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Picture this if you will. You decide to go to the cinema with your friends, spouse or partner to watch the latest blockbuster. You arrive nice and early, purchase your ticket and grab yourself the largest bucket of Popcorn you can find along with a refreshing drink then make your way to watch the film of your choice. You enter the theatre and make your way to your chosen seats and get settled. Slowly more cinema goers arrive and do exactly what you have just done, you sit through the obligatory adverts and forthcoming attractions, then the movie finally starts.
You then notice either the people at the back, side or front you start to rustle around in their bag, producing the largest noisiest packet of sweets/crisps or anything that has a crunch range decibel of about three rows and all you can hear is cruuuunnchhh followed by the nom nom nom. Eventually the noisy eaters have finished and you breathe a sigh of relief knowing at last no more added sound effects to the movie.
Then all of a sudden your chair starts to shake and you are horrified to discover that the selfish person sat behind you who also has left their manners at home, has unceremoniously plonked their feet (along with their dirty shoes) on the back of the chair next to you, so not only have you got someone's dirty feet next to you but all you can feel is the equivalent to someone kicking the back of your chair.
Then just as you think it could not get any worse the phone freak in front of you (the one who cannot go ten minutes without updating their facebook page) gets their phone out to add "I'm at the cinema" as their status and they just can't go for more than five minutes without answering a text message.
Don't even get me started on the ones who have to give their opinion during the movie and proceed to dissect every scene spoiling the film for those around them.
Finally I cannot forget the ones who are unable to tell the time and arrive ten minutes into the movie. I didn't fork out for cinema tickets and the big screen experience just to watch silhouettes walking back and forth.
Why can't the cinema stewards/staff be a little more understanding like provide crunch free bags for all noisy snack packets, clamp down on people putting their dirty feet up on the chairs, confiscate all phones if used in the auditorium (although that is a bit unrealistic but it's a nice thought), gag the ones who can't stop yapping for an hour an half (ok another unrealistic thought) and if the film has already started tough luck - you don't get in!
By: Lancashire Lass