Ex-wife knows how to play the CSA

Ok slightly different here I'm here reading all you poor peoples stories and I have a question.

I'm trying to pre emt the issue of CSA. I've been with my boyfriend a year and we live together. I am a chartered accountant and I have a nice wage and a fairly comfy life.

My boyfriend is about to change jobs as he is not earning much as a mechanic and he is thinking of taking a delivery drivers job. Its going to be more and I think and I'm not sure if this will work but if we keep this to ourselves, keep it away from his parents who may let slip about it. If his greedy ex doesn't know he earns more then it should be ok. He has voluntarily offered 140 a month and is not claiming tax credits as my wage would make it a no.

I have made sure the tramp cannot touch my money or anything as I checked that my earnings wont be touched as we will be getting married next year. so how do I go about making sure she don't try what so many have tried on this forum. Shall I make it so he don't tell his family and just keep with saying he works as a mechanic. Or is there any other way to protect him from her. I don't think seeing as she trapped him by not taking the pill as she didn't want to work no more (yeah.... one of those)

Leave the country and forget your kids

Tell your ex to piss off when she asks you to have the kids over night she only wants u to have the kids so she can go out and get pissed on your csa money and get her fanny felt the horrible cunt would b a lot different if us blokes had the opportunity to get csa off them

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That's why people are reluctant to get married these days and it's not unusual to hear something like 'someone's girlfriend's just had a baby', which sounds bizzare to me anyway. It's expensive to get married and it's even more so to get divorced.

Just going through virtually the same thing myself. I actually look after my boy for 3 and a half days a week, but have to return him on Monday nights. This leaves it just outside the bracket for having to pay a little less. It's crazy that its measured on nights and not days - it's the daytime when I spend money and time with him!!
At the end of the day, the father will lose out every time - I couldn't afford to pay solicitors bills for the divorce, so ended up losing the house and none of my outgoings and bills taken into account with the CSA. I'm left with very little money to take him out anywhere and buy him things, but his mother can afford to go down the pub, take holidays and get a new car on what I'm giving her. Time this was looked at - I don't resent paying for my little boy, but there's no way I enjoy subsidising her and her boyfriends lifestyle.

I think what your ex wife/girlfriends are doing is disgusting! and what CSA are doing is even worst! I went through the same thing when my husband met me his ex got jealous but we didn't pay through CSA at that time we paid her cash but then She stopped my husband seeing his son and contacted CSA! The amount was stupid because they backdated for like 10months or something and they didnt care if we couldnt afford it we ended up losing our house, our life and my husband lost his son! CSA really need to sort it out because i think women and men have equal rights! and women who play god with their child dont deserve to be a mother!!!!!

Don't get me started on the CSA and rediculous ex wifes. My ex earns 40k plus, her fella 25k and I have to pay 500 a month through the csa. I have 3 years of bank statements to prove Ive always provided for them, csa dont care about that. Nor do they take into account the fact that my ex ran off with the kids lsat sept and she still wont declare where she lives, so as a result i have no contact "apparently thats my problem" so for the privilige i pay the maximum amount which leaves me barely able to live, let alone take her to court. Oh yes but if i sit on my fat backside all day and claim benefits it would be paid for. Ive nagged the life out of the police and social services and diarised every bit of contact with them and there response. Ive basically been told she doesnt want me to know where she is so tough, oh and i wrote to my local MP Marc Tami who took around 8 weeks to even reply and then it was his secretary who fobbed me off. What is going on in this country where the women have all the rights and the money, ive seen my kids and they dont even want to live with the ex they want to live with me but as they are 5 and 6, thats her decision too. Again if i dont go out and work my regular 60 hour week, if i sit on my butt, id get a house, benefits oh and my court fees paid. IF I bust a gut for my 40k, i get screwed by my ex who doesnt even need the money and cant then afford court fees and a roof over my head, in the end it all got too much and on april 15th i tried something silly. What is wrong with this country??

I've watched my son unable to feed himself pay his mortgage on anti depressants to get him through life. He sometimes cycles the 60 miles round trip to work and back, and yet his ex lives the high life, wine every night, baccy, pedigree dog etc.

My ex-husband and myself buy most of the clothes for the children and school shoes. She won't sign the form to say my son visited them, a trip of 400 miles, as she knows that money will be deducted from the CSA amount she receives.

I feel its is high time the fathers were brought in to the equation instead of just cash cows. There should be either a body to check where the money is going or more checks by CSA. Even the schools seem to put fathers on the back burner. When my son has rang just to see how they were progressing I get a phone call from his ex blustering about him ringing the school! In this day and age of separation surely there should be something less dictatorial then the present system?

I know that it could be difficult, but how many men are out there struggling through life and let's face it, we only have one of those. It breaks my heart to see my son with no sign of life getting better, and no hope of another relationship with this burden over him.

I have been paying my ex £400 per month for my 3 year old daughter. I get a letter from the csa telling me they are taking £750 per month for 6 months for "backdated" payments. I have obviously been paying internet banking so have a record for EVERY payment. So I send these to the CSA then they tell me I have to still pay. Why? Get this its brilliant. My ex told them it was "Payment for a loan"!!! Criminal Service Agency.....

letter from csa you will be paying xamount this month xamaont next month and xamoumt following month. ring csa and tell them son is 19 in july csa say its computerised and that they cannot change it.. programe is only as good as the people who do the programme ... get told to call back day after his 19 th birthday so that they can look into it and change it manualy .what aload of bull they shudnt send the letters out if they are not correct ...

QUESTION ? 2 children go to collage one is 17 and 1 is 18 17 yearold is staying on at collage 18 year old is at collage but decides to quit and train to be a mma cage fighter.will you stll have to pay because he is not in full time education .... answer is yes because csa cannot be bothered to look into it ...

the csa have a duty of care not just for the mother but for the father aswell they both produce the children whilst they were together..so why dont the csa look after the farthers in this situation ??? the farthers who are willing to pay and dont get chased are the farthers who loose out in the long run .. as I said before DUTY OF CARE FOR BOTH PARTIES

'tankslapper' are u staying with parents? If so play the ho at her own game! Take the kids off her and let the csa know they are now with u! Women everywere are doing this so why cant men play dirty too? By the time she files for full custody the kids will be settled with u and a judge will say its best the kuds stay with you- you get a nice chunk of her wage to go with it!

Vicious circle, After being together for 19/half years and married for 18 I found that my wife was having an affair made easy by her job working away nationally up to 4 nights a week and whilst I worked a 24/7 shift pattern child care was shared mainly between her mother and I. She was all full of herself and demonstrated no remorse, I found that the affair was continuing so after 4 months I left. She was unconcerned at my departure and then when the Decree Nisi landed on her door mat for adultery stigmatising her she came back at me with venom in the form of CSA. At that point I couldnt afford to rent anymore so I took up lodgings living in a bedroom, great after having a big house with a double garage. I dont mind paying for my children however I feel the way it is calculated is wrong. I pay £410 per month whilst my EX earns over 60k per year and including her CSA, family allowance, business expenses hotels and fuel she has £3900-£4200 per month to spend when Im left with £1400. We are still in divorce proceedings, I have no money to buy a place therefore I cant have my kids overnight which she uses against me so I rely on Sundays to take them out which is often an extra £150 per month. In my opinion she dosnt neet the CSA payment which is roughly the same as the repayment on her sports car. I could do with that money to purchase a suitable home to accomodate my children. Why do the CSA punish the non residential parent who have good intentions? Surely the CSA could evaluate her financial circumstances and make it a little fairer for the children and I.