Ex lives the life whilst maintenance is cut

danny boy / gainsborough lad, you say that you have sympathy for this woman but really this is just an excuse to tell everyone yet AGAIN what a terrible time you had with your ex wife.

You claim that this would have been worse had it happened to a man. As she was eight and a half months pregnant when her husband deserted her and left her to work two jobs and also raise his children, how pregnant were you when your marriage broke up?

In reality you have no sympathy for women, only men.

For what has happened to you full time working mum I give you my fullest sympathy, but it can, and usually is, a whole lot worse for the men, they can lose their wife, house, and never see their kid's ever again, and then to top it all, have £500-00 or more a month taken out of their paycheck for years and years on end, just for being married to a lousy so called mother.

I can totally apreciate how you feel.I was left 8 years ago at the age of 32 with a 4 year old and pregnant with a our second child 8 1/2 months pregnant.
My ex husband left for someone else then married her, he had a court order for maintenance and a contact order to see his children. He broke every rule in book, down varying maintenance from £1000.00 to £200.00 shortly after it was agreed in court. Forcing me to struggle and work two jobs even though he was earing approx £100,000.00 a year a driving around in sports cars changing them every six months.They also had a big white wedding,took all the children on fantastic holidays and were as awkwward as possible with any kind of parenting.
He then went to the CSA who awarded hom a nil assesment for the last year as he has wound up his company and now put everything through his new wife (where is the justice).The CSA seem powerless to these type of people who shone their responsibilites and trade in their wives and children for updated models.The only hthing I can say is good riddence to bad rubbish and the grass is not greener.

please ! , I totally understand you. my ex husband took everything I owned company,job, income, house even down to the broom! he put everything in his partners name, he is a multi millionaire,and also lives a life of luxury - he walked when our daughter was 5 and has never paid a single penny and rejected her. So my advice to you is let him get on with it,you have a right to be proud to be the mum you are, get rid of your anger, learn to love yourself and reward yourself for the priceless job you are doing, your children arnt daft they know you are struggling, but they will grow up to be loving appreciatetive human beings just like their mum.
There are so many decent men (who have been hurt,used and indeed frightened to love again)
when your ready im sure you will meet someone who truely deserves you and your children,
keep on going as you are it may not seem like it but YOU are doing so well as you are
best of luck xxxx

sigh, "depriving the adultress is only depriving the children" I know plenty of women that will spend on themselves first before their kids, booze ciggerettes and a full modern wardrobe come first before good quality food for the kids, and before you start a week long tirade I didn't say all single mothers.

ps I work 3-4 days a week to support 2 children under 2, their father gives us £30-50 a month if we are lucky, has a drug habit and continues to blame and attacke me for the past whenever I bring up the subject of money..... it makes me furious that he cannot separate the past from what his children need, my money goes on rents bills food provisions for the children.... most of the time I can make the money I earn stretch to everything we need but that is not the point? also there has been times when we have had nothing, his response is 'you are emotionally abusing me etc etc' this is why formal agreements are needed (our private arrangement fell through as he simply stopped paying after two months). It has nothing to do with why the separation took place, children are a shared responsibility. End of.

meal ticket??? are we all missing the point here? the money mothers recieve is to provide for the CHILDREN - no amount of bitterness of any partner should affect the father's responsibility to feed and provide for the basic needs of his children. depriving the 'adulteress' etc is only depriving the children. If a woman takes care of, provides for, makes a home for children which are not just hers, the father can and should at the very least put food on the table regardless of who was to blame for the separation.

karen mc, as you are not going out to work and just sponging of the taxpayers for years, it is very fair that you don't have much free spending money, people on the minimum wage working a full 40 hours a week pay £8-00 a week in tax to support the idle likes of you, they don't have any spare spending cash either, as they haven't got the free meal ticket that you have.

I have a similar situation, my ex pays me pennies for our daughter, he stopped supporting our son over a year ago after he left school. our son gets no benefits and I am only working part time and am not entitled to claim tax credits for him. he has re married and has 2 step kids. he and his new wife work and she gets maintainence for both kids from their fathers. I have been told by the csa that as her kids are in his care I will not get as much maintainence as I would if there were no step kids involved. so I have to struggle on next to nothing while her kids get financial support from 4 adults . I asked the csa if they thought this was fair and I was told that this is a fair system and that if I didnt like it then tough. how can they realistically say this is fair

Although my ex partner didn't own a company, he was earning approx £600 a week. We have 2 children and he had to pay £120 per week. As soon as he found this out, he quit his job. He has since (whilst not claiming any benefits) bought his own house and is currently driving a brand new vw golf. All this whilst not working!!! The csa can't do anything, as like you he hasn't completed his tax return. I haven't had a penny in 2 years, and he still phones now asking if I can drop the kids to him as he hasn't any petrol. Well the problem with that is that my Solicitor says that I SHOULD take them over to encourage the relationship!!1 How bloody ridiculous is that?

One reason why men should not be allowed to hold good jobs.
Why everything should be turned on it's head and women should be the breadwinners.
Remember marriage = vulerability. marriage = dependance.
I'm never going to get married. Ever.

My husband physically and verbally abused me for nine years. I finally left him and he decided to go bankrupt. He has since set up a company in his mothers name and is earning in excess of £800 a week plus any company profit that he makes but is stateing that he is merely an employee of his mother and earning £289 a week of which I receive £42 for our two children (£7 is deducted because he has them every 14 days, he lives with his mother and she pays for their food whilst they are there). He asked me to put the company in his name and I refused!. I gave up a nursing course and several jobs because he refused to help look after our children and am now finding it difficult to get a job while he has had £2000 worth of porcelain veneers put over his teeth because he failed to brush them, a digger, a truck a new van and is treating his new girlfriend to I’m guessing anything she wants. He has a serious drug problem and always has had and lost three quarters of his lung because of it last year. Anyone who writes to you complaining that mothers decided to have they’re children so should get a job and stop relying on they’re meal ticket are completely missing the point that if absent fathers actually paid for they’re children, single mothers would not have to claim benefit that is being paid for by taxpayers. I could not get any help through CSA so have decided that the only way forward is to contact the internal Revenue Services and have him investigated for Bankruptcy Fraud. If you can’t beat them Join them!!!!