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It took the CSA nearly twelve years to finally persuade my ex-partner to pay any kind of maintenance towards our children, but this gripe isn't about maintenance or payments. It's about how biased and unfair the system is.
Two weeks ago I grounded my youngest daughter (now aged 14) for not completing her homework assignments and disrespecting her teachers. She contacted my ex-partner who basically told our daughter that she was right to disrespect her teachers because they are all useless idiots (the actual choice of words used were more abusive), and that I am an "authoritarian interfering prat that doesn't understand teenagers." My daughter was also told that she should come and live with them at their house where she could have a new mobile phone. She could use the Internet as long as she likes and other treats such as going to the cinema regularly and lots of new clothes etc.
Well it should come as no surprise that after a vicious tantrum and an argument, my daughter ran away to live at my ex-partner's house. How could she resist that kind of bribery? However not long after she left I received a letter from the CSA saying that as far as the CSA are concerned my daughter now lives with my ex-partner. The notification date was within 12 hours after my daughter going to live there!
I have a full (not shared) residence order and this was granted only after the very careful consideration from the welfare, health services and courts etc. I was assessed questioned and visited at home before the decision was made. This was by no means a quick process.
My ex simply made a phone call to the CSA...
Could the disparity in service and biased interpretation of the rules be because I am a MALE single parent?
By: St Jude
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The problem I have is with the CSA I have no problem in paying for my daughter at all it's the manner in which the CSA work.
I split up with my ex wife two years ago I asked her how much she wanted for the upkeep of our daughter ,her response was £300 pound a month so I paid this into her bank account every month on a set date for 8 months only to receive a letter from the csa saying I need to start paying for my daughters upbringing? So I rang them and explained the arrangement in place , I was shocked when they refused to believe what I had previously agreed with my ex even though I had bank statements text messages from her stating all the information above .basically I felt like a criminal and I had to pay £1500 pound in arrears even though she had already received £2100 from me in child maintenance.
I feel like the CSA treat fathers like scum second class citizens and believe everything the mother says and something needs to be done to stop this I am sure I am not alone when I say this!
Some people on here talk of feckless fathers. There are feckless mothers as well. I was married to one, and she abandoned our child for me to raise on my own, without any financial support. It was only by embarassing my M.P., that I got maintenance!
Gosh what a strain it must have been to have "planned" children. What a stigma a child must face in this brave new world of yours of being "unplanned" and "unloved" as a consequence.
I don't want to have to pay for yours or your husband's promiscuity, planned or otherwise. You both should have been sterilised, after two.
Desperate.
My ex abandoned my disabled baby cos she was "too much "hastle""
But they wont want a single penny from HIM.... God forbid they would actually chase someone who does NOTHING for a sick baby even though I am her sole carer...
I think every teenager goes through the whole spoilt brat stage as I know I did and she will apprecaite you later on in life...
Box
I know from experience (from both perspectives) that the CSA can only make a claim for child support after the date that child benefit is awarded/received by the resident partner. So even if a child does up sticks and move out, the new parent has to jump through all the hoops and get child benefit sorted first - which can and should be contested if you're the residential parent by court order. You're also legally allowed to involve the police to return your daughter home and enforce the court order. Your ex-partner will be forced down the legal route to contest this.