Jealous ex-wives use kids as pawns
I find it unbelievable how women who are mothers of children can think it is OK to use their kids as pawns to try and 'get back' at their ex husband - as well as numerous other pain in the ass tactics to destroy his life. Simply because he has the audacity to be happy without her (and she led him a dog's life for years)!
I know of numerous cases where the guy has done nothing wrong but funnily enough, as soon as he finds a new woman - the ex-wife rears her evil head and decides to wreak havoc with his life and that of his new partner. Sad, childish, jealous and living in the past, these sad spongers will not let go.
Although I realise that a) not all women are like this and b) not all men treat their exes properly (and perhaps deserve some repercussions), in the case I am living through the ex-husband (my boyfriend) has tried to be the adult, been responsible and maintained the situation to his detriment.
Meanwhile the evil ex-wife has sat on her backside and done nothing constructive to help. She whinges and is disruptive (basically downright evil) at every opportunity and has never once been grateful that her ex-husband works his butt off to keep a roof over her and the kids' heads.
Of course she has never contributed a penny towards this, but will no doubt get a large proportion of the divorce settlement.
Is it right in a situation like this that she:
- Has a very wealthy boyfriend that she won't officially admit to (well isn't that convenient?)
- Has alienated various member of ex-husband's family from him - just to be spiteful
- Caused a major rift in his family
- Lies at every opportunity but accuses him of doing so (which he hasn't!)
- Makes every excuse to not work full time when there is no good reason why she can't
- Refuses to be adult or co-operate about the divorce or arrangements for the kids
- Threatens court at every opportunity, which is totally unwarranted
- Has gained unauthorised access to our home in the past (the kids let her in)
- Has hacked into email accounts
- Is generally a giant pain in the rear
Why can't these sad individuals realise that just because they hate themselves and have serious unresolved mental issues - they don't have to screw up everyone else's lives (including their own kids) just to feel better. I pity this sad individual. Is anyone else going through / lived through this? We can't be the only ones!
Comments from visitors
This may be a case of Parental Alienation Syndrome. I only learned of PAS in the past few weeks. My son just turned 18. Had I known better, I could have taken legal intervention action and sought forced legal help for my son. Obsessed Alienaters like my ex-husband use cult type tactics to get the child to become totally alienated from the other parent (me). The child is the one who suffers in the end. Children who experienced PAS tend to have problems later in adult life with depression as well as some form of addiction. PAS doesn't happen over night. It's a process. I would try my best to live through it thinking I had a cruel, selfish ex-husband but it's more than that. I could go on further with my experience but I'm new on this site as I just came upon it by googling a phrase. Don't know how this works but you may reach out to contact me should you desire.
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Dear Katrina. Same applies as Gaz whatever your mother tongue is. However please accept my most humble opinion in English when I say Bollocks with reference your post 3-feb 20:15.
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Dear Guz. I am not sure how to spell the word bollocks in Spanish so you will have to bear with me with reference your post 3-feb 03:21.
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My sincerest gratitude to priestoflovespell for the entire assistance I have received. I am now on my way to recovery. My operation went well. I express my gratitude to priestoflovespell for the pregnancy spell I received beforehand. Without the pregnancy spell none of this would have happened, Now my dream of having a family with Michael is a reality. i dont know how to thank him for bringing this joy in our life Matt is a miracle that he made for us. God Bless Priestoflovespell@yahoo.com.
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I have bent over backwards for my husbands son since he came to live with us 7 months ago. I have no children of my own and I will be honest wasn't relishing the thought of taking on a 15 year old. Well it is crunch time now, thinks have really hit rock bottom. We have tried to set bouldries, sort out his schooling that his mother totally screwed up, he has no respect for anything, he is still smoking, is embarrassing to take anywhere because of his bad language, lies prefusely even when we have the evidence in front of us, he thinks he can treat my house like his mother allowed him to treat hers. Well enoughs enough, I don't have to put up with it and I won't, so he can go back to live with his mother. I am NOT putting up with this rubbish anymore!!!
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I am living this right now! My partners ex thinks her and their son are the most important people in the world - forgetting my partner has another son and one on the way! In the last couple of days she has hacked my partners email account, when asked why, she plays victim. She has gone to a solicitor because of my partners 'actions'...which consist of asking her to explain why she has hacked his account! This is only the tip of the iceberg. She constantly uses their son as a pawn, taking away access immediately when things don't go her way. She has threatened to kill herself in the past and take their son with her. She has attacked him and me in the street, almost been sectioned and I have even witnessed her leaving their son (who is 2 by the way) in the middle of the road to prevent my partner from leaving her house! I have finally bitten the bullet today and told my partner how I feel. I am pregnant and stressed and no longer feel mine and his life should be dictated to by this woman( ie: you can have 'son' at 9.30am (DO NOT BE LATE) the 1st Saturday of every month...oooh, now I've changed my mind, lets make it sundays!). After 2 years of dealing with this, keeping my mouth shut and bending over backwards, I am refusing to play ball any more. My partner will soon have 3 children and needs to devote time to all of them equally - not pander to her demands. Sounds cruels but the next 1st Saturday of the next month?!! Well lets just say - she can shove that where the sun doesn't shine! Luckily my partner agrees!
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I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex - who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect :) xxx
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Dear worried, Have you thought of having your son full time? obviously he likes being with you and is probably much happier. The courts do take into account the childrens feelings, and if he feels that he wants to be with you they will take this into account. Was the residency set by mutual agreement between you and your ex wife without the courts intervention, if so your son is old enough to decide where he wants to live and there is nothing she can do about it. If it was set through the courts then you will have to go back to them to sort it out, i'm afraid.Hang in there.
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Im at my wits end... My ex wife and i have been divorced for some time now and both been re married. We tolorate eachother just for the sake of our son, but you cant talk to her or reason with her. The problem i have is the new husband, hes very manipulative and its him that makes my life difficult, they recently split and the chane in my son was unbelievable, he got his spark back!! No more quick conversations on the phone, "yeah" "yeah" "ok love you too bye" But now lengthy conversations about his day.
When he left he stole my sons money and a number of his birthday presents and moved in with another woman.....lowest of the low stealing from an 8 year old but i let it ride!! wanted to break him but thought better of it. But for him to be gone was a step in the right direction.
But now after dropping my son home yesterday, his car was outside the house and the colour ran out of my sons face!! Shes taken him back..... despite having 50/50 residency of my son and spending a lot of time with him i feel that the negative influences on him are out weighing the possitives set by me!!
What can i do?? Solicitors cost a fortune and i havent got any money left! dispite having him 6 nights out of 14 i still have to pay the f%cking CSA.
if i go to social services ive heard its like feeding your kids to the lions!! DO i just leave it??
When he left he stole my sons money and a number of his birthday presents and moved in with another woman.....lowest of the low stealing from an 8 year old but i let it ride!! wanted to break him but thought better of it. But for him to be gone was a step in the right direction.
But now after dropping my son home yesterday, his car was outside the house and the colour ran out of my sons face!! Shes taken him back..... despite having 50/50 residency of my son and spending a lot of time with him i feel that the negative influences on him are out weighing the possitives set by me!!
What can i do?? Solicitors cost a fortune and i havent got any money left! dispite having him 6 nights out of 14 i still have to pay the f%cking CSA.
if i go to social services ive heard its like feeding your kids to the lions!! DO i just leave it??
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You might ask the 'witch doctor' to give you a few extra brain cells.
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Nativedoctor101@live.com
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It is incredibly stupid to put your email address onto public forums like this, you will now be beseiged by scammers and spammers, and you are just the sort of gullible and vulnerable peron who will fall for such scams ..... as you've proved!
Add this scammer to the list too :
Nativedoctor101@live.com
Nativedoctor101@live.com
Nativedoctor101@live.com
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Jannet watson - 28-Nov-11 12:01
i'm an ex wife. i did the leaving. oh how i wish i could find a 'jealous ex husbands' gripe!
my lovely ex (yes thats sarcasm) did everything he could to make me feel worthless, while we were married and after i left him, yet had the nerve to tell me when i changed my mind and realised i had made a mistake, i could go back. yeah right. i was gonna go back to a miserable, boring, fat and smug git, when i had on offer a hot, funny, good looking man that loved me like mad and wanted me to have my own life!
ex uses the kids against me at every turn. his mother tries to feed my kids poisonous comments about me at every turn. his g/f is equally as bad.
im far from jealous. i have the better life, im happier than i have ever been. if anyone is jealous, its my ex. he never liked me having a life or seeing me happy when we were together, so why would he like it now, when he thought he was perfect and i couldnt do better than him.
yes i know i hurt him when i left. but it is no reason to do as he does and use the kids against me. he clearly isnt putting them first, even when they have concerns, he doesnt address them, and when i tell him their concerns, he has a right go, claiming he is putting them first and that i know nothing about how they feel.
my lovely ex (yes thats sarcasm) did everything he could to make me feel worthless, while we were married and after i left him, yet had the nerve to tell me when i changed my mind and realised i had made a mistake, i could go back. yeah right. i was gonna go back to a miserable, boring, fat and smug git, when i had on offer a hot, funny, good looking man that loved me like mad and wanted me to have my own life!
ex uses the kids against me at every turn. his mother tries to feed my kids poisonous comments about me at every turn. his g/f is equally as bad.
im far from jealous. i have the better life, im happier than i have ever been. if anyone is jealous, its my ex. he never liked me having a life or seeing me happy when we were together, so why would he like it now, when he thought he was perfect and i couldnt do better than him.
yes i know i hurt him when i left. but it is no reason to do as he does and use the kids against me. he clearly isnt putting them first, even when they have concerns, he doesnt address them, and when i tell him their concerns, he has a right go, claiming he is putting them first and that i know nothing about how they feel.
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happy ex wife! - 1-Nov-11 20:29
I am an Ex-Wife, And I know first hand how much hurt goes both ways.
My Daughters have grown up without thier Dad by his choice. Even though he tells EVERYONE I took his rights away. Truth is I took him to Court trying to force him to see our girls. I ask for him to spend 2 hours a week to start off, ( he had not had them in over 2 years) But He REFUSED he finaly agreed to 1 hour a week. BUT HE DIDN'T SHOW UP !
Yet he gets online and runs me down every chance he gets. Blameing me for him Not seeing his girls and for the girls Not wanting to see him now that he has spent more time away from them without so much as a phone call . Not even on thier Birthdays or Christmas.
He has resently caught up on child support, only because the child support office froze his Passport! He was behimd since 2007 and caught up in 8 days all back support. That meens he could have done that at anytime he wanted to. He would rather PAY for women in the Philliphines to be his wifes. This is the real horror for my girls to know he would rather do that then help suport them or spend time with them. BTW He got our Business we spent 15yrs building and our only form of income in the divorce. I had to try to find a way to suport them on $ 10.00 an hr job.
My Daughters have grown up without thier Dad by his choice. Even though he tells EVERYONE I took his rights away. Truth is I took him to Court trying to force him to see our girls. I ask for him to spend 2 hours a week to start off, ( he had not had them in over 2 years) But He REFUSED he finaly agreed to 1 hour a week. BUT HE DIDN'T SHOW UP !
Yet he gets online and runs me down every chance he gets. Blameing me for him Not seeing his girls and for the girls Not wanting to see him now that he has spent more time away from them without so much as a phone call . Not even on thier Birthdays or Christmas.
He has resently caught up on child support, only because the child support office froze his Passport! He was behimd since 2007 and caught up in 8 days all back support. That meens he could have done that at anytime he wanted to. He would rather PAY for women in the Philliphines to be his wifes. This is the real horror for my girls to know he would rather do that then help suport them or spend time with them. BTW He got our Business we spent 15yrs building and our only form of income in the divorce. I had to try to find a way to suport them on $ 10.00 an hr job.
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mother of sweet girls! - 1-Nov-11 05:15
I have been divorced for about 4 years now and i am now re-married to a loving woman, But my crazy ex-wife will not quit using our children as pawns. I am not a bad person. I just dont have any money what so ever, and will never have any. I have many health problems and was trying to sign up for ssi and some how my ex got it turned down. this is just one thing, i have so many more things that she has somehow stuck her nose in and got mest up for me. I am on the brink of killing my self. I have had enough. I love my children. I need help with the everyday crap that she comes at me with on a daily bases, I need a lawyer and I can not afford one at all. every one that i go to wants money I dont have and can not get. I dont have help, or anyone around that can help. what can i do. keep putting up with her crap and end up behind bars, come on enough is enough. help................................................................if there is any one who can help please contact me through my email arwnaw@yahoo.com
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Wow, I thought I was the only person going through hell, so glad I've just found this.
I got married 2 weeks ago this saturday and my partners ex of whom he has a five year old daughter with turned up with her family and dragged her daughter home, she was a bridesmaid and started on me and my family at our wedding reception. Previous to this she has caused all sorts of trouble and now since coming back from honeymoon she has emigrated with the child, which we knew about but has not let us know she arrived safely and never let us say goodbye, she has been bad mouthing us to all sorts of people and I am so sick of it!!
I got married 2 weeks ago this saturday and my partners ex of whom he has a five year old daughter with turned up with her family and dragged her daughter home, she was a bridesmaid and started on me and my family at our wedding reception. Previous to this she has caused all sorts of trouble and now since coming back from honeymoon she has emigrated with the child, which we knew about but has not let us know she arrived safely and never let us say goodbye, she has been bad mouthing us to all sorts of people and I am so sick of it!!
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Kids these days are used as pawns. We are treating humans as commodities; what's the difference between this and the Slave Trade we used to have?
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This forum is called "jealous ex wives" not "whinging first wives" !!!!
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Kids should never be used as pawns. I have tried to explain this many time to my ex-husband of 14 years and his wife of 6 years. Our marriage did not work out. In the divorce we agreed a 50 / 50 split of finances and my ex paid for childcare to enable me to work. I earnt considerably less at the time. We both love our children I am sure but their dislike for me and how I live my life has been a constant problem for the last 5 years. Along with issues around paying maintenance. Etc. For example we used to have direct arrangement. My ex came to me one day and halved the amount take it or leave it. I took it and explained that I would request independent csa review alongside. He ended up being told to pay more as they saw him less than 52 days per year. I have never regretted the decision for us to divorce other than the constant harassment I was getting from his wife. Sometimes when he was out of the country. Other than maintenance I have never asked my ex husband to financially contribute to anything. Trips. Parties. Clothes etc. As every penny given the children have. It does not finance my life. I have made this clear over the years. I have taken them all over the world. Working full time all along. The children have turned out great thanks to all of us but parent wise I have been forced to send warning letter banning harassing me. Emails. Texts. Facebook comments on Childs pages. Calling me at all hours when I went away for a weekend and an adult friend stayed with them. Children are 17 and 18. Recently my daughter had problems with her pc she asked me to fix. Clearing logs I saw one message of many with her stepmum and was sad to see the comments. I am due to marry next year and she is very interested in this. Asking my daughter questions. I stopped looking when I saw what it was. I offered mediation they are not interested. At least they can not cause me any direct upset but I have pointed out over and over again that we need to get along for the children. They are not nor should they ever be pawns. They are 20 miles away and never see them. I gave never stopped access. Used to drive them bi weekly.
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Suppose I just need a little advice... will try to be as brief as possible.... I have been with my partner for 6 years, he has a son who is 10 and I have a son who is 9, he was never in a relationship with his son's mother and they were both yong when his son was born! my partner has been there for his son ever since he used to have him a few nights in the week and every other weekend.... yes you get whats coming.... ever since we got together she has done nothing but be a pain in the backside...... she even stopped all contact for 18 months (this ended up in a small family court!) which gave him axcess ever other weekend! now every time he has his son it is a nighmare as they cant come to my house has to go to his mums and she bad mouths me whatever oppertunity she has! She has aleady said to my partner she will never be let me have anything to do with their sons life.... witch is silly really as whenever my partner has his son we go out for day trips and both boys get on well and his son is always giving me a cuddle and joingin in games etc this has been going on for coming up to 6 years and I know people may think I am being selfish but I honestly am not it is just when there is an occassion like a wedding or something we cant go as a family as she always puts a spanner in the work... the newest one is both boys have started football for different teams and now she has said that it is my partners job to do all matches and all training runs meaning we will have no weekends together! my partner just srugs it off and yes I am happy he see's his son every weekend now it just means we cant as a family do anything! again as I am writing this I feel terrible as my son is my life like my partners son is his life but I am happy to share this with my partner! I dont want to be my stepsons mother he has one and although what she is doing to us she is noway a bad mum in any other ways..... to throw a spanner in the works I have just found out I am pregnant and am wondering how this is going to go for both our boys.... I can already imagine what she will have to say to my step son am I just living in a dream world or should i expect more support from my partner or am I over reacting or is this relationship never going to work! please honest advice!
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