Why are English people so cold and unfriendly?

Talking to a Zimbabwe black man at work today about the snow, he has been here five years, and this years amount of snow is something he has never seen before, a bit of a surprise for him, but I can remember it being like this every year in the seventies, we had an interesting talk,

One or two racist people here may give you the impression that we are all racist, this is not the case, and certainly not me, it's the white indigneous population who deliberatly won't go out to work for years that gets me, living on a council estate I see the real picture.

they are the same with me - and I am english!! thats why I moved to the USA... you are spot on with your assessment...

Gainsborough Lad, I can understand they would complain. But yet again, foreigners also live in SA and it sucks. I don't like it one bit. I think its the reason some of us move away. Its safer in your country and because we like it there. Just a pity British don't like us there then.

Sherise, there are some racist people in this country, I am not one of them, after all, we are all the same species, albeit some a different colour.

Some of the brittish complain about the number of forigners here, but are free to go and live in a lot of other countries if they please.

Zvezda, I myself am looking to relocate to the UK. Im from South Africa. But my friends that have lived there also say British aren't very friendly people. I thought its because the sun never shines!

Anyway, I enjoyed reading your post. It pretty much makes sense.

Betina,

I would like the name of the imbecile that allowed you access to IT equipment.

Your scribble can't be called English as this would be a major insult. God only knows what it is.

A lot of it is down to the individual. I have lived all over the world and met thousands of people and always had a great time with everybody. Charisma, and what type of character you are. Have great charisma as this will open doors for you. It's always helped me along in life.

I think this probably depends very much on where you live in the country and who you meet. London or example, like most capital cities, will be very different than living in a friendlier city like Manchester. The problem with most British people is that they have never really travelled, and in some parts of the country (like where I'm originally from) people have never left so they have never had to experience being out on their own and having to make new friends. I'm living in France at the moment and its exactly the same but I think its just something that comes from being from a reserved western culture. As British people we constantly think (although it might not seem that way) about how best not to offend people by being rude and the problem with this is that it works both ways. Often we can be offended by behaviour that we construe as rude (i.e. if someone is very honest, very direct) and I can imagine that this is one of the biggest problems for a foreign person because these social rules are very hard to fathom. For example, it's considered extremely poor taste to brag...even being confident in your abilities can be considered bragging and this can be why we might be standoffish with foreigners who display this sort of confidence. We are naturally very self-deprecating. British people are also often scared of overstepping the boundaries which might explain why nobody invited you for coffee. Until I had lived abroad (Latin America, Russia) I wasn't even aware of this social minefield and I doubt that most British people are. I would suggest that the best way to get to a Brit's heart is learn their etiquette and sense of humour. We communicate a lot of our affection through our sarcastic humour and its one of the keystones of most people's social interaction.
Plus, as for always being considered foreign, this can be for anyone whose different be it northern/southern etc/manc/geordie/french!

The trouble is, we English are so uptight that we can barely get to know each other, never mind foreigners. To be properly sociable we have to be drunk nearly to the point of unconsciousness. The problem is more like extreme shyness than a dislike of foreigners. The problem is a morbid fear of offending other people, not a dislike of other people. Having said that, I've heard the exact same gripe from English people about Italians, and Italians are not known for being cold! So maybe moving to another country is just hard for anyone.

People are people wherever you go, it is a total myth really this article and the stereotypes. It depends on lots of little individual factors. People are animals with a high intelligence. People are all so different and individual. Hate is a big animal instinct and once we get a stupid idea in our head we are very reluctant to change it. The human race will always invent stupid stereotypes but in reality everyone a animal and some people are less developed than others emotionally. Intelligent people can control their animal instinces of hate, jealousy but stupid people can't, stupid people cause all the problems for all us rational, calm people who can see the bigger picture

ps. cant we as a human race just stop focusing on origin and just see individuals for who they are??? we should be way past this as a race by now....sorry for the rant, that is all. x

It really does depend I really hate it when forign people talk about us english people in that way, that is probably one reason why we are so weary of forigners another reason is, is because most english people really like to make friends when there younger and find it very hard to make friends when we are older. We like to know people who we can trust and being forign makes that hard. Personaly as a teenager I like to make new friends but I understand most adults dont find it easy unless the other person offers to go out somewhere etc

it really depends where you are, to be honest. I'm sorry you found us so aloof; we do tend to foster a real suspicion of new people I'm afraid.
The Northern regions tend to be regarded as friendlier, although of a lower class. The Southern regions are less friendly but have more money, etc - although, these are all stereotypes based on my own experiences.
I'm English, born but not bred (French and Spanish family). I moved to a different shire when I was about ten, and I found it very difficult to integrate - and I was born here! We do seem to stick to our little "cliques", I'm afraid.
Once I'd learnt the new shire's sayings and mannerisms I got along swimmingly. I'm in a little clique right now myself, as it happens.I certainly wouldn't invite anyone to join, but that's because I consider those people to be my "inner circle" of friends - they know everything about me. Most people choose their friends as teenagers, and stick with them for decades. If you're trying to make friends with older people, chances are they've already settled and you could be trying to get into a relationship ten or more years too late!
We latch onto people and don't let go, and we don't like to feel "pushed out". I think that's probably why you had difficulties. :(

Bullpoo. Us English are one of the most friendly people you will come across. Why should weh ave asked you for a cup of coffee? You could of invited us to your place. Your argument is weak, I'm sorry but you get all different people everywhere and just calling English cold is pretty harsh and racist.

Get a grip Polly- my friends are constantly gossiping about me, about how old I am at 37, about my sexuality (that's right I am a gay) and about my funny little beard. It gets deep into my psyche but I soldier on in my yellow jumper.