She doesn't want me back

I am sorry for you because I know what you are going through. It's like a death but worse. So you are grieving and all those other feelings that come along with this. But as I have found and as I am about to go through once again in my life as you are now, is the fact that loosing a loved one, divorce, etc, is a terrible time for anyone who loves.
I can tell you that it will be around 6 months(+-) before you can function correctly and normally.
Take this advice that I received one day that I think is right on.
You need an operation. You will die if you don't have this operation. It will take up to 1 year to recover from the operation that you must endure. But you have to have this operation.

Try to stay busy. Look to your family. Go to church. Remember that you are a good person and that there is nothing wrong with you.
Being on the receiving end of a broken heart is the most terrible thing a human can go through. Remember this though,... Someday everything will be okay. God made us like this for a reason. He made us be able to heal in time emotionally from things like this.
I hope this time passes quickly for you as I hope it does for me. Good luck.

Hi there,

Well, I have been where you are now and my girl actually came back to me after a while. But what I realised was that I didn't respect her anymore because she lied to me and eventually we drifted apart. I have met other women after her and all brought different problems in to my life. What I find out in the last 2 years saved me from really making a mess of myself. The realisation that everything happens in our life for a reason and we do attract the good, bad and the rest. So on some unconcious level, you and me my friend,we both wanted this bad relationships. May be we were just trying to avoid the rejection or the lie and kept on thinking of it and attracted it into our life anyway. My advise is concentrate on the end result of what you wish to have in your life, really see it in your vision, is it a stable, comfortable relationship you are after, then try to see that in your head in detail, beleive me if you try on this, you are going to attract it and never look back. Write to me if you need anymore advise, last 2 years for me have been magical.kursat73@hotmail.com

Went through just about the same exact thing and BELIEVE ME, I fell extremely far due to the loss. 1. Grudge adultery isn't the answer. 2. Call on friends and family as much as possible. 3. Seek medical/chemical assistance if needed (I was completely against this my entire life but found something that gracefully assisted in me stabalizing enough to see through the fog of pain)

Ultimately who's to really say why this happens. Often we hear neglect is the cause. But aren't there plenty of people out there neglected who don't do this? I remember (ironically) watching the end of the Scott/Lacy Peterson trial with my wife of the time and they asked a jurer why did Scott kill Lacy? The jurer said he had no idea. The reporter said, "c'mon, because he wanted to have the affair". The jurer said, "well plenty of people have affair and don't go killing their spouse to do it". You have to look at it like that. ULTIMATELY this person is dealing with something in them and their inability to properly deal with the situation. This is why they sneak around. ULTIMATELY they don't know who they are, so they 'try out the waters' so to speak. Yes, it sucks for us who get all the blame as they try to justify their actions but ULTIMATELY we have to believe that we will be happier elsewhere and although we can't see it now, eventually we will discover that LIFE has dealt us a favor when we find love anew even if it ends up with someone else.

Hi, I have been married for over 11 years, to cut a long story short, my husband is controlling and unreasonable, which includes walking away from company (when he sees fit) friends, relations and staying away overnight but then returning the next day all as if nothing had happened and he oblivious to the effect his behaviour has upon the family in general and myself in particular. He stayed away a few weeks ago, when my mum, myself and my husband were in a hotel having lunch, my mother was complaining about them not keeping our normal table (as we have had for years now) and I said don't complain mum, and then he took off before his second course lunch arrived, it was embaracing, what can I do about this? We also work in the same company. Has anyone got an answer, please I am in need of help and advice or shall I seek legal advice?

Hi, I have been married for over 11 years, to cut a long story short, my husband is controlling and unreasonable, which includes walking away from company (when he sees fit) friends, relations and staying away overnight but then returning the next day all as if nothing had happened and he oblivious to the effect his behaviour has upon the family in general and myself in particular. He stayed away a few weeks ago, when my mum, myself and my husband were in a hotel having lunch, my mother was complaining about them not keeping our normal table (as we have had for years now) and I said don't complain mum, and then he took off before his second course lunch arrived, it was embaracing, what can I do about this? We also work in the same company. Has anyone got an answer, please I am in need of help and advice or shall I seek legal advice?

Denise hi,

I believe it is a form of cheating. People that text don't hold out for very long and meeting up is inevitable.

It's devious if the person is already in a relationship. If there's nothing to hide then why not communicate down the phone?

I understand what you are going through, My live in boy friend for two and half years, has been text messageing a girl 20 years younger than him. I loved him with all my heart. I have lost weight and cried all the tears out. He still said he was not cheating, Is text messageing cheating even if you are not married?
Some one please tell me so I can rest......................

WOW!!! THIS SOUNDS LIKE MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT.... All I can say is hang in there. Love takes time to heal. Give yourself time to be by alone to figure things out. DONT and I repeat, DONT date anyone until all wound is heal cause it wont be a fair game to anyone. Its okay to grief about the situation. Let your emotions go. The faster you feel, the quicker you will heal. But do take your time to sort things out. Let her go, she is not worth it!!! Lets face it, she is just not that into you. But, she will regret it. Everything that she has done to you. Just know you deserve better, WAY BETTER!!! The sweetest revenge is to rebuild yourself into a better man. Get a hold of your life back and take control: Be sucessful, make that money,Work on YOU!!! I kno its easier said than done, but one day you'll look back and laugh at how stupid you were. And remember, '' What Goes Around, Comes Around." Take Care and its not the end of the world. Look to GOD for the answer. He knows how your life is going to be if you let him guide you.

the same thing happened to me about seventeen years ag> Iam now happily married to a wonderful woman an have two fanstic children. When one door shuts any door opens so chin up and get out there and find a good woman. regards brian

She betrayed you - she is untrustworthy - she lied - walk away. Sure it's tough, but believe me you will look back in time and be relieved that you moved on. Really.

I am going through the same thing! I was with my husband for 11 years and married for 4. At the moment I am pregnant with his baby and due to give birth in 4 weeks with our 1st child but 3 weeks ago he came home and told me that he didnt love me anymore. My whole world collapsed and I begged and pleaded to ask what we could do to save our marriage but he said it was too late and wanted a divorce. I went into shock, ran to the bathroom and continuously threw up. He left me sobbing my heart out lying on the bathroom floor. I then discovered 3 days later after he left his mobile phone in the car that he was having an affair. He still denies this and his family have all taken his side because they dont want to believe that he could do the same thing his dad did 20 years ago. I am so heartbroken and am back living at my parents house. It has been the worst time of my life and the only thing I can concentrate on is the birth of the baby. He is terrified of not seeing the baby and I shall not deny him that but he is going to miss out on so much. I have a gut feeling that this affair is still going on as he has made no attempt to try and get me back.I though my life was perfect and it has all come crashing down. I only pray that one day he will regret what he has done and how happy we were - but its too late!
I am going to love this baby so much - I only wish its daddy felt the same way about me.

Hello,
My husband is not cheating on me, he is just not in love with me anymore and wants out of the marriage. I love him so much and I just don't know how to survive this. It is a small comfort to know that somewhere someone else is feeling the same grief. Take care of yourself.