Ex-husband buys daughter's love
I have been divorced from my ex-husband for five years now and the first four years were absolutely horrible. My ex-husband never, every paid support back then and he's only just started paying in the past 6 months.
Yet, my daughter still goes to see him every other weekend and so on. I was awarded custody of her of her right from the beginning. I continued to allow her to stay at her dad's and tried my very best to be cordial to him, even though our marriage ended due to extreme abuse where I was concerned.
Things have become very difficult recently however. My ex-husband took my daughter to Florida last summer against the advice of two court orders and also without my knowledge. It took me around six days to figure out where she was then I was asked by his family to allow her to stay because my ex had planned to take her to Disney World! Boy, what kind of a choice is that?
I never do anything right. She constantly yells at me
I did let her stay so that she could go enjoy herself. Now, whenever she comes home from her dad's, she treats me like I'm HER child. I never do anything right. She constantly yells at me and makes me feel inadequate. I've talked to her over and over. I feel that she gets so spoiled rotten there that she knows I can never measure up to that. I can't give her motorcycles and horses and trips to Disney World.
I'm planning a trip to the beach with her this summer, (we live in Montana) and she was so excited. Tonight she comes home and tells me that she and daddy are going back to Disney World after she goes to Washington and that will be better.
I'm so discouraged ball all of this that sometimes I feel like giving up! Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?
By: Mariomom
Comments from visitors
How old is your daughter......is she old enough for counseling......you both could go. I know it is very hurtful....its like you can never be an equal parent......and you feel like a misfit.....and you are not....but that is how they make you feel.....it isn't fair that these rich exhusbands form our children this way......a child needs to know her mommy is a good mommy.....your ex is not very smart at all.....if he wants a healthy daughter he better take a look at what he is doing and creating.......because next will be as she gets older......her boyfriends.....her husband......will never measure up.......he is teaching her to never be fullfilled. He can extend his generosity.....but he also she extend his teaching to his daughter that she has a good mommy....and he should teach his daughter to love her mommy and enjoy anything and anytime they have to share together.......this is a smart father. I am sorry this is happening to you and your daughter.......these men should never do this.....so maybe counseling can help you and your daughter have a better understanding and a common ground. If you want to share more with me that would be fine.....my very best to you!
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very very similar problems - I have two children- hes been violent towards me in front of the children, abusive, aggressive. I have been taken to Court over forty times because he keeps changing the contact arrangements. I dont know why he is allowed to do this. Etc. I am very tempted now to go public because the damage to the children both emotionally and educationally is terrible. His behaviour is appalling and he treats the children terribly and oddly, spoiling etc. and yet he is still allowed to practise as a family law barrister!! I would love to hear from you.
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Solicitor or not, he made some new points that had not been touched or mentioned before on this type of gripe,
At first I didn't doubt that he was a solicitor, but after reading all your posts, I now have a little doubt, he mixed there up with their on one of the last lines, but even a solicitor could do this.
At first I didn't doubt that he was a solicitor, but after reading all your posts, I now have a little doubt, he mixed there up with their on one of the last lines, but even a solicitor could do this.
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Gainsborough lad. - 4-Jan-10 23:10
ES - not sure what you want me to clarify? I was making an observation. You have very little knowledge of the situation. Careful not to get your fact and fantasy confused - not good news for a solicitor!
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In spite of the arguments over who is, and who is not legally qualified, the OP's divorce / custody arrangements are subject to Montana State Law not English Law or so it seems.
Unless there is a member of that upstanding and august body, the State Bar of Montana contributing to Blog.co.UK, it seems to me that it would be more useful for participants to offer practical suggestions on how to deal with the practical and emotional problems instead of bragging about supposed legal qualifications.
Having said that, I believe that transporting a minor across State lines against restrictions imposed by a State Court is also a Federal offence, however I would happily defer to a US Attorney's Opinion on this
Unless there is a member of that upstanding and august body, the State Bar of Montana contributing to Blog.co.UK, it seems to me that it would be more useful for participants to offer practical suggestions on how to deal with the practical and emotional problems instead of bragging about supposed legal qualifications.
Having said that, I believe that transporting a minor across State lines against restrictions imposed by a State Court is also a Federal offence, however I would happily defer to a US Attorney's Opinion on this
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Mike / Jane your diversionary tactic/s is clearly not standing up? I have no reason whatsoever to come here and lie some of us have a very good moral compass and are not morally retarded.
Also your actions are very indicative of the great unwashed what you are clearly part of, I can tell you now that you would be the perfect respondent witness
( FOR ME TO CROSS EXAMINE THAT IS )
your mouth is clearly 15 seconds in front of your clearly sluggish "brain"
Also your actions are very indicative of the great unwashed what you are clearly part of, I can tell you now that you would be the perfect respondent witness
( FOR ME TO CROSS EXAMINE THAT IS )
your mouth is clearly 15 seconds in front of your clearly sluggish "brain"
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The English Solicitor - 4-Jan-10 10:54
There you see MikeP, you idiotic buffoon, I told you solicitors are not meant to be understood either verbally or in written context! I mean, who would pay three thousand pounds a go for somebody who could speak plain english!
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oldgrumpywoman - 4-Jan-10 10:40
The English Solicitor :
From your original posting, just this sums you up for a blustering uneducated idiot.
"as for I whom works the Family Law courts 7 days a week 52 weeks a year, "
The 'secretary' line doesn't work, solicitors are supposed to be educated people. You clearly are not. I doubt if you even have a profession.
From your original posting, just this sums you up for a blustering uneducated idiot.
"as for I whom works the Family Law courts 7 days a week 52 weeks a year, "
The 'secretary' line doesn't work, solicitors are supposed to be educated people. You clearly are not. I doubt if you even have a profession.
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Mike it is very clear that you are a FEMALE masquerading as a MALE, nonetheless could you please elaborate on how you reach the conclusion that "I"
( WHO WORKS THE FAMILY LAW COURTS 5 DAYS A WEEK AND HAS DONE SO FOR OVER 10 YEARS ) am a disgrace to my profession?
also as a solicitor I write nothing I have a Secretary for this? were you not fully conversant with this very simple fact? I can educate you also to the QUITE OBVIOUS fact that all Solicitor's, and Barrister's have what is called a " Dictation Machine " and a Secretary to write the transcript from any dictation? so I think you must have even below a mediocre level of intelligence as you have just made two ( SCHOOL BOY ERRORS ) as we say, furthermore my rhetoric is based on my professional opinion? what is your PROFESSIONAL OPINION? as I am assuming you are qualified such as I to hold a PROFESSIONAL OPINION? now you can chose to take a calculated risk and give the impression that you are a professional? and I will then ask entry level Family Law criteria ( for your benefit ) that Google will have no answer for.
SO YOU SHOULD REALLY GET YOUR OWN HOUSE IN ORDER.... JANE.................I MEAN MIKE.
( WHO WORKS THE FAMILY LAW COURTS 5 DAYS A WEEK AND HAS DONE SO FOR OVER 10 YEARS ) am a disgrace to my profession?
also as a solicitor I write nothing I have a Secretary for this? were you not fully conversant with this very simple fact? I can educate you also to the QUITE OBVIOUS fact that all Solicitor's, and Barrister's have what is called a " Dictation Machine " and a Secretary to write the transcript from any dictation? so I think you must have even below a mediocre level of intelligence as you have just made two ( SCHOOL BOY ERRORS ) as we say, furthermore my rhetoric is based on my professional opinion? what is your PROFESSIONAL OPINION? as I am assuming you are qualified such as I to hold a PROFESSIONAL OPINION? now you can chose to take a calculated risk and give the impression that you are a professional? and I will then ask entry level Family Law criteria ( for your benefit ) that Google will have no answer for.
SO YOU SHOULD REALLY GET YOUR OWN HOUSE IN ORDER.... JANE.................I MEAN MIKE.
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The English Solicitor - 4-Jan-10 10:32
ooooohhhhhh!!!!!!!! she"s off on one ! poor old mike! a tampax, quickly somebody!
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oldgrumpywoman - 4-Jan-10 10:28
oldgrumpywoman (how original!)
"Firstly ES has made only one error" - that you can spot. You are equally poorly educated if that is your opinion. Apart from the poor use of English, he has written nonsense, non-sequiturs, and untruths. If the person who wrote this is a solicitor then I'm a spaceman.
"and secondly a real solicitor is not meant to be understood either verbally or in writen form."
What rot. Dont judge everyone by your own low standards of intelligence.
"Firstly ES has made only one error" - that you can spot. You are equally poorly educated if that is your opinion. Apart from the poor use of English, he has written nonsense, non-sequiturs, and untruths. If the person who wrote this is a solicitor then I'm a spaceman.
"and secondly a real solicitor is not meant to be understood either verbally or in writen form."
What rot. Dont judge everyone by your own low standards of intelligence.
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MikeP, yet again you have made an idiot of yourself,
Firstly ES has made only one error and secondly a real solicitor is not meant to be understood either verbally or in writen form.
Firstly ES has made only one error and secondly a real solicitor is not meant to be understood either verbally or in writen form.
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oldgrumpywoman - 4-Jan-10 10:10
The English Solicitor
If you are, as you claim, a solicitor, you are a disgrace to your profession, and with your level of written English, you have no right whatsoever to ask of someone else: "Jane, do you have even a mediocre understanding of the English language?".
Set your own house in order before you criticise others.
If you are, as you claim, a solicitor, you are a disgrace to your profession, and with your level of written English, you have no right whatsoever to ask of someone else: "Jane, do you have even a mediocre understanding of the English language?".
Set your own house in order before you criticise others.
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Jane, do you have even a mediocre understanding of the English language? could you elaborate on your wording? as for I whom works the Family Law courts 7 days a week 52 weeks a year, and almost all Magistrates, Circuit and District judges have the very same opinion, the very high majority of women going through the courts use there children as a weapon against the father, sorry to inform you of this but this is sadly very much a fact to anyone who is privy to the aforementioned circumstances on a repetitive basis, are you a Family Law solicitor also? and my facts are categorically self explanatory are they not? surely you can see this Jane? OK let me hopefully educate you again
( I HAVE WORKED IN THE FAMILY LAW COURTS REPRESENTING BOTH MALE AND FEMALE OF THE SPECIES FOR OVER 10 YEARS )
do you think this is factual enough Jane? I am not really sure of your clearly flawed point Jane?
( I HAVE WORKED IN THE FAMILY LAW COURTS REPRESENTING BOTH MALE AND FEMALE OF THE SPECIES FOR OVER 10 YEARS )
do you think this is factual enough Jane? I am not really sure of your clearly flawed point Jane?
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The English Solicitor - 4-Jan-10 00:45
English Solicitor - how very scary your comments are, with so few facts in front of you.
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A lot of very jealous bitter controlling women posting on here I think, always painting themselves with the ( Poor Me Brush ) I am a family law solicitor and I can clearly state that 95% of women I see in court are bitter vindictive jealous creatures, who are self servient to the extreme when it comes to there children, this is why society is in tatters there is nothing like ( Wait till I tell your father ) to keep a child on the straight and narrow, but most women think thy can be both mother and father, my advice would be look at the statistics on children especially girls who have none or little contact with there biological father, the teenage pregnancy, drug abuse rates etc etc etc is very very alarming in contrast to children who do see and have a relationship with there father, and to the majority of Judges, be it district, circuit, or High, to there credit now use this in almost all closing statements to the mostly self servient mothers, it is clear 100% emotional abuse, in my professional and personal opinion, there will clearly be cases where no contact with either mother or father is very much warranted, I work for both women and men day in day out week in week out, and I can assure you 90%+ are clearly vindictive jaded bitter women and there children is there weapon of choice and probably there only available weapon to fight with, if they only knew the long term damage they emotionally do to there own flesh and blood.
I am a practicing Family Law Solicitor & a member of the Law Society Family Panel ( LL.B )
I am a practicing Family Law Solicitor & a member of the Law Society Family Panel ( LL.B )
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The English Solicitor - 2-Jan-10 18:10
I know the feeling. My ex does it with my son too.. what to do? My son treats me the same way. I cannot measure up. But when my ex looks at me and tellls other people that I am the one spoiling him I want to just spit in his face. Let me know what kind of advice you get on this one... It isn't small potatoes. I guess you have to teach them that love isn't about money .// Just love them and show them that you care.. That is my only advice..
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Dont take the bait he is playing you like a fiddle ,be dead calm and act as if everything is normal , he is obviusly feeding off the drama.
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I love women like you. Its good that your husband treats her so well, shes a kid dont use her as a pawn
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well, so sorry for all thetrash.but iwilladviceyou tokeep playing your role as a mother cos nobody can take your place.be prayerful.
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