No 'thank you' or good manners for a gentleman
So what happened to good manners in the world today? I believe that everyone should be polite and courteous, however it would seem that gentlemanly actions these days are just not appreciated in the way that they once were. Is the notion that someone can be "a gentleman" so completely ridiculous?
In case anyone has forgotten, I took the liberty of looking up the term "gentleman" and here is perhaps the most appropriate definition: "Gentleman - A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behaviour".
It might not be fashionable these days, but I always open doors for women and offer my seat on the bus if they are standing. But I find it amazing that only about half of them actually say "thank you".
The others don't even smile or acknowledge me! I won't stop being a "gentleman", but it does worry me that so many women are so ignorant.
Good manners don’t cost anything and I think that it is such a shame that so many people these days seem to have lost the ability behave appropriately and respect their fellow human beings.
How difficult can it be to utter a simple "Please" and "Thank you" at the appropriate times?
With all that is wrong in the world today, surely good manners are one thing that is worth holding on to?
By: GB
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I believe if a man holds a door open for a woman, or gives up his seat on transport etc, he is showing his character - and by not acknowledging this act or thanking him, she is showing hers.
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The young get such a hard time these days for being rude but many older people lack basic good manners. I have just let an older lady go ahead of me in a queue for food at a cafe as her lunch was getting cold. She blanked me, turned her back, said nothing and then took ages to pay. Once through the till I pointed out to her that I had let her go ahead but she had failed to say thanks or even acknowledge me. Her reply "I don't know why you did it". I said that perhaps people would be reluctant to do her a good turn on a second occasion if she fails to say thank you as a common courtesy. I see her frequently in this establishment and believe me she won't get further up the queue in future if I have anything to do with it. I won't stop my daily good deeds to fellow man but it is grossly unfair to blame the young for the demise of good manners in our society. Rant over!!
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anon, you are perfectly right. I have a younger relative - nephew - who never utters a word of thanks for any gifts etc and, as a result, he has been excluded from my Will. Despite your point about the female driver, I'm finding generally though that women are the least polite and the most rude. Many young women - usually behind a pushchair - are oblivious to the politeness of others, but are very quick to snarl and get aggressive if they think they themselves have been slighted in any way. A little politeness goes a long way, and it is surprising how it can have a great and positive impact upon one's day, and can be long remembered. To all those younger people out there expecting to be gain material benefit upon the death of an older relative, please be warned; your lack of politeness and downright rudeness may be very costly indeed!
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I believe most people are get embarrassed saying thank you. Even when given gifts by relations you only get a grunt. I often let drivers out from side turnings in heavy traffic and nearly all gives a little wave. The other day a young femaale driver gave me a lovely smile, waved and even winked as she went. I felt a million dollars all day, and it cost her nothing.
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I always say thanks when someone shows me good manners, as it`s all too rare.Iv`e encountered too many ignorant chavs in my time, & they seem too make up most of the uk population. the british used to be admired for their manners, now wer`e known as the rudest people in europe.
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That is who you are. If you changed it to be like the people who are rude, you wouldn't be happy. Like a true act of charity being done anonymously, an act of politeness must be done expecting nothing in return, and you'll never be disappointed. You will however be delighted if and when it is appreciated!
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I'm always pleasantly surprised when a man holds a door open for me and always say thank you. I sometimes add that it's nice to see that there are still gentlemen about, as a bit of encouragement!
People don't seem to realise these days that a bit of politeness brightens the day for both the giver and the receiver (as long as there is acknowledgement)!
grumpyoldwoman
People don't seem to realise these days that a bit of politeness brightens the day for both the giver and the receiver (as long as there is acknowledgement)!
grumpyoldwoman
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GRUMPYOLDWOMAN - 8-Nov-09 11:45
I never expect a man to offer me a seat on the bus just because I am a woman but I always smile, say thank you and accept if one does. Even if I am only going a few stops I accept because I would not want to embarrass someone by refusing.
As for holding doors open, I hold doors for whoever is behind me, male or female but sadly many people just walk through without acknowledging me as if I am a paid doorman, ( not that I wouldn’t thank a doorman ! ).
Some people are self centred, selfish and rude but I don’t live by their standards, I live by mine, so I am going to continue treating people with courtesy and I thank all of you here who do the same.
As for holding doors open, I hold doors for whoever is behind me, male or female but sadly many people just walk through without acknowledging me as if I am a paid doorman, ( not that I wouldn’t thank a doorman ! ).
Some people are self centred, selfish and rude but I don’t live by their standards, I live by mine, so I am going to continue treating people with courtesy and I thank all of you here who do the same.
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GB,
Don't give up. Being a gentleman is always worth it. Do you really want to become an ignorant and common s**t? No, of course not, you're better than that. Hang on to your principles and you will find yourself constantly and pleasantly surprising people. If I met you I'd buy you a drink.
Don't give up. Being a gentleman is always worth it. Do you really want to become an ignorant and common s**t? No, of course not, you're better than that. Hang on to your principles and you will find yourself constantly and pleasantly surprising people. If I met you I'd buy you a drink.
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Howsoonisnow? - 7-Nov-09 22:55
I agree 200%, we are far and few between, thankless job but it's not going to change me. Keep up your end GB
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Tini, I agree!!! I am always pleasantly surprised when someone acts like a gentleman! They seem few and far between near us and on the comments of us fighting for equal rights etc, I hate to say it but if I found the right gentleman I would love to be a kept woman, cooking and cleaning and with a nice reception job!
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We aren't all ungratfully. It's just a very rare thing to be offered a sit or have doors held open for you that we don't really know what we're meant to do. I do always say thank-you and I'm saying thank-you now to all men that do hold doors and offer up seats please don't give up on us, it can really make some-ones day.
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I think it's partly because there's so many ill-mannered men out there, that we females don't know how to react to chivalry. I always feel a little uncomfortable if a door is held open for me, although I always say thank you!
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Gave my train seat up for a lady she dident even say thanks, right no more mr nice guy you can all stand up bollocks to the lot of ya.
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Sad but true, no time for good manners in 21st century :( now they are appearing more as being silly or weak, workd is changing in the wrong direction in this point... So we (men and women) are equal, let your women work as hard as men do in the stress as men like to deal with. And always stay gentelman, if your lady deserves your attention, time and care :)
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jon.gulliver - 19-Jan-09 12:17
I miss the gentlemen, my mans a gentleman he holds the door open for me, lets me have the last seat instead of him. All what a gentleman does. I think its half the womans fault for this, because they kind have destroyed it. Its ashame because manners is what we need in the world
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There I am running around London in my wheelchair without a leg to stand on. I don't expect anyone to help me. Just get completely out of my way. Last year I got 5 tickets for speeding on the public highway and its pavements. Is there no justice in this world? I've considered emigrating to Antartica, but the penguins won't have me. They say I would frighten their little ones. Gentleman is as Gentleman does I say. It's a French word anyway. Oui Milord!
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Merder on the Oriente Expresso - 15-Oct-08 06:36
Well I never thought it come to this, after many years of etiquette, decorum and manners I’ve thrown in the towel. I’ve decided to leave England. Women are always complaining that there are no gentleman, I’m right here I helped with your luggage, I held the door open for you and gave you my umbrella.
I’m not being subtle on this I have told everyone who’s asked that I’m leaving England ‘cos everyone that lives there’s a complete jerk.
I’m not being subtle on this I have told everyone who’s asked that I’m leaving England ‘cos everyone that lives there’s a complete jerk.
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Damn it all! - 14-Oct-08 09:58
I firmly believe that a man should always be a gentleman, even if girls don't acknowledge him. Shows good character. I always take my time to smile and thank a man for holding the door open for me. Usually it is the older men who will bother to do that.
Personally, I think that a man who will not open doors for me or who will not even bother to ask if he can assist me when I'm carrying HIS heavy lawn chairs is very unattractive. Good looks really do not compare to a kind, considerate, selfless man at all.
Then again, if a girl you know makes a point that she does not want you offering to help her, you can back off. Just don't stop doing it for other girls. If they are ladies, they will appreciate it.
Personally, I think that a man who will not open doors for me or who will not even bother to ask if he can assist me when I'm carrying HIS heavy lawn chairs is very unattractive. Good looks really do not compare to a kind, considerate, selfless man at all.
Then again, if a girl you know makes a point that she does not want you offering to help her, you can back off. Just don't stop doing it for other girls. If they are ladies, they will appreciate it.
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Carla
You cannot see it, some of us men have been raised that offering a seat is perfectly normal action for us. All you have to do is decline politely, and life goes on. When I am out with my partner walking,I walk nearest the kerb, its a habit,in case a car drives past through a puddle. Perhaps one day you will meet one of lifes' real gentleman, or may be not we are either already married or not hetrosexual.
You cannot see it, some of us men have been raised that offering a seat is perfectly normal action for us. All you have to do is decline politely, and life goes on. When I am out with my partner walking,I walk nearest the kerb, its a habit,in case a car drives past through a puddle. Perhaps one day you will meet one of lifes' real gentleman, or may be not we are either already married or not hetrosexual.
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