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Why are English people so cold and unfriendly?

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Why are English people so cold?  Perhaps this is the reason so many foreigners fail to integrate properly into society in the UK?  I am a foreigner totally grateful to the UK for giving me a passport (married to a Brit for 21 years) as the chances of being killed where I come from are pretty good.

However, in all the time I spent living in the UK (five years in total), although I'm blue-eyed, blonde and speak perfect English with just a 5% accent, I am always regarded as being foreign.  All my friends are foreign too mainly because we have come to realise we are all in the same boat.

My best friend is Swedish and has lived here in the UK for about 12 years.  Even after that length of time living in the UK she says I am still the only person who has ever invited her home for a coffee!

We're told we have to be patient and that it takes time for an English person to trust you (say four years of knowing you), but then once they are friends with you, they are the best friends in the world. Well, I'm afraid I've given up trying and hoping.

British  and european union flag in London you really don't want us to be here

Is it perhaps because your mothers never breast fed you and thus did not expose you to the first essential human warmth that we should all know?  Or is it because you really are all xenophobic and your government, in its multicultural tendencies has failed to realise this basic truth?  Perhaps it is just because you are SO polite, politically correct and you really don't want us to be here, so instead of telling us sincerely, you pretend to put up with us because you really don't want to become our friends?

Since first moving to the UK, I decided to move away again and have lived abroad for seven years.  During that time I have never failed to make friends with the locals, and quickly too.  So why are the English so aloof with foreigners?

By: Andypandy


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Danny

Danny

I’m an Englishman and my experience with British people is very mixed. In my work in the construction industry I seem to attract a certain degree of uncomfortable ridicule on a regular basis...lots of people are quite cold with me too.

I think the main issue for me is that I speak with a posh accent (that basically means I sound middle class) but am working class. Also, I don’t care for football (aka soccer). I’m a polite and softly spoken person too. These kinds of things have led to me not fitting in, some people aren’t particularly kind and they openly ridicule me in front of other people. Some people say it’s just banter but it’s unkind and disrespectful and undermines me in several ways. I often feel embarrassed, uncomfortable and upset...and the people who do this to me simply do not care for my feelings.

Outside of work I find people who are middle classed are a little friendlier to me. I’m sure that if I loved lager and getting drink a lot, liked going on holiday to Blackpool and Benidorm, spoke with a more regional accent and followed West Brom FC I’d be better off with working class people.

Also, I’ve lived in a few different parts of England and people in Derbyshire seem to be the most racist/unwelcoming of strangers, but that’s just my personal experience and it’s with people who are usually 40 or 50+.
27/06 Danny
1
Sir

Sir

YES JAPANESE ARE THE COLDEST IN THIS WORLD!!!
NEVER COME BACK HERE AND DIE YOU ALL BY THE STUPID COVID!!!
09/06 Sir
-2
Bruh

Bruh

Bugger off
28/05 Bruh
-3
Princesa

Princesa

I am British born and have many friends from all over the world, my husband was also born abroad and has been here for nearly 20 years and has many english friends.
Try living in Spain - that is real racism - took parents at my child’s school 3 years to even say hello to me! I would say hi to them and invite them to the park but they would never come, only the other foreigners spoke to me!

I live in London so maybe smaller towns in the UK are not as open minded as London ???
21/05 Princesa
0
STPro 2021

STPro 2021

True
14/05 STPro 2021
0
Pete

Pete

I am British and have lived in five different British cities and also lived in Germany, France and Italy for seven years as I worked for an international business. I would say the British are much more reserved than German people who are very friendly. Italians are about the same as the British, the French are colder than the British though. In Britain class decides nearly everything and if you’re a well educated foreigner most working class British people will ignore you.
11/04 Pete
0
Matter of Time

Matter of Time

Hey nick. The big difference is your own people have done that to you, not anyone else. But, like a typical Englishman, you will always blame a foreigner instead of your own people. Lost, utterly lost.
06/04 Matter of Time
2
nick

nick

having read one nasty comment after another nasty comment, i hope you now know why english people hate foreigners. youre racists who claim you cant be cos only white people can be racists. we want to live in our own country and be left alone without a world of people pouring in and being as rude as possible about all we say and do and own. we never asked you to come and we know how much many of you smile in our faces and sneer about us behind our backs. your two faced. as for the racism, the whites and indians who lived in Africa had to leave one african country after the other due to black african racism, many white people in america and europe have been beaten and mugged by the completely non racist jamacians and black british and african american who claim ALL of us are slavetraders and kkk and racists. they are racists and thats the truth of it. we are not responsible for their failed marriages, their youth crime, drugdealing, black on black murders - that is all entirely their fault. it is not our job to provide education and jobs for them. they can open businesses for themselves. as for the british-pakistanis, some of them are law abiding and hardworking and honest but a good deal of them are violent racist drugdealing rapist. you tell me why any nation of people should allow a group of violent foreigners who hate and depise the local population in their country? yiu didnt tolerate us when we came to your countries and committed crimes, but you fought against us right? and werent you right to do so? well now our country is being colonised, our people are being insulted, our culture degraded and spat on, our women being raped. your the racist, and your the colonists and we need to kick you out
01/04 nick
-15
Mickey Deams

Mickey Deams

Brits are two-faced and Xenophobic. They’ll smile to your face and stab you in the back.
10/03 Mickey Deams
5
Matter of Time

Matter of Time

Fascinating thread. I was born in a former colony. I have an English father. I have lived in England in both small towns and in London for 20 years. Empire taught the English they were the centre of the world. The intense racial stratification practised during Empire, and the constant process of "othering" anything seen as foreign, has created a people stuck in a time warp, not understanding the world and why other people loathe the English. You see this from the remainer types to the leavers. "Why can't England be the way it used to be?" they all say. Some mean it as "why can't we be top dog again and bully other nations" while some mean it as "why can't we have the leftover change from Empire to rebuild a social democracy?" As Burroughs said, "England is like some stricken beast too stupid to know it is dead." It is a museum, situated on a large lawn (having destroyed most forests centuries ago to build a navy to oppress others), with some nukes parked to the side to make the English feel better about themselves. And the last point is why you end up giving up on English friendships. You spend most of the time propping up their sense of loss of identity, loss of international esteem, hearing the tired stories of how much England gave the world. You then realise in the English world that's all the foreigners are good for here: provide services, support, arse wiping and tax dollars or "sling your hook" as they say. There's no point in changing them: Empire defined them as a people, and makes them more and more miserable and filled with hatred and insecurities. They will state "fair play" as an English attribute but that is propaganda to hide the horrors of Empire, racism, war and the deeply iniquitous class system. They have no national anthem, no parliament, a legal system shared with Wales, little culture and are utterly divided between classes and between cities and the rest of the country. Fascinating to watch what happens after Empire as the former centre consumes itself. Grab the popcorn, folks!
09/03 Matter of Time
1
Expat

Expat

I have had a similar experience. There’s a thing where when you come to a new place people have busy lives and it’s easier to break in with foreigners as you’re in the same boat. However, I would say that other cultures are more open, India is much warmer in my experience. Ireland too but not by a lot, we’re pretty insular, we’re just more chatty. Have found other cultures more closed though (Stockholm is ridiculous). Having said that I like the privacy I have in England, feel like I can do whatever I want and no one cares. It’s not like that in Ireland or India.
24/02 Expat
1
Jethro

Jethro

Teenager stabbed to death at busy London train station.

Why is it that all these stab victims seem to be black, gang members, drug dealers, or revenge gang victims. London and area seems to be the stab blood bath capital of the UK. This statement is not meant to be racist, but fact.
28/01 Jethro
3
Kolha

Kolha

I completely agree !!! I live in uk and married english man- who is interested in other culture but I’m struggling to make a good friendship with especially English ladies.
I have many friends from other country but not British ladies ... why?!
I feel they treat me like out of villagers when I am at work as well.
I’ve lost all my interest in them too tho... but maybe that’s good things ... somehow they are too tight and stuck up .. no fun ..?
24/01 Kolha
5
Chilvers

Chilvers

I’m English and I agree - we are not hospitable, even to each other. We lack warmth and kindness. I am from Sussex, lived 21 years in London (friendly because so many people make new lives there that they tend to be community-minded), my husband is from the North and his family are the coldest, least emotionally giving people you could meet.
12/12 Chilvers
9
Shef girl

Shef girl

I had to add a comment here. I am English and I have lived in genuinely racist countries including Pakistan so let's just get some perspective here. Firstly, England has the highest percentage of mixed race people (mixed with the English race) of any country in the world. Secondly there are certain social 'rules' that you need to follow in order to become fully accepted. English people are very warm and caring but only with family and close friends. Being overly friendly with strangers is considered insincere and this will put people off wanting to make friends with you. Another point that's worth making is that we have had mass immigration forced upon us to the point where we are the minority in our capital city and we have been regulated with laws to not be racist and to employ all nationalities. This is a bitter pill to swallow. Some people are sad to see their ancestral homeland taken from them.
16/10 Shef girl
-9

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