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Bank account emptied by ex-husband

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My ex-husband was hiding my post from me for almost 12 months and only passing on the correspondence I would normally be expecting, ie bills, wage slips and my own personal bank account statements.  We had a joint account which we opened over 18 years ago when we got married and there wasn't really much money in the account but there was enough to pay the domestic bills and shopping etc. each week.

My ex-husband was self employed and had his own business, which had started to fail (he successfully kept this hidden from me!).  I have worked all my life - full time and my parents have been my child minders.  Throughout my life I have conquered serious illnesses and still maintained a good working record and have saved what money I can from my job to enable my children to have the best possible quality of life.

spending money - money which was for our children's future education fund

To cut a long story short, he was spending the money I was saving in another joint savings account - money which was for our children's future education fund.  I was completely unaware of this and still to this day don't know what he spent it on. One day I phoned the bank to query why a direct debit for £7.50 had been rejected, only to get the biggest shock of my life.  We were £2,000 overdrawn and the bank had been trying to contact me.  Wait for it though... the best bit was that my house was going to be repossessed within the next three days!!!

Two pound coin I went home from work upset and ready to face my husband, to get some answers to all the questions I had in my head.  However, when I arrived home he'd already gone.  He had known what was happening and had lied to the building society telling them that I was too poorly to attend a court hearing 6 months earlier where the decision was taken to allow us to pay a higher repayment amount until we had caught up.  I was devastated to find out that there was nearly 12 months of unpaid mortgage!!!  I returned home to an empty house, he'd taken his clothes and his paperwork, that was it, marriage over.  He'd even left his wedding ring and posted his key back through the door.  He didn't have the decency to tell either myself or the children what was going on OR TO FIND US SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE - he just went!

I have tracked him down now and am living in rented housing.  He has moved to another part of the country and is living with a family member.  He is claiming sickness benefit and I haven't had any form of maintenance from him for the children.  Does anyone know if the CSA can make an attachment to his sickness benefit and get him to assist me with the future of my children.  I am claiming working tax credit, family tax credit and working 16 hours a week now.  I cant work full-time because I need to get home in time to collect my youngest from school.  Please - if anyone knows what can be done - please, please, please reply to this gripe!

By: Annoyed Mother


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Adam

Adam

This can be classed as criminal fraud but some lawyers would argue against it, the only course of action would be to bring a civil suit for breach of fiduciary responsibility but if he has nothing you will get nothing - beware.
30/08/15 Adam
-1
JHB

JHB

You cannot tar all men with the same "irresponsible" brush. I am the major earner in our house and I also guide our finances through the slalom of life. As a result, we own our home (no mortgage left) we have no debts (if you can't pay for it, wait until you can) and we have endeavoured to pass this philosophy onto our children and grandchildren.
I was in the military for 37 years and did not earn "loads a money"
Such deception by a loved one is not uncommon, you need to part of all financial processes.
12/04/14 JHB
0
Mark

Mark

Yours is just another example of tragedy due to lack of control of husband's finances. To all wives in the world: you need to track your husband! Track his finances and his whereabouts! This is most basic but also vitally important! Men + Money = Trouble. Always true!
25/06/13 Mark
-4
miserablemoaninggit

miserablemoaninggit

This gripe surely helps to confirm that the expectation of a life-long, monogamous marriage is just not realistic for the majority of us. That the husband could manipulate, deceive and machinate over such a long period of time is appalling. That the wife knew nothing until the very latter end reveals the sham basis of their marriage, the meaninglessness of repeated statements of "I love you", and the fact that the wife knew nothing about the rotten nature of her husband underneath that deceptive veneer.

Marriage should be much more like a business contract, limited by time period with the option of renewal should each party give consent. Other clauses should kick in if children are born, with clear legal mechanisms from birth to ensure that their needs, including financial, are met both in the short and long term.
02/01/13 miserablemoaninggit
-1
Miss Smith

Miss Smith

No, dr odudu, that's ok

You keep him.
01/01/13 Miss Smith
-7
dr odudu

dr odudu

Do you need your ex husband back if yes contact odudumoyoyo@gmail.com
01/01/13 dr odudu
-8
A REAL MAN

A REAL MAN

He's a complete w*nker for doing that to you. Maybe he gambled and lost the money or tried to put it back in the business. Anyway have you ever considered naming and shaming him in one of those women magazines or tabloid newspapers? I am sure they would be interest to hear your story and pay you for it..
27/11/09 A REAL MAN
-10
Mrs Mopp

Mrs Mopp

Having worked for the dreaded CSA in the past unfortunately the maximum you could get from him is £5 per week and this would be set up directly with Incapacity Benefit (I assume it is that he is claiming) and taken out at source before he received his money every week / fortnight.

The better you get the claim into the CSA the better as the child maintenance can only be backdated to when they first contact your ex husband and 'establish parentage'. If however he comes off IB then a default maintenance decision could be imposed if he failed to provide employer details in the event he finds himself a job. This is typically between £30 and £50 per week.

As other posters have mentioned have you thought about taking him to the small claims court to try and recoup some of the lost money?
Good luck!
12/11/09 Mrs Mopp
-8
feckless wreck

feckless wreck

this is great. So much like my family situation. Only my mother and I were dumped abroad and I'm in theory an 'adult' but have had mental health problems and difficulties with moving into independent living. He ran off back to the Uk where he took a prestigious teaching post and got paid a great salary. The last 2 Christmases we were either homeless or on the brink of homelessness. Great life.

So far as I know, so long as he's in the same country as you you shouldn't have a problem.
They might not sieze his benefits but they might make him pay a certain amount per month to you.

Good luck!
09/11/09 feckless wreck
0
gix

gix

What goes around comes around ,he will pay in the end,it is strange how you can live with someone and never really know them.but he should watch his back as what will she do to him in the end !
01/11/09 gix
-12
G

G

Your Children will know who is bringing them up and one day the father may regret what he has done...by then it will be too late.
22/10/09 G
-4
Chavtastic

Chavtastic

You would be better off waiting for him to get his act together before going after him for any money (divorce or maintenance) as it would appear he has none. I would say it is quite unlikely you will ever get much (if anything) out of him. You can't get blood out of a stone.

You definitely need to get yourself a decent solicitor though.

Unfortunately this kind of thing can and does happen when one person controls the financial side of things. Next time (if there is a next time) keep it all separate. It is a hard lesson to learn though.
20/10/09 Chavtastic
-8
Jason

Jason

Time to wise up. Perhaps you'll chose a better partner next time. Chances are you won't though.
17/10/09 Jason
-7
Carlos

Carlos

That's outrageous I feel for you, there are usually 2 sides to every story but I don't think there is in this case, Good Luck.
15/10/09 Carlos
-12
mrs griper

mrs griper

my ex husband did the same to me, gambled and lost £12000 savings in 1 month and stole £2500 from my personal savings account and the very morning I found out, I returned home from the school run after dropping off my 2 children and carrying my 12 week old baby into the house to find what at first I thought was a burglary, turns out he took the tv and my babies sterilizer and legged it, later I found out he was screwing another woman because as I had a complicated birth could not perform 'wifely duties' I don't care what people say about single mothers stopping the father from seeing his children, there is always a reason....they make their beds they can sleep in the sh#t they make. Divorce him and take him to court for every penny he stole.
14/10/09 mrs griper
8

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