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Husband changed after 3 months of marriage

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We might well sound like the golden couple, I'm 21 and my husband is 37.  He's young, muscular, smart, and good looking - pretty much all a girl could ever want.  That's my husband of 3 months!  Basically, it has been 3 months of proving to the world that age is only a number and regardless of it, love between two people is possible.  Does this sound like a familiar story?

He proposed to me in Cyprus while on a Para sailing holiday.  He is the love of my life and people (friends mainly) envied us, they wanted to be us because we were pure, happy, and crazily in love.  How rare is that these days?  We were basically on top of the world.

That was until one day his actions and behaviour towards me suddenly changed, he couldn't even call me wife or baby any more.  Ups and downs happen in relationships so I gave it some time, but I gradually started to notice that something was really wrong.  He told me that he couldn't really be himself and that he didn't want to be with me because he felt that it was probably all just an illusion.

Out of the blue my husband doesn't want to be with me...

A couple getting married Out of the blue my husband doesn't want to be with me, he couldn't bear the thought of sharing his life with someone although he promised he would give it all to me and I did the same.  He said he has been living alone for 37 years, he is just not used to sharing a life with someone. 

To me this just doesn't make any sense.  I don't know what happened and I am overwhelmed and confused, so I decided to have a NO CONTACT break from the relationship.  Maybe he will clear his mind with some time alone and figure it out.  By the way this is our first day apart.

I don't expect him to call me tonight but I'm hoping it is just a phase he is passing through...  I really love him and this is my gripe.  Why the change of heart, why did he do this to me now?  I really don't know what to expect. 

Has anyone else been in this situation and how do you cope?

By: vanessakman


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First Prev 1/3 Next Last

Lokus

Lokus

After 2 years of marriage honeymoon ends.
We need to care about each other. About our future. After 45 and for sure 50 people straggling to have long term relationship. Learn to except each other with all the ups and downs. I am married for 20 years. We are BEST friend, GOOD parents to our kids, we do LOVE. Because We want too. Find comfort zones around each other and with each other.
Wish you luck
15/12/17 Lokus
1
pet

pet

Sorry I only just read your latest post. Good for you! Glad you're moving on. X
24/03/14 pet
0
pet

pet

Things do cool off a bit after you have been together a while, but not to the point he's pushing you away.. I had an ex, he was 45 and tried pulling that 'i'm just too used to living my life alone' vs, too. It's no excuse! If he won't at least try to accommodate to living a life with you maybe it's time to have one last attempt at a serious talk and then move on :( it IS a big change to live with someone, but sounds like he's not even trying :( good luck
24/03/14 pet
1
Pacheco

Pacheco

Well...I think honestly the woman this marriage have love herself, but this is normal in the society, where the man doesn't have any compromise with the wife.
18/05/13 Pacheco
-3
Fed up pedestrian

Fed up pedestrian

Isn't Orinoko a womble?

I seem to recall that wombles were very fond of mushrooms; they must have been eating too many of the wrong kind.
19/12/12 Fed up pedestrian
-4
miserablemoaninggit

miserablemoaninggit

Is it really possible that there are people who are so completely idiotic that they can be taken in by stupid postings advertising witchcraft and spells? Please, let not that be the case because it will seriously damage my faith in humankind.

Admin please do as much as you can to remove these ridiculous postings!
25/09/12 miserablemoaninggit
-1
Some Bloke

Some Bloke

From your last comment, I'm actually glad that he left you because he did you a favor - you deserve so much better than him. You know what, he is probably one of those people that hops form relationship to relationship, never being able to commit. Someday soon you will meet some awesome guy and be glad that the schmuck left you. You have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy it!
31/03/12 Some Bloke
-7
LetMeLive

LetMeLive

Wife away in Spain for a few days - no change in the bedroom, but washing starting to pile up.
27/02/11 LetMeLive
-7
vanessak

vanessak

I pulle dthrough honestly it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be...didn't feel like anything or anyone is missing i'm back to my single life and enjoying it to the maximum. I don't think i'll ever reconsidering marriage in the near future, simply focusing on work and my university. Thank you for all your inputs and I am reassured from a lot of things some of you mentioned. Maybe it was the wrong choice and I learned from my mistake. Nothing I look back at and regret though, I just looked at the cup half full what I enjoyed during this relationship.

After christmas I actually bumped into him at a club, he was out with some boys and some girl so I wished him a merry christmas and found out that I actually have no more feelings towards him.

Leaving him was the right choice after all!!!
It feels great!!!
14/01/11 vanessak
-21
Out With Her

Out With Her

Tell me how to change my wife after thirty years of marriage.

Please note I cannot afford lawyers or ridiculous legal processes,
28/12/10 Out With Her
2
be real

be real

hi miserablemoaninggit, its high time the superficial custom of marriage should be abolished... but the fact remains that people, especially women still consider wedding day as one of the most important even in one's life and as long as that stays marriages will take place.

We should try to give importance to the whole life and not just events..........
11/12/10 be real
-12
miserablemoaninggit

miserablemoaninggit

Marriage as a life-long partnership is pretty much doomed from the start. 2 people get together, often with little in common. The initial physical attraction begins to fade and the s*x descends into mediocrity. Children are born and the house is filled with screams, vomit and excrement, followed by an expensive upbringing that puts a strain on household finances and prevents couples pursuing their own wants and needs. Children turn into teenagers, and the long period of selfishness and self-centredness begins. Through all this, couples are supposed to maintain a relationship! Ridiculous! As ridiculous as the word filter used by The Weekly Gripe which concludes that s*x is a rude word!
10/12/10 miserablemoaninggit
-13
MJ

MJ

It sounds like you know deep down that the right choice was to leave him, and now that you have left him, you want reassurance from us. Now that you are single again, you will feel a void in your life. You are used to him playing a central part of your life and now that has gone. It will take time for you to adjust, but from what you have said, you made the only sensible choice, and you left him. Be proud that you have had the strength to walk away from something bad, where others would have desperately clung on to a sinking ship. You are still young, and yet you have already shown that you know the difference between a healthy relationship and a bad one.
08/12/10 MJ
-6
caz

caz

Hi the problem with people today, they have little faith in the world. Stop thinking about your feelings and talk about the real problems with your hubby. Being married is something you work at and the first year is very testing. I have got married, moved house and had a baby iand when I look back over the 11 years of marriage, I feel we have only chipped the surface of our wholesome journey. Good luck for the future.
08/12/10 caz
-10
suzy

suzy

Hi, first of all hope you are okay. Sorry, but you gave a physical description of your husband with no mention of his emotional behaviour with you. Physical attraction is not a lasting aspect although it is a vital part for a successful marriage!!
There could be so many reasons for his abrupt change , but he is definitely wrong for not having spoken his thoughts and tried sorting it out.
You are still young, and as others have said take it as an experience. Maybe next time you will make a better choice..........
07/12/10 suzy
4

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