Single parent, dad doesn't pay maintenance

I'd say get a partime job & support from your family. The courts are a wast of time and you dont really want a life of hand outs. The experience will make you independant and stronger. This guy sounds a bully but you win at the end of the day he will miss out.

I am a 20 year old women pregant by my ex who is not supporting me I have just found out been cheating on me for the past year. he said is not going to support me or pay me anything for our child! can he do that? he said if I go to court then he would say I tricked him and im so scared as he has a history of hitting me and I dont want that for my child. im not working now and its my first child so worried not going to be able to cope but at six months its hard being alone. please offer me any sort of advise would be very grateful.

I got pregnant by a man who said he had left his wife but in actual fact never did. He lied to me for nearly 4 years...I just thought he had emotional difficulties after his split but in actual fact he was a disturbed man. In his own words 'he lived a fantasy life with me'. We live and learn! I'm lucky to get maintenance but he has disowned my little one as he has another family. I work full time and obviously do all the child rearing. It is tough not getting a break say every other weekend. In addition, I find it hard to understand how anyone can abandon a child. His parents didn't want to know either.. He started to text me after a while with 'blank' texts and then 'love you'. I ignore it. He has never asked how she is. It took me two attempts to change her name . I can't believe he let me use his surname knowing the lies he was telling
I feel guilty that she doesn't have a dad as I think she has a right. But then again I don't have to deal with him and could never trust him especially in the light of his behaviour. I know I am a good parent and spend alot of quality time with my daughter. I have recently split from my boyfriend but in true honesty I found it hard being a mum and girlfriend. My ex b/f didn't really help me out and I didn't appreciate his parenting style ie telling her off all the time instead of playing with her. I am still hopefull I will meet someone. I think my daughter is very special despite the circumstances which brought her into the world.

Take out a small loan Dee, government handouts are degrading and immoral. Most places can lend what is adequate to support you while being a mum and in education. You will need to have proof of some kind of income though so part-time job and a baby sitter could be useful.

The CSA are corrupt, they have no intention of helping anybody It is all about money. I work for the gov and my advice is if possible dont get involved with them.

There Is an old saying within our deptments about the csa....

you cant polish a turd.

Ooh this rings a bell! My ex has been told by the csa he has to pay £37 per week for his two children. He is refusing, this is now going to legal enforcement and the arrears are building up. He thinks it will all just go away!
He has even asked for the CSA to knock off petrol money (he drives 6 miles to see them, most times his parents drive in their car)
He says he has no money but constantly turns up to drop them and he is wearing designer clothing.
He is so selfish and because I threw him out for an affair he said I chose this way of life! What an idiot.
I work and so does my new partner, so my children do not go without. How selfish can a parent be, (mother or father) not to contribute to the upbringing of their own children???
Anyway the CSA told me it will take some time but hey, my youngest is only 3 so there is a long time for him to start paying and cleaning up his arrears.

I haven't got either. I married my boyfriend when I was 18 and after three years of being my husband he left me when I was 21 years old (I am now 38) We had two daughters together and one is now 18 and the other is 16. He has not spent any time with our children despite being asked and he has never paid maintenance. The CSA say he owes me for supporting my children single handedly around £12,000. I work full time and always have with the exception of when the children were not old enough to go to school and needed me with them. Everytime the CSA catch up with him he changes his job or his address or because he is self employed he makes out his earnings are alot less than what they are. I have since discovered that he pays for another child which he has had since but what about our girls? I think that is so terrible. I actually spoke with a member of his family regarding a birthday present for one of our daughters as I was asked if I could give him any idea of what to buy. When I said a riding lesson I was told that he probably wouldn't be able to manage that as he is having to pay out most of his money he earns on maintenance. I said that he wasn't paying any and was told that it was for his son that was born 10 years after our children. The CSA need to sort out cases like this. I have been waiting 16 years for some financial support and will probably never receive any of it. I have struggled whilst he has lived his life but I will always be the one who is better off as I have the love of my two very special daughters! He will regret the time he has missed with them and the memories he could have had but he never once took the opportunity to spend time with them and he was always welcome to do that as I grew up not knowing who my father was until I was 16 and I know how important it is having both parents around even if they are not together as a couple.

im doing my GCSE english courswork on single parent benefits, can anyone help me in any way? X

My ex says he,s not been working for the past year and yet he has just been on holiday to
Gambia with his girlfriend and they had the most expensive bar bill going. He does not even give my son any pocket money clothes nothing at all. He sees him but gives him nought. I do not have any respect for him he is a mean person and I dont, like him. I am not after alot of money but I give my son 20 pounds a week pocket money money for schools clothes and even brought him and the my grandkids who live with me a computer this week. How anyone can be so mean is beyond me. To help out just giving 20 pounds a week would help out. I think he is pathetic immature and irresponsible and he makes me feel sick. I must of been stupid to even going out with him, I used to have low self esteem then. The only thing good to come out of the relationship has been my son. Life is not fair but life will get better. People like him make me sick and I know of other dads who buy their kids clothes and things and who are more thoughful and caring. I do not understand how anyone can be so mean. Life is not fair but I do not like him and told him to stuffed tonight when he came round for my son.

If they dont pay they should get some kind of legal punishment. - Funny that, I thought prison was.

If they dont pay they should get some kind of legal punishment.

I too have had problems from the beginning. I split with my daughters dad and then found out I was pregnant. He was over the moon about becoming a dad yet during the first year of her life constantly didn't turn up for contact without so much as a phone call.
We have a court order in place at his insistance yet that doesn't stop him from being a less that good parent.
The only time he has ever contributed financially was when he was on benefits and the csa saw fit to give us £5 a fortnight!
I have never stopped him from seeing his daughter and try to be understanding about the difficulties but when he works cash in hand, tells our daughter he works and gets a childminder to look after her when he is supposed to be spending quality time with her and then denies the fact, doesn't give her medicine when she is ill, has drugs lying around and just basically doesn't look after her properly I have a problem.
My solicitor tells me the issues are separate and I agree yet while I can stop him from having her overnight due to his completely inexcusable lack of parenting skills I cannot get the csa to claim any money from him!
It drives me mad and my daughter is never happy to go with him, I have bent over backward to ensure she has a relationship with her dad and yet it's the poor girl in the middle who loses out while he blames me because i'm 'being awkward' yet he just can't see what healthy parenting is really about!
I have never denied him contact and don't badmouth him in front of my 5 year old but I don't see why I should be constantly worried when my daughter is with him and I'm expected to say that's ok, it's your right, your her dad, do what you like, she'll understand!
This whole issue makes me cross, I think it's very unfair to judge the resident parent when you don't have all the facts and insinuate that all we want is money...financial responsibility comes hand in hand with all the other aspects of parenting.