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I would like to state, realistically, how much it costs on average to bring up a child because I think a lot of non-resident parents just haven't got a clue.
With regard to the all too common scenario of divorced or separated families, I am sick, tired and fed up of second families thinking that its okay for money to be taken away from the first family to feed and clothe their offspring! For example, if someone has two children from a previous relationship, then they SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY MORE until they can afford to pay for them without robbing the children in that first family!
Statistically, a child costs around £180,000 from the day theyre born until the day they can stand on their own two feet. Raising a family is a great expense and therefore the decision should not be undertaken lightly. Now if we are being fair (and I invite you to disagree), both parents should contribute around £90,000 over the child's lifetime. However, there is no way on this earth that many non-resident parents pay anything close to that. They moan and whine about having to pay a few hundred (less in many cases) a month.
Where on earth is the PWC (parent with care) supposed to find childcare costs from?
As far as pre-school children are concerned, half of nursery fees should also be paid in order for both parents to go out to work. Where on earth is the PWC (parent with care) supposed to find childcare costs from, unless each parent actually looks after the child 50/50?
As for all those women out there who moan about their partners paying their ex-wife too much maintenance - get real! My partner who lives with me (Im a PWC by the way) pays for his kids in both time AND money, whereas most non-resident parents only have to look after children every other weekend (if that!). I would like to know how exactly these ex-wives "spend the money in the pub" when they are only getting a miserly couple of hundred pounds a month to feed and clothe the children?
In my opinion, 15% is NOT enough in most cases, and the fact that the percentage comes down if the non-resident parent goes on to have more children in a different relationship, is actually ludicrous. This is quite literally robbing Peter to pay Paul and means that the children from the first relationship are effectively paying for the children of the second one.
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There are an equal number of women who abuse the system and who treat the men they split from as just a funder which is wrong in these days where people are fighting for women's financial equality in the work place. I am a woman saying this and yes, have a personal case which makes me hate all of these people who think a woman has a right to dictate her ex's life no matter what the circumstances. (And I completely agree that men who don't pay are also scum - no question.) In our circumstance we have agreement to exactly 50% of child care (in reality it's more as we always cover extra time she wants away whereas we organise our time away for when we don't already have the children) and we pay for absolutely everything over here and do 90% of the travel (30 miles return when she chose to move away and make the distance an issue). And yet, although we have to pay for all of their clothes, food, heating, presents, school clubs (and are the only ones who pay for after school activities they want as she knows she can hold out on paying as we would stump up to see they don't go without though we cannot say the same of her) - everything on the list mentioned, we 1) don't get the child benefit and 2) have to pay her £225 per month. This seems entirely based on the fact that she is a woman, despite her working and my own work taking a back seat to support the children far more than her, and makes me sick to my stomach that anyone would accept this money as if I were in her position I would wish it to be fairer. I have 2 stepsons and feel sick that this may happen to them in this heavily biased system. Yes, if one parent earns a vast amount more then I think it should be fair they contribute more, but her income is not taken into account and she earns a lot. My question is why should the father bear the sole responsibility of financially supporting the children? The mother should take her share of responsibility. Yes, all cases are different and if people have sacrificed career for kids that should be taken into account, but why are individual circumstances never to be taken into account when it's to the men's detriment?
18/11/12 Lijanne
-6
men that wont pay for their kids are SCUM in my opinion. All the men moaning on here saying but after i work i hardly have anything left make me sick to my stomach.
How much money do you think women have after they have paid childcare, food, clothing, days out, birthday and xmas presents, after school clubs and school dinners at £15 a week? not only that they have to pay their rent, electric, gas, fuel for car to run the children around, tax on car, insurance on car and other little bits.
And while thy do all that they have no nights out and wash and clean their children's clothes, feed them, take them out, do their homework with them, tuck them in to bed, along with everything else. Single working mums get NO DAYS OFF they work 24 hours a day all day every day.
Get your fat backsides off to work and get more shifts and pay for your kids, and guess what even after all of the extra work you do you will still get a day off an be better off then the working single mum.
Dads who dont like to pay for their children are scumbags
07/09/12 get them to work
How much money do you think women have after they have paid childcare, food, clothing, days out, birthday and xmas presents, after school clubs and school dinners at £15 a week? not only that they have to pay their rent, electric, gas, fuel for car to run the children around, tax on car, insurance on car and other little bits.
And while thy do all that they have no nights out and wash and clean their children's clothes, feed them, take them out, do their homework with them, tuck them in to bed, along with everything else. Single working mums get NO DAYS OFF they work 24 hours a day all day every day.
Get your fat backsides off to work and get more shifts and pay for your kids, and guess what even after all of the extra work you do you will still get a day off an be better off then the working single mum.
Dads who dont like to pay for their children are scumbags
-4
I have had hell with the CSA and 7 years later not a single payment from my daughters father. The courts wont even agree that he should pick his daughter up for contact so now we have to take it in turns to drive my daughter for her contact with her father.
I have give csa all the details of where her father lives, works, what cars he drives to work an still they insist he earns NOTING. Well what the hell is he living on then?
I think that Non resident parents who do not pay should pay for there child should do community service by law, then if they are working they would be quick to declare their income and if the do not the would find work quicker.
Their weekly expenditures should not be considered when deciding how much they should pay, there rent should be affordable so they can pay for there children, leaving their family should not be a reason to rent places they would not have been able to afford had they still been with the family.
These fathers should be made to pay by law no matter what, if they cant and wont they should have to work community service.
07/09/12 annoyed mum who gets nothing from ex
I have give csa all the details of where her father lives, works, what cars he drives to work an still they insist he earns NOTING. Well what the hell is he living on then?
I think that Non resident parents who do not pay should pay for there child should do community service by law, then if they are working they would be quick to declare their income and if the do not the would find work quicker.
Their weekly expenditures should not be considered when deciding how much they should pay, there rent should be affordable so they can pay for there children, leaving their family should not be a reason to rent places they would not have been able to afford had they still been with the family.
These fathers should be made to pay by law no matter what, if they cant and wont they should have to work community service.
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From the other side of the fence the answer is this. The csa algorithm has got nothing to do with how much a child costs nor looks at how much the PWC earns. 15 per cent is actually huge for some people. This is why most or a lot of NRP try and evade as much as they can because the system is so unfair. A child costs what a child costs to raise and is not a function of how much someone earns. I'd happily look after my little girl fulltime without any csa money in reverse and I'm an NRP not thru choice. The only diference in real cost because my weekend cancels out hers and I have one school pick up (Fri) and one drop off (Mon)is 8 school mornings and evenings as school holidays are split. so as she woudl have had to do 5 school mornings if we split it, really as an NRP I shoudl fund her extra 3 mornings and evenings.... is that really 15 percent of salary? Luckily I am self employed and I odnt quite have to go thru this nonesense.
28/05/11 Iceman
-12
You're the type of person who really annoys me. I think it's despicable of you to say that nrps "rob" the first children of their money. That's okay for YOU to say; what about the PWC "robbing" the SECOND children of their child tax credits? I suppose that is acceptable is it?
Women like you are determined not to let your ex-partners have a new life (with their children included in it before you go accusing them of "neglecting their first children". You come across as jealous and bitter and there is no need for it at all. What nrps do with their lives after YOU is none of your business! They DO pay enough, and they do a damn good job the vast majority of them. They need money to live on as well so get off your high horse and stop being so god damn miserable.
My partner WAS paying far too much maintenance. I come to this conclusion as him and his ex-wife have joint custody but she didn't want to declare this because she would lose money. How do you justify that one? Do not call all women who's partners pay child maintenance; some of them have every right to moan when the jealous ex lies and cheats the system to stop the nrp living their own life. The PWC demonstrates a sense of power over their ex husband when they use the CSA and it's sickening.
Visit csahell.com, then your biggoted opinions might change a little...
14/05/11 Rachel
Women like you are determined not to let your ex-partners have a new life (with their children included in it before you go accusing them of "neglecting their first children". You come across as jealous and bitter and there is no need for it at all. What nrps do with their lives after YOU is none of your business! They DO pay enough, and they do a damn good job the vast majority of them. They need money to live on as well so get off your high horse and stop being so god damn miserable.
My partner WAS paying far too much maintenance. I come to this conclusion as him and his ex-wife have joint custody but she didn't want to declare this because she would lose money. How do you justify that one? Do not call all women who's partners pay child maintenance; some of them have every right to moan when the jealous ex lies and cheats the system to stop the nrp living their own life. The PWC demonstrates a sense of power over their ex husband when they use the CSA and it's sickening.
Visit csahell.com, then your biggoted opinions might change a little...
-10
Too right they should pay more. I get a measly £1000 for me and my 9 kids! Thats nothing! ...theyre dads fled the country so they wouldnt have to cough up
27/04/11 Respect the government
-15
It is not for an ex partner to state that if her ex marries again he shouldn`t have anymore if he can`t afford them talk about selfish!!! The figure of £180000 for bringing up a child is ridiculous.If you count 18 as being able to stand on their own two feet, that`s £10,000/year. Some people only earn just a bit more than that..so how can it cost that much?
24/04/11 Biggles
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Id also like to add that you are lucky to recieve a couple of hundred from the nrp as there are mums who recieve nothing and still manage to raise theyre children without complaining
16/04/11 Annoyed-mummy-to-one
-12
Im actualy embarased to be a woman right now.posts like this are the reason us single mums are frowned upon.lets talk about the costs of raising a child and while were at it il just point out that child tax credit,child benefit and upto 80% goverment discount on childcare costs ontop of what any nrp gives a pwc is enough to feed,clothe and take care of a child in a loving home.the scorned female who posted this gripe needs to get a grip of her finances if shes struggling...do u work?smoke or drink? I have friends like this who frustrate me just as bad,moan about hardship,not being able to buy theyre kids new shoes whilst smoking 20 a day! People dont realise how lucky they are
16/04/11 Annoyed-mummy-to-one
-18
Hardly a free ride, she is caring for your child. Do you know how much child care costs?
You have the priceless gift of knowing your child is safe and loved, not being "cared for" by total strangers.
11/04/11 Spence
You have the priceless gift of knowing your child is safe and loved, not being "cared for" by total strangers.
-12
Rubbish. I pay 65 a week for a 1 year old that only needs about 25. That won't go up much soon either despite clothes and play school. Mum is getting a free ride to sit at home with my daughter.
11/04/11 James
-15
I have recently divorced my ex husband due to violence in the relationship. He now is getting the ctc AND the cb. Social services want me to move out as this means more room in the home for the children and they also believe my ex is a better parent as he 'does everything' and that I am incompetent due to my having bipolar/ depression. I would like to point out that I am more than capable of looking after my children as I was the one who looked after them the greater percentage when they were both tiny. My ex has only started to pull his weight in the last year. Having depression does NOT make me a bad person or a bad mother. I have also been informed that my ex husband wants full custody of the children, and I also believe that his parents wish to 'oust me from the childrens lives completely'
01/04/11 Phoenix
-22
My ex works 16hrs a week earns around £200 a week. She then gets £200 a week tax credits. I pay 30% of my wage for CSA giving her a total of £600 a week £2400 a month!! I work 30hrs a week and I am left with £1000 a month to support myself, wife and child - where is the justice in this? (Oh my ex divorced me because her sexual preference changed - not that anyone notices that her female 'lodger' is actaully her partner)
31/03/11 Me
-21
Split the child care 50-50. No CSA and no maintenance therefore no hassle.
Most dads don't want to be NRP.
19/03/11 Harty
Most dads don't want to be NRP.
-8
maninattic