Dealing with the ex wife is so frustrating
I have been Divorced for a couple of years now after my ex wife decided she wanted to be alone, start a new life and be totally independent.... which in actual fact was a lie because she now lives with a man who was previously a very, very good friend of mine. How blind and stupid was I? You see it's not just men that cheat - women are totally capable of adultery as well. After a few miscellaneous girlfriends I have finally found a decent, honest girl (yes there are actually some out there!) with whom I am happy. Good for me! My children who are aged 16 and 10 both get on with her very well, particularly my youngest daughter.
My ex wife has always been tricky to deal with. After the break up she basically took me for everything more or less, and this was due to me trying to do the best thing for my kids. She has lied her rear end off at every opportunity and as you'd expect, the lies has come out into the open now through natural events.
She is awkward and difficult at every turn...
My major gripe now is the spiteful games she is playing. She treats me like I was the one who ran off with HER friend. She is awkward and difficult at every turn when dealing with arrangements for our kids. Our communication is now so low that it is now only by text message or a message from one of the kids. It feels like she controls my life and I'm paying her for the privilege! The frustration I feel is massive!
The law in this country is so one sided when it comes to parents and kids. My ex wife has not worked for years spends money like water on a shallow life style which she is trying to impart onto the kids (this difference in parenting styles adds to my frustration). Perhaps I may sound a little bitter and twisted? Yes I most certainly am! But I need to get out of this downward spiral as it is consuming me. Does anyone else out there have an ex wife like this?
By: OrangePeel
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3 years ago my marriage finished after my husband beat me up, although i filed for a non-molestation order, which was granted and he had to leave the house. i decided not to press charges against him and the charges were dropped, afterwhich he returned to the family home and wouldn't move out. After about 12 months i couldn't take anymore and left with my 3 children to try and restore some normality to all our lives, things continued like this for about 1 yr then when he realised i wasn't going back he would inform social services that i was drinking alcohol whilst my children were asleep,not to excess just my way of coping. then 1 night in sept 2010 he turned up at my door with social services and removed my children and placed in his care, although i was lead to believe that this was only overnight it has been ever since. now my 13 yr eldest boy wishes to come back and live with me but dont know how to go about this, there is no residence order in place at the present but there is a court date in early jan 2012 as he is seeking residence. can i allow my child to come live here, a) without his fathers permission b) without him having to go back to his fathers. i know every case is different but my son asks me daily can he come and live with me, i just want to do all this legally and above board so that it cant hold greater consequences with me seeing my younger children.
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Hello, my ex wife is like yours in many ways. I completely supported her through medical school, 2 years afterwards and 2 years before. Paid for vacations, new apartments (notice the plural in V and A words). Paid for her car, which is still in her possession plus countless other things. Poor me (boo hoo). In actuality none of it matters and in your case I seriously recommend that you get your inner strength (balls) together and put a stop to all this. So, what to do right? 1st start keeping all records of expendatures, next strictly!!!!! follow the divorce decree. 3rd, STOP ALL CASH PAYMENTS!!! This is your proof and back up when you goto court to reduce your child and spousal support payments, thusly you're forcing her to get off her ass and get to work. 4th, keep audio and video records of all encounters. You said she's a manipulator right? Don't be the manipulated! 5th, make sure that you don't use her lies against her in-front of the kids. It does no good and will also bring out resentment from her, the kids and most importantly YOURSELF (done this one and it's real). Always remembering that moderation is key for any structure, follow your head and heart at the same time. Obviously giving your heart to your children and focusing on the ex with your head.
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The Attorney - 16-Aug-11 08:12
I am a woman and I left my husband but I have to say I have always gone out of my way to be nice to him ive always considered his feelings in everything ive ever done with our son and usually put my exs feelings before my current partners.Also from the beginning I was always more than fair both financially and with regards to access he saw our son as often or as little as he wanted, weve always had a great friendship and have both put our son first who is now 16 and a great young man.Its a pity some of these b...... who leave there husbands for other men think about there exs a little more instead of being totally selfish and asuming because they gave birth to the children its there given right to dictate and make their exs lifes hell.
To all men out there some of us women (ex's) can be half decent.
To all men out there some of us women (ex's) can be half decent.
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yes I had one-am still in fmh and she has put off 330 viewings and 8 accepted offers on sale of home, has me working 2 jobs, does not work and each month I go more and more in debt.
she even has an order that states I am not able to leave my job or stop paying mortgage
she even has an order that states I am not able to leave my job or stop paying mortgage
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There are millions of us men out there in the same boat. The law is an ass, I can fully appreciate why murder is committed. You cant deal with a selfish child who cares about nothing except herself.
Perhaps the children should be taken away from these women so they learn the lesson of pain
Perhaps the children should be taken away from these women so they learn the lesson of pain
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well I had to go traveling half way around the world to get away from the lies that were getting told about me I could not step foot in ASDAs where she still works as I got a note in my fb inbox that I stay away from her work and her village and stay away from my daughter she says ....also she been telling all the lies of the day to make her feel good and for others to feel sorry for her ... and if I didnt go travelling I would not be here today as of all the rubbish she comes out with ... wanting company cars that I drove humm not in my name tho ...and still is ... telling all the lies ....but I got the best one back on her called csa told them that I had been paying money into her bank account from mine and she also got money off me for the sale of the house that she was not even on the paper work .... and to top that off she now has a court order that if she comes within 200 yards close to me or says anything that I hear about she will land her self in court so to my ex wife ha ha kiss my ass you should not tell lies as it will come back on you just like this has to her ..... I feel good dooo daa dooo .. so I know how others feel put your foot down guys dont let them walk all over you play the deaf and blind game with them and dont give in you cant get blood out a stone....
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dont tell lies ladies - 21-Dec-10 01:25
I do...and because my story is so similar...i can only say keep breathing.. I dont know when i'll crack but i'm praying I dont for my daughters sake.
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Wow this is good to read. I met my now Ex, helped raise her 2 and 1 of mine. weve been tight for 8 years. Now she decided she want more. Met a guy with a Farm and a house. I call to say goodnight to the kids she wont respond or return calls. I'm very close with all the kids. The Stepkids were 1 and 3 when I met them and even their father wants me to maintain my relationship with them but she has left me to pay her bills and she's driving my car to her new boyfriends house and doesnt return my calls. when I do get hold of her she acts so freaking nice and explains that her phone wasnt charged or couldnt pick it up while driving. What can I do. I'm sure she's telling the kids I didnt call but this is totally untrue. I call all the time and she calls when she needs something. I Guess I need to get with the game but I just have a hard time doing this to my kids. Someone asked me the other day if im interested in dating again!!!! Who the f... would let this happen to them again. My Ex was a good church going person, earthy, healthy, attractive and really genuine person when we met. I dont trust anything anymore but myself. I try not to be angry but WTF !!!!
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Wow this is good to read. I met my now Ex, helped raise her 2 and 1 of mine. weve been tight for 8 years. Now she decided she want more. Met a guy with a Farm and a house. I call to say goodnight to the kids she wont respond or return calls. I'm very close with all the kids. The Stepkids were 1 and 3 when I met them and even their father wants me to maintain my relationship with them but she has left me to pay her bills and she's driving my car to her new boyfriends house and doesnt return my calls. when I do get hold of her she acts so freaking nice and explains that her phone wasnt charged or couldnt pick it up while driving. What can I do. I'm sure she's telling the kids I didnt call but this is totally untrue. I call all the time and she calls when she needs something. I Guess I need to get with the game but I just have a hard time doing this to my kids. Someone asked me the other day if im interested in dating again!!!! Who the f... would let this happen to them again. My Ex was a good church going person, earthy, healthy, attractive and really genuine person when we met. I dont trust anything anymore but myself. I try not to be angry but WTF !!!!
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Men are, half of the baby provide...and then a wage, until a better deal comes in, in the shape of a better waged man. Happiness begins on the inside and is projected out, not the other way round. People who get together to get 'Happy' are making a huge mistake... a baby can't be seen as the solution. Lots of women marry because they 'Have to' as its the done thing (And maybe a 'good idea'), and thy don't want to be left out when their friends are all married... any man will do, for now...until...
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bobbledobbledop..lol - 16-Nov-10 10:10
Yup... Women are evil.... There is no way to get around it. I am a women who has been divorced and really could care less what me ex-does, but some women have to! My current husband's ex-wives... You read it right... two wives always causes drama with his kids. To the point she has taken no responsibility. Waiting for a "Man" to take care of them. If women wanted equal rights... should that apply to everything?
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my ex wife of 5 years is also very spiteful she is still tormenting me and my new wife, [who I didnt meet until 12monts after my seperation] she has told so many lies ie I used to beat her up, iv verbally threatened her, iv harrassed her on the phone im a gangster iv sent boucers to her house I ran off with another woman, and the list goes on and not one of these allegations are true, im pretty sure id have been locked up by now.... while on holiday she superglued my wifes locks on the doors costing £200 ro repair.. I divorced her because of her unreasonable behavior, debt and deciet which she didnt contest.... the court ordered the sale of the house 10 july 2006 the sale sign did not go up until 28 october after numerous solicitors letters. she lives in the house with her boyfriend and we pay 50/50 mortgage each until its sold. my problem now is she is putting viewers off by saying she has mice noisy neighbours and pointing at a babys cot saying I am having her and my grandaughter thrown on the streets, this feedback was l given to me by the estate agent, I went to seek a solicitor who telephoned the agent , the agent denied she was hindering the sale because the agent is afraid of ex as she is very loud. in june last year 09 I had a text from my daughter saying the flat roof was leaking and two ceilings had fell in and would I go half with ex to have the roof repaired I agreed. to cut a long story, she didnt want my reputable roofer she wanted her own who had no name no contact details [stalemate] ,august 09 I sent a solicitors letter to force her to get the roof repaired which was carried out in oct. to date jul 10she still hasnt had the 2 ceilings repaird. it will cost me £1400 to take her to court as she is hindering the sale.
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my partner is having trouble with csa.after fifteen years of no contact the infertile?woman who had his child?has reared her ugly head and demanded 120 a month off him(arrears inc)he is only a hgv driver on a low wage,we have a four year old and now we cant get married so my child is losing out.this woman got married three years ago so my fella(her cash cow)filled the gap when her benefit stopped when she married (learning delay disabilty,for seventeen year old daughter).she married money(of course)she claimed benefits for years but still managed a 120,000 house buy at the same time(working illegally?)csa cancelled original order on her instruction?then denied all knowledge,saying it was a mistake,hence 10,000 arrears to pay.i'm all for a father? paying support but fifteen years later she moved on he moved on,she laughing in our faces,me desperate.working five jobs with two health probs of my own,no chance my son will have his mummy and daddy together.cant afford it!one more year that is if she doesn find a way to keep him paying.she knows how to play the system,we dont.HOW CAN THIS BE FAIR?how does the spiteful cow sleep at night.nothing from her for years then this.thanks JW.
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bitter and twisted (i think not) but hurt for being taken for a ride, which is only normal. if I were you keep the relationship up with your children and TOTALLY cut her off out of your life, your children are old enough to have direct contact with you (my partner pays for his childrens mobile phones so they can always contact him) dont run their mother down to your children or let them know how you feel, best of luck (i am just so glad im not one of these disgracefull horrible women that I keep reading about)
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just a woman 01 - 14-Jun-10 15:19
Nannytothefather- I do not agree with your comment I would have thought more of your situation if you had said "I love my children so much that I live within a mile of them and insist on 50-50 joint care". In our situtation my partners ex ran off with his best friend, moved him in the same day she moved the kids out of the family home, was pregnant within a couple of weeks and took the children 250miles away--- why should my partner then have left his job and his home to earn half the amount of money and live in a flat( as to go from north to south that would have been the case) to chase her round the country-- because then the next thing would be oh your living accomodation is not suitable for overnight stays. I know each case is different but one thing that most people fail to recognise is what is in the best interest of the child????? and in our case for an ex who is happily she has a funny way of showing it as the only trouble caused is by her- whether that be because of jealousy, regret or somethin else we dont know all we know is we do everything we can to make the kids happy with as little stress for them as possible.
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Tonight at 9 pm on BBC2, is the documentry about not been able to see your children, because you have no money left to take your ex wife to court, because the CSA has taken it all. and when you don't take her to court, she can then tell the children that you don't love them, and you won't ever see them again, but you will be still be expected to pay for them five times over.
3 million women can't be wrong?
3 million women can't be wrong?
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Oh yes they can. - 31-Mar-10 11:36
>>>>> UK is the Home of the how to make women rich quick and how to make men homeless and not see their geourgeous children ,<<<<<<
WAKE UP MP,S --- SEE THE LIGHT ?
WAKE UP MP,S --- SEE THE LIGHT ?
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MR homelessfarther - 31-Mar-10 10:39
Equal parent responsibility,lol no such thing here in UK 8 months not seeing my children and no one can help , living in a van ,wife living in the house I worked so hard to get .
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MR homelessfarther - 31-Mar-10 10:35
UK law is an ass,, about ime it was mended ,, to many families are broke up because the woman knows shes in a win win situation ,,, UK LAW SUCKS ,,,,,,,, BIG TIME!
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MR homelessfarther - 31-Mar-10 10:32
Ditto! At my divorce hearing the judge told my ex that she'd had it too good for too long as she was always reliant upon my income, and told her to get a meaningful job. He was right of course, but I still got ripped off! I brought a child up on my own, who has gone on to be well educated and has high moral standards and a good job. I had contact with the other one, but she persistently broke the court order which was affecting the children. In the end I told her to grow up and act responsibly. Needless to say she did neither. I am well rid of her but she has caused mayhem with the kids because she is a control freak! the Government and courts only want your money. They have no interest in your family circumstances or your children!
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