... God forbid they would actually chase someone who does NOTHING for a sick baby even though I am her sole carer...

I think every teenager goes through the whole spoilt brat stage as I know I did and she will apprecaite you later on in life...
12/01/09 LINZ
6
REAL L IFE

REAL L IFE

I agree with you LEWIS, it costs £2 pounds to reclaim £1 pound or something so may as well scrap the whole thing. It should of been all about the child/ren but instead its just the Government trying to screw everyone out of money.
02/07/08 REAL L IFE
-3
LEWIS

LEWIS

I think the thiefing CSA should stay out of it and leave it to the parents to sort out. Government debt should be obtained from other sources.
09/06/08 LEWIS
-12
heatedblanket

heatedblanket

"sympathetic" get over yourself you idiot, tell this fella to grow up, the world isnt always fair and he should deal with it! rather than blame an agency for his shortcomings!
29/05/08 heatedblanket
-9
jhrv

jhrv

Does anybody understand why? They're your kids don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
18/04/08 jhrv
-9

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