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Although we had been living together just over eleven years, my husband has gone and found a new woman on the Internet. I say he found her on the Internet, because it was actually a national paper forum that happened to be online.
I discovered his cyber affair just after Christmas when I couldn't understand why he was staying up until the early hours of the morning on his laptop. I decided one night to take a look in this forum to see what was so fascinating. To my horror I soon discovered the truth. Not only was he communicating with this woman, who by the way is 22 years his junior, he was also 'tarting' with other women.
I sent this woman a personal message on the forum and informed her that it was my husband she was communicating with. She replied that she didn't know he was married. It wasn't just the chat, they were leaving soppy music links on the forum for each other as well. His mobile phone was stuck to his hand as if it was glued there (yet another clue I should have picked up on!).
How to track your partner's web browsing habits - easy as 1, 2, 3....
I confronted my husband and told him that the affair had to stop. He admitted what he was doing was out of order and that he would stop. He has even told her he loves her on this forum, how sad is that. I found a piece of paper with an email address and password (not his usual email address), so I logged on to see. Low and behold, there was only one contact. I decided that enough was enough and gave him a choice our marriage or her.
He made no effort to save our marriage, didn't apologise for what he had done and of course he did not stop. Well that was it of course, end of marriage. So basically he has given up a relationship of over eleven years for a woman he has not even met yet!
Five hours after I told him the marriage was over and we would have to sell our home, he was on his mobile for over an hour and half discussing with this woman their next move. It seems she is going to move over 800 miles to be with him, and THEY HAVEN'T EVEN MET!!
How can she trust him when he has told so many lies...
When he finally told me the truth, after so many lies, he admitted that it had been going on since September and he thought I would not find out. He also told her at one point that we had separated. I think they are both deluded. How can she trust him, when he has told so many lies to me and her?
I have been in complete turmoil because I was so devastated. I have cried for England, have been through the 'fog' and have now at least come out the other side. I am now looking forward to the house being sold so I can move on and get on with my life. SHE IS WELCOME TO HIM!
By: Trodden on wife
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God men are rats! Well some are. Others are just plain gullible and put up with nightmare wives, ruining friendships because of them. And the rest, well, I guess we need to hang on to them ladies!
Leave him.
My husband gave his personal details to someone at work, he says she's a friend but I've never heard of her. Then she sent him a message saying: "Hi ............, you haven't emailed me lately - I love you." I was bloody fuming. Is this an email from a friend someone I've never heard of. He quickly took the phone off me and deleted her details. In fact he ran upstairs with his mobile and deleted all his call history.
The hardest bit is when every instinct you have is telling you it is going on but you can't prove it without being dragged down to their level and snooping. We should be able to trust them if indeed they are adults and not 14 year old boys looking for a thrill.
Seems to me that a lot of men in their 40's do this to feel better about themselves with the easiest ego stroke imaginable - delivered direct to their laptop or mobile phone.
I can't trust him anymore and am just waiting for 'next time' to happen - despite the protestations. If it was easier to leave then I would but lack of money etc. plays a part.
It is comforting in some way to know I am not the only one. I think they are making up for their sense of disappointment about themselves as if they say they are happy in their relationship then why else would they do this? Maybe most men just lie and cheat because it is all they know. Note I didn't say all men :)
Cheating is cheating however you frame it. They should get off their laptops and start putting effort in to their actual physical relationship instead. Maybe then they wouldn't feel so sad about their lives?
Bunny