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Wow... where do I start? My partner and I were put in a position about 6 months ago. My mother-in-law was charged with serious child neglect against my other halfs brothers and sisters. Apparantly the house was disgusting with 30 or so cats and years of "hoarding". They were forced to bury the dog in the garden as mum was "too upset".
Child protection officers quite rightly had found shelter with foster carers for the children (aged 13, 14, 15, 16). When we heard we stepped in and said that they should stay with us and our baby in a 2 bedroom flat that we own. This they did and all was reasonably well if not a little cramped (I have 2 girls from a previous marriage, they stay with me for a couple of days a week). Both my partner and I worked full time, but due to the extra commitment my partner tendered her resignation to care full time for the children.
As the children had nothing but the smelly, ripped clothes they turned up in, we set about buying new clothes and trainers (thank heavens for eBay) and new school uniforms, shoes, mobile phones etc. We were eventually helped by Surrey fostering team who suggest we apply as kinship foster carers, which we did. We were advised and agreed to move to a bigger property with separate rooms for boys and girls in care, as well as one for my daughters and baby and one for us. Now we live in an expensive area Weybridge Surrey and had to stay in the area as it is mid way between my childrens school and the foster childrens school.
This property costs ?2300 a month plus bills and food. Teenagers eat LOADS and that costs between ?1000 and ?1300 alone. This was at the time the cheapest property of a size acceptable to Surrey Fostering team available. OK this is where it goes a bit mad.
My partner has been sworn at and and was recently punched while she was holding our baby. The children have been seeing their mum (who is a real peice of work) and has convinced a couple of them that it was US who caused the children to be taken into care. The 13 year old girl has run away a couple of times and is now living back at mums in a NEW home only a couple of minutes from us.
As I opened the door to give a few words he charged at me punching me in the head and we fell through into the hall. I threw him out of the house and called police who came around about 1am and found him near the house just standing around. I was told I had to take him back in to our house or I would be charged with "abandonment".
So we had no choice but to let him in for the night (I had my partner and 3 daughters at home to protect as well). However, as I said I was committed to his safety "or else". Now it is the day after and we have spoken to fostering team who have told us they can rehouse him with other foster carers, but that they would also stop half of our fostering allowance immediately.
We are already thousands out of pocket for furniture, beds, clothes etc etc and now are faced with homelessness in 2 months. I fully understand that new carers need funding but we were told to move as everything would be fine for years... There is loads more to this story and I apologise if I am rambling, but I am so worried about our situation and disappointed by our treatment. Any ideas?
By: Fosterfool
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However, I am mildly surprised how easy the process seems to have been, I know a couple who foster and they are doing it because they were rejected for adoption (yeah, I don't follow the logic either). Anyway, they had to go through months of assessment and interviews (including their own children being interviewed without the parents in the room), indeed regular friends and visitors to the home had to be vetted too.
That aside, it seems your mother-in-law has issues with her daughter, doubtless dating back years and is using the current situation. Judging from the state of the previous 'home', I would suggest that the children had very few boundaries set, so and restrictions will come as a shock.
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