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Nasty teachers and teaching assistants

We are well aware that we are probably in the minority here, but unfortunately we have had a particularly unpleasant experience with teachers and teaching assistants at our local school.

Particular teaching assistants and teachers alike can make your child's life hell and naturally the parents life as well.  They know that they will be supported by the school itself and we, being the parents are sullied.  What can you do as a parent if a member of staff takes a dislike to the parents and then is able to get up to all kinds of mischief to hurt and upset the child and this in turn affects the parent which they very well know.  When the school constantly shines with their academics and trophies, how are you as a parent able to convince anyone that it is a few members of their staff that are making your child's life miserable?

I have only just recently discovered that my child was made to pick up rubbish under hedgerows and in the fields of the school (decided by the Headteacher) and to mop walls in the infant playground.  The dinner ladies spraying goodness knows what on the walls and then informing my child to get on with it - my child is only seven.  How is a seven year old suppose to know the difference in what is safe to pick up and what is not.  A dirty pan was found and on it, I hope was just grease and nothing more sinister, because it was picked up in such a way that it ended up all over bare hands and took some time to wash off.  This is an absolute breach of trust and a major concern for my child's health and welfare.  When cleaning the wall they only provided my child with a mask upon asking for one, and only after the wall had been sprayed - they apparently wore a mask themselves.  This is absolutely extreme and I am sure they would deny that it has nothing to do with the fact we had complained about a particular teaching assistant because she had spent half the year shouting and seem to think it was okay to grab my child's hand tightly whenever she felt like it and squeeze.

This very same assistant had decided my child needed to go to the Headteachers office and was being so naughty over another incident that it was my child that needed to be made an example of.  How vindictive and cruel.  In the all the years I have been a part of primary school life as a parent, I have witnessed and experienced some of the staff take advantage of their control and power and abuse their situation.  They have used that same position to vilify and damage parents and children alike if your face doesn't fit in their world.

I have seen them hide behind their titles, have experienced their smirks and their condemnation.  I have seen first hand the "What can you do about it, you're powerless, I'm not.  If I have to, I'll rally my colleagues and just say another parent has complained." or the "They think "Parents just don't understand how hard we work how much we have to get through.  I am the teacher or the assistant here, I can cover this up and just say your child is so naughty!" kind of attitude.

How easy, for the few staff that although, maybe qualified to teach, have no people skills and to simplify are just plain mean and get away with bullying children and their parents alike.  As a parent you don't want to rock the boat and cause any disharmony, so you let many things go.  You say to yourself 'they are just trying to do their job under difficult circumstances.' We are all aware its not easy being a teacher today.  Parents are constantly accused of not bringing their kids up right, but what if you are trying to do just that and someone in a supposedly respectable position is making sure people think exactly the opposite?  What I ask is: if there are parents who are bad apples according to school grapevine, then wouldn't it stand to reason there are some bad apples that spoil the basket in every school, some teachers or assistants that take advantage of their situation?  As human beings in a civilised society, are we not allowed to question teaching methods without fear of retribution?

When you have a concern about your child, you'd think that you have every right to talk to the teacher and air your concerns.  Not always so apparently, because some will make you pay if they don't like you.  It's always the little things, not quite noticed by anyone else, just the child and yourself.

For instance your child hands in their slip to join a club and yet is not able to do so.  Why you ask? No spaces maybe?  A valid point, could be; but that doesn't explain why other children get into the club after your child has been told there is no place for them.  When the teacher asks the whole class who wants to join a club, 'put your hand up' and your child is literally reaching for the sky and still is ignored.  You go into the school (a place where apparently all parents are welcomed) smile congenially, ask politely if there might be a chance in the future and they respond with "As I said to your child there are no places as yet." What do you do?  Argue?  No way!  As a parent you can leave but your child can't, so you remain quiet and hope for the best.  This is only one of the many problems we have been faced with and haven't know what to do, or more importantly who to go to to.

You can accuse me of being overly sensitive and just another parent who worries about their child too much, however I know what my duties are as a parent.  I try to bring my children up to have respect for people and to have empathy and consideration for the feelings of others.  The consequence of all this has been that my child had to be removed from a school which has excellent Ofsted reports and isn't something we decided lightly.  My child complained of stomach ache, cried, and complained of feeling unwell.  This has been a dreadful situation, and completely unjust.  People working in a school should not be allowed to get away with using a responsible position as a smoke screen for their own misdeeds.

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I agree there are some nasty teachers. They are just on ego trips and wouldnt know how to treat children properly if their life depended on it. If a child has issues at home and needs dealing with sensitively they dont care, its all about what they want and what they say goes. They dont give a damn for the way a child is feeling and it is heart breaking to see at times. I am a teaching assistant and treat children in my class like i want my children treated in school. It is so frustrating and the anger it causes me when i see teachers doing only what i can describe as bullying is awful. Head teachers are the worse they think they are gods gift and its their way or you are in big trouble. We work on the EYFS profile, which says we should have "Positive Relationships" with children. I wish.

+1

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Spikey - 9-Oct-11 00:12 

I once tried to train as a teacher. I quit not because of the children, but because the other teachers were horrible people. TBH I think a lot of teachers unfortunately go into teaching because they enjoy the feeling of tyrannical power over a class of 20-30 young people.

+5

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Zyrcona - 12-Sep-11 11:46 

I suggest you don't encourage your child to be such a spoiled brat. Your actions are really an example of the sort of 'my child is perfect' stupidness that causes society to break down because your kid grows up to be selfish and nasty and thinks the world revolves around them.

-3

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Not impressed - 5-Sep-11 09:09 

This is sumthing simular 2 my sons school they wanted me to remove my son from there school as they said he had learning problems even tho i now that he is ok to be taught at the school. Then from then on they started to pick on me and my son ie the teacher and his principal it started off with my little ones p1 teacher pulling me everyday after school sayin my little one had been bullying other kids even tho i new that this was un true then my son started getting bullied when i told the teacher my concerns she blamed me and started shouting at me in front off other parents. then 1 day my son received a bruise on his face when i asked the teacher how he had received it she said she didnt now then she tried 2 blame me even tho i had witnesses who saw my son come outta the school wif a bruise. I have had to think about maybe seeking legal advice due 2 this matter as they call social services each time i go 2 them becouse off me being concerned that my little 1 has been being bullied. they waited till the summer holidays the last day off school 2 say they didnt want my son at there school and they did this by a phonecall im sick off the teachers treating me like this and iv already spoke 2 health proffesions as my son has got a heart problem. the teachers have also tried 2 say that other parents have complained about my son but i feel they are just sayin this 2 use an excuse 2 have my son leave the school i also feel that i am a target as i am a single parent i really dont now wat 2 do about this situation can any 1 give me any advice thankyou

-4

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K-LO - 8-Aug-11 19:28 

Don't worry, their supercilious attitudes will soon be knocked into the long grass when this government puts them and their unions into place. Teachers have most certainly become to big for their boots.

-2

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Mag T - 15-Jun-11 11:58 

they like to use confidentiality as a smokescreen and denial too.
hope it got better for you all.

-2

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suz - 14-Jun-11 12:42 

I well remember my miserable school days , but my kids school was appaling , you dont have a choice of schools in a very rural area , the school was so snobbish my kids were the only ones who came from a council house and they were reminded of this every day in their nursery class derided for not having the right make of shoes, not going to ballet , tumble tots ,brownies etc , we even had to endure a home inspection visit from the nursery teacher because my son had "behavioral problems"he flatly refused to speak to anyone for months at school and just sat their and glowered , this culminated in them insisting he saw an educational psychologist.
Summoned into school for a kangeroo court on our dreadful parenting ,as a final salvo the nursery teacher opens the brown envelope with said report whips it out reads it and turns purple . Nothing wrong with him just a very high IQ and possibly bullying !!

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kate - 28-May-11 10:46 

As a teacher, I am appalled at the way that some of you or your children have been treated.

These people do not deserve to teach and should be kicked out of the profession. Stress should not be an excuse for bullying a child. Thankyou to the people who have said some good words about teachers though, because not all of them are bad and it is certainly not the case in most classes that if the parent upsets you, you bully the child!

I hope these nasty teachers you talk about get some comeuppance, it is not fair to the children or to the decent teachers and TA's around!

+1

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Teacher - 4-Apr-11 18:09 

Our school song was the Eton Boating song, God knows why,is this one apt?
Maidens of, ---------s gird your armour on.
Grab the nearest weapon; never mind which one.
The battle's to the strongest; might is always right.
Trample on the weakest; glory in their plight.
-----------s! ----------'s! Our battle cry.
-----------'s! ----------s! Will never die.
Stride towards your fortune boldly on your way,
Never once forgetting there's one born every day.
Let our motto be broadcast: "get your blow in first!"
She who draws the sword last always comes off worst.

0

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Cynical Boblet - 25-Mar-11 21:08 

These teachers have never left the classroom. They leave school to go to college and university then they go back to school to teach. They have no idea what it is like in the real world and half of them would never survive. I was bullied at primary school by a spiteful female teacher. She absolutely hated me for some reason and made my life hell. She moved me away from my best friend as she was her 'pet'. She humiliated me a every opportunity telling me I was useless at PE, drama etc. and pathetic on a daily basis. I was a very shy child and I think thats why she thought of me as pathetic. This has stayed with me forever and I am nearly 40 now and it still upsets me. My two kids are at primary school and my eldest one says the teachers are always picking on her and never believe her if someone says she's done something pushed them or something just because she doesn't want to play with them, she tells the teachers what has happened but still gets punished while the other child then sniggers behind her back. The head teacher is very false and only talks to certain parents in the 'in croud', my kids hardly ever get any praise for their efforts and its always the same kids who get certificates for their good work every week. One teacher who knew my daughter was working hard to be the 'busy bee of the week' deliberately made her wait til the last week of the school year and then she had to share the award with two others because the teacher hadn't left enough weeks for every child to get it on their own. I hated school when I was young and I hate it again now as a parent - things never change, these teachers who bully were probably school bullies theirselves years ago.

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dienolan - 25-Mar-11 19:52 

Many teachers who bully children often hide behind the "just doing my job" excuse.
Factoid:Nazi war criminals tried to escape punishment for their war crimes by saying they were just doing their job or just following orders. That is not an excuse. If your job requires you to be evil and mendacious and you don't like it,you quit and get another job,okay?

-3

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DSG - 3-Feb-11 20:05 

I am so sorry you have had a bad experience with teachers and TA's - it does happen occasionally - I have witnessed it myself both as a teacher and in the distant past as a student. However, for every one bad apple - I know of an orchard of caring individuals.

-4

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Bagpuss - 20-Dec-10 16:52 

Hi I totally agree I am now in the same position my daughters school has great ofsted reports but im on the verge of moving her,I have been having problems with a dinner lady/teaching assistant who has worked at the school for many years.

Firstly she forced my daughter to eat her food when she didn't want it as she is a very fussy eater, so now I send her with a packed lunch everyday. She then she resorted to allowing everyone but my daughter into the basketball court and if the other children asked for her to come in she would say no. Then she started saying horrible remarks to her so when I had a word with this lady she said that basically my daughter was horrible and threatened to embarrass her I made the mistake of having nobody with me when she said this.

I made an appointment to see the head surprise surprise,the head made her excuses and said she have never had a problem with a child before so I basically told her this wicked witch of a woman was bullying my daughter and I want her kept away from her or i'll go above her head.

My daughter came home from school that day and said that the teacher in question and the deputy head asked her to tell me she was lying so that I would drop it. So now I go back up the school really angry and the head agrees to keep her away. Six months later other than a few sly remarks I thought it had all stopped but my daughter had a friend over for tea this friend has special needs and she is often taught privately by this nasty woman. When this little girl went in and told this teacher that she came to my house and went for a burger the teacher said to her you shouldn't be eating burgers it unhealthy and your acting like (my daughter) don't go to her house again and don't talk to her.

Well this little girl has no other friends so she got a little upset and this was all over heard by another little girl who told my daughter what she said. I then rang this little girls mum and asked her to ask her daughter what the teacher had said to her and word for word she told so now this little girls mum is very angry.

This teacher is very unprofessional she also buys the little girl who came to my house presents all the time and will not think twice about giving them to her in front of all the other children. Do you think I am over reacting and how do I report this situation to higher authoraties? My little girl is 9 years old.

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Shay - 26-Nov-10 18:24 

Not fair again sorry to hog this gripe it brings back memories. I was 9 and I forgot my reading book so my teacher made me start from scratch with my reading, yes, I had to start on the very young books that read "here is a dog" "the sky is blue" and so on. The whole class laughed and joked at my expense. When I told my dad he was livid, he must have put her in her place as she left me alone after his meeting. It's not 1910 anymore and I don't think teachers realise this. Xx

-4

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Not fair - 7-Nov-10 22:40 

I hated PE in primary school particularly net ball. I was always the shortest in my group so my teach would stick me as goal defence. If I didn't defend the net and let the ball she would make an example of me in front of the group. WHen I was 6 I vividly remember colouring in some Christmas pictures to make cards with. I decided to colour my snowman black and I could never keep in the lines, TA snatched it up and laughed with teacher about how silly a black snowman was, they then began to compare other colourings from the other children. These memories have stayed with me along with others. I'm 24 now and I know kids never forget these things when they happen.

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Not fair - 7-Nov-10 22:32 

There are plenty of teachers who bully, people don't kid yourselves. And as for the TA's, most of them need their job and are not going to tell on the teachers. Everyone knows if the parents upset the teacher, the teacher takes it out on the kid!!!

-4

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Lisa - 15-Oct-10 20:36 

Sorry, but you need help!
Teachers and TA's would never upset children unless it was absolutely necessary. I suppose your child is an angel at home!

-1

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Don't agree with this info - 10-Oct-10 19:20 

my autistic 7 yr old son was scared stiff of the T.A. in his last school.she was a nasty piece of work that ruled the classroom including the other staff! I wont bore you with the details but I armed myself with some assistance from a lady from parent partnership and read up on the SEN education policy and took my son away from the school and kept him at home for two months until I decided how he should be educated.. children dont go to school to be abused by staff and you do have choices!!!! a year on and im still angry about what happened to my son!! grrrrr.

-3

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bigbadmomma - 8-Oct-10 12:06 

I too have had a simular experince as above,My 9 year old has always been a model pupil, good reports and great marks etc..until now according to the school within one week of starting in september and having a new techer his behaviour dramaticaly changed ,he became withdrawn and depressed so much so he lost all his friends .He wet himself in the playground due to wanting to come back home .At this point it was bad enough for a doctors trip as we couldn't find out enterly what the problem was and still trusting in the school we believed our child was causing all the problems himself.(According to the head teacher).My boy was then sent on numerus hospital visits to try to figure out the problem ,at this point my boy was unable to attend school anymore due to depression, as nearly a full year had gone by,he was due to move to middle school and I thought we should give it a try... well 4 weeks into middle school and my son has turned back into the child that was so happy before.We are sure our childs problems were caused by his teacher but will never be able to prove this , as our child has aspergers syndrome and could not communicate with us what he was going through. All we can do is pray that no other child suffers at the hands of this particular teacher.

-1

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De de - 24-Sep-10 17:20 

One of the comments to someone else was to volunteer and be in the class to see for yourself.
I volunteered in y children's school during regular school and saw two wonderfully behaved children. I also sat outside the after school music class week after week and even though the windows were closed and blinds down, and the door shut, (Warning signals anyone) all I could hear was missSarah the keyboard teacher shouting each week. My children are normal, they are not angels but they are not devils. I see the other side too, the teachers are under stress - this one had all of 9 children to teach for 30 minutes, I can see how that would be stressful. My heart goes out to other parents just trying to do the best for their kids. Not all teachers are nasty and vindictive, but some are and they are usually just inexperienced and struggling and perhaps do not have the right personality to do this very important job. Praise to the wonderful teachers who teach fill classes of 30 or more students all day long and still have a smile on their faces as they wave the kids goodbye.

+1

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arma will be knocking on the - 22-Sep-10 02:21 

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