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I'm fed up being told to have children by absolutely everyone! Why can't these seemingly insecure people leave me alone? Why do people assume that because I am now in my late twenties, that I must now either have a child or that I must be planning for one in the near future?
Isn't the country overpopulated as it is?
My wife and I are happily married and child free, and appreciate having a modest amount of disposable income and plenty of free time. We work hard for what little money we do earn and don't see the point in giving all that up just to feed an extra mouth. Come to think of it, isn't the country overpopulated as it is?
I have dreams and aspirations of a better quality of life and don't want to let anything get in the way of that. Yes, we're materialistic and ambitious but so what? Were not in fact being selfish because we don't want to procreate.
We just want to live for the moment
I've noticed that a lot of parents seem to become controlled by their children and also strike me as much more docile than people without kids. I don't want to end up like that, I want to keep that spark and drive thanks. We just want to live for the moment and having children running around the house does not bring personal immortality.
I believe that perhaps the ability to control our urges makes us more human than animal.
By: Grotnip
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Of course your not being selfish! My favorite comment in response to not having kids is "Who will take care of you when you get old?" Which sounds to me like the most selfish assumption of all--that the kids should take care of you. Love the gripe--really appreciate it.
Saw a blog that might interest those who read this: www.babyoffboard.com
20/03/12 Kurt
Saw a blog that might interest those who read this: www.babyoffboard.com
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I congratulate all who make the decision to be childfree and stick to what they believe in. For whatever the reason you have made the choice, the fact you haven't bowed to some blinkered society pressures is a good quality.
12/06/11 life lover
5
If this gripe wasnt so pety I would almost feel sorry for the person who wrote it.so what if you dont want kids,it will only effect you and your husband in 50 years time when your lonely with no family.
17/04/11 So what
-7
I agree with this totally though I do want kids, I would never force others to my opinion. It's all about choice after all. How can it be selfish?
What's selfish are those who have kids but aren't willing to make any sacrifices for their children or have no inclination to love them.
09/02/11 sonny
What's selfish are those who have kids but aren't willing to make any sacrifices for their children or have no inclination to love them.
-14
As a woman in her late twenties who has no maternal instincts whatsoever I completely relate to this post. I am constantly asked when my husband and I will 'hear the patter of tiny feet' and my response is usually a pathetic ' not for a few more years' Why? Because if I say 'never' I am greeted with shock and disgust because how could I not want to (over)populate the earth and give my poor parents grandchildren, very selfish of me apparently! In my opinion my parents have had their children and a very nice life and producing grandchildren is not a valid reason to have a child. I have no problems with children, just no desire to have one of my own, and I will not apologize for that. I think some women have a maternal instinct and others don't, neither is better than the other. I will say that people with children are invariably better off than those without due to the state of the benefit system in this country. Perhaps some recognition for those of us who are married without children and pay our taxes like everybody else!
29/01/11 No Thanks
1
It's not we hate kids we just don't want them as our budget only leaves us £50 spare at end of each month, now for us to have a baby we would need to claim tax credits or something which we can't be bothered getting into. One of us would need to go part time in order to get around childcare as we both work full time and there are no friends or family who would be able to help out either. We also like to go on holidays and keep a clean tidy house. "what if you accidentally get pregnant?" people ask, "I won't, take the pill correctly and I won't." I've been on the pill for 8years and if I accidentally get pregnant it would be a miracle! People at work have also made comments like "it's normal for women to get broody." then I'm not normal? Jay because they'v had their lives tipped upside down by a kid they think all women should reproduce? No. Not me. My minds made up, im not the maternal type.
14/10/10 Happy as I am
-1
I don't have children and I have never wanted them. That goes back to my adolescent days and I'm in my forties now. I've had people react to that as if there is something wrong with me and I've heard a whole range of comments. I stopped taking any notice some considerable time ago. I'm male and heterosexual, incidentally.
I feel young for my age and reasonably well connected to children and young people. Whether or not this comes from not having any of my own, I do not know. I seem to have something that parents of a similar age don't, but then they have something which I don't.
People who don't want children are not strange or weird. We're as normal as any parent. We have made a lifestyle choice, that's all. Just as many parents did. Save your pettiness, and vitriol in some cases, for the people who have children and are not responsible enough to bring them up properly.
11/09/10 Harsh But Fair
I feel young for my age and reasonably well connected to children and young people. Whether or not this comes from not having any of my own, I do not know. I seem to have something that parents of a similar age don't, but then they have something which I don't.
People who don't want children are not strange or weird. We're as normal as any parent. We have made a lifestyle choice, that's all. Just as many parents did. Save your pettiness, and vitriol in some cases, for the people who have children and are not responsible enough to bring them up properly.
-3
oh and I like going out for meals, nice clothes / shoes (when working) and when cash is availible goes straight on nice things in life, nice holidays, make up, and meeting up with friends,..me and my boyfriend manage just fine without kids....:O)
10/09/10 Kmc
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Im 40 in january. and never wanted children since I can remember ,and shall I tell you why, I cant even take care of myself, im out of work at the mo, and slim and work hard to keep looking good, im having alsorts of problems bein on the pill as I smoke my choice, but my doctor wont send me to be sterelized, incase I change my mind. I had an abortion when I was 19, I was in an abusive relationship,so even now I think its my choice to be sterilized at nearly 40, and could potentially have a stillborn/disabled child, plus Im on jobseekers allowance looking for work, and would never have a child just so I got more benifits..not me...I get very angry, at young girls having babies for flats/house when there is perfectly good contreception out there, I went on the pill straight after my termination and have never come off it...so please gp dont tell me I cant be sterilzed im not too young, and will never change my mind...
10/09/10 Kmc
-1
I have gritted my teeth over this for a while now, alot of my friends are having babies or have kids at that so called "cute stage" Why do they feel that I would benefit from knowing every detail of their childs development, let alone spend a luchtime looking at photos on their mobile of their offspring! I am now at the stage of avoiding friends who insist on going through this everytime I meet them, sorry but I just find it totally boring!
02/08/10 Windy Miller
-3
Angry at you
Not everyone likes KIDS, I cant stand the TERDS. They are annoying and have nasty attitudes if people are diffrent from them they stare at people who are overweight and make fun of special needs people, they need to be taught some maners, they scream and get on my effing nerves. I cant evenn stand the sight of them let alone hear them. We were all kids once is true, but KIDS today are entirely diffrent from years ago, ,and kids will be kids, thats the most annying term they seem to be more nasty today then when I was growning up.
17/06/10 Get these effing kids away fro
Not everyone likes KIDS, I cant stand the TERDS. They are annoying and have nasty attitudes if people are diffrent from them they stare at people who are overweight and make fun of special needs people, they need to be taught some maners, they scream and get on my effing nerves. I cant evenn stand the sight of them let alone hear them. We were all kids once is true, but KIDS today are entirely diffrent from years ago, ,and kids will be kids, thats the most annying term they seem to be more nasty today then when I was growning up.
-5
Alex
"If you have a mission in life better than having kids I agree, otherwise how do you contribute to life on earth?"
Do you have any idea of the problems with food, fuel and clean water that the world is heading for if the population keeps growing at the current rate? We need to reduce the global birth rate immediately and drastically.
There are many "missions in life" more worthy than having children, such as looking after the needs and future needs of the children (and adults) who are already here.
How do we contribute to life on earth without children? Those who don’t have children are reducing the land we will need for food production, mineral mining , house building etc which will contribute to slowing down the rate at which we are destroying the habitats of other species.
16/05/10 Smithy
"If you have a mission in life better than having kids I agree, otherwise how do you contribute to life on earth?"
Do you have any idea of the problems with food, fuel and clean water that the world is heading for if the population keeps growing at the current rate? We need to reduce the global birth rate immediately and drastically.
There are many "missions in life" more worthy than having children, such as looking after the needs and future needs of the children (and adults) who are already here.
How do we contribute to life on earth without children? Those who don’t have children are reducing the land we will need for food production, mineral mining , house building etc which will contribute to slowing down the rate at which we are destroying the habitats of other species.
0
First. Doctors recommend women to have children in their twenties because they are born healthier. If later in your life you may want a child it maybe too late biologically.Plus if you are older you won't enjoy your kid' childhood as well as if you are younger. You still want to see your grandchildren right?If you make a child when you're 40, you'll be 70 by the time your child will make a child too.
Second. I don't want to have children either. But saying you want to preserve your income in order not to feed an extra mouth it's horrible. If you have a mission in life better than having kids I agree otherwise how do you contribute to life on earth? Do you at least plant some trees to leave them to future generations?You haven't got here on your own, you know, many people contributed so that our generations to live. We have to give something back.
Third. Are you sure you asked your wife about this subject? She maybe of another opinion than you.
15/05/10 Alex
Second. I don't want to have children either. But saying you want to preserve your income in order not to feed an extra mouth it's horrible. If you have a mission in life better than having kids I agree otherwise how do you contribute to life on earth? Do you at least plant some trees to leave them to future generations?You haven't got here on your own, you know, many people contributed so that our generations to live. We have to give something back.
Third. Are you sure you asked your wife about this subject? She maybe of another opinion than you.
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am fed up off working hard,to find people with children on hand outs better of than me.
05/04/10 andy
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hairyfairy