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It kills me inside watching the torment and emotional battering my children go through when their dad messes them about. Is there anyone else out there in my situation? What my daughter's father has done to her is truly beyond belief. Not only has he not bothered with her but has turned his own sons against their sister, his own daughter.
Didn't want our divorce... the affairs told me otherwise
My ex-husband didn't want our divorce, he said he wanted me and our children - strange that because the affairs he had told me otherwise. But he said if I didn't have him in my life that he would make damn sure I wouldn't have our children in my life either. He turned both boys on me, I wasn't allowed to speak on the phone, he wouldn't answer the door and they were collected early from school so I couldn't really offset the brainwashing.
When we got to court (the slow grinding of the legal system has a lot to answer for) my sons said they wanted to live with their dad. I was supposed to have contact every alternate weekend but that's only a bit of paper - even getting my ex-husband for breach of order didn't worry him. Being an ex-copper he knew darn well they wouldn't punish him and simply went back to denying me access.
Now, 6 years on, my ex-husband hasn't bothered with our daughter because after fighting against me for a year to win custody of our 3 children in 2001, she cried so much because she missed me (she was 7 years old) that he practically threw her back to me. I now have custody of our daughter and he did see her for a while but tormented and bullied her so much. He told her that she had split the family up and that it was her fault the boys were separated from her because she now lived with mummy. And if she really loved daddy and the boys she would stop her sniffling, stop missing mum and go back to live with him.
I know it's unacceptable for dads or mums not to stick to proper arrangements. But believe me, any contact for a kid must surely be better than being rejected totally for no reason and nothing can justify having your brothers turned against you because you love your mum.