13 comments Add a comment
I am a single mother with three children aged 11, 9 and 3. I was forced to leave my violent relationship with my ex-husband as it was beginning to affect the children. After many visits to court I finally managed to get my ex-husband out of my life.
He would not pay the mortgage and would not leave the house so I got an occupation order so that the children and I had somewhere to live. We went for a financial settlement, but just before the court case he decided to file for bankruptcy! I am now waiting to see if the house is going to be sold, in which case where am I supposed to go with my children?
Then of course there is the CSA, and what a fat lot of good they are! He hasn't paid me a single penny for over 18 months. I have given the CSA all the information they need. After numerous telephone calls, time and time again I have been sent round in circles, passed from person to person and no one seems to have a clue what is going on.
The woman on Friday said to me, it doesn't matter how much you cry or how many children you have, it isn't going to make any difference and she then put the phone down on me. What are these people paid for? I suggest that the CSA should pay us direct and then get the money form our ex-husbands then we might see some kind of financial support.
I am now seriously considering giving up my job...
I even went as far as to send a letter of complaint to the House of Commons. Im sure I won't hear anything as a result of that, but it made me feel slightly better. On the other hand, I am now seriously considering giving up my job. If I was claiming benefits Im sure I could get money for all sorts of things and would be much better off than I am now.
I am so fed up and people often wonder why women stay in violent relationships; I think the answer is probably all of the above. It is such a fight to get out of the situation with very little or no support.
By: Jules
Leave a comment
CSA money is not TAX payers money as you think, it's money from the PARTNER.
While I'm at it, it's NOT a crime to live on benefits, while your working, you pay tax and insurance, it's this money your claiming back.
If it get the person out of a violent relationship, AND keeps a roof over her head, the so-be -it.
The priority is to keep a ROOF over your heads, at least she'll have it PAID for whilst it's all sorted out.
I've been through one of these relationships, and beleive me, looking after number one is a BIG priority.
Work can wait until it's sorted out.
Try and stay positive and congratulate yourself on your absolute refusal to stay in a violent, abusive relationship. The future will open up further opportunities for a person like you - you wouldn't allow it to do anything but . . . good luck!
I've been in the same situation, and believe me,it's a CRUEL world out there. Don't believe the do-gooders, they haven't had to skrimp and scrape a living on SCRAPS.
Take some legal advice on this bankruptcy thing, and I'm sure you can block it, if he HAS money.
Don't just sit their, give up the job, and protect your roof. When it's all settled down, you can resume work again, but until that day comes, look after yourself and the kids.
Very good luck
Also, benefits should be there for people who need them, not for people who are so annoyed with the system they dont want to work anymore.
I sympathise with your situation utterly, I feel very sad for you and how hard you're struggling. I guess all you can do is stop waiting for morons at the CSA to help you out and instead keep your job and carry on fighting the world. Your kids will respect you for it.
Richi rich
Have you ever suffered abuse ?
No! Didn't think so now sit the fuk down and shut the fuk up!