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Why are English people so cold? Perhaps this is the reason so many foreigners fail to integrate properly into society in the UK? I am a foreigner totally grateful to the UK for giving me a passport (married to a Brit for 21 years) as the chances of being killed where I come from are pretty good.
However, in all the time I spent living in the UK (five years in total), although I'm blue-eyed, blonde and speak perfect English with just a 5% accent, I am always regarded as being foreign. All my friends are foreign too mainly because we have come to realise we are all in the same boat.
My best friend is Swedish and has lived here in the UK for about 12 years. Even after that length of time living in the UK she says I am still the only person who has ever invited her home for a coffee!
We're told we have to be patient and that it takes time for an English person to trust you (say four years of knowing you), but then once they are friends with you, they are the best friends in the world. Well, I'm afraid I've given up trying and hoping.
you really don't want us to be here
Is it perhaps because your mothers never breast fed you and thus did not expose you to the first essential human warmth that we should all know? Or is it because you really are all xenophobic and your government, in its multicultural tendencies has failed to realise this basic truth? Perhaps it is just because you are SO polite, politically correct and you really don't want us to be here, so instead of telling us sincerely, you pretend to put up with us because you really don't want to become our friends?
Since first moving to the UK, I decided to move away again and have lived abroad for seven years. During that time I have never failed to make friends with the locals, and quickly too. So why are the English so aloof with foreigners?
By: Andypandy
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Here I was thinking that I'm being unfair to English. For the most part I thought there must be something wrong with me, but all this comments here made me realize,that English are cold, distant, cunning and also racists to some degree. For 8 years I've been trying to blend in, but no matter how hard I try it just doesn't happen. My partner is English (don't know how this happened myself) and people always seem to be surprised by this.
Conclusion is that it's impossible to make friends with English people if you are a foreigner.
I must agree with most of negative comments here.
ForeignConclusion is that it's impossible to make friends with English people if you are a foreigner.
I must agree with most of negative comments here.
12th Aug 19 06:42
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english are dumb pieces of shit who are drunk all day. pretentious and unfriendly to anyone who is different towards them. They are not tolerant towards others at all. Nowhere in the world will you experience such unfriendliness, go to Italy you will make friends, go to Germany you will make friends but never in England, you will never ever make a single English friend in your entire life.
Second Generation Indian7th Aug 19 23:29
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I'm sorry that everyone here has had bad experiences... But I disagree that English people are bad.
Yes, that person in your office was mean. Yes, English people can be racist. Yes, there are many horrible people.
But this is true in every country!
I lived in Tokyo and in Ginza area people are judged very heavily by their clothes. In my whole time in Japan I experienced racism - people ran away from me in the supermarket, I was denied entry to certain places because I'm a foreigner. I know people who were denied housing or jobs because they were a foreigner - even with a visa.
When I lived in Shanghai, I was often given different prices to Chinese people. When I speak Chinese, people say "no english" without even letting me finish the sentence. People just stare at you in the street and take photos like you are a zoo animal.
And just look at African Americans and Mexicans in the US.
The world is full of assholes.
But there are also nice people too. And here in England, most assholes live in London or the South.
I live in Nottingham now - in the Midlands - and I know all my neighbours. The bus driver smiles and says hello. At the supermarket I speak to the staff about their weekend.
People in the north are famous for being warm and kind, and this is my experience.
And as someone who looks Middle Eastern, I can assure it is not because I am white.
I hope everyone can try England once more and meet some nice people. Because they exist! It just depends where you look.
We're sorry!Yes, that person in your office was mean. Yes, English people can be racist. Yes, there are many horrible people.
But this is true in every country!
I lived in Tokyo and in Ginza area people are judged very heavily by their clothes. In my whole time in Japan I experienced racism - people ran away from me in the supermarket, I was denied entry to certain places because I'm a foreigner. I know people who were denied housing or jobs because they were a foreigner - even with a visa.
When I lived in Shanghai, I was often given different prices to Chinese people. When I speak Chinese, people say "no english" without even letting me finish the sentence. People just stare at you in the street and take photos like you are a zoo animal.
And just look at African Americans and Mexicans in the US.
The world is full of assholes.
But there are also nice people too. And here in England, most assholes live in London or the South.
I live in Nottingham now - in the Midlands - and I know all my neighbours. The bus driver smiles and says hello. At the supermarket I speak to the staff about their weekend.
People in the north are famous for being warm and kind, and this is my experience.
And as someone who looks Middle Eastern, I can assure it is not because I am white.
I hope everyone can try England once more and meet some nice people. Because they exist! It just depends where you look.
4th Aug 19 16:21
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I am a Japanese female, living and working here for 2 years now. I am a pretty friendly person and used to work in my home country and another European country for 10+ years and never felt difficult to make friends in these places. But here... I have to say it is very difficult to even just talk to my English colleagues casually. When I asked how was your weekend on Monday morning they always replied: "It was fine, thanks." and that's it. Some of them even say nothing after I said "Good morning" to them face to face. An English female colleague of mine in HR didn't invite me to a ladies lunch intentionally which is supposed to be for all the female coworkers in the company (and I was explained about the activity at the interview and was very positive to attend). What made me surprised the most is that the English female colleague refused to get health insurance to me which I must be registered by the company and is one of her very basic, prior duty for all the employees including me of course. Eventually, I had to ask someone at the headquarter to register for health insurance. Now I even think she has a serious issue on her brain. She never replied "Hi" or "Good Morning" to me even when we were just two of us in the kitchen space which was already a nasty attitude to me, but I've found a lot of other colleagues of mine who don't do that so I was trying to think it's just a culture difference. However, after having such many disgusting experiences I decided to leave this country as a lot of English wish. Before I came here English people are polite and calm but more friendly than Japanese, But NO. At least most of the English I met here are rude, arrogant, insecure, childish, and racist.
Most Horrible Experience19th Jul 19 11:39
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The UK is fast resembling a pressure cooker without a saftey valve, how much longer before the lid blows?
Facts17th Jul 19 22:34
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Pizzed up, drugged up, 6.9million families debt ridden and stressed out of their heads. The UK must be the most fucked up place to be stuck in. AND, still you all think your'e better than the rest of the world. London's the stab capitol with drug gangs running riot,and the police letting them thin themselves out. What a shit country to reside in. Now try telling me I'm wrong.
Facts17th Jun 19 15:39
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The English are a very cold race indeed I was born in London Westminster in the 60s to Italian parents went to an irish/italian Catholic school and yes they are so unfriendly rude and cold just like the weather everytime I go to France Italy Greece it's sunshine good food no drunken aggressive behaviour and people like to talk to each other and in Thier culture they adore children here they look on them like vermin they care more for their dogs. The street I've lived in for 18 years there's this guy he sees me walk past over the years and boy if looks could kill he always throws me the most evil dirty looks his face is a look of pure hatred sorry but that sums up the English they are a hateful lot very jealous and cant stand to see someone doing well they seem to like to see people fail I think alot are trying to portray they come from perfect respeactful families but in most cases they are most hiding shameful secrets sorry just telling it as i see it must be that WARM Italian bloody flowing through my vains lol
Rosie rose13th Jun 19 00:56
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I am American and have lived here in for 5 + years. I am super friendly and love meeting and talking to people. The only friends I have not been able to make here are English people. I have friends here who are of other European decent but not 1 English friend. It's disappointing for me. I didn't realise how unfriendly the English are. I've decided I can't take it personally as I used to. I think it's just cultural. I've been invited into the homes of French friends, Welsh friends, Scottish friends etc. but never to an English persons home. I think it might have to do with the fact that English people don't raise their own children. They send them off for someone else to do it. So the English grow up with out much love and affection. No hugs and kisses from their parents. Here in England I don't know my neighbours and when I say hi in passing they don't say anything back. In the states everyone knows their neighbors and invites them over for parties, BBQ's, whatever. Watch a game on TV. Here it's impossible to get to know your neighbours. No one wants to interact and know their own neighbours. I find it quite sad and I miss that friendliness. I am happy I'm here though. I feel very grateful to be in the UK and am a happy expat. I just wish people were kinder and friendlier. One more thing, the misconception that the English are polite was a huge blow to me. People here are quite rude. And the class system is very much still in tact.
From America8th Jun 19 13:30
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@free spriit, It has taken us brits hundreds of years to be the biggest bunch of twats under the sun, don't expect that to change soon. I'm now off to buy a new big BMW just to piss my neighbours off, and demonstrate what a snob wanker Iam.
Posing Brit3rd Jun 19 15:00
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I am British, white English to be exact, and I am in total agreement with everyone here. The English are very cold and distant, and the hat filled comments in the Daily Mail are unnerving to say the least.
The British government always say we share the same value as Americans, but nothing could be further from the truth. Americans celebrate achievement, while the Brits condemn it. Americans are more open and friendly, where as in Britain society as a whole is cold, dead, distant, uncaring, too severe and humorless. Where as Americans are more apt to talk to strangers, most English people will not even look at you, much less speak.
Lastly, Americans believe in freedom, human rights, the English just absolutely despises human rights, although these rights are abused to be fair.
I only wish that my countrymen would drop this snobbery, let go of this "holier-than-thou" attitude, speak to people more instead of mocking. They are always boiling over with rage about something, and are never happy.
I am ashamed to be English, we are becoming like the Germans just before the Holocaust, this hate will culminate into something nasty, and it will be the innocent who are once again targeted.
FreeSpiritThe British government always say we share the same value as Americans, but nothing could be further from the truth. Americans celebrate achievement, while the Brits condemn it. Americans are more open and friendly, where as in Britain society as a whole is cold, dead, distant, uncaring, too severe and humorless. Where as Americans are more apt to talk to strangers, most English people will not even look at you, much less speak.
Lastly, Americans believe in freedom, human rights, the English just absolutely despises human rights, although these rights are abused to be fair.
I only wish that my countrymen would drop this snobbery, let go of this "holier-than-thou" attitude, speak to people more instead of mocking. They are always boiling over with rage about something, and are never happy.
I am ashamed to be English, we are becoming like the Germans just before the Holocaust, this hate will culminate into something nasty, and it will be the innocent who are once again targeted.
2nd Jun 19 18:03
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Don't worry pete, the English people are doing a great job at kicking the crap out of one another trying to prove to themselves they are still important. Every day see's the UK destroying itself from the inside while denying it has a mega problem called snobbery and percieved self importance.
Watching and Laughing25th Apr 19 22:02
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English reserve is really that they are emotional retards. Bar a sense of humour or being drunk they cannot handle a different opinion and crawl into their shell and ignore you rather than confront the situation. Or they argue using the mind and not the heart.
Also there is a pause between their thought and what they say. They are bad at being spontaneous. The reason they don't invite you to their house is that may give up their secrets.
peteAlso there is a pause between their thought and what they say. They are bad at being spontaneous. The reason they don't invite you to their house is that may give up their secrets.
25th Apr 19 21:02
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I think this comments section has been sucking me in too much :) so here's what I think about all of this:
I think the biggest problem is with the lack of real communication between different cultures and misinterpretation of each other's intentions.
Maybe the english need to understand that it's beneficial to have an open conversation with foreigners every now and then and foreigners have to not take their distant attitude too personal and accept them for who they are.
It does hurt when you want to integrate and you can't even talk to the locals for long enough to even know what you're doing wrong and it must be just as scary to see your nation and culture change and feel threatened by a giant mix of new and different people.
Both are fears that we have to let go of. It's the only way we can get along.
I hope that the next generation of kids will grow up together and learn about each other's behavior and cultures without the cynicism and distrust that adults have. It might be a bit too late for us.
Peace
JdeI think the biggest problem is with the lack of real communication between different cultures and misinterpretation of each other's intentions.
Maybe the english need to understand that it's beneficial to have an open conversation with foreigners every now and then and foreigners have to not take their distant attitude too personal and accept them for who they are.
It does hurt when you want to integrate and you can't even talk to the locals for long enough to even know what you're doing wrong and it must be just as scary to see your nation and culture change and feel threatened by a giant mix of new and different people.
Both are fears that we have to let go of. It's the only way we can get along.
I hope that the next generation of kids will grow up together and learn about each other's behavior and cultures without the cynicism and distrust that adults have. It might be a bit too late for us.
Peace
8th Apr 19 14:46
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@GOW, I think you are living in a dream world old women, abusive or not, it's the simple truth that you and your kind cannot handle. You have constructed a nightmare scenario for your country because of your brainless actions in voting for something you had no idea of. You lot of OAP's have made your beds, now sleep in them.
PS, I hope you have ample funds and savings to survive on cause you will be needing them after the EU takes revenge for causing them so much aggravation.
Watching and Laughting PS, I hope you have ample funds and savings to survive on cause you will be needing them after the EU takes revenge for causing them so much aggravation.
7th Apr 19 12:56
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Google Translate *Funny to listen to*
19th Aug 19 23:15
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