My ex turned the CSA on me

Totally unbelievable and totally unrealistic way of looking at things - this is the CSA for you.

just to add. my husband has got parental responsibility for his son, we had to take her to court in the begining because she wouldnt let us see him, it cost us thousands in solicitors fees because my husband was working and she didnt have to pay anything because she wasnt working we were having him every other weekend, now she has turnd him against us and stopped him from coming to see us.even while this was going on he was still paying her he had it taken from his wages.. so he has that proof but he changed his job and just started paying it direct to her .. we should have known she would turn on us..

my husband was paying his ex £90 pw for his son. since we got together 8yrs ago it went down to £40pw then £20pw the csa recalcalated this because we I have 3 children at home..he has always paid this in her hand, she told the csa that they were dealing with it between them.. now because she has remarried and her new husband dosnt work she has gone to the csa and told them he has never paid her anything. he has no proof that he has paid her and she has no proof that he hasnt. the csa have told him that there is nothing he can do and he has to pay all the back dated money they want him to pay £78 pw now.. just on her say so.. so if any one has a friendly arrangment with there exs please make sure you get proof of your payments because you dont know when things could ...get ugly and she could turn on you and you will be in a lot of dept like we are.

There seems to be unhappiness on all sides of this argument, but it really is a case of person to person. There have to be guidelines. The CSA can not be blamed for working to them. It seems to me that it is the parents, either one or the other, that are not being reasonable and acting out of spite. Break ups are messy and it is easy to forget about the children and their best interests which is certainly not listening to their parents argue about money. I split from my partner 2 years ago now. We had a VERY bad break up but I gave him parental responsibility without him having to go to court for it. He sees our son on a regular basis, every other weekend, every other thursday night and half the holidays. He has a well paid job, and taking everything into consideration he should pay £25 a week. In mediation he told me to take him through the CSA because he assumed I may try something similar to what you have described. I pay for everything he needs, to my son he is just the 'fun' Dad, he spoils him bad mouths me and laughs at my efforts to get any money off him. He has paid nothing and the CSA are useless. It amazes me that they are making you pay this money. They seem to be unable to get money from my ex. Even with his NI number, address and place of work. I am at my wits end, have two jobs to support myself and have never tried to keep my son away from him. He deserves to know his father. All I can hope for is that he sees just what he is like for himself. Because you never really know someone until something like this happens.

the problem is clearly not the csa or the law but the morons who cannot act like responsible adults/parents. if your realtionship breaks down and the bile starts spilling the one thing kids can rely on is a small contribution from the parent who is not there supporting them fully as they should be because they cannot grow up and deal with their broken relationship. yes its bitter and your hurt but - a big but - they are just kids, and they are yours.

I do think the csa are bad but on the same token the parents have to take responsability for etting them involved in the first place.the csa cannot be blamed for 'spitefull mothers' for instance or 'absent fathers' ...my 5 year old son gets 150 in his savings account a month through the csa from his dad but still no contact, ive told his dad I would much rather he keep his money and have more contact with his son as he misses his dad yet he still chooses the berr/mates/girlfriends/nights out over his son....therefore my little man goes without a dad. I had no choice but to involve the csa as I dont agree with fathers spendin money on beer etc and leaving us mothers to fend for everything

Anndy..... because you have 2 kids for god sake! it doesnt matter how much you earn, you should still contribute.

hello
I have got 2 children my ex sometime she saying is not my kids and also she saying is my kids only when I pay ,but now I last my job and I am on jobseeker allowance even now I pay them 5 pound a week ,since I lost my job she doesnt let me see my kids .
I get less than 50 pound a week , and my ex she get more than 200 hundred ,now I don't understand why I should pay for CSA when she get more money then me

It's not always fathers who are treated unfairly. My ex husband decided to stop maintenance payments when our daughter was still in her last few months at school moving on to college after the summer holidays. I never initially asked for maintenance and he paid a small amount monthly of his own accord for 8 years. I got the CSA involved believing it would be fair but they couldn't assess him properly. He took my daughter and put a claim in for child benefit in which they just gave it to him (don't even get me started on them) and told the CSA he'd now claim off me. You know what they said to me? Oh we didn't expect him to do that, sorry, you'll only have a short time to pay though until she's left full time education. Needless to say I wish I'd never got in contact with them. They made an absolute mess of the whole case. How on earth could I end up paying child maintenance when I was the claimant to start with. It ruins your family and my daughter doesn't want to be living with him but nobody seems care about that.

CSA should in theory only deal with a case from the day they are contacted, they cannot as far as I am concerned, back pay demand for before they were contacted you should have found this out when they contacted you. Also if she is stopping you seeing the kids, get a contact order, and LIP its as easy as a walkint he park I did it and now know when I will see my kids, she has lost all control, they hate it but its law.

These single mothers are just using their children to claim the equivalent of incapacity benefit, (but no questions asked in these cases), a free house and a free meal ticket off the non-stop working taxpayers..... working taxpayers that would love to have more time to themselves instead of working, but can't afford to because they have to work hard to pay more tax so these parasites can rest all day long.

Working hard, all these single mothers out there that have lived for many years off the taxpayers and fathers, should now have their houses equity taken away from them to re-emburse the taxpayers and estranged fathers, that would make things fair, oops I forgot, the governments wouldn't do that as girl power wouldn't let them.