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My husband and I are nearly divorced. He moved out into a studio flat (which I paid for - was the only way to get him out of the house) and is in the process of looking for a larger place.
He sees the kids to take them to and from school only (on alternate weeks) and other than that has no contact unless I force the issue.
I am trying to get him to look after the kids overnight so that I can start to develop my social life again, but he is being really unreasonable. I get sick of listening to men moaning about not being able to see their kids - we're the other way round and it is hard work! I have no one to help with childcare and have not been out in almost 12 months.
advised that there is no possibility of "forcing" him to have the kids overnight...
Legally there is nothing I can do and have been advised that there is no possibility of "forcing" him to have the kids overnight. We last discussed this on Friday when he said that the day I asked him to move out was the day he became a single man and it was my own fault!! There is no way that we will ever get back together and his behaviour is purely out of spite, just to stop me from developing a social life. Perhaps he fears I may one day meet someone else, who knows!
I already organise my work around his work rota and have said I will organise my social life around his and that if he needed to swap dates then I would (as long as he returned the favour), but all he keeps saying is that he is single and can do what he wants, when he wants...
Being a single mum is incredibly difficult and I wish I was in a position where the father of my children took responsibility for his own kids (just for some of the time!)
By: Jan
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I wont allow the kid to stay overnight. Simple as.
he comes every sunday unless we want a break. Dunno why so many people desperate for this i really dont.
Sadly, now that my ex has his shit sorted my partner’s ex is playing a similar game & looking for any reason to not have their kids overnight (the kids live with my partner & she is meant to have them every second weekend & half school holidays but it’s more like one night a month she actually has them). Today I lost my shit because she called to say that she can’t have the kids at all for a month because she has spat out another crotch fruit (this is her 4th baby to a 3rd father since separating from my partner 4 years ago) & doesn’t need the added stress. I have no sympathy for her to be honest & the first thing I did was went through the diary I’ve been keeping & called child support Australia to adjust her overnight care percentage down to where it should be. My partner is worried that this might cause trouble but agrees that if she isn’t going to see the kids then he shouldn’t be paying as much CS as he is. Hopefully the adjusted amount he has to pay her will give her the push she needs to actually spend time with her original children & not just the ones she spat out after separating from their Dad.
Right, rant over. Cheers & have an awesome day.
Think of your children - they presumably have stable secure bedrooms in your home where they feel settled.
You chose to have kids, so take responsibility and stop trying to dump them somewhere where they don't even have their own beds so you can 'have a social life'.
no one can be bothered
You must be practically perfect in every way :)
I'm making as many new supports as I can, other single parents, becoming friends with my kids parents so I can get a group of people to rely on.
I'm getting a few names of really good babysitters so I can go out after my kids are in bed.
I started working out, running on my lunch hour, and book hair appts, pick up groceries on my lunch hour or while my kids are at school - using some vacation time to get this kind of stuff done.
I've just let my friends/family know that I need help and that I can't rely on my ex (because he has something on his plate not that he's a deadbeat)
I've given up trying to get my ex to take the kids or even see them - one day there will figure out he wasn't putting the effort in and that they will need to match that same level of effort or be disappointed.
Some guys weren't meant to be fathers - don't bother trying to change a man - it's a waste of time.
Carey
I totally feel for you. The law is so unfair if it was us stopping them seeing the kids then they have the right to take us to court but not the other way around. My ex is punishing me through the kids. It's so un fair