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Horrible mums at the school gate

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I have just started taking my youngest child to primary school, and what a eye opener it has been!  I don't live in the nearby village where the school is situated; instead I drive my son there each morning and pick him up at lunch time as he is on half days.

School mums - I obviously don't belong in their clique

As I stand at the school gate with the other mums I have come to realise that I obviously don't belong in their clique.  To be honest I think they are rude, unfriendly and even a bit arrogant.

I have often tried to smile and make conversation with them, but the very next day when I try to make eye contact I end up hitting the same unfriendly brick wall again.

School gate It is so disheartening and I just can't understand what the problem is.  I am nothing special, average in height, looks and weight.  I'm not one of these "stuck up" mums with the 4x4 and an attitude to match.  I am just an ordinary and I'd like to think, nice and friendly person.

I'd say I am pretty much resigned to the fact that I won't ever be able to break the ice with these particular mums.  Fair enough I suppose, but life is too short.

One thing I know for sure, if ever I see a young woman on her own that may be just moved into the area or looks as much as a social outcast as I do, I will not be as shallow as these mums and ignore her!

By: Nice Mummy


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Friendly mummy

Friendly mummy

I hate the school run..i take my 8 year old daughter to school every morning and see a big bunch of other mums all talking to each other..when i smiled at one of them i just got an odd look like i shouldnt even be there..i just hate it..like this morning on my way home there were four mums just stood talking away i only said excuse me to one of them cos i couldnt get by and i heard another mum make a sarcastic comment.
Friendly mummy
24th Jan 17 10:22

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HLib

HLib

This really struck a chord. I'm several years older than the other mums & most of them totally ignore me. My son is now in year 1 and boy is he paying for being bright. He is no longer invited to any parties or get-togethers. Some parents even mention their parties in front of me or copy me into their Facebook posts showing their birthday party pics (luckily my son doesn't get to see these otherwise he would be devastated). We invite other children from school round to our house but no one ever comes so we do lots of out-of-school activities so that he mixes with other kids & has friends that way. I never imagined that it would be such a miserable time.
HLib
11th Oct 15 10:29

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J xxxx

J xxxx

To be honest Nice Mummy they sound like a bunch of bitches and obviously not worthy of you, you can do better.

J x
J xxxx
5th Nov 14 20:18

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Mandy

Mandy

My daughter goes to a fairly expensive private primary school in Australia, however most of the parents have been reasonably friendly. Recently we have had several English children enter her class and I have to say their mothers are the most stuck up rude and, I suspect, racist people I have ever encountered. My husband is from the north of England but these people are obviously from different area and a higher social class, or so they think. I have decided to ignore them.
Mandy
5th Nov 14 07:02

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Elise

Elise

Wow so true, I am a younger mother, most of the others are at least 5-10 years older than me., I am pretty skinny and used to model when I was 19 so yeah a while ago now and im nothing great but I suppose I still have the general look and it is not appreciated I can tell you that ...initially the other mothers were very rude and would not even look at me, I just persisted and was REALLY REALLY nice, so it made them look horrible if they were rude in return. I now have a solid group of other women I am friends with, whose sons play with mine, and he has been invited to several parties and has become quite popular. But it is terrible that I have had to crawl to these women, there are always a few who are nice, and I recommend concentrating on them. Every now and then I will get shitty looks, or aggressive looks if I wear something in which I look pretty, I actually make an effort to really dress down, no makeup, hair in a bun, sweats etc and that has helped but some of the women are still so incredibly rude, it is funny in that it is its own microcosm, this sort of behaviour would not be accepted in a workplace or anywhere else that is for sure. Lots of the mums are great, but some just really need to get a life!
Elise
5th Jul 14 10:24

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Learner

Learner

Thank you to all the nice mums who shared their stories. My daughter started school last sept and its been a real eye opener. The mums are all in cliques never even given me a chance to fit in. I work part time and just don't bother with them. Carnt believe how wierd this all is. School was never like this, I endure being snubbed for my daughters sake. But sometimes I think maybe I have made a mistake with this high ranking school and should have sent my daughter to the much larger more working class school down the road. If you can survive the snobby behaviour at schools I think you can survive most things. I keep telling myself this will pass !! Carnt wait until my daughter is older and I don't have to stand in a playground being ignored!!
Learner
18th Jun 14 23:02

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Dead and Buried

Dead and Buried

for mums doing the school run is all about showing off your shiny Mercs BMWs Porsches and your latest designer clothes and handbags and talking about your high-flying banker husband. If you don't have these, then be prepared to get the funny look from those who have.
Dead and Buried
24th Apr 14 14:48

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grumpyoldwoman

grumpyoldwoman

lppe; I think in your position I might be tempted to enlist the mums you do get on with to do a bit of pointing, sniggering and slagging off of the snobby ones!

Comments like how sad it is when people just can't live without the latest car, phone etc., how they're probably in debt to pay for them and so on, just loud enough for some of them to hear.

Give them a dose of their own medicine. I can't bear people like that either.
grumpyoldwoman
22nd Apr 14 14:12

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least pretentious parent ever

least pretentious parent ever

I am a mum of two children, a boy and a girl. I have never been a popular mum and have had several run-ins with other mothers due to them looking at me or talking about me in a unacceptable manner. I don't drive a 4x4 or wear the latest fashions, but I do dress sensibly and drive a modest family car. I live in a nice home and work 2 part-time jobs and have the most brilliant husband I could wish for! My youngest child is in his last year of primary school and frankly I cannot wait for him to move up to his next level of education. I have never enjoyed the school run due to the snobbish and general attitude of the other parents who are only too ready to slag off another parent usually the mother who doesn't quite fit in with their 'CLIQUE'. I live in an area where the 11+ exam is taken by the children who wish to proceed to grammar school education and this just makes matters worse as it just makes a bigger divide! I would have never thought this sort of thing would happen in a Church of England School in a quiet village! Couldn't have been more wrong! I now make no effort with any of those parents and just stick with the mums whose children play with my son and have the same down to earth attitude that I have. Waiting in anticipation for July '14' NO MORE PRIMARY SCHOOL YAHOO.
least pretentious parent ever
22nd Apr 14 13:45

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pet

pet

Poor nice mummy :( question is, do you care if these ignorant sly people like you or not? If they're that stupid and feel threatened by an 'outsider' why would you waste any more of your precious time worrying about them?
pet
24th Mar 14 14:26

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Nick

Nick

School-run is all about showing off and being snobbish. Women are especially bad because they are nosy and they are jealous. Have you read about the Los Angeles private schools? At the school gates it's basically like a car show and an Audi Q7 is probably the most humble car in the crowd.
Nick
21st Mar 14 09:48

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Horny Harry

Horny Harry

"As a single father and one who walks his son to school every day, I enjoy meeting these superior ladies around the school gate, their prices are very reasonable".

Pasted from an earlier post. Classic wouldn't you say.
Horny Harry
19th Mar 14 14:56

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Hmmm

Hmmm

This is all interesting reading. My son is in yr 2 of a 'nice' middle class school. He seems to have made friends well and I'm sure he's well liked but every year I come up against the same thing in that he's not invited to many parties, even when his best friend is. I'm not a popular mum and not one of the clique. Most of them don't work (I work full-time) and most live in the affluent area where his school is, I live in a (lovely) but cheaper area nearby. They are basically snobs and only interested in their own circle. They organize weekends away together and I guess I'm not the only one to feel insecure about being rejected by them (I was blanked completely by one mum last week when I smiled and said hello). I really feel sorry for my son though and have to tell him that it's not his fault he doesn't get invited to parties. It's just down to the children's mummy's and they only invite children they are friends with. They are truly pathetic. Luckily I have plenty of friends outside of the school gates. I've stopped trying to be liked by them now!
Hmmm
19th Mar 14 14:24

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Nick

Nick

Agreed. I can't believe how many people today are turning into snobs who judge people only by looking at their clothes/handbags/shoes/watch/car. Situation is particularly bad in London as 95% Londoners are snobs these days.
Nick
10th Feb 14 13:50

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Chiny

Chiny

There is a mixed race lady at the school who just stares at my clothes, hair etc and laughs. This has been an eye opener. I just go school to put my kids in school and then collect them.. I would not expect anything like this in my life but i think pre-parents need to be aware of these things. I agree with another commenter... if there are horrible people...don't mix with them. Not enough research has been done around this.
Chiny
10th Feb 14 11:50

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