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Co-parenting when ex's new wife causing problems

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My child's father and I were never married.  We broke up only a few days prior to becoming aware of my pregnancy, which was long enough for a new relationship to blossom between himself and the woman who is now his wife.

Since the day I saw "pregnant" the drama has been ongoing.  I have come to terms with the "single parent" life and I am okay with it.  In fact, I love it!  My child is my greatest accomplishment thus far!

But, then there's the newlyweds.  Throughout my pregnancy it was one issue after the next.  This girl thrived on making me as miserable as possible, for example, shed say "It's not my problem she's pregnant" to one person, and then "Oh we'll have to go on a vacation before the baby gets here so we can catch up on rest.  Heaven knows we'll need it!" to the to someone else.  Talk about one face, one mouth and two totally different attitudes!  I was accused of being a liar because the baby couldn't be his one, and then Id get messages from her asking what kind of clothes she should buy for baby.

Young baby feet In the first 2 months of our child's life, my ex-partner would visit once or twice a week.  This would happen mostly on weekdays while I was on Maternity Leave and the fiance was at work.  Don't get ideas, the sight of him nauseates me.  My point is, it seemed like he wanted both portions of his life to remain separate.

Throughout all of this, I continue trying to maintain my composure for the sake of my child who is now 14 months old.  He has JUST attempted to establish visitation through the court, after being absent for the last 6 months.  Mind you I've never denied him the opportunity to visit his child, in fact if anything I've always encouraged it!

Rather than establishing a relationship with each other one on one as we had originally agreed upon, he requested that the agreement be revised so that he would be able to bring a "chaperone" as per his wife's request due to her discomfort resulting from us being alone.  Why, oh why, would anyone in their right mind commit to not only a relationship but a MARRIAGE, if first of all, they know that there are children involved and are opposed to it, and secondly, can't trust the other person further than they can see them!?

I've attempted to speak with her to basically request that all ill feelings toward me please be set aside when it concerns my child.  It's not the child's fault that things are the way they are.  The fact that someone can be so insecure, devious, manipulative, and down right crazy sickens me, and the fact that my child will be exposed to such madness infuriates me!  I know that five years from now all of this may all be in the past, but right now it's one big mess!

Any insight on this would be very much appreciated.

By: Annoyed


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Lamini

Lamini

I have been in bondage ever since my husband leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Rose introduced me to this great spell caster Prophet osaz and i contacted him through his email spirituallove@hotmail.com,i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Ahmed come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name "spirituallove@hotmail. com"
25/08/14 Lamini
-1
Grumpy xx

Grumpy xx

"Marriage hasn't got anything to do with pregnancy these days."

More's the pity, if you ask me. If it did, perhaps there would be fewer feral kids roaming our streets getting drunk, doing drugs, getting into crime because they've not no decent parental role models to emulate. Of course I'm not blaming parents who are married when they first have kids but decide or are forced to separate and or divorce later on. Sometimes that's for the best. But why any adult would deliberately choose to have a family without the solid foundation in place to bring those kids a sense of stability is nothing short of irresponsible, which the taxpayer normally ends up paying for.
09/06/11 Grumpy xx
-11
Susan

Susan

Marriage hasn't got anything to do with pregnancy these days and stable relationships can occur without it. Co-parenting is a common enough term that describes two parents who share responsibility for a child even though they don't live together and aren't emotionally involved, it basically means one in three family units these days! Not everyone chooses to get pregnant and even if you are taking all the appropriate preventative measures, nature can still come up trumps. The author didn't go into detail on this so I wouldn't jump to conclusions.
08/06/11 Susan
-7
Grumpy xx

Grumpy xx

To be honest, I'm not really that sympathetic toward you. Why on earth did you get pregnant when you weren't even married to your ex-partner (or co--parent - the term you prefer to use). I know that marriages are not always stable, even when children are present, but it still the most stable institution to bring up a child. Anyone who gets pregnant when the issue of marriage isn't on the cards at all, or deliberately avoided, must tell you that one partner or both 'wants to keep their options open and escape from the partnership at minimal cost to themselves.' A baby, on the other hand, isn't an option once it comes into the world.

Sorry to sound like 'Saint Grumpy' (on my moral high horse) but you seem to be the author of your own misfortune, in my view.
08/06/11 Grumpy xx
2
P. Walsh

P. Walsh

You being a woman should know how devious women can be, I think you should let them do all the worrying and you just get on with your life with your child. just concentrate on your motherly duties otherwise you will only make youself ill, that would not do you or your child any good at all. Be a good parent and let them do all the running around and if he really wants to see the child then make him pay by claiming for everything. Good luck.
07/06/11 P. Walsh
-5
Gherkindangler

Gherkindangler

There are plenty of people out there who think that if you trust your partner when he/she is out of your sight, you cannot possibly be in love with that person. Sad but true !
06/06/11 Gherkindangler
-8

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