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Rude and abusive disabled people

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I have always been very aware of difficulties faced by people who have mobility problems, and having been raised in a family with a disabled sister, I was always taught to offer assistance if needed.

Recently while visiting a gardening project for the disabled where there were several wheelchair users, I decided to have lunch in the restaurant.  A lady in a wheelchair was being served beside me, and appeared to be having some difficulty carrying her tray, I offered to assist her, was immediately drawn the most vile look ever, and told she could manage perfectly well, thank you.

Did that give her some sort of right to be abusive?

She then proceeded to drop the tray, spill her soup and then complain to the overworked lady serving on her own at the counter that it was her fault for not taking it to the table for her.  The lady serving then had to stop serving, clear up this mess, and take more criticism from this dreadful woman with a chip on her shoulder.  Yes this woman had a disability, she was in a wheelchair, but did that give her some sort of right to be abusive to everyone?

Person in a wheelchair After all this I will be very cautious on offering assistance to a disabled person in the future as this woman made me see that she clearly disliked able bodied people assisting her in any way, or did she just like having attention paid to her and offending other people?

Anyway, I will not be revisiting this gardening project again in case this unfortunate woman happens to be there and is still being abusive to the able bodied.

By: Gardener


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Desperate one

Desperate one

My daughter is mildly mentally retarded and she is very touchy about everything that is said to her. She is now 32 years old and its getting worse. Examples include: the word no. If she cant have her way she gets upset and starts to cry and storms out of the room making anyone in the room feel uncomfortable. She tries to run the home. She has lived with her grandma for over 20 years. Her grandmother has also allowed to have one of her other granddaughters to live with her. She wasn't happy about this. She is rude to her cousin and her children. She is very territorial after living with her grandma for over 20 years. She is jealous of her cousin's children. I dont understand her behavior. When she was a child she was very helpful and a happy little girl. I dont know what went wrong. She gets onto her cousin's kids making sure they take a shower, making sure they brush their teeth, she feeds them and thinks it's her responsibility. She has been told not to worry about having to take care of the children but, she continues to do it. If she is asked to stop she gets upset and starts to cry and storms into her room. She gets mad at her aunt because she feels like she pays more attention to the children then her. I could go on and on but, this is the main problem currently. HELP!!! Is anyone out there going thru the same thing???
Desperate one
10th Feb 19 15:57

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Baffled

Baffled

I care for a live-in handicap person in my home. I havi fix home cooked gourmet meals for a handicapp person daily for 6 years. The handicap person then won’t eat the food if he doesn’t feel like it, after I have already prepared it. In the past I said if you have specific meals you want fixed then make a menu, tell me what you want, I will go to the store. And get what you want. They did not ever do that so I continued to cook as usual. I get annoyed when I have prepared a nice meal and this person decided they don’t want chicken that day or whatever so they refuse to eat. Then I get in trouble with this handicap person relative because I am accused of “starving” the handicapp person. Which is a lie, I can’t force handicapp person to eat, and I can’t seem to please him.
Baffled
9th Jul 18 15:21

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Chelsea

Chelsea

Yes, soe people who are disabled have been babied and told that they are special and therefore are rude and mean as heck.
Chelsea
17th Mar 18 20:26

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Woods

Woods

Makes me angry that some disabled people think they have the right to act the way they do. I'm a wheelchair user and whenever anyone helps me I always thank them. I even let other wheelchair users pass. Can't understand why they can't just be nice and they think that everything revolves around them. People are actually surprised when I acknowledge they've done something for me. Takes nothing to be polite
Woods
26th Jun 17 19:34

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Clooooooo

Clooooooo

Disability does not give someone the right to be above able bodied people.
While at a bar, i was queuing with my friend. She was at the counter and i was trying to get to her for a while now. This lady in a wheelchair was queuing behind her. When i finally got to her the lady in the wheelchair started commenting on how i cut the line and everyone else pitched in and supported her. I kept explaining to her that im there for my friend who was IN FRONT OF HER. My friend even defended me and said i am with her.

Never been so pissed off in my life. Just because someone has a disability and is in a wheelchair doesnt mean they have the right to be that rude to people.

I get it, youre in a wheelchair. However, you should have the decency to be a normal nice person not some bitter human being.
Clooooooo
13th May 17 04:37

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Lindsay

Lindsay

This thread makes me sad, as a wheelchair user myself. While I am capable of doing pretty much everything independently (carrying trays, opening doors), if someone is nice enough to offer to help, I just smile and say thank you. Holding doors and helping people is just good manners, whether they are using a chair or simply have their hands full.

I'm not sure if it's just different here in the US? I think from knowing other chair users on both sides of the Atlantic, we get a lot of able-bodied people who stare and make remarks and ask inappropriate questions, so perhaps these people are a bit weary of it all. I try and see that these interactions are mostly just curiosity and not quite knowing the "right" way to start up a conversation. I try to keep in mind that just 5 years ago I didn't know this stuff either.
Lindsay
15th Sep 16 02:10

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Metalbones14

Metalbones14

I have just had an encounter with an electric chair user. She reversed that quickly, I had to jump out of the way. I asked politely, Did you look behind you? She said and then went off saying that I shouldn't 've been standing behind her, it's her own personal space.

I commented that before I walk backwards, I look.
She then said she thinks I'm some kind of weirdo and asked why I was standing behind her chair. Roughly 3 to 4 feet away.

I said just looking at the goods on the shelf in the shop. She then said, I don't think you were. I think you're a weirdo and strange.

If she ha, I'm sure i would've sustained some damaged hit my feet. If I had had a small child with me. WHat then? I do respect chair users. But this kind of behaviour......All it seems to be a few manners missing.

I use crutches as I have chronic arthritis in both feet. I have good days and bad days. Today, was ok. SO I left the crutches in the car. If it was a bad one, again, what then? It's an odd one. It's upset me as I do not want to fall out with a chair user, nor anybody able bodied
. I'm a peace loving guy.
Metalbones14
3rd Jul 16 15:30

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help me

help me

I work for a person that had a car accident and left him paralyzed. He has no use of his legs. And wears a bag for urine and bowel movements. He can't do anything for himself. He picks on all of us that works for him. He is the rudest nastiest person I know. No matter what you are doing he will rudely as that what ever he needs be done right now. He also treat his little step daughter the same way. He curses and yell. I will have to look for another job as he is making my life a living hell. He is mad at the world because he didn't have his seat belt on when the accident occurred. He is the nastiest person I have ever encountered. What is wrong with this person. And he will lie on anyone.
help me
6th May 16 00:23

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Aishi

Aishi

Most of the disabled people I have met are rude, selfish and nasty kind of people. As a support worker, It is nearly impossible to work with them as they are the most annoying people ever. I will stick to my old job.
Aishi
9th Apr 16 19:48

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RobertTheBrutal

RobertTheBrutal

When disabled people moan about wanting to be the same as everyone else...
Well get out of bed at 6:30 am, go to work, hand over your blue badge and mobility car....
I have glaucoma, spondylitis and arthritis, I could be registered disabled and suffer in agony for most part, but I still have a successful life working my way to be a company director after starting as a retail assistant...
I realise it's impossible for some...but a LOT of disabled people are so used to being given everything they require too easily...when they're capable of doing things themselves!!
"Disability" these days is a loose term...you no longer need to be restricted to a wheelchair.
RobertTheBrutal
25th Mar 16 03:35

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Max

Max

I was at a supermarket today, browsing items in an aisle. As I turn to walk the other way, I see a guy in a wheelchair who slams into me, and almost knocked me over. Instead of apologizing, he then tells me to watch where he's going when it was he who hit me, and I wasn't even walking at the time.

I've had another experience where a person in a wheelchair was talking to his friend at a movie theater, and I don't mean whispers. He was talking at full volume as if there weren't other people in the theater, trying to enjoy a film. I'm not making a generalization on folks in wheelchairs. I just wanted to say that I feel where you're coming from, Gardener.
Max
27th Dec 15 23:56

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Chris

Chris

People need to put themselves in other peoples shoes before making comments about them. I am in a power wheelchair and will never walk again because I have a motor neuron disorder. I have been walked into, nearly ran over, been made fun of from people that have no clue what it is like to be in a chair. Did it occur to you maybe all that lady needed was a little kindness to calm her down a bit. I can tell you it helps. I had to be put in the hospital because a lady that was parked and blocking the sidewalk refused to move her vehicle so I can pass. I could not just cross the street, it was raining, dark, very cold and not enough battery to turn around and go 6 blocks out of my way to get home, which I was only 1 block from where she was blocking me. I got frostbit on both legs and nearly lost both of them due to it. I went back after I was released from the hospital and told the lady what she nearly caused and her reply, "It is not my problem". I researched and found out it is illegal to park in a parking spot and block a sidewalk with an extended bumper,(full size extended cab truck with a hitch that stuck out another 6 inches while parking in a compact car only parking spot.). On my way home from work she would block the sidewalk, I called the cops, she received a ticket. She does not block the sidewalk anymore but I am a nagging b**ch as she calls me. I just smile at her when she calls me that. Another example, in line waiting to purchase my items, (waiting 15 minutes. I am next in line and the cashier says next, a man and woman walks right past me and puts their items on the counter, the cashier saw what happened and never said a word. I said excuse me I was next in line and was ignored. I asked for the manager and the manager was very nice, checked me out and assured me it would never happen again. While I was waiting for the manager the cashier made rude comments toward me. If you was not so fat you would not have to be in a wheelchair. I am not in a wheelchair because I am fat. Why I was the rude person that just wanted special attention on either one of these? What would you do if someone on purpose blocks your right away to the street in your car? What would you do if someone treated you that way at a store. The one that I don't understand is that a person will stand so close to my chair and when I accidently run over their foot it is somehow my fault. I stopped saying sorry because of other peoples ignorance. Don't block my path and shrug it off as oh well, don't treat me as I am invisible, don't put your butt in my face, or stand so close to my chair and prevent me from moving. Don't honk your horn at me as I pass a crosswalk just so you can get a few laughs, don't come stand in front of me and block me from seeing just so you can get a better view, don't look at me while walking and tell me you wish you had a chair like mine, don't look at me and tell me to have a seat over there, don't assume I am in a wheelchair because I am lazy, don't park in a handicap parking spot using your grandma's decal while telling me you are just going to be a minute to drop something off, don't run in front of me to get to the door just to slam the door in my face, don't nearly hit me in the crosswalk because you was looking at your phone or your light was green and you thought you had the right away, (ALL pedestrians have the right away, not just handicap), when I fall out of my wheelchair don't stand there, point and laugh at me, it is not funny, don't stand behind me and rest your foot on or play or kick the back my of my wheelchair, don't stand right over me and talk about personal and vulgar things on your cell phone, don't allow your children to play with my chair or lay in the floor next to it and then get mad at me when I ask you to please move your child away from my chair, don't run into a mud puddle to splash me on purpose, (damages my wheelchair). When people do stuff like that to me, it hurts and makes me mad. Just as you said, you will not go back there because you might see that lady again, maybe after being mistreated for so long she can't trust someone to help her out. I had someone do that for me once and threw my food in the trash and said if you did that more often maybe you would not be so fat. I am just helping you get started, laughed and walked away. I know not all people are mean but when you get treated badly so much it is very hard to trust someone. Instead of saying do you need help, say may I or can I help you? When someone comes up to me and say do you need help, I reply do I? When they look at me funny, I tell them why I said what I said. They see my point and we get a get laugh afterwards. When you see someone struggling you ask them if you can help them not if they need help. Someone struggling means they already need help.
Chris
22nd Jul 14 22:30

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collar

collar

Well, I'm at a loss as to why you feel the need to attack this vulnerable, unfortunate group of individuals. My colleague was beaten in the head by the so-called 'able-bodied' on the last year and I as a caring friend have advised my two other disabled friends not to go out of the house for their own safety. There are some friends of my older son who are disabled and it has enhanced his life for the better. Now my son goes to help them wherever possible. I am going through a rough time now because of head problems, and to help my son get his life back on track is a bit difficult to say the least. I have some letters from past friends to say what good he has done to them. He always helps the people with learning difficulties and not make sport of them, not that they would of minded.My son is very brave with all strong muscles.
collar
28th Jun 14 11:24

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Me and Mrs Jones

Me and Mrs Jones

Some people with disabilities or handicaps use them as an advantage to get preferential treatment over others. Some have pushed in front of me and when I have said there is a queue here I get a reply something like "I can't stand up waiting like you, I'm next" or something along the line where I am expected to go without so they can have more.

Not all are like this but there are some out there who are out to challenge the able-bodied people as it could be trying to make up for their handicap if they feel inferior.
Me and Mrs Jones
27th Jun 14 17:43

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boblet

boblet

Something smells in the state of bradistan. Councillors claiming disability for instance & Blue Badge scheme abuse. I bet a Mr Flowers has a badge & certain other councillors, hoping against hope for “respect”. People who abuse these schemes make normally decent people act badly towards people with genuine needs. These abusers hurt all the disabled & yet they are not spurned as they should be.
boblet
21st Nov 13 15:55

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