Rude and abusive disabled people
I have always been very aware of difficulties faced by people who have mobility problems, and having been raised in a family with a disabled sister, I was always taught to offer assistance if needed.
Recently while visiting a gardening project for the disabled where there were several wheelchair users, I decided to have lunch in the restaurant. A lady in a wheelchair was being served beside me, and appeared to be having some difficulty carrying her tray, I offered to assist her, was immediately drawn the most vile look ever, and told she could manage perfectly well, thank you.
Did that give her some sort of right to be abusive?
She then proceeded to drop the tray, spill her soup and then complain to the overworked lady serving on her own at the counter that it was her fault for not taking it to the table for her. The lady serving then had to stop serving, clear up this mess, and take more criticism from this dreadful woman with a chip on her shoulder. Yes this woman had a disability, she was in a wheelchair, but did that give her some sort of right to be abusive to everyone?
After all this I will be very cautious on offering assistance to a disabled person in the future as this woman made me see that she clearly disliked able bodied people assisting her in any way, or did she just like having attention paid to her and offending other people?
Anyway, I will not be revisiting this gardening project again in case this unfortunate woman happens to be there and is still being abusive to the able bodied.
By: Gardener
Comments from visitors
lollipopman
I wonder if one of the “many names” is “I like birds”.
I wonder if one of the “many names” is “I like birds”.
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EMA, money to learn or money to burn?
14-May-10 14:25
Just one of my posts. I don't post very often, just on subjects that interest me but I have been posting using this name for a long time.
At least I care about someone and the rights of disabled people.
Using the word troll means nothing. Do you think a genuine carer doesn't know what that word means ?
14-May-10 14:25
Just one of my posts. I don't post very often, just on subjects that interest me but I have been posting using this name for a long time.
At least I care about someone and the rights of disabled people.
Using the word troll means nothing. Do you think a genuine carer doesn't know what that word means ?
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It is obvious to me that you are one of the regulars on this site that take pleasure in picking on any newcomer, bet 'carer' is not your usual name, you gave the game away using the term 'troll'
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It was irony.
You are obviously someone who posts using a different name each time. Also obviously a troll who likes to stir up hatred.
You know it didn't happen and should be ashamed of yourself. You don't sound like anyone who would help another person.
You are obviously someone who posts using a different name each time. Also obviously a troll who likes to stir up hatred.
You know it didn't happen and should be ashamed of yourself. You don't sound like anyone who would help another person.
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Carer
Can you not read? I did not say "I have just remembered"
It was a comment posted on this gripe that made me recall the incident.
Anyway, why assume I am new to this site?
Maybe I am a person of many names.
You sound like another self rightous prat.
Can you not read? I did not say "I have just remembered"
It was a comment posted on this gripe that made me recall the incident.
Anyway, why assume I am new to this site?
Maybe I am a person of many names.
You sound like another self rightous prat.
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This does not have the ring of truth about it to my mind - someone who has never posted before suddenly "remembering" something that happened weeks ago.
Trying to stir up resentment of disabled people is not funny. Tabloid newspapers already gleefully link the words "disabled" and "scroungers" in the mind's of the public in order to demnoise them and sell more newspapers.
Attacks on both learning disabled and physically disabled people have increased. Some people have been killed just because they are "different".
Trying to stir up resentment of disabled people is not funny. Tabloid newspapers already gleefully link the words "disabled" and "scroungers" in the mind's of the public in order to demnoise them and sell more newspapers.
Attacks on both learning disabled and physically disabled people have increased. Some people have been killed just because they are "different".
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There was a man with a white stick at the bus stop, many different destinations; when the bus arrived I asked him what number he required, talk about snap my head off he launched into a tirade against me and said "I can manage to catch a bus by myself without any help from you"
Thanks very much I thought, hope you get the wrong one.
You just can't help some people, or maybe it was a bad hair day.
This happened to me a few weeks ago.
Thanks very much I thought, hope you get the wrong one.
You just can't help some people, or maybe it was a bad hair day.
This happened to me a few weeks ago.
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Munty, why do you assume that something a disabled person does reflects on all disabled people and gives them a bad name?
If an English person is rude does give all English people a bad name?
I know a lot of people who have disabilities and I have never heard of anyone wanting to be called "not disabled".
If an English person is rude does give all English people a bad name?
I know a lot of people who have disabilities and I have never heard of anyone wanting to be called "not disabled".
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The lady had a right to refuse help, but having dropped her tray and blamed the cashier she reveals herself to be someone who gives the disabled a bad name.
The use of the term "able bodied" is also now frowned upon because it reminds the disabled that they are not able bodied, and you have to call them the most ridiculous phrase...not-disabled. How long before that one is reanamed also? Apparently the Deaf also claim they are not in any way disabled, but are just a different community. Where will this end?
The use of the term "able bodied" is also now frowned upon because it reminds the disabled that they are not able bodied, and you have to call them the most ridiculous phrase...not-disabled. How long before that one is reanamed also? Apparently the Deaf also claim they are not in any way disabled, but are just a different community. Where will this end?
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" instead of accepting help from a kind able body, we now press a red button to open a door."
That is the way it should be! I find it hard to believe that this person really is disabled and would prefer to wait for someone to happen along rather than just open the door for him or her self.
It isn't about kindness, ideally we will all strive to be kind to each other, disabled or able bodied; it is about equal access, where it is feasible. A button to open a door is not much to ask.
That is the way it should be! I find it hard to believe that this person really is disabled and would prefer to wait for someone to happen along rather than just open the door for him or her self.
It isn't about kindness, ideally we will all strive to be kind to each other, disabled or able bodied; it is about equal access, where it is feasible. A button to open a door is not much to ask.
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I'm a cripple. Have been all my life. Accepting help or money or a bottle of water when given is something I always do, even though I may not need it. Here in the USA, political correctness has gotten to the point where there are red buttons everywhere, and instead of accepting help from a kind able body, we now press a red button to open a door. This costs thousands of dollars.
Back in the old days, ABs could feel free to help as they saw fit, but now, sadly, they feel afraid because of this beeyotch in a wheelchair who refuses help, then dumps her slop all over the floor.
But now, they must walk on eggshells. No surprise some ABs hate us disabled, or at least feel uncomfortable. We need to remember, ittakes a majority to have a minority. That is, without some able-bodies listening and helping, we would be nowhere in life.
So THANK YOU, to anybody who runs to open a door for me, heavy or not. And thank you to whoever, without asking, buys me a bottled water at the ball field. It's the thought that counts more than the action. Too bad we aren't allowed to think logically anymore. We need to think PC.
Back in the old days, ABs could feel free to help as they saw fit, but now, sadly, they feel afraid because of this beeyotch in a wheelchair who refuses help, then dumps her slop all over the floor.
But now, they must walk on eggshells. No surprise some ABs hate us disabled, or at least feel uncomfortable. We need to remember, ittakes a majority to have a minority. That is, without some able-bodies listening and helping, we would be nowhere in life.
So THANK YOU, to anybody who runs to open a door for me, heavy or not. And thank you to whoever, without asking, buys me a bottled water at the ball field. It's the thought that counts more than the action. Too bad we aren't allowed to think logically anymore. We need to think PC.
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A Grateful Wheelchair Gimp - 4-Aug-11 03:54
I wonder if maybe the "woman" in the above was maybe tired of people assuming because she was in a wheelchair she was helpless, people in wheelchairs are NOT helpless. She may of been asked so much and I am sure said "no" a lot and I am sure some of these people decided not to listen to her and help her anyway. I think she was annoyed that again someone asked her for help. I think she could of handled it better, maybe politely saying no thank you.
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Katie - if only some disabled people are considered rude then that is not a stereotype. Some non disabled people are also rude so that makes disabled people just like everyone else.
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@Carrott, the stereotype of some disabled people (Not All) is that they are rude, asking someone in a wheelchair if they need help is not something to get offended over and thats why people may not want to help because they dont want their heads snapped off.
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“her behaviour only feeds to the stereotype that people have regarding people with disabilities.”
Shock Horror! One disabled person was rude to one other person. It’s hardly headline news is it? A complete storm in a teacup that only serves to illustrate how some non disabled people view the disabled as an homogenous group.
Is there a stereotype that disabled people are rude and abusive? I have never heard it.
The original poster says that he/she was taught to offer help to disabled people and presumably has done just that all his or her life. Now because one disabled person was rude, a lifetime of meeting gracious and polite people is forgotten and he/she is never going to offer help again.
That is so lame and childish – this person needs to grow up and stop judging disabled people by the behaviour of just one person.
Shock Horror! One disabled person was rude to one other person. It’s hardly headline news is it? A complete storm in a teacup that only serves to illustrate how some non disabled people view the disabled as an homogenous group.
Is there a stereotype that disabled people are rude and abusive? I have never heard it.
The original poster says that he/she was taught to offer help to disabled people and presumably has done just that all his or her life. Now because one disabled person was rude, a lifetime of meeting gracious and polite people is forgotten and he/she is never going to offer help again.
That is so lame and childish – this person needs to grow up and stop judging disabled people by the behaviour of just one person.
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Some people with Disabilities think they are entitled because they are disabled, I am a person with a Disability and would never act in a rude manor towards anyone and I certainly don't think I am entitled because of it. I think the woman in the wheelchair acted rudely to you and the server and her behavior only feeds to the stereotype that people have regarding people with disabilities.
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Peter W - I agree. On balance, it has been my experience that disabled people are "more sinned against than sinning."
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There are more able bodied people that are abusive to the disabled than the other way round, and thats a fact.
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I simply ignore anyone posting as 'anon'. May I suggest you all do the same, then these people will disappear, or metamorphose as people with names.
Anyone can post under any name they wish, so in a sense everybody is anonymous, but those who only use one name leave a trail of accountability because there is a thread that can be followed in the process of creating a coherent argument.
Once a person has posted a few times using the same name, they have a certain plausibility.
I thought that site admin were introducing log-in control, but that excellent idea seems to have fallen by the wayside.
Anyone can post under any name they wish, so in a sense everybody is anonymous, but those who only use one name leave a trail of accountability because there is a thread that can be followed in the process of creating a coherent argument.
Once a person has posted a few times using the same name, they have a certain plausibility.
I thought that site admin were introducing log-in control, but that excellent idea seems to have fallen by the wayside.
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Chris2, firstly I really don't care how many "anons" there are; if they all keep using the same name they obviously don't want to be seen as different individuals or can't be bothered to come up with individual names and identities as you have done. Therefore I will continue to lump them together as one.
anon said "Granny G - No one has the right to be rude but by singling out disabled people as a special case you are showing your prejudices." Chastising Granny G for singling out disabled people is ridiculous in this context as she was merely agreeing with the gripe. She may well have an axe to grind with rude able bodied people too, but this is not the place to grind it!
anon also said "Abled bodied people - I have heard some of them can be quite rude, even in response to a kindness. Sounds stupid doesn't it?". This of course is a fair point, one the original griper probably agrees with, but again, not the subject of the gripe.
If anon disagrees with the original gripe he/she needs to explain how they disagree. Do they think that disabled people have the right to be as rude as they like, or that they are never rude?
Gardener makes it clear that he/she has only been uncomfortable with disabled people since the unfortunate experience outlined.
Terri, you are perfectly right in all that you say; the original gripe just outlined a particular problem caused by one individual who may be rude all the time, or was just having a bad day!
anon said "Granny G - No one has the right to be rude but by singling out disabled people as a special case you are showing your prejudices." Chastising Granny G for singling out disabled people is ridiculous in this context as she was merely agreeing with the gripe. She may well have an axe to grind with rude able bodied people too, but this is not the place to grind it!
anon also said "Abled bodied people - I have heard some of them can be quite rude, even in response to a kindness. Sounds stupid doesn't it?". This of course is a fair point, one the original griper probably agrees with, but again, not the subject of the gripe.
If anon disagrees with the original gripe he/she needs to explain how they disagree. Do they think that disabled people have the right to be as rude as they like, or that they are never rude?
Gardener makes it clear that he/she has only been uncomfortable with disabled people since the unfortunate experience outlined.
Terri, you are perfectly right in all that you say; the original gripe just outlined a particular problem caused by one individual who may be rude all the time, or was just having a bad day!
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