The Weekly Gripe

Gripes the News
The Soapbox
Gripes in the pipes
*

How we could live a happy, fulfilling life without a smartphone

0 comments  Add a comment

Smartphones.  Weren't they great at first?  Now, the evil soul suckers are literally killing us, tearing society part, destroying mental health and (...gripe will continue after ad...) charging us for the privilege.

People on a train all looking at their smartphone. Step on public transport and don't get your phone out.  Look around, you rebel.  You're literally anti-establishment, you punk.

You know what would be even more punk?  To sell your phone.  To buy a dumb phone, to quit WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook and every other service you never had 15 years ago.  To jump off the hamster-wheel of endless scrolling (actually designed, with the help of slot-machine developers, to keep you addicted, so they can force feed your feed with ads for crap you never wanted) and actually get your finite life back.

Has the smartphone and, and by extension social media ever really been 'social', really helped us?  Or has it just stirred up divisions that gave us super-divided politics, cancel culture, sex offenders welcomed in our public libraries (yes, really), conspiracy theories?

Not so fast!  At least an 'influencer' helped us buy a load of rubbish - not realising it was from the trash-end of China - which we couldn't return when it turned out to be built to the quality of a Christmas cracker's toy?

Oh, but those earth-shattering discussions about the blue and black dress and Donna's lost cat and that £3 broken child's toy someone we think we once knew (somewhere) keeps flogging will really be the days to reminisce over, won't they?

"But I need my smartphone for..."  No, darling, you don't.  You never did.

You can get a music player to clip onto your Rockstar jeans, browse the bookshop like you're in a romantic comedy, get your news from the radio, open your favourite paper with your favourite drink, people-watch from the train, you can get a really good camera and David Bailey everyone and everything interesting (sausage legs on the beach do NOT count) with snaps you'll frame and pass down.  A century later a hipster will find them in an antique shop and wonder who that cool rebel was.

You can -- perish the thought -- stick to your plans, meet your friend and spend the whole evening laughing, eating ice cream and watching the stars.  You might even remember it.  You'll be infinitely happier and sleep better, too.  It begins to happen within about a week of selling your smartphone.

Or you could just make Zuckerberg, et al richer.  I hear he needs a new hoodie.

By: Earthling


Leave a comment

FEATURES

Gripes the News
Gripes in the pipes
The Soapbox
spinner