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You don't need to buy all these things

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As we are fed our daily helpings of advertising, I felt it was really important to offer people out there some technology advice on what to buy.  First of all, on the subject of Flat Screen televisions. Simply put, a flat screen television does not enhance your life, or make you sexy or help in any way with feeling good about yourself.  It is still the same old crap on all 999 channels and unless you subscribe to HD, makes no difference to your viewing pleasure.  Even if you do subscribe to HD, it still makes no difference, crap is still crap whether you view it in HD or not.

There, now you see - that's helped a lot hasn't it - you don't need that 50" horror taking up room in your house.

I'd like to further help you with other technology decisions you may feel you need to make over the course of the next few days and months.

... you don't need an iPhone, MP3 player, Sat Nav

Next, I'm sorry to be the first to tell you but you don't need an iPhone.  You don't need to search the Internet on the move, or pretend you're an Apple zealot.  You don't need a touch screen telephone/MP3 player/Sat Nav device and nobody thinks you look cool with one either.  So there.  Read a book on the tube/bus/train instead.

I have decided, on your behalf, that no one needs to buy a Sat Nav device at all, never mind an iPhone.  You don't need one in your car or to carry one around with you.  Buy a map instead, they are much better, more accurate and tell you more than a Sat Nav device ever could.  You don't need a Kindle or a Sony Reader either now that I think about it.  They use digital ink, but say printers ink is better, and a book is friendlier, nicer to look at and aesthetically more pleasing and who needs to carry 50 novels around with them.

Modern living suggestions, jumping listening to music Someone's trying to extract your hard earned cash...

The last thing I want to help you with is watching TV or videos on your mobile phone.  Don't.  It's stupid a you'll probably hurt your eyes.  It's pointless and it won't have escaped your sense of irony that in the house the flat screen TVs are getting bigger yet they want you to watch programmes on a screen about a millionth the size!  Someone's trying to extract your hard earned cash by trying to convince you that you need those things or that you won't be hip, happy and sexually gratified without them.  It's not true here are a few better things you can do with your money.  Buy a book and read it.  Anything by Stephen Fry is good.  Listen to some music on a CD or Vinyl recording, it's much better than MP3s.  Led Zeppelin, Joni Mitchel, Van Morrison, Beethoven and Arcade Fire are perfectly good.  Which reminds me to remind you to go out and buy a proper Hi-Fi with separate bits, and make sure it's British, because we make the best Hi-Fi.  Anything by Linn, Shearne or Meridian is acceptable.

There you go, read books, listen to music and best of all have a chat with your friends, family or colleagues, and don't talk about Big Brother or anything on the TV or anything the newspapers tell you.  That way you'll be happy and fulfilled - or not.

By: Pimptastic


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Mr H

Mr H

While I agree with phone is a phone I just use a phone for ringing and texting and don't bother with upgrading etc. But people may change t.v due to lack of room I buy dvd's because I don't drink or smoke so watching films is my vice that or reading haha. But Sat-navs do save people alot of time on journeys espeically if they are oging to be driving for ages it takes away of the hassle of getting lost (most times)
Mr H
20th Oct 14 10:22

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pet

pet

Thanks for the nag there, mum! What's wrong with having nice things? No we don't 'need' them but having nice possessions makes life a bit more pleasurable. I'm not saying books and maps and music aren't great, but you've just automatically classed everyone who likes technology as brain dead tv soap watching zombies. A bit judgemental for someone who's trying to show us all how intellectual you are?
pet
21st Apr 14 07:10

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Larry Dart

Larry Dart

I just bought a sat-nav for a particular reason - I play sports matches away in areas I'm unfamiliar with, and matches are mainly in the evenings. Rather than try and navigate on dark roads in places I've never been, the sat-nav takes me there without fuss or risk.

Driving at night trying to find your way around streets (many of which seemingly have no name) isn't a great experience.

But I agree about reading book on a tablet. A real, physical book is better.
Larry Dart
23rd Sep 13 14:13

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yankee

yankee

Sadly, not many people know exactly what they really want so they end up copying each other's behaviour like sheep. I thought the Chinese were the worst but the Brits are no better coz you lot all want the same things i.e. iphones ipads big TVs, too!
yankee
23rd Sep 13 11:47

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content

content

two years ago I made a drastic life change by selling the bemmer and downsizing the house. I put up with the nasty snide comments from work mates and decided to let them fight it out for number one spot. Now I stand back and listen to all the back stabbing thats going on and laugh, funny enough I've been left alone and now they come to me for advice and the occasional whine about who's getting all the overtime. I did not realize just how stressed I must have been compared to all those I'm working with now. best thing I ever did, not trying to impress everyone with a life style I couldn't afford.
content
28th Jun 13 16:49

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Miss Moneypenny

Miss Moneypenny

All what this blogger write here is TRUE!!
Miss Moneypenny
24th Dec 12 15:02

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grumpyoldwoman

grumpyoldwoman

Listening to Jessie J's current song the other day, about living life like every day is your last, it struck me that I've never really thought about this philosophy of life much before.

When I did I came up with the following.

You wake up tomorrow and live the day like it's your last.......

You wake up the day after tomorrow and realise the following:

1/ You have no money left because you spent loads of it and gave the rest away.

2/ You have no job because you told the boss where to stick it.

3/ Lots of important people in your life aren't speaking to you as you told them exactly what you think of them.

4/ You have gained about 4lbs after stuffing your face all day.

5/ You have a monumental hangover after drinking yourself into oblivion.

Does it really seem like such a good idea?
grumpyoldwoman
18th May 12 16:51

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Fred E

Fred E

Nigel you have misjudged me badly. Why do you imply I am lacking in common sense?
Fred E
9th Dec 11 18:09

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Fred E

Fred E

You must have more money than common sense to buy Apple stuff. Grossly overpriced.
Fred E
9th Dec 11 00:47

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Common Sense

Common Sense

To the author (Pimptastic)

You, sir, are a moron. I will now explain why.

Your first comment regarding televisions is a fair enough point, some TV's are over the top these days. Unfortunately, your intelligence seems to decrease over the course of your post.

I own an iPhone. I do not NEED it but one of the aims of technology over recent years has been to make things easier. So, regarding your suggestion that I read a book on the train, I can use my iPhone or iPad and do just that. You also pass comment about not needing 50 titles in your bag, I accept this, but why not have the choice? I can pull out my iPhone, read a book, play a game, surf the internet, research information, even make a phonecall! all on a device that takes up less space in my pocket than my wallet.

I do not want to carry a book around in the same way that I do not want to carry a map, I already have both in my pocket.

With regards to your suggestion to use a proper map. Apart from the size, the fact that you suggest that unfolding a map across your dashboard obscuring your view of the road and endangering other drivers, rather than have a small device give you turn by turn directions, is completely ridiculous.

Please refrain from being as much of a moron in future.
Common Sense
8th Dec 11 17:29

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furthermore

furthermore

Watch out for the next trick with computers in the very very near future, they will sell you a PC or Laptop which will have an operating system installed (no names mentioned) and that will lock the computer after a year until you pay a few hundred pounds subscrition charge for a code, if you dont you will lose all of your documents and access to the internet, which will drive most weak people insane with no social networking sites, they have been seriously looking into doing this and are planning right now, why sell software once when you can sell it again and again every year to make billions more, what are you going to do if you get locked out of your own laptop or office PC that you need desperately for your small business?
furthermore
16th Dec 10 07:43

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continued

continued

They will bring in a raft of new EU and UK Car and Driving Laws and at some point between one of your regular 3 year Driving tests they will decide that your car is older than a certain age and so does not have the most current up to date safety feature that came out at the start of the year, and take it off of you, or they will decide that it is too polluting because it is a 4 year old model, come on, for a while there to prop up the car companies, they allowed them to put the prices up by 2 thousand pounds, then to tell you that you could have a 2 thousand pound discount if you trade in your older car that was probably worth 4 grand anyway, so second hand cars became worthless(Garages told people they didnt want but would scrap for a fee) and we were still being overcharged by about 4 thousand on each new car, while a lot of not very clever people were tricked into thinking that the government actually gave money to car makers and that it was an amazing fantastic great deal.
Just means that you will have to save hard again as soon as you buy a new car, there wont be such a thing as a second hand car and the manufacturers will line up a row of University lecturers (AKA Expert witnesses/Industry Experts) on 3 thousand pounds an hour to advise government that it is actually good for the Environment to make lots of new cars and sell loads more.
continued
16th Dec 10 07:39

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1
continued from below

continued from below

HA HA, I'm keeping my 1988 Ford, so HA lol......um I dont think so pal, they will just start doing what they threatened before, taking all cars over six (6) years of age off the roads and scrapping them regardless of how few miles or how good a condition they are in, it will be like pass the parcel only it will be pass the car, and when the music stops, they will take your good car and crush it, so you lose your money and it is tough luck, any car over 2 years old will be refused a trade in and when you go for an MOT at 5 1/2 years, they will just keep the car and scrap it or send it abroad to Africa for sale on a RORO (Roll on Roll Off) car ship.
continued from below
16th Dec 10 07:38

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tell_it_like_it_is

tell_it_like_it_is

Just wait until the service spanner comes up on your dashboard in the new car, it will either turn the car to "get home mode" and cap your speed at 29Mph or it will completely de-activate your car and put a nice little pop up message on the touch screen that encompasses the Blu Ray player, GPS, Stereo and heater controls informing you that your car has been immobilised for your safety and convenience to prevent damage to the car and for your safety...then when you try to put on the radio for some music while you sit there or maybe use the GPS to find out roughly where you are in order to tell a Garage on the phone, it will tell you "currently deactivated" the hazard warning lights wont even work.
Then you will tell the guy in the Garage that you dont know where you are, he will say "why dont you just use your phone it has an ap (software application, available for download by payment and purchase only) you will tell him your phone is 3 years old and he will laugh and hang up the call on you.
After you have been pestered by the Police and they have called a tow truck, you should be about 900 pounds lighter after the tow and a quick connection to a laptop to turn off the vehicle service counter...the next new car you buy after that will just decide to shut down, as you will probably have to start paying for the privilage of driving a particular car makers cars, they will say that you have to pay an annual or monthly subscription in order to have the right use their "unique patented engine and windscreen wiper technology Experience" in line with current trading practices (money grab)and it will have a timer just like many factory and industrial machines now have (you have to phone up and pay, and they give you a code to unlock via the touchscreen) whats that , your car wont start because the engine management computer is confused, oh the GPS cannot locate a tracking Satelite so the car refuses to start....I see..
tell_it_like_it_is
16th Dec 10 07:35

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Gian

Gian

The best is you must have a 50" television screen , but then you have to get the smallest notebook ( laptop) Im glad that I am not a sheep!
Gian
30th Nov 09 09:03

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