Why are weddings so expensive?
I’m trying to organise my own wedding, mainly because I thought it would be less expensive. However, it would seem that is not the case. Also, why is it that everyone you deal with in the area of wedding and bridal services is just out to rip you off?
We thought that if there was one thing we should splash out on, it ought to be the venue. So due to the sensitivity of some of the guests we thought we had better book it to be 'exclusive' at a cost of £4,500 (this included the bedrooms).
But my God, you can only have 'in house' catering at £50 a head for the main meals and £15 for a few sandwiches in the evening! Then of course there is the entertainment and the 'recommended' house DJ at a bargain price of £275!! Is this wedding expensive enough yet? Apparently not… Okay, because we decided on the 'posh' venue (that mainly my partner wanted), so we had to have all the paraphernalia that goes with it. But even when you do the invites, reply cards, bonbonnieres (favours), scrolls and table seating plans etc. yourself, it still costs an absolute arm and a leg! So much for cutting back on a few expenses.
There’s more. For example that half price wedding dress that STILL costs nearly £350, or the limo that is only a one-way trip and can’t take us right to the door because of a ramp. Somehow the bill for that is nearly £150 and it's a drive that is less than 30 minutes! Then there is the hire of the suits for the guys (including 5 ushers and a page); this lot costs another £370 for the VERY basic suits, not the trimmed fancy ones. The wedding cake is a simple 3-tier one, yet the price tag is still £150. What for? A few eggs, a bit of flour and some cherries? The list is endless.
So, why am I griping about the money if this is what my partner wants and I love them enough to marry them? I guess it’s really the money spent on the over-indulgence, mainly for the benefit of the other guests. I feel that it is just a sheer waste of money and it could have been better invested in our future instead of squandered on the wedding.
Just in case anyone has jumped to the conclusion that I must be a man because I'm complaining about the cost of the wedding. I'm actually a woman!
By: Jas
Comments from visitors
I have to say I think the price for your cake, £150 for three tiers, is pretty good. I'm making my own and once I've bought all the ingredients, icing, cake boards, pillars etc and hired the cake tins it cost about £70 - £80 to make yourself, and then there's all the time it takes to do.
Most things that come with a wedding tag are double the price of what they normally would be. I'm going to the church in my dad's car (saves a few hundred £££), I've made all the stationary, really, it costs what you want it to depending on how big a day you want.
Most things that come with a wedding tag are double the price of what they normally would be. I'm going to the church in my dad's car (saves a few hundred £££), I've made all the stationary, really, it costs what you want it to depending on how big a day you want.
+8
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You don`t need all that crap! £40 or something is it for a marriage licence and off down to the Registry Office. Do all the other celebrations cheaply yourself. I had a cut-price wedding with costs kept to bare minimum.
+10
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MerseysideAlice - 16-Jul-10 22:41
You do not have to spend a fortune if you use your imagination. In August 2009 my sone got married. The family camped on a beautiful lakeside camp site (we have a small motorhome) The brides sister made the 3 dresses, my wife made a superb cake shaped like a picnic basket and filled with marzipan fruits made by my 10 year old daughter. The service was at the Brides local village church. The reception was in a large gazeebo which was borrowed from my sister-in-law and food was a picnic for about 35 guests All the male guests provided their own suits. Photographs were taken by everyone, BUT the brides brother was asked to be official photographer to ensure that most photographs had everyone looking in the same direction. The lake on the campside made a superb background for "official pictures" The memory cards were collected and copied onto one computer. After the wedding the best pictures were selected and using an online company were printed in a hardback album for approx £30. We were fortunate to wave a nice day and everone had a good day.
The total cost of the wedding was around £1000 for everything.
The total cost of the wedding was around £1000 for everything.
+3
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Picnic Weddiing - 16-Dec-09 17:49
If you managed to get a Limo for £150.00 WELL DONE.
Have you ever tried to clean one ,drive one, Insure one ; Oh & there is the cost of buying and maintaining one !
Have you ever tried to clean one ,drive one, Insure one ; Oh & there is the cost of buying and maintaining one !
+7
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My wedding cost 12/6 plus a dinner for 4 (us and the witnesses). It need not cost more.
0
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Marriage on Skid Row - 4-Apr-09 09:54
Sorry got sidetracked, the best wedding I have ever been to was a friend who got married in a dress from Oxfam, a veil she borrowed from a friend and took place at the nearest Register Office that had a free appointment asap, (not shotgun I hasten to add!), there were 5 people there other than bride and groom and after the ceremony we spent the afternoon and early evening in the local pub and then went on for a late dinner in our local favourite restaurant. Best wedding ever and cost the bride and groom about £100 and the few friends and family not much more so all in all about £400!
-1
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Myself and my partner have been together for 12 years, we want to get married but would both rather nip down the registry office in our lunch hour, but as an only daughter I feel duty bound to invite my mum so she can do the mother of the bride thing, then my brothers would want to come, so in turn we must invite my partners mum and dad and siblings etc etc so instead we just don't get married!
I have to agree with grumpyoldwoman the whole country has gone "keepin up with the Jones" all this money is just a waste, ask the kids about their parties the next week and they have no clue. We are breeding greeedy, never satisfied, forever envious kids that have the concentration span of a knat because they are so distracted by the next gift or the next entertainer. We then get older and wonder what is wrong with the younger generation and the answer is us!
I have to agree with grumpyoldwoman the whole country has gone "keepin up with the Jones" all this money is just a waste, ask the kids about their parties the next week and they have no clue. We are breeding greeedy, never satisfied, forever envious kids that have the concentration span of a knat because they are so distracted by the next gift or the next entertainer. We then get older and wonder what is wrong with the younger generation and the answer is us!
+8
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I am also trying to plan my own wedding and feel the exact same way! I just can't understand where this huge markup is coming from, based on what you are really getting. I am also a woman and my fiance is the one who wants all the trappings of a big wedding. I seriously just want to elope!
-7
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Weddings are so expensive because everyone has make theirs better than the last one they went to & don't have the sense to realise when things are getting out of hand! Just the stag & hen nights have escalated to weekends abroad in a few years.
It's the same with kid's birthday parties. The guests now have to have expensive entertainers & go home with bags stuffed with goodies.
No-one has the courage to say ENOUGH!
It's the same with kid's birthday parties. The guests now have to have expensive entertainers & go home with bags stuffed with goodies.
No-one has the courage to say ENOUGH!
-5
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grumpyoldwoman - 26-May-08 16:24
Why is everything expensive? Produce us a list of 'things' that are cheap. A wedding can be as expensive as you want it to be.
How do you perceive your wedding to be? A couple get married, exquisite bash, 6 month down the road they split.
How do you perceive your wedding to be? A couple get married, exquisite bash, 6 month down the road they split.
+3
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Ok, heres what you should do, go abroad to get married. Getting married in this country is a rip off and anyone with a hand wants to put it in your pocket. Go abroad, get your relatives to pay for their own flights and if they wont then they just dont want to go to your wedding enough. People are very selfish and expect you to foot the bill for them to have a free feed here but as soon as you expect them to pony up some cash they get all affronted.
-4
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get in the real world - 15-May-08 21:33
I feel the same on this one. It's all one big money making scheme! It's the same as Valentine's day, Christmas, Easter etc. All everyone wants is a big portion of your bank balance. Nothing has any meaning anymore. I want to marry my fiance very much but I don't want a wedding. I just want the two of us to run away somewhere and come back as husband and wife =] I'd quite happily pay for the required documents and drag him down to the registry office in my jeans and a t-shirt.
Why spend over £10,000 on one day when it's every day after that counts? It takes two people to make a marriage and you certainly don't need 300 family members to bless it! Or a £300 photo album to remember it by.
Why spend over £10,000 on one day when it's every day after that counts? It takes two people to make a marriage and you certainly don't need 300 family members to bless it! Or a £300 photo album to remember it by.
-5
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No Bridezilla Here - 24-Mar-08 14:30
As a woman in her 20s, I think weddings are such a huge waste of time! I can afford to have a big expensive do, but I choose not to - I find them so narcassistic, always about a woman who wants lots of people admiring her and her dress, and guess what - two years down the road, they want a divorce. A lot of my friends would not get married if it involved not getting a wedding to - what does that say about their commitment!
-6
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Our wedding was "expensive enough". It also meant that the following week we had to cancel the honey moon :o( I have one, very tearful wife today. :o(
-4
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You mean I have all this to look forward to? Cripes!
The troublesome 'child' sounds a bit like my sister in law. My husband's parents are constantly moving to cheaper houses in order to release equity. Unfortunately we're in pricey Berks, so they're having to move further from their only grandchildren each time. Why are they doing this? Because aforementioned sister in law, at the age of 43, lives alone (with several dogs) in a house with an orchard in Majorca and won't work - so her parents pay for everything. Bonkers.
The troublesome 'child' sounds a bit like my sister in law. My husband's parents are constantly moving to cheaper houses in order to release equity. Unfortunately we're in pricey Berks, so they're having to move further from their only grandchildren each time. Why are they doing this? Because aforementioned sister in law, at the age of 43, lives alone (with several dogs) in a house with an orchard in Majorca and won't work - so her parents pay for everything. Bonkers.
+8
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Attila the Mum - 26-Jul-06 22:21
Attila, we do already have a number of children from previous relationships, thankfully all but one are adults now (though you wouldn't know it at times with one of them. We do not have children together at this moment and have no intention at our ages to have any in the future, so 'kids parties' are not on the menu - thank god.
He does have one adult child that is a constant drain though, and this does cause some friction, with my partner making excuses for his behaviour, and the adult child constantly putting this parent on a guilt trip. I personnally feel they as an adult now in their mid 20s should stand on their own 2 feet in every way, instead, when the sh*t hits the fan (gen because he cant be othered to sort it before it gets to that stage), he runs for assistance, and parent runs to help. It's crazy!
He does have one adult child that is a constant drain though, and this does cause some friction, with my partner making excuses for his behaviour, and the adult child constantly putting this parent on a guilt trip. I personnally feel they as an adult now in their mid 20s should stand on their own 2 feet in every way, instead, when the sh*t hits the fan (gen because he cant be othered to sort it before it gets to that stage), he runs for assistance, and parent runs to help. It's crazy!
-3
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Careful JAS - it sounds like you are working up to your first domestic already! It's good to hear you had such a lovely time on the day though.
You should be warned - bad wedding guests are a practice run for dealing with snotty, ungrateful kids at your children's birthday parties later on... welcome to the family!
You should be warned - bad wedding guests are a practice run for dealing with snotty, ungrateful kids at your children's birthday parties later on... welcome to the family!
+6
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Attila the Mum - 28-Jun-06 13:25
Thank you all for your comments - even the horrible ones (the horrible ones lead me to believe even more that I have married the 'right guy' after all, even though I had no doubts in the first place!).
The wedding was fantastic, as was the honeymoon.
The gripe I have now is that a few so called 'friends' didn't even bother to show up on the day, even though they knew how much their meals/rooms had cost us, needless to say they are now off MY christmas card list etc. My husband's 'best mate' turned up with his hair done like a skunk (2 tone - just to stand out from the crowd and be a pain in the a**) and couldn't even be bothered to pick up a £1 wedding card, even though he got his room/food for free, now that's a great mate for you, eh? He then proceeded to complain about virtually everything (even though everything was fantastic)to anyone that would listen (which is normal for him). As far as I am concerned, he should have kept his opinions etc to himself, it was supposed to be about us and our day, and all he did was try to wreck it. What does my partner think? Well, he STILL thinks of him as his his best mate! And I thought he had GOOD taste/judgement!
The wedding was fantastic, as was the honeymoon.
The gripe I have now is that a few so called 'friends' didn't even bother to show up on the day, even though they knew how much their meals/rooms had cost us, needless to say they are now off MY christmas card list etc. My husband's 'best mate' turned up with his hair done like a skunk (2 tone - just to stand out from the crowd and be a pain in the a**) and couldn't even be bothered to pick up a £1 wedding card, even though he got his room/food for free, now that's a great mate for you, eh? He then proceeded to complain about virtually everything (even though everything was fantastic)to anyone that would listen (which is normal for him). As far as I am concerned, he should have kept his opinions etc to himself, it was supposed to be about us and our day, and all he did was try to wreck it. What does my partner think? Well, he STILL thinks of him as his his best mate! And I thought he had GOOD taste/judgement!
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Weddings are sometimes more expensive if you don't go through a planner because they can get deals from their business relationships. Finding good vendors is difficult at best. If you have time, making your own products can save you a bundle in labor costs. Many fancy invitations can be made from ordinary paper and some ideas from Martha Stewart. Or, settling for 2nd best may just have to be it. You want your wedding to be special, but how many people will remember the day other than you? I've only been married 3 years, but I can honestly say that I'm one of a few people who really remembers the wedding details. Even I am hazy about some of the things.
+4
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Thanks Rob. It's always nice to to get the 'intelligent' angle and you are evidently a very chivalrous, caring gentleman; in fact I'm sure most women would consider you a real catch... not. When exactly is a woman's sell by date? You sound like a real authority on such matters.
+11
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