Parents should share financial responsibility equally

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If I have my baby daughter half of the time (yes, 50 percent of the time), so can somebody please tell me why I have to pay maintenance to my ex?  I still have to buy all the same baby stuff she does.  I still have to arrange and pay for childcare if necessary when she's staying with me.  I also have the additional expense of a 110 mile round trip to pick her up and drop her off and as this happens twice a week that'll be 220 miles worth of fuel.  Not cheap at today's prices.

She in gets Tax Credits, Child Benefit... I get none of these benefits

She in turn gets Tax Credits, Child Benefit and Childcare Vouchers.  I get none of these benefits, even though I have her half of the time and am as much of a guardian and parent as she is.

All together these benefits are worth nearly £6,000 a year.  On top of that I have to pay her another £1,800 which is half the total maintenance I should pay as I have her half of the time.

Okay, this is quite a simplistic way of looking at things, but if we're looking at the difference that having a child makes in£our respective income, discounting what we spend to look after her.  I'm £1,800 down and she is £6,000 up giving a total difference of £7,800 a YEAR for the next 18 years.  This is quite something to think about bearing in mind we have exactly the same responsibilities towards our daughter, our costs for caring for her are the same more or less, but I have to pay travel costs which I'll discount for the purpose of this argument.

This makes a difference in subsidy for us bringing up out daughter over the first 18 years work out at around 140 grand.  This is the price of a decent house.  She gets 140K of help in bringing up our daughter and I get absolutely nothing!  How did the financial arrangements for bringing up kids become so one sided?  Please, please could someone tell me why I am an idiot and this is fair?

By: John

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Alistair001

As a father who has fought the system legally over the last 3 years, I conclude the law is biased and unfair when it comes to equal care. This site explains well, http://goo.gl/zu6T3 . Government officials are fully aware and are not prepared to correct the law. I would suggest looking at ways to reduce income and therefore reducing CSA payments. Its also worth lobbying your local MP for support for the early day motion 34 (www.cb24.org). Fingers crossed the Child Benefit reforms rectify this law to be fair, but I hold little faith for the government.

25/02/11 Alistair001

12

Robtuby

Get this then, if I miss just 2 weeks of payments to the agency then I get a letter and a call threatening court, my partners ex hasn't paid a penny for 9months and they haven't even called him, he is on a attachment to earning order as well as he failed to pay previously, I vibrantly update my details and the CSa are happy to ammend the system.
Just remember they have to comply with the data protection act 1998 which states that any personal information held must be current and correct. Any breach then you can act upon it

25/01/11 Robtuby

-8

Linz

Hi john

I know you commented on my post rather negatively... But I just want to say I certainly sympathise with your position!

You ex shouldnt be claiming everything as it sounds to me that she is claiming to be the parent with care and stating that you dont have your child half the time... Maybe you should try the court system? Although this is very expensive, as I have had to pay these myself due to working full time and my ex not...

If not perhaps speaking to a benefits adviser too addvise that your ex is in fact NOT havng your child the amount of time she claims?

Good luck! And well done you for doing the best for your child!!!

Linz x

24/11/10 Linz

-6

1gudDAD

I am one of those fathers who has always taken care of his children, I have two daughter's who I would do anything for. My second child mother and I are together. The CSA has been in my life for almost five years due to the fact that my first born mother can not be a functionally part of our society. The CSA has had my information for almost five years and everytime I have had a change in address or pay they have been notifed. I made a choice to farther my career and my relationship with my second child mother. I move out of town and inform the CSA of the move and change of job yet the CSA still had me down for all the old information of the old job which at that time I hadn't been working at for 6 months. I'm a college student with a partime job and I have a second child and it is not taken into consideration. I've been told I have to wait three years before I can change any information. On top of this I still pay for schooling for both children because the first born mother feels she shouldn't have to pay for one child to go to school when her oldest child(not mine) is free. So if left up to her even though she get's child support and additional help each month from me and my family sense i'm out of town: my child would go with out learning, while her first born goes to school because its public school and she doesn't have to pay for it. For the record my first born is not old enough for public schooling yet. I really wish some one would give me some advise on what to do that actually knows what I can do that will stick in court. If I leave it up to the CSA,this convict treatment will continue and my civil rights will be consider a joke.

04/10/10 1gudDAD

-8

be happy

The csa uses how many nights the child stays with you when deciding how much to take. If she stays with your for 182 nights a year you would pay very little maintenance... keep a diary.

04/08/10 be happy

1

Rippedoffdad

Financial responsibilty should end at 16, as should child benefit and tax credits.

13/07/10 Rippedoffdad

-2

Craig W

John,
That sounds terrible. It puts me off wanting to have a family. Whilst it sounds completely unfair to me, I hope you can still enjoy your time with your daughter and not be mentally dragged down by the system. If so, you'll be a better man than I would be!

12/07/10 Craig W

-15

miserablemoaninggit(in drag!)

I was disappointed that the Budget has frozen child benefit for 3 years. It's disgusting. The thought passed through my mind for a second that I shouldn't really be having a third child and that I might even have to go out and get a job! But, it was only for a second! I shuddered at the thought. Oh well, I'm off to watch Jeremy Kyle that I recorded on Sky plus this afternoon - I couldn't watch it because I had to take the kids to SureStart. Wouldn't you think that someone could come and pick them up for me, and give me a few hours break each day? Is that really too much to expect?

22/06/10 miserablemoaninggit(in drag!)

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Knickerbockerglory

You are a lucky mother and children are more important than you think. Leave the Child Benefit alone.

12/06/10 Knickerbockerglory

-11

Knickerbockerglory

Well you did get something when YOU were a child. Now it is her turn to get the help every child should have.

12/06/10 Knickerbockerglory

-10

miserablemoaninggit

LOL, MikeP, my sentiments exactly! Although having said that, perhaps the red hot poker is going a little too far.

10/06/10 miserablemoaninggit

-7

MikeP

"What else can I get?"

Sterilised would be a good start. Preferably with a red hot poker.

10/06/10 MikeP

-21

miserablemoaninggit(in drag!)

Hi, I'm a single mother who got herself impregnated at 17 years old and now my third child will arrive soon. I'm claiming child benefit for both my 2 children and the foetus within, I live in a council house and claim housing benefit, also income support, free prescriptions, free eye check-ups, free dental treatment, free school meals, I take my children to Sure Start, I've opened my second child trust fund account with the tax payers deposit, and my third child should arrive before the government abolishes it. What else can I get?

10/06/10 miserablemoaninggit(in drag!)

-10

TMA

John, I feel where you're coming from, as I'm in a similar situation. My ex-wife left and I had sole custody of our baby daughter unofficially (no court documents, just verbally arranged) for 3-4 years. She collected tax credits and benefits for the baby while I actually had her. I went to pick her up from reception one day and she wasn't there. My ex had come and taken her hours before school ended without notifying me and claimed she now had full custody. Of course I got a solicitor and fought in court for full custody officially, which I actually lost. We now split 50/50 custody and I pay CSA directly from my wages and she still collects all the benefits. We have the same expenses as we share the time almost to the hour. But the CSA refuses to see that parenting can be truly shared. I've now married and had a son and when we phoned the CSA to tell them about the change in our family, my payments went UP! Unreal!

07/06/10 TMA

-7

LDS

John - you should be able to get childcare vouchers via your works also, separated from your child's mother or not, you too are entitled to them (if they participate in the scheme that is).

As for the other posts about the CSA, the less that's said about the 'system' the better, there would be no more room on this gripe board otherwise LOL!

06/06/10 LDS

-9

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