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People asking 'When are you having another baby?'

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Eighteen months ago I had a baby.  She was all of 6 hours old when the dreaded question came..."So when are you having another baby?"

WHY do people ask this, especially when the mother is exhausted, sore and probably still shaking from the emotional and physical strain of giving birth?  It's not as if I was even thinking about the next day, let alone the next child!

"Yes, I've been sliced from front to back and I'm in a hundred different types of pain, but I simply can't wait to go through it all again as soon as possible!"

It seems to have set a trend.  As my daughter grows older and approaches pre-school age it seems as if I'm expected to get broody all over again, with at least one person each week asking me when I'm giving my child a brother or sister.  Baby feet It's almost as if it's illegal to only have one child.  And notice I said "when".  It's never "if"...

Quite frankly, I'm getting sick of the question, and I'm also getting equally fed up with the way the people asking these questions make me feel selfish when I say quite honestly "No, I don't think I want another child!", it's as if I'm depriving my daughter of something by not going through all that again.

Admittedly the hubby and I haven't decided firmly one way or the other, but our general feeling at the moment is that we're quite content with the one we have, and another child might stretch us a bit too thin, financially if not emotionally.

The ironic thing is that the people who insist on me having more children are the same people who tut-tut when they hear about the couples who have numerous kids while on benefits.  Seems like you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.  So for now, I pick 'don't'...at least I get a good night's sleep!


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The drugs yet gangster mate gta5 boi face reem king

The drugs yet gangster mate gta5 boi face reem king

I love dog doo doo, it makes me feel like a happy child running through a field full of flowers and urine
02/10/13 The drugs yet gangster mate gta5 boi face reem king
-2
Official Justin Bieber

Official Justin Bieber

I had a kid when I was 7, and when he was born he looked after me as gave me milk. We live in the care home and eat biscuits-but dog sh1t tastes nicer than my face and I hate my brother
02/10/13 Official Justin Bieber
-2
The jabster

The jabster

F off, it involves everyone you ignorant prick
02/10/13 The jabster
0
camilla6ªlevel

camilla6ªlevel

This is an issue that concerns only the parents.
18/05/13 camilla6ªlevel
-5
Girleps

Girleps

The people talk very much, and ask very. They need understand that if the mother want have one baby, she can. She don't need have very sons. For the child is good have brothers or sisters, but sometime the mother and the father can't have others babys or don't want.
18/05/13 Girleps
-2
hairyfairy

hairyfairy

I don`t know what`s wrong with people. I mean large families were a great idea when people had a life expectancy of only 30 or 40 years, but now that wer`e all living so much longer the world is becoming seriously overpopulated. We must consider making a law penalising people who have more than 2 children.
18/05/13 hairyfairy
1
Holloway

Holloway

I agree. I don't want kids (Not legally old enough to have them anyway) but if I did have a child I'd want to wait until they were old enough to help look after the next one if I did give them a sibling. I think I'd rather adopt but I admire your bravery in actually giving birth, and think it's totally your business-if people ask if you want another child, when your current child is a few years old, fair enough, but assuming you want another when you're still gritting your teeth from having the last one is just rude.
21/04/12 Holloway
0
Stalag 14

Stalag 14

"plasma TV garden shed"
I didn't know there was such a thing; they must exist cos I have written it.
15/01/12 Stalag 14
-1
Stalag 14

Stalag 14

"There should be no child benefit after the second child!"

There should be no child benefit at all, or child tax credit.

If I choose to have a car, motorbike, boat, three piece suite, computer system, plasma TV garden shed, dog, cat etc. the goverment doesn't give me a weekly allowance for each of these.

So why, when people choose to breed, are they paid an allowance?

And before you start, yes we do have kids, I just don't believe in subsidised breeding.
15/01/12 Stalag 14
0
miserablemoaninggit

miserablemoaninggit

Channel 4 this coming Tuesday. First of a 3-part series about life in one of Britain's largest families - a family of 14 with another baby on the way. How do they do it? Easy. We are paying for all these kids. Our welfare system is allowing these massive, welfare-dependent families, with mothers who have no intention of ever going out to work. It's time that the government realised that cutting child benefit is not a vote loser but a vote winner! There should be no child benefit after the second child!
15/01/12 miserablemoaninggit
8
Poiop

Poiop

Just say "when I feel like it" and that's that.
15/01/12 Poiop
3
J man

J man

It is your right to have children.
HOWEVER, with rights come responsibilities - to ensure zero population growth you should have no more than two - " 2's enough ". Many of the world's current issues are a consequence of excessive population, but because of inept politicians they are dressed up as other issues
eg. unemployment, energy costs, crime, food shortages.....
The political correctness brigade concentrate on rights while conveniently forgettting responsibilty - well wake up guys, they are inseparable.
25/05/11 J man
6
Critter

Critter

OK Respect-Our-Government, now I know your comments are tongue-in-cheek and not serious so sorry to you that I griped about some of your other posts. It's just that people like the one you have pretended to be really do exist and they get me riled!

No-one should be pressured to have ANY children. It is a personal choice. I think you are very sensible that you are considering the financial position before simply deciding to go ahead and that's refreshing to see. There is a problem of over-population anyway, so although I don't think it's wrong to have several children I do think it's wrong to pressure people into having more than they would have chosen to have. It's also wrong to have more than you can afford and expect the rest of society to support them with their tax-money.

I think it can be nice to be brought up with a sibling, but then again if you are stuck with a sibling that you just don't get on with then it's not so nice. Most children go to childcare at least for some sessions per week by the age of three so I don't think single children miss out on social interaction, it's just that the interaction is different to that of living with a sibling.

Being an only child can have advanatges, as can having a sibling, so don't be afraid of firmly telling people that you feel that your family is complete with your lovely daughter, and that you may consider trying for another if you change your mind in the future.
25/05/11 Critter
1
Respect our government

Respect our government

How ungreatfull. Your womb is there to make babies & the benefit system is there to support you financially. No excuses. Ive got 9!!
25/04/11 Respect our government
-3
ray

ray

We have been married for 2 years and despite our earnest efforts have discovered that we are unable to have children. Obviously we are devestated and neither of us realised. The quizzing of relatives and friends is something that we have to endure. Neither of us are ready to let people know why and we have yet to decide how to deal with it. Its a small insignificant point when waged against the awful feeling that we are unable to do what we feel we were born to do - have children. I would give anything to have the problems the orignal griper. I am not trying to belittle your gripe but rejoice at what you do have.
22/02/11 ray
1

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