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Teachers and teaching assistants being mean to kids

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We are well aware that we are probably in the minority here, but unfortunately we have had a particularly unpleasant experience with teachers and teaching assistants at our local school.

Particular teaching assistants and teachers alike can make your child's life hell and naturally the parents life as well.  They know that they will be supported by the school itself and we, being the parents are sullied.  What can you do as a parent if a member of staff takes a dislike to the parents and then is able to get up to all kinds of mischief to hurt and upset the child and this in turn affects the parent which they very well know.  When the school constantly shines with their academics and trophies, how are you as a parent able to convince anyone that it is a few members of their staff that are making your child's life miserable?

My child was made to pick up rubbish and to mop walls...

I have only just recently discovered that my child was made to pick up rubbish under hedgerows and in the fields of the school (decided by the Headteacher) and to mop walls in the infant playground.  The dinner ladies spraying goodness knows what on the walls and then informing my child to get on with it - my child is only seven.  How is a seven year old suppose to know the difference in what is safe to pick up and what is not.  A dirty pan was found and on it, I hope was just grease and nothing more sinister, because it was picked up in such a way that it ended up all over bare hands and took some time to wash off.  This is an absolute breach of trust and a major concern for my child's health and welfare.  When cleaning the wall they only provided my child with a mask upon asking for one, and only after the wall had been sprayed - they apparently wore a mask themselves.  This is absolutely extreme and I am sure they would deny that it has nothing to do with the fact we had complained about a particular teaching assistant because she had spent half the year shouting and seem to think it was okay to grab my child's hand tightly whenever she felt like it and squeeze.

This very same assistant had decided my child needed to go to the Headteachers office and was being so naughty over another incident that it was my child that needed to be made an example of.  How vindictive and cruel.  In the all the years I have been a part of primary school life as a parent, I have witnessed and experienced some of the staff take advantage of their control and power and abuse their situation.  They have used that same position to vilify and damage parents and children alike if your face doesn't fit in their world.

I have seen them hide behind their titles, have experienced their smirks and their condemnation.  I have seen first hand the "What can you do about it, you're powerless, I'm not.  If I have to, I'll rally my colleagues and just say another parent has complained." or the "They think "Parents just don't understand how hard we work how much we have to get through.  I am the teacher or the assistant here, I can cover this up and just say your child is so naughty!" kind of attitude.

School crossing sign How easy, for the few staff that although, maybe qualified to teach, have no people skills and to simplify are just plain mean and get away with bullying children and their parents alike.  As a parent you don't want to rock the boat and cause any disharmony, so you let many things go.  You say to yourself 'they are just trying to do their job under difficult circumstances.' We are all aware it's not easy being a teacher today.  Parents are constantly accused of not bringing their kids up right, but what if you are trying to do just that and someone in a supposedly respectable position is making sure people think exactly the opposite?  What I ask is: if there are parents who are bad apples according to school grapevine, then wouldn't it stand to reason there are some bad apples that spoil the basket in every school, some teachers or assistants that take advantage of their situation?  As human beings in a civilised society, are we not allowed to question teaching methods without fear of retribution?

When you have a concern about your child, you'd think that you have every right to talk to the teacher and air your concerns.  Not always so apparently, because some will make you pay if they don't like you.  It's always the little things, not quite noticed by anyone else, just the child and yourself.

For instance your child hands in their slip to join a club and yet is not able to do so.  Why you ask? No spaces maybe?  A valid point, could be; but that doesn't explain why other children get into the club after your child has been told there is no place for them.  When the teacher asks the whole class who wants to join a club, 'put your hand up' and your child is literally reaching for the sky and still is ignored.  You go into the school (a place where apparently all parents are welcomed) smile congenially, ask politely if there might be a chance in the future and they respond with "As I said to your child there are no places as yet." What do you do?  Argue?  No way!  As a parent you can leave but your child can't, so you remain quiet and hope for the best.  This is only one of the many problems we have been faced with and haven't know what to do, or more importantly who to go to to.

You can accuse me of being overly sensitive and just another parent who worries about their child too much, however I know what my duties are as a parent.  I try to bring my children up to have respect for people and to have empathy and consideration for the feelings of others.  The consequence of all this has been that my child had to be removed from a school which has excellent Ofsted reports and isn't something we decided lightly.  My child complained of stomach ache, cried, and complained of feeling unwell.  This has been a dreadful situation, and completely unjust.  People working in a school should not be allowed to get away with using a responsible position as a smoke screen for their own misdeeds.


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sam

sam

my child is currently going through this at the minute, her daughter bullied her from p2 and now in her final year Mum who is also a classroom assistant is doing it out in the playground.
03/12/19 sam
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NattyNooNoo

NattyNooNoo

I need advice as if I take mine I will go in hot headed and loose it. My son and a group of his friends, all 11, have had a teaching assistant on their backs all day and everyday. To the point she's reporting them for things they have done out of school hours. It's like she's waiting to catch them out all the time, example last week as they left school she watched them, they got on their scooters just by the main gate, as not allowed on them on school grounds, I was standing there, so knew they weren't on school grounds and she ran back to tell the teacher!! Next day they all got told off and banned from football! She tells them they are not wearing the correct coat, the correct watch and so it goes on. We've told the boys to keep their heads down do as your asked and she will have nothing to moan about, but she does, she always finds something. They are not in a private school it's a huge primary school of nearly 700 children. It's getting to the point where they don't want to go in, they are constantly being bombarded with SATS preparation and my son has started to suffer with migraines. Im not saying they are angels! They are 11 year old boys and were, up until recently, praised for how well they were doing until this woman has appeared. They have never been in trouble in the 6 years and top of the class in all subjects, The teacher doesn't seem to help anymore either, he told them all that they can forget their dreams of becoming footballers! I mean come on, every child deserves to dream but these people are just plain nasty. I've worked in a primary school setting, as a TA, and yes we can't always like every child but I would never act the way she does. It's the last day of term today and my son has come out, with his friends and they all look deflated, I'm so cross as now I have to wait a whole week before I can do anything! Sorry for rambling on but I'm furious! Any advice or where I need to start will be helpful.
10/02/17 NattyNooNoo
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debbie gee

debbie gee

Been here! Heads support the staff and are in total denial! I moved my daughter to but didn't go lightly!
02/02/17 debbie gee
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The child's point of view

The child's point of view

All my friends say it is perfectly fine, oops again! Xxx
29/04/14 The child's point of view
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The child's point of view

The child's point of view

All my friends say if is perfectly fine. Oops xxxx
29/04/14 The child's point of view
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The child's point of view

The child's point of view

This is coming from a child's point of view (me). I have a very scary teaching assistant in my class who I am very scared of. Once in year 4 I didn't understand a question, so she shouted in my face asking why. Spent a few months with a lovely lady who comes in on an afternoon and talks to children. After her, the assistant never bothered me again. However, it still haunts me and I am now In year 6. I used to be so scared of her that I pretended I had stomach aches so I didn't have to go into school, therefore I missed a lot of precious education. I have never been confident in maths but always try my hardest. She has came through 3 years with my class and still scares me. Tomorrow I'll be doing 30 minutes of level 6 maths with her, I am now scared, nervous and anxious and really don't want to go in to school tomorrow. All my friends say if h
Is perfectly fine, however, I for one see a VERY different side to her.
29/04/14 The child's point of view
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Happy Single Teacher Assistant

Happy Single Teacher Assistant

The primary school my children attend has a bully TA. We live in a small village in which this TA totally destroyed my sons reputation. When my second son joined her class in yr3 I quickly recognised the same pattern, also spotting the fake patronising smile.

What did I do about it?

I became a TA in the classroom next door ;) I'm now in my fourth year working with her and I have to say she's tried to do the same thing to me as she has my children.
She plants small seeds in people's minds and bit by bit waters those seeds until her recipient has grown the thought out of their own minds (or so they think).

I've watched her many times mentally bullying other children and or parents, always putting in her judgemental view point. It's done in such an underhanded way that it's difficult to 'pull her up on it'. The times that she has tripped up I've pounced on, always staying calm with a smile and reminding her that as educators in any position we are to remember the uniqueness of every soul and that it is not our place to judge anyone. The head thankfully is very aware of it but it's very hard to discipline as she lies and covers her tracks well.

She knows I'm on to her and hangs her head in shame when she gets my ' I know what your doing' look. She also knows I think that I'm killing her off slowly with kindness, I never bite, I never rise to it, you can sometimes see the frustration burning in her eyes. Whilst I'm there I can watch the backs of those vulnerable kids that don't fit her ideal and while she tries to hinder their progress I'm determined to make sure that they feel, safe, a sense of belonging and happy. I am well aware of which children to watch out for ..... The quirky characters.... If she took the time to find out she would find that they're the most interesting children, every child should, actually every human should, be a little quirky ;)

Our babies (whatever their age) our are treasure, it's important to me as a parent and a TA that the parents at our school know their child is cherished .....
A happy child = a child who wants to learn = happy parent = happy teaching staff
09/03/14 Happy Single Teacher Assistant
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don'tmesswithmeormine

don'tmesswithmeormine

To Han 22 August You say your a teacher, well you should not be if you are so narrow minded and cant see that Bullying always starts with the teacher at the child's early age, its a knock on effect, teacher humiliates child, other children don't want the same treatment from the same teacher so suck up by also humiliating that same child. Yes that's how Bullying starts with a so called adult. Han you too should not be put in the trust to look after children you should be sacked, and you too would be better off getting a job as a sewer RAT.............. My message to all parents is never ever believe an adult over a child do your research and if you know your child is right then take as much action against the so called teacher as possible , don't be fobbed off and keep it going until you get the lout sacked.
09/01/14 don'tmesswithmeormine
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don'tmesswithmeormine

don'tmesswithmeormine

my comment to ( miserablemoaninggit ) I agree fully with supermum 26 Feb 13 and people like you miserablemoaninggit is just what you are and an old school maam to boot, although I would bet my bottom dollar you are or have been a teaching assistant playing at being a teacher (whatever floats your boat ) I would not trust you with any child, why would a child have to be impressive? my child is my pampered centre of my universe and I am so very proud to be the kind of helicopter mother you seem to think is so wrong. because without people like you on this earth our children can grow in to confident educated adults. You are disgusting.
09/01/14 don'tmesswithmeormine
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don'tmesswithmeormine

don'tmesswithmeormine

I have just looked at some of your posts on here, so called teaching assistants and teachers that abuse the trust position of looking after/teaching children ( our children) they should be hounded out by OFSTED and be tattooed on the forhead in huge letters spelling out CHILD ABUSER because to bully a child at school by shouting grabbing hands, humiliating and making school life tough, knocking a child's confidence etc is exactly what they are CHILD ABUSERS, I would never believe an adult over a child. one of your posts advises people not to be teachers because teachers are so hard done by and goes on to call our children brats, well my message to that person is you would be better off getting yourself a job as a sewer rat you be good at that because your not fit to teach our children, our children are the future. My 5 year old who is only just 5 was shouted at today by a teaching assistant and accused of listening to the teachers conversation with another child, she is only 5 years old just out of nursery for gods sake and has been shouted at before by this bully, this same bully was seen in a pub not long since drunk as a lord and effing and blinding and its a regular thing with her, this is the kind of scum that we entrust our children to. I wonder what kind of teacher she had way back in the 1940's. There should be no such positions as teaching assistants because real teachers do not need assistants. I will be seeing my 5 year olds teaching assistant bully, first thing at school tomorrow. I wont be complaining to the school head just as we all know they close ranks, no I will be asking this aged fat ugly bully if she wants to try bullying me.................................
08/01/14 don'tmesswithmeormine
-5
British Girl

British Girl

Let me tell about myself I have a learning disability, couldn't hear well, have anxiety, insomnia, and i cant speak english that well but this is what happened. I had a teachers assistant and I was doing a project that Involved painting so I tried to paint as well as I can then she says to me I paint like a 6 year old.
06/06/13 British Girl
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Antifacebook

Antifacebook

I once got told of by a dinner lady. She went to the head teacher and came back smiling her face of!
19/04/13 Antifacebook
-9
grandparent

grandparent

I do hope you will get justice for what has happened to your child my grandson aged 9 has just been attacked by a teaching assistant they too are all telling lies, and the headmaster is covering for this assistant she also attacked my grandson again on 11/4/2013 on his sports day she lied about this again but we are not going to stop untill she is sacked and the headmaster for letting his staff get away with it the other attack was just before easter,he is being bullied but they are turning a blind eye to it this is happening in cardiff in a welsh speaking school who needs to be investigated urgent.
12/04/13 grandparent
-1
BulliedAndBatteredWeFeel

BulliedAndBatteredWeFeel

Dear boblet - sorry, I'm a very prolific writer - I will concentrate on NOT writing so much if I write again. MANY apologies and I certainly did not mean any offence to anyone.
06/04/13 BulliedAndBatteredWeFeel
0
boblet

boblet

B&BWF Let me give you a tip posts as long as yours will never be read, you are trying to batter other posters.
06/04/13 boblet
-10

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