40 comments Add a comment
It riles me that all absent fathers are seen as the bad guy when there are always two sides to a story. My husband's ex-girlfriend dated him to win a bet she had with her friends, she already had a boyfriend and wanted a baby regardless of what she had to do to get it, such as lying about taking the pill. These are all facts she later admitted to.
She got pregnant and when the baby was born he was forced to move into a house with her; a house which he worked nights to pay for and he was only 18 at the time. After a year he left and was refused access to his daughter until a private agreement was made favouring his ex-girlfriend.
Three times he was refused parental responsibility because as far as his ex-girlfriend was concerned the child was hers but when she snapped her fingers he had to go running or she would deny him access.
For 10 years he paid maintenance, bought clothing, gave pocket money and money for school trips; to name but a few of the financial payouts all equating to thousands of pounds without a single argument or complaint.
Then one day he hurt his back at work, had to give up his job and at the same time found out that I was pregnant. When he told his ex that he did not have any money she did not even grant him the grace of a week to sort anything out before going to the CSA.
He is now branded as a deadbeat absent father because he doesn't pay maintenance due to staying at home to look after our baby while I work full time to support us. We would not be able to afford to live if we both worked due to outrageous maintenance payments, child care costs and very little governmental help.
My husband was forced into this situation and has paid for his ex's deceit while she has had an easy ride. Id understand it if he had been stupid and had known he was taking a risk but his only crime was to be young, naive and trusting.