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I find it unbelievable how women who are mothers of children can think it is OK to use their kids as pawns to try and 'get back' at their ex husband - as well as numerous other pain in the ass tactics to destroy his life. Simply because he has the audacity to be happy without her (and she led him a dog's life for years)!
I know of numerous cases where the guy has done nothing wrong but funnily enough, as soon as he finds a new woman - the ex-wife rears her evil head and decides to wreak havoc with his life and that of his new partner. Sad, childish, jealous and living in the past, these sad spongers will not let go.
Although I realise that a) not all women are like this and b) not all men treat their exes properly (and perhaps deserve some repercussions), in the case I am living through the ex-husband (my boyfriend) has tried to be the adult, been responsible and maintained the situation to his detriment.
Meanwhile the evil ex-wife has sat on her backside and done nothing constructive to help. She whinges and is disruptive (basically downright evil) at every opportunity and has never once been grateful that her ex-husband works his butt off to keep a roof over her and the kids' heads.
Of course she has never contributed a penny towards this, but will no doubt get a large proportion of the divorce settlement.
Is it right in a situation like this that she:
- Has a very wealthy boyfriend that she won't officially admit to (well isn't that convenient?)
- Has alienated various member of ex-husband's family from him - just to be spiteful
- Caused a major rift in his family
- Lies at every opportunity but accuses him of doing so (which he hasn't!)
- Makes every excuse to not work full time when there is no good reason why she can't
- Refuses to be adult or co-operate about the divorce or arrangements for the kids
- Threatens court at every opportunity, which is totally unwarranted
- Has gained unauthorised access to our home in the past (the kids let her in)
- Has hacked into email accounts
- Is generally a giant pain in the rear
Why can't these sad individuals realise that just because they hate themselves and have serious unresolved mental issues - they don't have to screw up everyone else's lives (including their own kids) just to feel better. I pity this sad individual. Is anyone else going through / lived through this? We can't be the only ones!
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My husband has 2 great kids with his ex and she constantly uses the kids as pawns, she gets them to phone for money, clothes, lifts, and other things which we do provide anyway! Tells the kids they dont have to visit if they dont want to but when she is going out forces them to come to us which causes them to be upset. My husband and I both work and yes you guessed it she does but not officially and can afford to be in the pub 5 nights a week.
07/07/08 dori
0
Yes - No use trying when they are so childish and selfish. After 9 years of trying to get along with her I have given up. Its best to keep that negativity out of your lives as much as possible and do your best to protect your happiness. I know its hard but she can't take away your happiness....she can make it uncomfotable....but if you let her get to you, you are letting her take it away.
02/07/08 Stina
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first off you are one sided the only people that know the truth are them and the kids second unless you and him are married your not suppose to live in the house with him while the children are there legally and she can stop all visitation based on just that fact second if his family did him that way he has done something to warrent that other than her say so to them second sounds to me like two men possesing one body the in front of you man and the behind your back man
27/06/08 knowing better
-5
Wow ... this sounds all too familiar. I recently got divorced a second time because of this very situation. The mother of my kids (one will 18 in a matter of months the other 14) has been remarried to a guy she met while we were still married for years ... I met someone and remarried 3 years ago.
From the point we returned from our honeymoon, the mother started causing problems just described in this story. Our original arrangement for my daughters was for me to have them for one week and her one week alternating, everything split 50/50. She started games "in the name of the kids" but really had nothing to do with anyone but herself. She did take me back to court saying things needed to straightened out (things were working just fine, the kids were happy, I was happy, she was remarried and supposedly happy and trying to get pregnant again). In doing so she has continually put my kids in the middle. She has tried to cause a rift in the relationship I have with my kids, helped to wreck a marriage, and caused tremendous confusion for everyone involved. It's been TEN years since we first separated and divorced and she still caused these issues.
Why is it that people like this just can't be happy and leave others alone and appreciate the fact there is a guy there that is more than willing to be a major force in his kid's lives and didn't just pick up and disappear like too many fathers do? Amazing.
27/06/08 Annonymous
From the point we returned from our honeymoon, the mother started causing problems just described in this story. Our original arrangement for my daughters was for me to have them for one week and her one week alternating, everything split 50/50. She started games "in the name of the kids" but really had nothing to do with anyone but herself. She did take me back to court saying things needed to straightened out (things were working just fine, the kids were happy, I was happy, she was remarried and supposedly happy and trying to get pregnant again). In doing so she has continually put my kids in the middle. She has tried to cause a rift in the relationship I have with my kids, helped to wreck a marriage, and caused tremendous confusion for everyone involved. It's been TEN years since we first separated and divorced and she still caused these issues.
Why is it that people like this just can't be happy and leave others alone and appreciate the fact there is a guy there that is more than willing to be a major force in his kid's lives and didn't just pick up and disappear like too many fathers do? Amazing.
4
I too am dating a man that has been legally separated for 9 months now. He had been separated for over 6 months when we met. His soon to be EX has had a live in boyfriend (which she will not admit that they are dating) living in the home before they even filled for separation. About 2 weeks after we started seeing each other his EX finds out and go crazy. She is now accusing him of beating her and being real nasty and using the kids for everything. The Ex tells his children that their father does not pay her enough money every month which is not true, he pays what they both aggreed on. She has the kids right now and is always off partying with her "live-in friend"
25/06/08 Ann
2
Oh, I so know how you feel. And it only gets worse once you are married. This makes the evil ex-spouse attempt to seek and destroy. I have two good ones to add. My husband's ex called and harassed him into coming over and fixing the kids trampoline at her home. This was okay, the kids love the trampoline and he had the tools and knew how to fix it. He gets over there, starts working on it in the backyard, and then suddenly the police were there. She had called them saying he'd broken in to the backyard and wouldn't leave. A month ago she threatened to leave the country with the kids and never come back if we didn't give her more money. We said to go ahead and do it. This week her new stunt is that she want us to take custody for nine months so she can take an extended vacation out of the country. She works one day per week and has been able to save enough for this vacation in the $2750 per month child support we provide, plus $800 monthly in alimony. Every week its something new. We've just tried to let go of this emotionally and not respond to her harassment or threats. We do document everything and will likely end up in court one day for a custody change.
12/06/08 LJTM
2
the evil ex - where do I even start? she's the one that cheated (twice) and before they got "married", she got pregnant, moved off and threatened abortion. after 3 years of marriage, they split and eventually got divorced. they've been divorced for over 7 years and she still carries his last name. she's tried to bully me (I won't have it) and has cussed out my voicemail several times. she has even wrote me a 2 page letter claiming I'm the one that's bipolar, psycho, crazy, has no friends and my fiance would never in his right mind marry me. she has made scenes at baseball games, in front of the kids and other parents, has elbowed me as she walks by and then claims I pushed her - even with her mother's take on it! her mother called my honey and told him they needed to talk before things got worse and that she saw me push her!!! she works for the post office, but no amount of walking will help those cankles! she has my sister in law keep tabs on our events and has even run a background check on me! she has our recent family photo, too. I came into his life way after she screwed it up. me and my stepson have a wonderful relationship - although, I have to keep him check every so often. he can't even say bye to me after his games if he's with her! I have planned his birthdays, etc., around my fiances allotted time to have my stepson. she's evil and caniving and manipulative. her divorce lawyer laughs at what a joke she is! even he said she's crazy. I just don't know how to deal sometimes........
12/06/08 annoyed
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edit. Last comment refering to previous comment.
Original poster: Anyone can father a child, you step is obviously a good father. Sorry my post so messed up.
09/06/08 topsyturvy uk
Original poster: Anyone can father a child, you step is obviously a good father. Sorry my post so messed up.
0
During break ups one side can conviniently forget the causes. My ex forgot throwing child accross the room and beatings happened, I became an inconvinience because partner wanted younger model. Forgot that restraining order was made for a reason!! Will to this day call me a horrible and evil person who doesnt let the kids visit, poor person. Trouble is its a load of rubbish and even young children know if effort of contact is made or just not bothered. New partner was told I was evil and that the children were due to me sleeping around, thats why he didnt want to pay csa or visit. Turns out csa caught up with him though and guess what his comments were after years apart. Where were my fathers day cards, you didnt bother sending any. Pathetic. I hope your problems are resolved soon, just remember new partners are not always told the full story as in my case. I wish you both well and hope the ex allows what obviously seems to be a father wanting to make effort a chance in your case.
09/06/08 topsyturvy uk
-1
I agree to this completely. As the new wife for several years, I have tried to combat the "evil" stepmother archetype. I have planned all outings around visitations, made her birthday as momentous as our children's, and made sure that she received as much as our other children have. In return, she has called me "mom" for the duration of our relationship and has had many great memories with us. This is all to the ex's chagrin. She has manipulated our relationship, continuously made us the bad guy while proclaiming her innocence, and has done all in her power to destroy what we have worked so hard to build. In the time of our marriage, she has had numerous marriages, serious relationships and boyfriends. She has tried to mimic vital aspects of our lives (i.e. she bought a house in the same town almost identical to ours), has repeatedly asked my husband why they didn't do the things we have done, etc. After many years of heartache, financial woes, and emotional strain she has succeeded in severing the tie with our daughter. When a father only sees his daughter only four days a month, this cannot combat the influence a vindictive mother can have. She has allowed boys to stay the night, allowed her to miss many days of school, she drinks from the liquor cabinet, sneaks out, you name it. Yet we are the bad guy. Court systems scoff at men who did not carry the child to term but are made financially and emotionally responsible for the misdeeds of the mother. It is a shame. I pray for my stepdaughter who will pay the price for her mother's vengeance.
09/06/08 alexasothermother
1
I don't see if a man is not in love with his ex wife anymore, why can't she accept it and move on. My husband and I been married for a year having to deal with his ex who is a total pain, thinks she owns the world and is better than anybody. When she had him, she used and abused him, now he has seen the light and has moved on, she's a mean thing to the new wife. She uses their 2 innocent children as pawns just to hurt him and if she think she can ruin my life, she better think twice. She is so evil that she called once and said her 3 yr old daughter is in the hospital having a surgery which was a total lie. How can a mother called sick upon her own child....what a curse. How can God see such people. I want to advise all women going thru this , put down your foot on your man and make him see reality and suck up to his crazy ex.....because if she was good, he wouldn't had left her. And she ain't better than you because you have him. Good luck and go in God's grace and blessing....and remember it was God's will. and no weapon formed against you shall prosper.
07/06/08 S
1
Yes men should pay child support, but these money grubbing lazy b-i-t-c-h-e-s need to stop milking the system and their ex's and get off their lazy asses and work for a damn living!
31/05/08 JP
2
Yes I can totally relate! My boyfriend is going through the same thing! His ex sits on her lazy ass at home with her live-in boyfriend, collecting child support, working under the table so she doesn't have to report her income so she can receive public assistance or whatever instead of getting a real job to better her life and the life of her kids. She constantly complains that she doesn't have enough money to take care of the kids (even though she gets regular child support payments, works under the table & has a live in boyfriend) yet she finds money to go on trips, go to the bar, go tanning, etc etc. What exactly IS she doing with those support payments??? Her kids are obviously NOT her priority. Her priority is promoting some rock band, going to the bar, being their band groupie (at 42 years old I might add) instead of focusing on her children & being a good mother. She doesn't realize how lucky she is that she IS getting child support! I have a 14 year old daughter that I have not received one dime of child support for EVER! It's rough, but I'm making it on my own with no help. She has NO CLUE what it's like to struggle & do without things. She thinks her kids are "doing without" if she can't afford to buy a video game or lots of stuff for them at Christmas time. Try "doing without" having enough food in the house by the end of the month & having to scrape together spare change so your kid can have lunch money, hoping you make enough money to pay your rent & utilities each month, etc.
Bottom line, she is unhappy and she wants to make my boyfriend miserable too!
31/05/08 Nancy
Bottom line, she is unhappy and she wants to make my boyfriend miserable too!
0
My husband's ex has told him unless he gets a divorce from me, he can't see his daughter. His daughter is mentally ill and has threatened to kill me if she is in my presence. Psychiatrists have said she should never be around me. My husband has supported this for 5 years but even today, his ex called and told him he will rot in hell for not getting a divorce so that he can see his daughter. NO ONE has said he can't see his daughter - just not in our house. Her mother is mentally ill also. It has been hell. She fits all of the above in your case and then some. We have had the police involved because of death threats and her other daughter coming on our property to verbally assault me and threaten to physically assault me. It was so bad, the neighbours called the police. My husband and I believe we have a good marriage but with the problems of mental illness, etc., it has been too challenging to bear. To all of the jealous women out there, get a shrink. Your behaviour is destructive to all involved, especially the children. No child should have to be used as a pawn to support the jealousy of lunatic women. Everyone has jealous tendancies = it's how you deal with them that counts. I didn't ask for any of this. I just got married. You tend to make yourselves look good by using your own warped sense of logic. You have ruined everyone's life who is involved. Give it up and get on with your life using some positive sense of compassion, if you can at all.
26/04/08 Lizzie
1
B.L.