Denied access to my children by ex-wife

Grrrr .... I am a married mother of four. My older two are adults now & my son is also a father! He has a 15 mnth old daughter from a 3 yr relationship. However, he has NEVER been allowed to see his daughter, consequently neither have the rest of the family.... And the reason?? Well after three yrs in a relationship where my son say's his partners mother played an 'active role'... the relationship became strained, understandably! Finally my son's ex partner walked out on him five months in to her pregnancy & although my son tried every which way to get her to come back ... the 'Mother' intervened & so eventually he moved on. A few weeks after my son began a new relationship after a few mnths of trying to reconcile with his ex, he recieved a text message telling him "You will never see MY baby" .... And this is the case today! He has very little rights & although the new relationship didnt amount to much, my son is still expected to 'pay up & shut up'... which apparently according to the law, is perfectly acceptable!!!

Reading Sam's story brought back sad memories for me.Though my experience is not exactly the same,i can relate to it.I haven't seen my 2 daughters for 15 years.I heared that my daughters were talkin to my niece on facebook.So I told my daughter(their half sister) to get in touch with them.They started to talk to my daughter I asked if I could speak to them.They said ok.That was so nerve wracking.Within a week I to met up with them.The experience was unreal.The feeling is very weird.I've been seeing them now for 2 weeks and i've told them how much I love them and how much I missed them.I don't think they feel the same way but I had to say it just so they know.I'll feel lucky because I have a family that supports me in what I am doing and a wife like no other.What I need to say to you Sam is even though you can't see them,don't give up, never believe what people tell you about your children not wanting to see you.The day will come when you will see them again and don't hold back on the feelings.They will love you for it.

Google "child custody in sweeden"
They have joint custody after divorce, both parernts have to live close to the childs school and the child, or children spend an equal amount of time with each parent.

Over here, the governments and courts have decided that the only parent a child needs is a mother, and openly encourage it with a free house, not having to go to work till child is sixteen and free choice if she wants to allow her ex-husband to see his child or not,

Little wonder that after divorce, a third of ex-husbands in the UK don't see their kid's ever again, and as a final kick, the CSA ruin him, to suicide in some cases.

In saying that you won't ever deny access of your daughter to your ex, says that you are a decent woman, conpared to the lot who stop access out of spite,

Bearing in mind that a lot of people these days don't trust their partners, and that about five per cent of dads are bringing up Cuckoo babies, please forgive him for wanting a DNA test, you know you are the mother, but in this day and age, sometimes the man can only keep his fingers crossed, you only have to watch the all important DNA results on the Jeremy Kyle show to see why men don't have much trust these days.

FOLLOWED FROM BEFORE... I never put time restrictions on his visit but he chose to ony spend 1-2 hours with her. however, now she is older and in his eyes a "real person" he is demanding more time with her so I offered every weekend but he didnt wantthat because he didnt want to do the 35 min journey every weekend and now he has his own family he doesnt have time to do every weekend. he said he wanted a full day with her, picking her up in the morning and dropping her off at night. I said well increase the time gradually so with in the next few months thats the arragement well get to. I have had nothing but abuse from him, his current girlfriend and his family, they have insulted and critised me publicly, by text message, by phone and even came to my house and shouted and insulted me in front of my daughter. Throughout all this I have never once stopped him seeing his daughter, if he cant make a visit I will rearrange for him. this to me sounds like ive been reasonable throughout this situation (correct me if im wrong) but yet if you ask him then I am an evil cow that wont let him see his daughter when he wants to and hes always tried his hardest and has never done anything wrong. This is just an example of the difference of peoples opinins. In my eyes ive tried my hardest, in his eyes he does all he can n im the one thats peventing it because I didnt let him go from 2 hour to 8 hour visits straight away n wanted to do it gradually. I dont think people should ever stop their children seeing either parent unless there is a risk to the childs life but all im saying is that there is always 2 sides to the story n courts and CSA will never make the right decision 100% of the time. but im sorry to say that if my daughter turned round to me and said she doesnt want to see her father than I would have to respect my childs wishes no matter how hard the father tried.

hi, can I just make a point that nobody seems to have made yet. I have 2 year old daughter, my ex endedit when I was 4 months pregnant which I was upset about because I always wanted the "perfect" family life but I said we will keep things civil for the sake of the baby. he then had nothing to do with me for the next 4 months until he demanded a DNA test because he wouldnt pay any money until he had to (not because he didnt believe the baby was his, he knew she was). Even after that I tried to resolve it with him and said ill just askk him for money when im desperate, this however didnt happen and after 6 months of no money I had to get CSA inolved as I was struggling to cope financially. I let him and all his family come to the hospital when my daughter was born. I have lways said my ex and his family are welcome to come whenever he wanted but I said I think 2 times a week is probably the most realistic arrangement, the following few months he did nothing but mess me around, he would sometimes not turn up, sometimes turn up unexpectedly or sometimes change the days around a few times, when speaking to my ex's mum she told me its because my daughter is not a "real person" and he will show more interest when she can walk and talk and is a "real person". I allowed this because I have always said its my daughters choice to see her dad and until shes old enough to dcide herself I will not stand in the way of them having a relationship, so after constantly getting messed about we finally settled into a pattern that my EX was happy with, this being once every 2 weeks, I offered more but e didnt want it.

My husband went through the exact same scenario, the good guy is supposed to win in the end, you try not to hurt the children but if the ex doesn't follow with the same since of caring the children lose. See this link http://gooddadtreatedbad.blogspot.com/2009/11/to-begin-with.html, they are both cses of Parental Alienation Syndrome and very scarring for children

Sam what a shame you didn't fight for them sooner. Wasted years they are young ladies now.

Her kids when discussing access, your kids when demanding money, evil or what?

THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF THE NEXT BLURB BELOW!
get all of these things for free.
I can't go bankcrupt as i'll lose my job for that instead.
AND GET THIS, I took on her child from a previous relationship, her father contacted me after seeing this in the paper - i'd never been told this but he has now supplied me evidence that she did all of this years before and he has been throught exactly the same situation. Shame it was too late for me!

Mate no one here is alone, I speak with very recent first hand experience. Unfortunately my relationship broke down with my ex when our twin girls were only a year old. I left the house (in joint names!) originally to avoid any confrontation as there is only so much abuse a man can take, that coupled to the fact I work in the legal system and the constant malicious calls to the police by my ex was making life embarassing. I spent months staying in hotels, with friends and family only seeing my girls for a few hours a week generally when she needed a baby sitter.
Well enough was enough, it was still my house, I was still paying every bill and the mortgage I attempted to move back in. I was within the rights of the law and I have that expert knowledege!
Nope - I was arrested, interviewed bailed, not to go near my house, still didn't have any of my property, never even had an opportunity to collect any underwear, suspended from work and still have to pay everything.
Attempted access through solicitors, slipped into thousands of pounds of debt and eventually was charged with harassment because I had attempted to ask to see my gilrs. Never been violent or abusive.
I couldn't afford my legal defence fees as I worl I have to pay, cant afford to fight through civil courts as I work and have to pay, house has been repossessed as couldnt afford to pay for all the bills, she has moved god knows where with my gilrs and so have no chance of seeing them and I have a criminal record which has effected my job.
Fortunantely I have managed to keep my job through skin of my teeth however as I still work I am now being pessetered for arrears, cant afford court - id be better off being umemployed as suddenly i'll

not all women are bad mate . I am going thro a hard time with my ex even tho I got access she changes time days for access, with out even asking me (not that I would say no just like to be involved) wont even talk about my child with me E.G school home life nothing :(. after a long 6 years I am finaly going to go see a court to get solid access to se my son as I think it in he best interest to have more contact with me I love him so much, it breaks my heart every time I have to take him home. I am now with a great woman