Why are English people so cold and unfriendly?

Dear Andypandy,
Thank you for posting your question. As a foreign female from a colder area of the globe I thought my answer might be somewhat helpful.
First of all, as a very suspicious person by nature, I wonder if you are actively trolling us here. In case you are not a troll, I, as a foreigner, would like to share with you my own experience with Britons (English and Scottish, mostly). I had a case when an English lady told me off for being too stand-offish. I had an experience when an English girl lost her temper because I wouldn't reveal any personal information. In Scotland they are pretty much pi..ed off by mee too. The proud Scots (mostly men) keep telling me to smile and think I am grumpy. (In fact, I am quite happy overall). They called me a "snob" – many, many times. (I have no idea why. Maybe because I listen to classic music and refuse to put up with rap? Maybe because I refuse to watch the X-Factor)? When Britons try to strike a friendship with me, I secretly question their motives. "What do they want from me"? As an introvert I declined quite a few invitations because I'd rather stay at home and create my artworks. So how can I, a true, hard boiled Ice Queen complain about Britons being cold? I feel rather comfortable with them. They, mostly, mind their own business. I even love some of them (secretly, of course). The only times I feel uncomfortable around Brits (Scottish or English) is when they automatically assume that I am Polish. (And no, I am not, and I have never been anywhere near Poland in my dear life). But then again, Spaniards do exactly the same. They called me "una Polaca" which is very annoying.
Kind regards,
The Ice Queen

If you don’t like us you know where the door is

P,s, I wish some of these people would pick-up a descent history book and read it. May I suggest you start pre-the birth of Christ and look at the amazing Persians. It was thanks to them that we still have the works of Socrates. I can sympathise with the feelings of native English people, they have been overwhelmed by migrants that the taxpayers can’t afford. However, if I was Spanish, I would hate the English. They have turned up in their country, demanded eggs and bacon, brought all the houses as holiday homes, and are basically arrogant and insensitive. If you are reading this and are not happy about the migrants that have arrived in England, spare a thought for Costa Del Soul. By the way, I am English and find most UK holidaymakers overseas embarrassing. Bovine unattractive and rude. You can’t complain about migrants and then go and shit in everyone else is country when on holiday.

Lol, I am a English lady who left for Sydney Australia aged 19. I came on a working visa and feel in love with the place. Australians thought I was ‘cold fish’ and it took me years to overcome my reserved nature and start smiling at people I don’t know, and even saying Hi. Every time I come back to England I am struck by how cold people are. I walk into a shop and smile and say hello, and get that “ I’ll know it’s another happy Australian “. Speaking from the position of an English born person, it’s generational. It is in our culture not to add your dirty linen, and being too friendly is seen as insincerity, or worse still American. As for not excepting foreigners, I think that is so in trenched in our culture, that nobody is aware they are doing it. England is the most warlike nation on earth. We pretend to be the centre of civilisation yet no country has a track record of invasions like we do. We have historically surpassed the Romans. You cannot produce millions of mindless fighters without making them believe in the superiority of their country and culture. This cannot be wiped in a few generations. In addition, I feel that the governments have tried to overcompensate by being a little bit too multicultural, without considering the feelings of the natives. There was a lot of resentment about new arrivals getting housing and Benifits who never paid taxes, while others were sitting on the waiting list with no hope of a home. The country cannot afford the amount of migrants that are arriving, And it has caused it deep resentment. Public-housing has got so bad it’s third world. Look at that block that that burnt down. The tragedy was that they were the lucky ones that got housed. Being overly politically correct and understanding towards certain migrants has caused ghettos. In some parts of England the signposts are in foreign languages and people were native feel pushed out and resentful. Children of other religions go to separate schools and that causes the divisions as adults. There has been little attempt by the government to encourage simulation because of political correctness. This of course is only one side of the story, but it is one that I am qualified to offer. I’m not impressed by it either, hence I live in Australia. The thing that I am most disgusted by is the class system. It has nothing to do with how much money you earn, but what school you went to. Once you are working class you will always be working class, and people with Twinkie accents really do believe that the blood is of a higher quality. They think it’s okay to look at you like some think they found between their toes. When they do that to me in England I stare them down. It really is disgusting.
Liz

I’m an Englishman and my experience with British people is very mixed. In my work in the construction industry I seem to attract a certain degree of uncomfortable ridicule on a regular basis...lots of people are quite cold with me too.

I think the main issue for me is that I speak with a posh accent (that basically means I sound middle class) but am working class. Also, I don’t care for football (aka soccer). I’m a polite and softly spoken person too. These kinds of things have led to me not fitting in, some people aren’t particularly kind and they openly ridicule me in front of other people. Some people say it’s just banter but it’s unkind and disrespectful and undermines me in several ways. I often feel embarrassed, uncomfortable and upset...and the people who do this to me simply do not care for my feelings.

Outside of work I find people who are middle classed are a little friendlier to me. I’m sure that if I loved lager and getting drink a lot, liked going on holiday to Blackpool and Benidorm, spoke with a more regional accent and followed West Brom FC I’d be better off with working class people.

Also, I’ve lived in a few different parts of England and people in Derbyshire seem to be the most racist/unwelcoming of strangers, but that’s just my personal experience and it’s with people who are usually 40 or 50+.

YES JAPANESE ARE THE COLDEST IN THIS WORLD!!!
NEVER COME BACK HERE AND DIE YOU ALL BY THE STUPID COVID!!!

Bugger off

I am British born and have many friends from all over the world, my husband was also born abroad and has been here for nearly 20 years and has many english friends.
Try living in Spain - that is real racism - took parents at my child’s school 3 years to even say hello to me! I would say hi to them and invite them to the park but they would never come, only the other foreigners spoke to me!

I live in London so maybe smaller towns in the UK are not as open minded as London ???

True

I am British and have lived in five different British cities and also lived in Germany, France and Italy for seven years as I worked for an international business. I would say the British are much more reserved than German people who are very friendly. Italians are about the same as the British, the French are colder than the British though. In Britain class decides nearly everything and if you’re a well educated foreigner most working class British people will ignore you.

Hey nick. The big difference is your own people have done that to you, not anyone else. But, like a typical Englishman, you will always blame a foreigner instead of your own people. Lost, utterly lost.

having read one nasty comment after another nasty comment, i hope you now know why english people hate foreigners. youre racists who claim you cant be cos only white people can be racists. we want to live in our own country and be left alone without a world of people pouring in and being as rude as possible about all we say and do and own. we never asked you to come and we know how much many of you smile in our faces and sneer about us behind our backs. your two faced. as for the racism, the whites and indians who lived in Africa had to leave one african country after the other due to black african racism, many white people in america and europe have been beaten and mugged by the completely non racist jamacians and black british and african american who claim ALL of us are slavetraders and kkk and racists. they are racists and thats the truth of it. we are not responsible for their failed marriages, their youth crime, drugdealing, black on black murders - that is all entirely their fault. it is not our job to provide education and jobs for them. they can open businesses for themselves. as for the british-pakistanis, some of them are law abiding and hardworking and honest but a good deal of them are violent racist drugdealing rapist. you tell me why any nation of people should allow a group of violent foreigners who hate and depise the local population in their country? yiu didnt tolerate us when we came to your countries and committed crimes, but you fought against us right? and werent you right to do so? well now our country is being colonised, our people are being insulted, our culture degraded and spat on, our women being raped. your the racist, and your the colonists and we need to kick you out

Brits are two-faced and Xenophobic. They’ll smile to your face and stab you in the back.

Fascinating thread. I was born in a former colony. I have an English father. I have lived in England in both small towns and in London for 20 years. Empire taught the English they were the centre of the world. The intense racial stratification practised during Empire, and the constant process of "othering" anything seen as foreign, has created a people stuck in a time warp, not understanding the world and why other people loathe the English. You see this from the remainer types to the leavers. "Why can't England be the way it used to be?" they all say. Some mean it as "why can't we be top dog again and bully other nations" while some mean it as "why can't we have the leftover change from Empire to rebuild a social democracy?" As Burroughs said, "England is like some stricken beast too stupid to know it is dead." It is a museum, situated on a large lawn (having destroyed most forests centuries ago to build a navy to oppress others), with some nukes parked to the side to make the English feel better about themselves. And the last point is why you end up giving up on English friendships. You spend most of the time propping up their sense of loss of identity, loss of international esteem, hearing the tired stories of how much England gave the world. You then realise in the English world that's all the foreigners are good for here: provide services, support, arse wiping and tax dollars or "sling your hook" as they say. There's no point in changing them: Empire defined them as a people, and makes them more and more miserable and filled with hatred and insecurities. They will state "fair play" as an English attribute but that is propaganda to hide the horrors of Empire, racism, war and the deeply iniquitous class system. They have no national anthem, no parliament, a legal system shared with Wales, little culture and are utterly divided between classes and between cities and the rest of the country. Fascinating to watch what happens after Empire as the former centre consumes itself. Grab the popcorn, folks!

I have had a similar experience. There’s a thing where when you come to a new place people have busy lives and it’s easier to break in with foreigners as you’re in the same boat. However, I would say that other cultures are more open, India is much warmer in my experience. Ireland too but not by a lot, we’re pretty insular, we’re just more chatty. Have found other cultures more closed though (Stockholm is ridiculous). Having said that I like the privacy I have in England, feel like I can do whatever I want and no one cares. It’s not like that in Ireland or India.