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In addition to NOT being psychic or clairvoyant (we don't know what's inside the parcel YOU'VE ordered!), we're also NOT phone installation experts, Corgi registered technicians or flat-pack furniture assemblers. SO DON'T BOTHER ASKING!
We are DELIVERY DRIVERS, which means we drive around and deliver things! By the way, we don't drive Reliant Robin's with just YOUR parcel on board! Ford Transit vans can't always fit through your tiny narrow gateways, not even when in your infinite wisdom you decide to decrease the space between the posts!
As for catalogues - if you don't want them anymore then ring the company up and get them to remove your name from their mailing lists. It's very hard to raise a smile when you've just driven 3 or 4 miles along narrow, twisty lanes dodging inane tourists, horse riders and typical bumpkins (farmers who think they also own the roads which connect their land!), finally reaching your hovel just to be told that you no longer want anything to do with catalogue companies! You then decide to hurl a load of abuse at us because it's something else that you've got to recycle...
Those large cumbersome parcels which look awkward to carry ARE in fact heavy! If you can just tear yourself away from watching Jeremy Kyle for a few seconds, yes we WOULD appreciate some assistance over here. Open a gate or door perhaps. Better still, lock your bloody dogs away instead of picking them up whilst trying to sign for your items (Only applies to those of you that can actually write your name and sadly so many of you are unable to perform even that simple task!). Strangely enough,we don't all see the funny side of getting our ankles and fingers bitten by cuddly little pooches!
One last point; If you would like us to leave your parcels in your shed, greenhouse, garage, stable, swimming pool or other extravagant outbuilding that you've wasted your 'hard earned' money on, then have the the courtesy to leave the door to that building open. Unfortunately we're not allowed to kick your doors in or smash your windows. Yes it is a shame isn't it?
By: Delbert D.Rivers
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When overstretched they would employ temp drivers. These temps wouldn't have the same insurance as the regulars, so would not be given any package listed as worth more than a certain amount. Instead they would be told to leave a note without knocking.
It was also not uncommon for drivers to just leave notes if the parcels were heavy or a hassle to carry, or if it was for a high number in a block of flats. Contrary to what has been said here, we got paid salary, with no penalty for failed delivery. I even know drivers who considered it a perk to 'acquire' a parcel once a month or so.
The big problem is that drivers are paid poorly, and not incentivised to do a good job, especially when the company itself is cutting so many corners anyway.
Sadly Delbert here seems to epitomise the worst side of the driving community. Some of us were more courteous despite everything. It certainly isn't a great job, but its better than some.
I have a vague idea of the delivery driver's lot and it isn't pleasant. I am led to understand that some courier firms allocate only sufficient time for the driver to drive at the speed limit between drops: with no allowance for traffic lights; finding addresses the sat nav can't find; congestion etc. Which of course means that couriers are under time pressure all day.
How hard can your job be? Drive a bit, deliver a bit, drive a bit more...it can't be that hard.
Why can't people just get on with their jobs instead of complaining about it incessantly - how boring!
Clearly Dilbert needs a job that uses his brain rather than his brawn - come on people let's find him one - suggestions anyone?
yas are all little freaks haaaaa haaaa
Perhaps the miserable, scruffy, charmless oaf who hammered on my door this morning, wordlessly shoved a parcel under my nose followed by an electronic writing gadget and the grunted comment "Sign, print yer name and the time", snatched it away before I have finished and stalked back to his van deserved a hearty "Thank you, thank you so much for delivering my torn and wet parcel two days late, and may I say what a warm and delightful person you are"?
DRWHO