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Ex lied to the CSA about her income

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I'm a single father with one child aged 12.  I was on income support for 7 years but recently returned to work, not that I'm any better off!  Never mind that.

My gripe is about child maintenance.  My ex has been paying the minimum amount in maintenance (£5 a week) all this time.  She told me (and the CSA) that she was self-employed running her own delivery business.  That's probably how she managed to keep her payments so low, by paying herself a minimum wage.

I never wanted her help financially, and I managed well enough without it until my child got older and needed more things such as clothes, food, and pocket money, and more money for out of school activities, etc.  It was then that the utility bills started piling up.  Things have been pretty tough money wise, and I'm not in control of my finances anymore.

My ex lives a fairly good lifestyle.  Nice house, nice car.  That's never really bothered me either.  She doesn't buy our child any clothes or things, none that he is allowed to bring back to my house anyway (I know.  It's so petty!) and she only has sleepovers for about 60 days a year.  But she is able to pay for the sort of treats that I can't afford.  like games, expensive food, days out, holidays etc.

However, by coincidence I found myself talking to a mutual friend and discovered that my ex also has a full time job with a good salary , and all this time without informing the CSA.  I now know that she has withheld her true income from them, and it's a massive difference of about £30,000 a year.

Money on the table I was worried about informing the CSA of this news because I knew my ex could be facing serious trouble, and this would have a knock-on effect with my child.  Yes, I think about things too much!  So I sought advice from another friend who had no problem taking the matter out of my hands, and they wrote to the CSA on my behalf giving them all the details they needed.  I had to verify it by phone call.

A few days later my ex called to tell me that the CSA had written her, and she was angry and inevitably blamed me for.  I denied the charge (mostly true) but reminded her that it was her duty to inform the CSA of any changes to her income, not mine.  She threatened to tell our child exactly what I've done (?????).

I'm now waiting to see what happens.  I don't have my hopes up too much.  My ex has evaded the CSA for so long, maybe she'll find another way.

I want to finish this gripe by explaining how sad I am that it has come to this.  I'm actually really bloody distraught.  I haven't left my house in a week and I can't sleep.  I find it so difficult to believe that she would do this to us, and has purposefully made my life so difficult for so long.  I don't know how long the CSA will take to investigate this.  I've been advised to call them in three months.  I'm also worried about all the extra negativity that this is going to create between me and my ex, and our child.  I just hope that whatever new system this government puts in place, it solves this problem of easy evasion, and speeds up the whole calculation and payment process.

By: RomanReloaded


Leave a comment

Mike

Mike

No marmalade

I do not have a stutter

do you have a problem with people who do have speech impediments ?

If so - take it elsewhere - no one is interested
Mike
16th Jul 14 20:52

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marmalade

marmalade

Dead and buried can always be relied upon to deliver an elegant turn of phrase.
marmalade
16th Jul 14 16:28

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smiler

smiler

The csa told me because my evil ex had only been in work five months,the could only award me £14 a week told them to forget it my son is just 3,and evil earns £350 a week plus bonuses no rent to pay nothink how can that be right get rid of csa
smiler
12th Jun 14 09:56

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Mark

Mark

Why did you breed with such a vile woman in the first place? The pleasure of an ejaculation without condom is clearly not worth so much trouble afterwards. I should suggest all men start using FleshLight[TM] and the like.
Mark
28th Jun 13 11:27

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toby

toby

these women are b*tches. I don't understand why this stupid country supports women all the time, they get the full custody, they get all the benefits, they get free flats, and what do us fathers get, ? WE GET THESE NASTY FU**KING CSA people chasing us fathers for money.

I would love to get on the media and say that enough is enough and this has to change in this country. Now I understand why Asian , middle eastern countries give all the rights to men, because they these women are bit*hes
toby
25th May 13 09:04

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StaunchFeminist

StaunchFeminist

Sounds like a typical woman, take, take, take! If the shoe was on the other foot I guarantee "it" would take you for every penny "it" could. They're not called c*mcatcher's for nothing you know
StaunchFeminist
1st May 12 16:39

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AtMarsh

AtMarsh

@Marsh

The poster does work and he says so in his first paragraph. I could argue about how difficult it is to work and raise a child on your own, but I don't think you can handle too many details can you Marsh?

I agree that the CSA is a burden on the taxpayer, but it exists because of the irresponsible individuals like the mum mentioned above. If you have a crystal ball and can see into the future, maybe you can use your magic skills and make sure that no more children are born to couples who are going to split up. I leave that to you to figure out.

So what book would you throw at these people? The Encyclopaedia of Anonymous Internet Misanthropy? Sadly, you wouldn't be able to even lift it.

But if (I should say 'when' not 'if') you or your children are in need, I would gladly pay a portion of my wages to help you. Kill yourself or go and live in another country if you don't want my help, because I'm a taxpayer too, and I contribute to the state and to the well-being of the whole population, including you.

Or I'll send you my bank details and you can give me a refund.
AtMarsh
15th Apr 12 16:52

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Marsh

Marsh

I'd throw the book at both of you. Why the hell should you breed and expect the taxpayer ultimately to pay for your offspring. There are jobs, your ex probably has found one or more. If you took a responsible caring attitude towards your child or children the CSA would not be involved and the public would not have such a burden.
Stop whining and get on with it. If it is tough then live with it.
Marsh
14th Apr 12 17:28

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RJAN

RJAN

Goes to show, male or female makes no difference. It's too easy for non resident parents to avoid the CSA. But she should have been more responsible so don't feel bad for her if she gets into trouble. Personally I hope they throw the book at her.
RJAN
5th Mar 12 10:16

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