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Eighteen months ago I had a baby. She was all of 6 hours old when the dreaded question came..."So when are you having another baby?"
WHY do people ask this, especially when the mother is exhausted, sore and probably still shaking from the emotional and physical strain of giving birth? It's not as if I was even thinking about the next day, let alone the next child!
"Yes, I've been sliced from front to back and I'm in a hundred different types of pain, but I simply can't wait to go through it all again as soon as possible!"
It seems to have set a trend. As my daughter grows older and approaches pre-school age it seems as if I'm expected to get broody all over again, with at least one person each week asking me when I'm giving my child a brother or sister.
It's almost as if it's illegal to only have one child. And notice I said "when". It's never "if"...
Quite frankly, I'm getting sick of the question, and I'm also getting equally fed up with the way the people asking these questions make me feel selfish when I say quite honestly "No, I don't think I want another child!", it's as if I'm depriving my daughter of something by not going through all that again.
Admittedly the hubby and I haven't decided firmly one way or the other, but our general feeling at the moment is that we're quite content with the one we have, and another child might stretch us a bit too thin, financially if not emotionally.
The ironic thing is that the people who insist on me having more children are the same people who tut-tut when they hear about the couples who have numerous kids while on benefits. Seems like you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. So for now, I pick 'don't'...at least I get a good night's sleep!
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I didn't know there was such a thing; they must exist cos I have written it.
There should be no child benefit at all, or child tax credit.
If I choose to have a car, motorbike, boat, three piece suite, computer system, plasma TV garden shed, dog, cat etc. the goverment doesn't give me a weekly allowance for each of these.
So why, when people choose to breed, are they paid an allowance?
And before you start, yes we do have kids, I just don't believe in subsidised breeding.
HOWEVER, with rights come responsibilities - to ensure zero population growth you should have no more than two - " 2's enough ". Many of the world's current issues are a consequence of excessive population, but because of inept politicians they are dressed up as other issues
eg. unemployment, energy costs, crime, food shortages.....
The political correctness brigade concentrate on rights while conveniently forgettting responsibilty - well wake up guys, they are inseparable.
No-one should be pressured to have ANY children. It is a personal choice. I think you are very sensible that you are considering the financial position before simply deciding to go ahead and that's refreshing to see. There is a problem of over-population anyway, so although I don't think it's wrong to have several children I do think it's wrong to pressure people into having more than they would have chosen to have. It's also wrong to have more than you can afford and expect the rest of society to support them with their tax-money.
I think it can be nice to be brought up with a sibling, but then again if you are stuck with a sibling that you just don't get on with then it's not so nice. Most children go to childcare at least for some sessions per week by the age of three so I don't think single children miss out on social interaction, it's just that the interaction is different to that of living with a sibling.
Being an only child can have advanatges, as can having a sibling, so don't be afraid of firmly telling people that you feel that your family is complete with your lovely daughter, and that you may consider trying for another if you change your mind in the future.
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