CSA mistake leads to family break up

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I can't believe how many similar stories about the way parents are being treated by the CSA there are on here, and although reading them makes me feel like at least it isn't only us, it also makes me realise that this is never going to end and I wonder if the CSA will be pleased with themselves if they break up another family because of their stupidity and the mistakes they make.

As with other peoples' stories on here, mine is very similar.  I met my husband when I had a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship and he had a 5 year old son.  Maintenance was sorted out between my husband and his ex in a verbal agreement and everything was fine until we bought a nice house in a nice area.  At that point she suddenly saw $ signs.  If we could afford to live where we did she 'obviously' should be getting more money.  After threats and using their son as a pawn he eventually told her to contact the CSA.  When the CSA got back to us and said we'd been paying too much because of how often he stayed, other children living with us etc.  she was livid and asked if they could go back to their old arrangement.  That was a very satisfying conversation as we always knew we had gone above and beyond the call of duty.

It didn't last long though, because after a year of paying what the CSA had calculated they wrote to us saying they had got it wrong and we had to pay a large arrears payment immediately.  My husband rang them and explained we had no way of getting that kind of money.  After taking months to get back to us we were now in arrears upon arrears, with no way of paying.

My husband was self-employed and had built up a company over seven years.  When the credit crunch hit he struggled for a long time and eventually the business went into liquidation.  He has now received a court summons for nearly 3,000.  He has spent the last year trying to start again as there are very few jobs out there and as it ias we've struggled to pay for the children we have together.  We are also in arrears with our mortgage, council tax and utility bills etc.  Both our families have been helping us out with money and taking us to the supermarket to make sure there is food in our cupboards!

During all this his ex and her partner have bought a new house, been on holidays abroad, planning to get married and are now having a new baby.  I guess all the money will come in nicely for their wedding cake and new pram!  It has been a hard year for my husband and I and we are on the verge of splitting up due to the added pressure put on us by the CSA.  Currently they are the main cause of most of our arguments and because of them, the two children we have together will suffer as will our whole family unit.

My husband has always looked after and provided for his son and is a wonderful dad.  We have taken him on holiday, bought school uniform, school shoes, paid for school trips and he stays Friday, Saturday and Sunday every other week.  He stays with me in the school holidays for days sometimes weeks on end so his mum can go to work and doesn't have to pay childcare.  All our children get along tremendously and now all this is to be ruined because the CSA made a mistake and miscalculated.

I hope my husband and I can get through all this, but we shall see what the court case brings.  If all the gripes on here are are anything to go by, not very much!  If we do end up going our separate ways there is one thing for sure, I WILL NOT be contacting the CSA for help with maintenance for our children.  They are downright useless and have a hell of a lot to answer for.

By: Kates

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akashine

Genesis you should get a shared care element in your payments, so you pay less because of your travel to see your kids, and the fact you have them over night. they wont offer it unless you ask for it

06/10/13 akashine

1

Genesis

Hello

I am a parent (father) and I have paid my CSA on time every month since the case was opened.

I have always sent my salary slips to the CSA if they ask and / or if I had a pay increase so that I was paying the correct amount

I see my children every 2 weeks - would d0 more but they live 70 miles away - and I go for them on the Friday and take them home on the Sunday - so I do almost 300 miles every 2 weeks.

I feed and cloth them and buy birthday and Christmas presents as well as take them on holiday and ask for no money from their mum

the weekends I don't see them I am working

the csa have just decided to back date their calculations to march 2012 - 1 and a half years ago and now want arrears of over £1000 and a monthly increase on almost £100 despite my constant communication with them re my income.

I already have £200 more going out than coming in

I totally agree with the concept of the csa

but they have never and cannot confirm what the funds I send are being used for

by the way - their mum takes delivery of here 63 reg car this week (my car is 10 years old)

good old csa - getting it wrong consistently for almost 20 years

09/09/13 Genesis

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Dee

Hi Kates , isee you have 2 children with him and she has 1, i agree with Tullulah. At the moment if you have 3 children living with you ( you say you have one of your own) the csa have to overlook 25% of his wage for your children, (they dont count anymore than 3 children on this)they then give the ex 15% of what is left of his wage as it is 15% for the first child,20% for 2 children and 25% for 3 OR MORE children. BUT if you split DO contact the csa. they will deduct 25% of his wage for all his children from his full wage so she will get one third of this and you get two thirds! you could give him yr share bk cash in hand to him if you dont want to take it but but the ex will get less. this is even better if the two of you have more children befor you spilt cause living together you will only get to keep 25% of your wage regardless of how many children you have. If you have say 6 children and she has one and split he would still have to pay 25% for 7 children meaning that it is spilt evenly per child she would only get one seventh of this and you would get six sevenths. I know a couple that could not afford to live together because they had too many children between them and he had to give 20% of his wage to his ex for her 2 children. He moved out so she had to claim benifit and csa from him. this ment the ex had less maintenance ( 2 shares of 25%) the couple have not split he stays at thier old home 3 nights a week as a boyfriend and they now have more money between them. It makes me mad mind that it pays to be a single womanon benifits as i didnt know this when i was single and bringing up a toddler arrangeing child care while i worked my socks off and missed out on my child, while her father paid nothing! Im still working and i know my tax`s go towards benifits for my new partners ex who never worked, and he also has to pay maintenance ( they take 15% out coz we have a child living with us then she gets 15% of the rest) so if we have lots of kids then perhaps we would be better off "spiltting up" till his ex`s child is 19! thats how the csa make people feel like behaving! we dont work our socks of to pay for her to go out every weekend and smoke drugs , then sit on her bum all week! she`s an evil piece of work!

01/05/13 Dee

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Mouse

CSA split up my family after taking £500 two months in a row out of a £1000 wage as they decided he should pay all of backpay in 2 payments meaning me and our 2 kids suffered, He works all week away with the military so my kids are not only without their dad all week but then to have all his wage taken to support another family really put a strain on us especially when im now left to pay rent arrears cause of this, I cant afford to live with him anymore and watch mine go without! How can one child need £500 a month worst thing is neither of us have even seen this child cause she wont let us meet him!!

05/11/12 Mouse

-7

Talullah

Sorry to hear this. unfortunately the same thing has happened to me and my soon to be ex. I can nolonger stand the emotional torture the csa and his money grabbing ex have put on us both emotionally as well as financially I have spent the past 10 months in tears. I am 5 months pregnant but will have the last laugh at his ex. You see I will report him to the csa (not because I hate him and we cant agree on a figure), I have told him this and he agrees. Its because his ex's csa payment will be split with my twins and she will get less money from my soon to be ex as I will get 2/3s of the payment. serves her right thats all I can say!! People can gripe at what Ive said but if you knew the torment and pressure that thing put on our relationship and pregnancy you would agree too. She doesnt care about their son its all about the money with her and always has been as its never spent on the child!!.

31/01/12 Talullah

-14

Anonymous

Hello everyone. I could do with some unbiased advice.

A friend of mine has been divorced for almost 7 years and from the relationship she has two children, one 7 and one 9. Her ex has intermittently paying £70 per month and only missing payments when he has to buy them things. He has access every other weekend and holidays. My friend used to live quite close to her ex so that she can drop the children at his house. She has now moved about 100 miles north and her ex is not very happy about it. He is trying to get her to do all the travelling to drop the children at his house, saying he can't travel because of a bad back. although he can travel on a coach to Wembley to watch football and stand in the pub for hours watching football while he's drinking. He has a good job as a bank manager. He is now threatening to stop all payments for his children. My question is this.... What's the best way to get him to financially support his own children, doe's she report him to the CSA?. I dough he realises the cost of bringing up children. I know that my friend has accumulated a lot of debt because of her children's needs....

Any suggestions would be appreciated...

24/12/11 Anonymous

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Mummyblues

Another estranged parent, CSA gripe. My ex partner and father of my 2 children refuses to pay maintenance. he works cash in hand whilst signing on. he's a musician, working hard but on a project which doesn't pay, when I get fed up of supporting our 2 children single-handedly I am told to be more 'supportive' of his goals or that he did what i wanted when we were together, now it's his time, his life and he will do what he wants... how difficult to even reason with such an arrogance. it's why we are not together. 6 months ago i reported him to the benefit fraud department, my csa payments are capped at £3.54 a week yes £3.54 for 3 children, as he signs on and doesn;t declare his income which is around 1000-1500 a month, so not a lot but enough to pay the £100 a month i asked for and he agreed to when we separated. Do i now just drop the matter altogether and do without his contribution? I work 4 days a week and run a home, also am training to be a teacher so that i can be with the children during the holidays (they are both under 3). I feel there is not much I can do but let the matter go for peace of mind, it's hard not to be resentful some days when he allows himself the luxury of a labour of love, while i work hard to give our children a decent future. When i raise the subject of money, i am usually called materialistic and granted, i dont need the pittance I ask for but these are his children too and I feel he should share the responsibility. He doesn;t see it that way at all. Wits end.. any advice??

24/12/11 Mummyblues

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HAPYBUNNYNOT

Please remember the CSA is a parasite. Their remit is to keep their jobs at the tax payers expense regardless of how useless they perform.

13/12/11 HAPYBUNNYNOT

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Fedup

So sorry for the hell you are going through. CSA like most government departments is a slab like monolith of highly paid public servants with their fingers in their ears never listening, no imagination and as arrogant as sin. Not sure what if any answer there is to these problems certainly there is a lot of misandry by the people in these departments. Hope somehow things can get sorted out. Worth perhaps trying to get a journalist involved?

13/12/11 Fedup

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kayet

oh yes the CSA ..answerable to nobody except their own internal complaints department ...i would say one thing if they give you a court date make the effort to attend , if its the other end of the country as they tend to do with court appearances write to the court and ask for it to be moved locally and attend , take a statement of incomings and outcomings and have your say in a court, agree nothing with them outside a courtroom!! Recently saw a gentlemen in court given a DEO for £50 a month when the CSA were after £500 a month , they will do anything to try and stop you going into a courtroom with them because at that point they do not win , your current living circumstances have to be taken into account in a court of law , they are never taken into account at any other point by the CSA ..i am by the way one of the lucky second wives who have had their lives destroyed by the CSA

13/12/11 kayet

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