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Don't get me started! If there is one thing that really aggravates me it would have to be self-service checkouts! Despite the friendly voice behind the screen they have never appealed to me. To speak of them subtly they are vexing, evil, bothersome masses of trash and I don't like them!
An instance of when these infuriating boxes of madness tried my temper was when my friend Emily was attempting to insert a 50p coin into this machine; it beeped, it buzzed, and it spewed out the once shiny 50p coin. This process repeated itself until Emily finally got a very psychotic grin from one of the shop attendants. This male looked like he had been employed in a grease factory for the last ten years and had developed a serious ache problem! Eventually this attendant 'repaired' the beeping machine, and looking very smug he placed the 50p back into the machine, then to his surprise the machine still spewed the money out. After a sneaky chuckle on Emily's behalf I suggested that maybe it was the coin. He replaced the 50p and the machine continued to function correctly.
I'm not the only one to have been annoyed by these machines. There was an article in the news last year about the growing number of people who purely despise these irritant metal blocks. There was a comment on the BBC website stating how they 'hate' the 'unsociable machines'. Shops all over the UK are being plagued with this self-service hell! They observe your every move just waiting to pounce with the words 'unexpected item in bagging area!' And these by the way, are the words every shopper dreads to hear. It's the intense shock, the fear shooting through your body. Have you accidentally stolen something, and was one of the prison guards.. err, I mean shopping attendants going to interrogate you? You need to get out quick, before you're caught!
I think that the self-service checkouts of 'doom' should be banned from all supermarkets. This may not necessarily be supported by Sainsbury's though. They should have half machines and half people then at least people like me would have a choice!
These machines also cause colossal queue's as nobody wants to suffer using them, but even they look welcoming when the arrogant person who shoved in front of you smells like rotting corpses and has a slight hint of 'cuppa soup'. But on a more serious note, if we do not stop this spreading to other countries and we wish to save them from this torture, we must get rid of them or at least programme them to be a little less picky and antisocial!
In conclusion they are pointless, wasteful, mindless squares who should be given asbos. They need to be stopped and we need to be rescued from this dark abyss of fire and beeping.
Can you give a machine an asbo?
By: An annoyed school girl