She doesn't want me back
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I've been married for only two years, I'm 34 years old and my wife is 31. We have been together for a total of 5 years. Up untill eight months ago everything was just normal compassionate sex, caring thoughts etc., just plain enjoying our life. She then started to find fault with relationship when there was nothing wrong. She would say "things just don't seem right" and she wouldn't explain any further. I thought she was just going through a phase so I let it slide, but about two months ago I noticed she was receiving lots of text messages from "work". At the same time I also noticed that our cell phone bill had skyrocketed and when I examined the bill closer, I discovered that she was texting 600-800 times a month and all to the same "work" person. |
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The next time she received one at night I looked at the phone and the text message said "Alright". I then looked at what she sent in her text and it said "Enjoy bowling, think about me a little". Another message said "make sure to delete all your messages". So I asked her directly what was going on (without showing her the phone of course). I said "Is there anything going on between you and this person?". She said "No, why do you ask?", to which I replied, "Are you sure, no flirting, nothing at all?". Well of course she denied anything was going on so I showed her the phone and her mouth quite literally dropped. |
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From that day on there were many more lies, so I left her and she hasn't made any attempt to get me back into her life. After all the horrible words and the lack of trust she decided to ask for a divorce. As it happens we both work at the same place and one night I ended up having a "fling" with someone else from the same company. I felt bad about what I had done so I was completely honest with her about it, her only response was "Did you were a rubber?" I had at least expected her to be a little bit upset, but it would seem she has already moved on and no longer cares. Since all of this has happened I just can't eat. I have gone from 195lbs to 165lbs in just two months. I love her more than I have ever loved any person, but at the same time have never been lied to way that she has lied to me. I've tried to stay positive about who I am, but I can't help wondering if anything was going on then and is she doing anything now. I'm very broken hearted and I wish the pain would just go away and let me get on with my life. Can anyone help? By: Broken hearted |
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Comments from visitors
Listen mate im in the same situation as you, only my girlfriend was texting her ex about them two having intercourse and saying we can make up for it next time, so I asked her about it and she said it was nothing. I decided to stay with her but ever since I find it kind me hard to trust her,i don't know what to do!
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I have a 1998 chico golf and I lose power when I go up a hill although I have set the timimg right. What can cause the problem
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I have just discoverd that my wonderful loving caring fiance of 2.5 years had recently contacted an ex from 5 years ago. She was just a fling to him, they broke up in spectacular fashion and she harrassed his friends for many months after. So if they broke up on very bad terms, why did he feel the need to contact her. I am devastated. He is so embarrassed and remorseful and said he doesn't know why he did it and he would never have met up with her. He realises our relationship is hanging on by a thread. I am 41 years old, he is 36. He had nothing when I met him. I have a beautiful home, good job, nice car, good money. I found it hard to trust anyone again since my first marriage (my husband left me for my sister). So why, when my fiance is now in a financially secure relationship, beautiful home, successfully self employed (all since meeting me) does he go and do this. He embarrassingly said it was the element of "naughtiness". But he repeats over and over that he hates her and she's a slag, that he contacted her to "see how she was doing". He told me that the last contact they had was 5 years ago when they split up but I looked at his old email messages and saw they had a flirty conversation a year ago (he claimed he forgot about that conversation!). We had been together 1.5 years by then and already moved in. I can see he is remorseful and both myself and his friends really do believe he hasn't seen this girl, its just been message contact, but were would it have led to if he had not been found out?..... I am in pieces and just feel like contacting one of my exe's just to get even :o(((
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I'm sorry this happened to you. But don't feel alone. This sort of thing has happened to THOUSANDS of other people. Now - as for her - let her go. She is not worthy to shine your shoes, dear one. Anyone who would repay the caring you have shown with this deceit is not worthy of you or any attention from you in any way whatsoever.
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Your lucky you are still young and only 5 years together ........I'm 53 and my ex done the same and worse on me after 27 yrs of marriage. She's gone just 4 years now and though I loved and trusted her 100% she deserves and commands zero respect now . It was and still is a bit tough at times but I am moving on and I know you will too . There is plenty of worthwhile life expieriances out there no matter what age you are . If one or other partner decides to stray for whatever reason and is caught , the relationship is doomed . Suspicion and doubt will destroy the trust required for a good relationship. Better ending it then living in a life of mistrust. You are in a better place now , go enjoy the short life we all have , no need to put up with lies and deception.
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hey man....i can't help but can understand what your going through......i'm sorry and reading your storey is helping me understand my situation better.
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There appears to be an ever increasing number of man-haters posting to various blogs on the net, they seem scarily a lot more vocal than men who have been treated badly. Betrayal works both ways, I know, i've been there.
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Rider of the Apocalypse - 30-Apr-10 12:58
justin timberlake , what goes around comes around.
i remember dating this girl for 4 years along time ago and she was cheating on me. we split 6 to 7 years ago, just heard wind that her husband cheated on her and left her with 2 kids for another woman.
i remember dating this girl for 4 years along time ago and she was cheating on me. we split 6 to 7 years ago, just heard wind that her husband cheated on her and left her with 2 kids for another woman.
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Hi
You must have really loved her and she betrayed you. It's obvious she doesn't care for you.
My husband did the same thing to me. I had a bit of a breakdown as a result. Try and pull yourself together and forget about women for a while and find something that interest you.
You must have really loved her and she betrayed you. It's obvious she doesn't care for you.
My husband did the same thing to me. I had a bit of a breakdown as a result. Try and pull yourself together and forget about women for a while and find something that interest you.
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My sympathies - 20-Apr-10 19:13
Part 1
Thanks for posting that. It's really good to exhale your feelings and not just to keep it. The same (ex doesn' want me back) just happened to me and I feel terrible. There're some cells in my brain missing to understand why she doesn't want me anymore. It's so unlogical for me and everything felt different in my head before.
So, I decided to leave the feeling that I have towards her, the way it is. It's not bad, nor good, cause it's just the way it is. This person is my number one and why should I try to be busy and spend time with somebody else. One day, it all comes back to you and you will be just alone with the problem, so don't run away now.
How many people in your lifetime will you donate your faith (it's a present you make)?Were you designed to give your trust to random people, every date, any of all relationships? The answer is (in my opinion), yes and no. If you're looking for a deeper understanding of faith (that I call LOVE), then you should consider that there're not too many people in your life who will receive your faith completely. Once you start thinking like that, you'll see that you don't have to push away the person that treated you like ...., cause this person is in your heart. It's like your child. If your son or daughter treat like ...., will you replace them? No, you can't, and so is a partner for you (in my opinion). How do you want to love somebody endlessly when you make it a condition that this person has to love you the same way? That is a condition and it's very demanding. All you need (again, in my opinion), is to believe!!!!.......
Thanks for posting that. It's really good to exhale your feelings and not just to keep it. The same (ex doesn' want me back) just happened to me and I feel terrible. There're some cells in my brain missing to understand why she doesn't want me anymore. It's so unlogical for me and everything felt different in my head before.
So, I decided to leave the feeling that I have towards her, the way it is. It's not bad, nor good, cause it's just the way it is. This person is my number one and why should I try to be busy and spend time with somebody else. One day, it all comes back to you and you will be just alone with the problem, so don't run away now.
How many people in your lifetime will you donate your faith (it's a present you make)?Were you designed to give your trust to random people, every date, any of all relationships? The answer is (in my opinion), yes and no. If you're looking for a deeper understanding of faith (that I call LOVE), then you should consider that there're not too many people in your life who will receive your faith completely. Once you start thinking like that, you'll see that you don't have to push away the person that treated you like ...., cause this person is in your heart. It's like your child. If your son or daughter treat like ...., will you replace them? No, you can't, and so is a partner for you (in my opinion). How do you want to love somebody endlessly when you make it a condition that this person has to love you the same way? That is a condition and it's very demanding. All you need (again, in my opinion), is to believe!!!!.......
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Part 2
..........Don't listen to the words that say that there're many other beautiful partners outside and you just have to go and find them. Your feelings might be overexaggerated but there're still your feelings. Stick with it and take responsibility for them. It might be weird and peculiar, but that's the truth right now. If you put something on top of it, the problem will always remain the same and be just subconscious. Instead of thinking 'now I have to meet new people or travel or do something to forget about the person', just enjoy the positive feelings about your ex, write them down. Imagine yourself next to her and write down your most romantic dream. If it's your dream, make it true. Remember that you can communicate with people without speaking to them. Tell her that you love her (again, without speaking), enjoy that love and try to hug her and give her more love and more affection. If your words are true and you're convinced, you'll do the right thing. The results will follow believe me. It's all about faith. You must believe in the love between the two of you. Unconditionally!! That's why you are on earth, to love somebody. If you still love her, make use of the love and let it out. Not by talking or writing to her but by imagening her next to you. What you want will arrive, it just may take longer than your actual patience is trying to tell you.Learn from your patience, make mistakes, stand up, but please, face it!!
..........Don't listen to the words that say that there're many other beautiful partners outside and you just have to go and find them. Your feelings might be overexaggerated but there're still your feelings. Stick with it and take responsibility for them. It might be weird and peculiar, but that's the truth right now. If you put something on top of it, the problem will always remain the same and be just subconscious. Instead of thinking 'now I have to meet new people or travel or do something to forget about the person', just enjoy the positive feelings about your ex, write them down. Imagine yourself next to her and write down your most romantic dream. If it's your dream, make it true. Remember that you can communicate with people without speaking to them. Tell her that you love her (again, without speaking), enjoy that love and try to hug her and give her more love and more affection. If your words are true and you're convinced, you'll do the right thing. The results will follow believe me. It's all about faith. You must believe in the love between the two of you. Unconditionally!! That's why you are on earth, to love somebody. If you still love her, make use of the love and let it out. Not by talking or writing to her but by imagening her next to you. What you want will arrive, it just may take longer than your actual patience is trying to tell you.Learn from your patience, make mistakes, stand up, but please, face it!!
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lve had this done to me .the truth is your better off without her .time will heal . l just think once there is betrayal and lies .things will never recover , and you will always be wondering what she will be up to next . you only get one life . you deserve better .
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Please help me to get rid of him, he is doing my head in
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I cant stand him no longer. He is a pest. James Cully is a pest. I used to love him now I dont.
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James cully is doing my head in he says he wants me back I dont want him back he is my personal stalker now he wont leave me alone. Iwant him out of my life when Iwas with him all we done was argue and I worried about him hanging around other girls. It is stressing me out I want rid of him but I cant seem to let know what should I do?.
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Nothing anyone says is going to make you feel better. SO I will just say this: Shes not WORTH you, you're a BETTER PERSON than her, and when you are finally able to look back and laugh at this, she'll be looking back with regret.
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I am sorry for you because I know what you are going through. It's like a death but worse. So you are grieving and all those other feelings that come along with this. But as I have found and as I am about to go through once again in my life as you are now, is the fact that loosing a loved one, divorce, etc, is a terrible time for anyone who loves.
I can tell you that it will be around 6 months(+-) before you can function correctly and normally.
Take this advice that I received one day that I think is right on.
You need an operation. You will die if you don't have this operation. It will take up to 1 year to recover from the operation that you must endure. But you have to have this operation.
Try to stay busy. Look to your family. Go to church. Remember that you are a good person and that there is nothing wrong with you.
Being on the receiving end of a broken heart is the most terrible thing a human can go through. Remember this though,... Someday everything will be okay. God made us like this for a reason. He made us be able to heal in time emotionally from things like this.
I hope this time passes quickly for you as I hope it does for me. Good luck.
I can tell you that it will be around 6 months(+-) before you can function correctly and normally.
Take this advice that I received one day that I think is right on.
You need an operation. You will die if you don't have this operation. It will take up to 1 year to recover from the operation that you must endure. But you have to have this operation.
Try to stay busy. Look to your family. Go to church. Remember that you are a good person and that there is nothing wrong with you.
Being on the receiving end of a broken heart is the most terrible thing a human can go through. Remember this though,... Someday everything will be okay. God made us like this for a reason. He made us be able to heal in time emotionally from things like this.
I hope this time passes quickly for you as I hope it does for me. Good luck.
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Hi there,
Well, I have been where you are now and my girl actually came back to me after a while. But what I realised was that I didn't respect her anymore because she lied to me and eventually we drifted apart. I have met other women after her and all brought different problems in to my life. What I find out in the last 2 years saved me from really making a mess of myself. The realisation that everything happens in our life for a reason and we do attract the good, bad and the rest. So on some unconcious level, you and me my friend,we both wanted this bad relationships. May be we were just trying to avoid the rejection or the lie and kept on thinking of it and attracted it into our life anyway. My advise is concentrate on the end result of what you wish to have in your life, really see it in your vision, is it a stable, comfortable relationship you are after, then try to see that in your head in detail, beleive me if you try on this, you are going to attract it and never look back. Write to me if you need anymore advise, last 2 years for me have been magical.kursat73@hotmail.com
Well, I have been where you are now and my girl actually came back to me after a while. But what I realised was that I didn't respect her anymore because she lied to me and eventually we drifted apart. I have met other women after her and all brought different problems in to my life. What I find out in the last 2 years saved me from really making a mess of myself. The realisation that everything happens in our life for a reason and we do attract the good, bad and the rest. So on some unconcious level, you and me my friend,we both wanted this bad relationships. May be we were just trying to avoid the rejection or the lie and kept on thinking of it and attracted it into our life anyway. My advise is concentrate on the end result of what you wish to have in your life, really see it in your vision, is it a stable, comfortable relationship you are after, then try to see that in your head in detail, beleive me if you try on this, you are going to attract it and never look back. Write to me if you need anymore advise, last 2 years for me have been magical.kursat73@hotmail.com
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Went through just about the same exact thing and BELIEVE ME, I fell extremely far due to the loss. 1. Grudge adultery isn't the answer. 2. Call on friends and family as much as possible. 3. Seek medical/chemical assistance if needed (I was completely against this my entire life but found something that gracefully assisted in me stabalizing enough to see through the fog of pain)
Ultimately who's to really say why this happens. Often we hear neglect is the cause. But aren't there plenty of people out there neglected who don't do this? I remember (ironically) watching the end of the Scott/Lacy Peterson trial with my wife of the time and they asked a jurer why did Scott kill Lacy? The jurer said he had no idea. The reporter said, "c'mon, because he wanted to have the affair". The jurer said, "well plenty of people have affair and don't go killing their spouse to do it". You have to look at it like that. ULTIMATELY this person is dealing with something in them and their inability to properly deal with the situation. This is why they sneak around. ULTIMATELY they don't know who they are, so they 'try out the waters' so to speak. Yes, it sucks for us who get all the blame as they try to justify their actions but ULTIMATELY we have to believe that we will be happier elsewhere and although we can't see it now, eventually we will discover that LIFE has dealt us a favor when we find love anew even if it ends up with someone else.
Ultimately who's to really say why this happens. Often we hear neglect is the cause. But aren't there plenty of people out there neglected who don't do this? I remember (ironically) watching the end of the Scott/Lacy Peterson trial with my wife of the time and they asked a jurer why did Scott kill Lacy? The jurer said he had no idea. The reporter said, "c'mon, because he wanted to have the affair". The jurer said, "well plenty of people have affair and don't go killing their spouse to do it". You have to look at it like that. ULTIMATELY this person is dealing with something in them and their inability to properly deal with the situation. This is why they sneak around. ULTIMATELY they don't know who they are, so they 'try out the waters' so to speak. Yes, it sucks for us who get all the blame as they try to justify their actions but ULTIMATELY we have to believe that we will be happier elsewhere and although we can't see it now, eventually we will discover that LIFE has dealt us a favor when we find love anew even if it ends up with someone else.
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Hi, I have been married for over 11 years, to cut a long story short, my husband is controlling and unreasonable, which includes walking away from company (when he sees fit) friends, relations and staying away overnight but then returning the next day all as if nothing had happened and he oblivious to the effect his behaviour has upon the family in general and myself in particular. He stayed away a few weeks ago, when my mum, myself and my husband were in a hotel having lunch, my mother was complaining about them not keeping our normal table (as we have had for years now) and I said don't complain mum, and then he took off before his second course lunch arrived, it was embaracing, what can I do about this? We also work in the same company. Has anyone got an answer, please I am in need of help and advice or shall I seek legal advice?
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