My ex-wife won't play fair
Ok, this is not quite to do with the CSA but they get a mention. My ex-wife and I had our lovely daughter in June 2000. I loved my ex-wife to pieces, but soon after we were married things began to change. As a couple we didnt last and she ended up having an affair then going off with another woman!
I was kicked out of the house, made homeless and I ended up sleeping in my car for quite a while. During this time she filed a CSA claim and I was of course hit by the maximum level of payment as I didnt have a fixed address and no household bills to pay as such.
Whilst all this was going through I had no regular access to my daughter and it took me almost eighteen months to get a proper arrangement in place so that I could see her. So basically I was paying nearly 300 a month for a child that I wasnt allowed to see, even though I dearly wanted to spend time with her.
I now at least quite often get to see my daughter at weekends and she sometimes comes to stay at my house. The ex-wife is at university now and I will often pick up our daughter on a Friday after school and take her home either on Sunday evening or Ill drop her off at school on the Monday morning.
Due to the nature of my job however, very occasionally this arrangement needs to change and I sometimes cant see my daughter at the weekend.
Also, sometimes my ex-wife takes her away for the weekend to her girlfriends house in London, or to a party or whatever and I cant see my daughter then either. Fair enough though, because I think there needs to be some degree of flexibility in these matters.
The problem is that when I say I cant have our daughter, the ex-wife throws a right tantrum and tells me that shes my daughter and I need to put her first. Yet when the shoe is on the other foot and she needs to take her away its a completely different story. If I could have my daughter full time I would, but this of course could never happen as the law is biased towards the mother!
Heres another example of her selfish attitude. This year the schools closed for Christmas on the Tuesday, so I asked if I could have our daughter from the Wednesday through to Christmas day; that way I could spend some quality time with her. Usually I pick her up on Christmas Eve and then have to get her back to her mother by lunch time on Christmas day. I thought it would be nice if I could spend the day with her properly for once.
The ex-wife turns around to me and says Shes my daughter too, and I would like to spend some time with her as well you know!
I couldnt believe it. She has her practically every day, picks her up from school and looks after her more than I do during the week and she wants more time with her! Yet as soon as I need a weekend off to do something important, I get a lecture that I never want to spend anytime with my daughter. Apparently she is lumbered with her all the time and would like some time off once in a while!
So come on ex-wives, ex-girlfriends. Give us a break, if we pay our way then let us have our say!
By: Stuartkeith
Comments from visitors
David Cameron and George Osborne are currently reading and considering Matthew's Law. This Law protects Fathers and Mothers equally. It enforces Prenuptials as a compulsory measure. This stops the CSA from holding up Fathers to crippling unreasonable and unqualified demands and prevents Solicitors from holding parents to ransom too who wish to divorce. It equally supports Fathers and Mothers where they too are clearly being treated unfairly. Matthew's Law lays down a consequence for any partner who chooses to break the new marriage contract. Marriage is a farcical arrangement where both parties enter into a potential minefield of financial and emotional ruin. The CSA has been set up to protect women only as it shows no regards to who has broken up the family bond. It functions discriminately without flexibility or understanding to Fathers as victims. It's archaic and highly inefficiently run body, and is due to be disbanded under Matthew's Law. It will be replaced by a fairer system, where both parents are treated fairly in the interests of the children and Both parents financially.
The law is currently in a mothers favour. So much so, that the Father has little or no rights. The disintegration of family life has been encouraged by the easy and plentiful access to benefits if you happen to be the Mother. Nobody is disputing that the Mother and Children shouldn't be looked after and neither is the amount they receive in question. However, the divorce rate is 2 out of every 3 and in 80% of all cases now, the Mother has broken the bond to seek greener grass. Thanks to the lucrative option most mothers discover through other divorcees that it's financially attractive to 'go it alone' with other single mothers and 'play the field'. This was a reverse situation in the 50's.
Matthew's Law has been set to bring the imbalance of separation and Divorce entitlements back to 50% in amicable situations. Unfortunately, most divorces are not amicable and the financial rights aren't either. Matthew's Law lays down consequences to re-address the 'Contract of Marriage' and protects all those who venture into its risky future. Thankfully it doesn't interfere with the enjoyment of marriage, but protects both parties, and ultimately and more importantly, the children. It will make a partner think twice about adultery, as the consequence is severe. It stops Solicitors from holding us up to ransom and makes an amicable separation cheap and fast. Soon, you will no longer be able to get married without a prenuptial agreement. So, before you consider marriage, be sure to set up your own prenuptial agreement. You're a fool in this day and age not to before Matthew's Law is released. Write to No. 10 for more information.
Matthew's Law - 10-Oct-11 18:30
disgusted father - 21-Jan-11 02:12
Here's the argument; The State states it is inappropriate for a person to spend time with both parents if the parents are separated. Society states it is important for a person to have both parents actively playing a role in a person life, but does not actively encourage it.
Your ex is using the State against you. Society doesn't care.
Therefore play the State game. It'll screw up a generation of children but Society will eventually understands the importance of a supportive father.
We need Society to help us get 50/50 joint residency and 50/50 joint custody. This should be a right. Not a gift. However, to weed out the worms, if you do not exercise your right you should loose it.
If we can't get this and we let the situation worry us, all we will become is broken men.
Life is more important than your ex and her child.
We are men, we have cold hearts, we should shock society into understanding what is right, just and fair.
It hurts, but what else is there to do?
Ryan
Oh they do it... And they do it knowing full well that the Authorities will support them all the way. You may be really lucky and be told (as I just have) that she is flying off to Morroco today and that I will have to look after the kids for 10 days...
Honestly, never trust anybody again! EVER!!!
CSA women are a disgrace to their race
I was also noted that you didn't offer any sympathy to the fact that my ex-wife is a vile evil excuse for a human being, stopping access because the governments turn a blind eye to it.
Gainsborough lad. - 26-Dec-09 18:36
You must know that U-God is just a troll trying to stir things up, it was a nice attempt until he over egged the pudding with the biblical "yea" and banging on about Adam and Eve and the bloody apple. (If men ever did the supermarket shop Adam could have bought bananas and still be in the garden of Eden!)
Why did you put "talking" in inverted commas? If you were not actually talking what were you doing?
A lot of women will spend the benefit they have been given for the children on themselves.... catalogue items, pubbing and clubbing, cigarettes, clothes ect,
The rest of them will stop access because they are absolutley evil, using any feeble excuse to justify their actions, even telling the children that "dad don't want to see you" and telling your friends and relatives the same,
Thousands apon thousands of fathers in this country have been, and are still going through this, it happened to me, I was even turned away from my childs pre-school nursery fence by an assistant, for "talking" to my own child, my ex-wife had obviously even closed this little access loophole,
Pure and utter scum they are, there's no other words to describe them, and the governments have let them get away with it.
Gainsborough lad. - 26-Dec-09 08:10





