Ex won't have the kids overnight

After reading your note, it sounded remarkably familiar!! Ive got 4 kids 10 and under and exactly the same situation with no family nearby to help. Im glad to hear its not just me. Suppose we should just be thankful that we dont have the stress of the men wanting custody which is what ive seen from some couples that have split - both bad in different ways I guess. I wish you well in managing to get out a bit more. Very best wishes. Liz

If you can afford to pay for a studio flat for him why can't you afford to get a babysitter if you 'develop' your social life?

Then again maybe you are actually saying that you'd be happy for him to sleep on the sofa in his studio flat, maybe he's waiting until he gets a bigger place with TWO bedrooms.

Reading this has me feel I'm not alone, I thought I was the only one in this position its just so hard and my daughter is heartbroken don't know where to turn no one seems to be able to help>

Becca, Sorry to hear that. It's the same story all over but it's not an issue of gender here. It's all about self ex's and there's an equal number of both I think that won't have the kids overnight.

Gainsnorough lad, don't sweat it. Just another uneducated trout. Plenty of them in society.

may I also add I have to pay my ex when he does have them!! and he never gives me a penny!..and ive never once stopped him seeing them

snap im 22 with 2 girls my ex will only see them when it suits him which is hardly ever!!!...they bang on about fathers being hard done by,what about us women...i havent been out for nearly 2 years its depressing

Ex wont have the kids overnight.15th oct 2009 13:14.
This posting needs some punctuation in there somewhere before it makes any sense to me.

wat can we do to change the law I have been reading a few of these posts and it seems we r almost all in the same boat how do we changed this isnt it only fair the fathers do the same amount of work with the kids as we do the biggest thing they cant deal with is a women moving on

I go thru the same thing with my ex. He has other kids with someone else and tells everyone im jealous and I make it hard for him to get the kids! he uses that lies to keep me from having a social life because he knows if he keeps them overnight, I OUT!

I am in the same boat and totally feel for you. My ex promises to have our daughter every 4-6 weeks for the weekend then cancels so he can spend the time with his new girlfriend instead. I have no parents who can look after my daughter for me so am dependent on two of my sisters to have her overnight if I fancy a night out and I hate asking them. I have a new boyfriend who lives a 2 hour drive away so we can only see one another on weekends and it's difficult to actually spend time alone. Twice we've booked a camping weekend to coincide with my ex having my daughter and he cancelled on both occasions, out of spite and because his new girlfriend is more important than his child. I'm at the end of my tether. It's always me chasing the ex to see our little girl and all he does is verbally abuse me. I've decided to no longer contact him; if he wants to see her he can come and get her himself. See how long it takes him to get off his butt - see how much he cares about our child. I don't mind so much the lack of a social life, it's the fact my daughter misses her dad so much and I'm the one having to explain why he's letting her down again. He's a selfish git and it's really getting me down. I may as well be widowed!!

Meg, I believe he was responding to a poster below NOT to the original post above.

Gainsborough lad,

By trning the tables do you mean how would SHE like it if she moved into a flat provided by her ex then only saw the kids on rare very brief occasions when she felt like it?????

As for the poster being a typically "nasty female" did you READ her whole post???? The bits about how she has bent over backwards to arrange her entire life, work life AND social life included to enable his presence in his off-spring's life and he STILL isn't?????

You're 100% right. That sums up typical parental behaviour following a split. But it's daddy who is being typical!