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Ex's girlfriend is jealous and insecure

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I am fed up with my ex's girlfriend's jealousy of our little girl, and of the past that he and I shared.  My ex was ultimately responsible for walking out on his child (he had an affair), but this woman has done everything in her power to take my child's father from her and has finally succeeded in my view.  I'm concerned that many women out there disallow their boyfriends to maintain a proper relationship with their children out of insecurity.  I have discussed this with many people and find that I'm far from alone in thinking this.

This woman (my ex's girlfriend) was so worried about the possibility of my ex and I reconnecting that she made it extremely difficult for us to continue doing our child exchanges at each others home.  She was afraid of having to deal with me, even though she was the one who had the affair with my ex.  I was never mad at her for this.  I was mad at him, but for some reason or other this woman hates me!!!

She made numerous false reports to law enforcement agencies, along with my ex, because I refused to exchange our child in the street almost a mile away from their residence.  They said I created a scene, when in fact I refused to exchange other than at the house.  My ex's girlfriend demanded that I not be allowed at their home and my ex caved into this demand by lying to law enforcement to obtain reports, so that eventually he could seek a restraining order to keep me from the home.  This was all to please his girlfriend.  Never was my child's best interest a factor.

Kids toys My ex also stopped coming to our child's appointments because his girlfriend did not want him coming alone.  My boyfriend had no problem with this, because he was secure with my love.  My ex then filed false CPS charges to try and wrestle custody from me after his wages were docked for child support.  I understand that his girlfriend was furious that he did not have the same amount of money as when they began their affair during our relationship.  Now, my ex had a baby with this woman and he has stopped visiting any of his children (he has older children from an ex before me).

I understand that my ex's girlfriend has not wanted any of the children present, because she wanted her own family and my ex's full attention.  I am disgusted with the way these two are behaving.  Why do women seek relationships with men who already have children if they are so insecure?  They are destroying children's lives because of their own insecurities.


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Bruiger

Bruiger

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26th Dec 17 14:05

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0
Lamini

Lamini

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Lamini
25th Aug 14 23:22

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0
pixie

pixie

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pixie
16th Jan 12 15:29

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-21
cazza

cazza

yes I have the same problem,my ex had a affair they now have a 6 month baby my ex still see my 6year old and 4 year old every other weekend .my 6 year old want to see more of his dad I tell my ex but he just repies and says I have ni more time. I feel so sad 4 my son .
cazza
19th Jan 11 23:41

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-21
angry

angry

My view as a whole of society is that single parents ,for whatever reason that their single, is that
females have the children during the week, males on the weekend.
This means that I cannot have a real relationship with my partner during the week , as partner has children from exes during the week and I have a child from a ex on the weekend, as well as from a deceased spouse every day.
This is a very hard relationship for kids , partners , me.
She makes me feel like a bad parent, a bad partner, and wants to be out with her single mates at the weekend, she is almost a pensioner age.
I do not have any friends as I always have kids to look after and abandoned every weekend except for the kids.
I just want to be 1 happy family not 3 different families at different times and deprived off an adult
relationship.
I see her children yet she has a problem with mine, I had all these children before I met her.
What is the problem ?
angry
13th Nov 10 19:18

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Kiki Lemieux

Kiki Lemieux

Wow Miss Bella, sounds like you are extremely intelligent.
Kiki Lemieux
1st Nov 10 22:29

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spiteful stbx spouse

spiteful stbx spouse

New girlfriends, new wives or new whatever, if you choose to be with a individual that already has or had a family, then expect to deal with the drama. It's their problem not yours and back the heck off. As a spiteful stbx spouse, I would not want any other woman getting all up in my business. These are our kids and it doesn't matter if your feelings are hurt or you get any respect. You knew the situation when you venture yourself into his life. My concern would be my kids and my kids only, are you for real, support for new partners, get real! I am spiteful because of women doing the exactly same thing after committing adultrey with my spouse.
spiteful stbx spouse
28th Sep 10 20:25

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Gumby Slayer

Gumby Slayer

Yes ex's girlfriends are very insecure like Missy Bella. Perhaps she needs an education on laws. Check out DOR child support guidlines. When you get with someone who has children from an ex. You knew Missy Bella so it is us moms protecting and fighting for our children. They come first always.
Gumby Slayer
6th Feb 10 02:20

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-7
Missy bella

Missy bella

I am the exes girlfriend u talk about and u dnt realise how hard it is for us women moaning and groaning ex wife wanting money wanting help etc ure fella left you for a reason not for u to use the kid as some sort of pawn, u lot open ure eyes see it from the other side I often wonder what I'm doing with a man who had a kid with a women he didn't love and he married her to stupidly!!!!! So stop moaning and wear protection unless ure sure
Missy bella
6th Dec 09 17:52

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-7
Lily

Lily

This is very sad, and it is unacceptable that he doesn't see his chilren, that taken as read, then can I ask you a question?

Has your behaviour in any way contributed to this situation? I am sure you want to say no - but please take a moment to think about it properly.

My OH has an ex who has "reasonable explanations" for all of her hurtful, controlling and damaging behaviour and if my OH tries to explain his point of view - he is not showing her respect that she is due as the mother of his children.

We would love to have a better relationship wiht her for the sake of the children - but she makes it impossible!
Lily
2nd Dec 09 14:39

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-8
Steph

Steph

I'd quite like to give my point of view.. not as a parent, not as the 'other woman', but as the child, stuck in the middle of all this. Because yes, when my parents divorced, I was that child.

My mum quickly found a new man who my father hated, and my dad quickly found a new wife. My stepmum did not like me, perhaps due to jealousy that my dad wanted to spend time with me and she was being reminded of my dad's previous love. My dad hated my mum, and would constantly moan about her to me, and my mum hated my dad, constantly saying he was unreliable and a rubbish father.

I was put on the spot so many times, torn between loyalty to my mum and loyalty to my dad. I ended up hating all four of my parents, for constantly making me choose who I 'loved more'. Even worse, I was an only child so had to do this all alone without a brother or sister to help me.

I had to deal with this, confused and isolated, as a 6 year old girl.

It made my life difficult and now I'm having counselling for jealousy and self-esteem issues.

During break ups, parents really need to think about their children's feelings, rather than selfishly just doing what is best for themselves. Parents brought a baby boy or baby girl into the world, it is their responsibility as a couple (whether they are physically together or not) to give that child the best life they can have.
Steph
25th Nov 09 12:50

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Lottie

Lottie

How come you all know so much about your exes new partners? I can only assume that you quizz your kids about what goes on between them. Doesn't that make you just as bad?

I don't know much about my husbands ex, don't want to, not intrested, oh yes I know who she is, when her birthday is (kids out it on the calendar) but that's about it. I don't my husband or the kids.
Lottie
6th Aug 09 16:12

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me me

me me

its all very well sayin 'blame the bio parent' but when the new girlfriend decides the throw a tantrum and make it difficult for her new spouse to see his kids thats bang out of order!!
''sorry for the rant, at the end of my tether'' youde have been better off staying out of hat situation, that girl was bought into the world by her mother and father, who are you tryin to kid by playing the absent parent in this childs life? no wonder the mother is frustrated with your interferance, possitive input or not you should leave your boyfriend to make his own mind up. and if he does choose to let go of his daughter then its upto you whether you want to remain in a relationship with such an imature irresponcable boy!!!
me me
5th Aug 09 17:52

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Julie

Julie

I also have awful problems like yours ( and have done for many yrs) My ex husband is with a woman who is obsessed with me and uses my children to try and gain as much information about me as possible. I would put it down to her being so insecure and the fact that their relationship has been based on lies and deceit for many yrs,
I wonder how I,ve not had a mental breakdown caused by the stress and trauma this woman has caused me..( I, like yourself, did no wrong and wonder what I,ve done to deserve all this)
I,ve been alone for 8yrs since I discovered my husbands affair with this woman - may I add they are not married and do not legally live together - and she suffers from an eating disorder therfore can't have children of her own.
I can't help you but can only let you know you're not the only person with similar problems.
Julie
4th Aug 09 15:42

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-8
sad and angry

sad and angry

@openyoureyes - so true!

@sorry for the rant - calm down! I get what youre saying and that's not fair either - same position here and it sucks, but have faith - if your conscience is clear than let the childish mother blame you for her shortcomings. that's what i'm learning to do - and at least I can sleep at night cos it's not my fault.

i think there is too much bitterness directed at new partners, and it is all too easy to blame them when in actual fact it;s the bio parents' conduct with each other which has caused a break. spare a thought for what the new partners might be going through trying to keep it all together, and don't blame them just cos theyre there.
sad and angry
29th Jul 09 14:21

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