Denied access to my children by ex-wife

I agree Gainsborough lad! The law is in desperate need of change here, and has been for decades. Nobody important seems to care about it though.

Observer, i'm not looking for an argument, but wouldn't it be easier if the governments changed the law? make denying access a punishable offence like dropping a cigarette end on the floor is.

You don't say why you split up in the first place. But if there was extra-marital relationship on your part, it is possible her behaviour boils down to simple, childish revenge. She knows how much it hurts you and that's her aim. You mention she is on benefits, which makes me suspect she's simply trying her luck, trying to get a few quid. You could of course quit your job tomorrow, just to p*ss her off, and start working again in 1 year's time, when she cannot touch your income.

Dear God, what a dreadful piece of work that woman sounds like. It's frankly unbelievably cheeky of her to demand money now, in this final year, after disregarding your rights to access for 10 years.

Perhaps you should write back to the CSA stating that you do not recognise their authority for as long as SHE does not recognise the courts authority. It may achieve nothing but will get your point across. Perhaps you should send them a copy of the court order, and say that you are confused which of them (Court or CSA) is correct, since the CSA seem to be supporting her denial of access while the Court support YOU.

If pushed, maybe explain that you need the money to undergo therapy and counselling caused by her refusal to do so. Better still book yourself in to the most expensive psychologist or counsellor you can find, and get some paperwork to prove the costs. Since she directly refused access in spite of a court order, she is plainly responsible for this mess.

Check with the C.A.B. if you are entitled to legal aid -- you may be able to engage a solicitor to sort this out.

I wish you luck.

I just threw in the towel and gave up, whats the point of spending thousands of £sss that you you don't have on going to court, only for your ex wife to just ignore the court order,

Your kids when it comes to cash, theirs when it comes to access.

Sally, in answer to your question "which is worse" a dozen or so fathers killing their children yearly because the mother can get away with threatening to stop him seeing his children?

Or just a couple of children being murdered yearly because the father simply wants to seek nasty revenge on his ex-wife for ruining his life?

I can only add that if there are any women out there who have denied access to children simply because they are bitter and scorned, then you have a little blood on your hands in my view.

You say that some women deny access to children if divorces are bitter or their ex has a new woman. You are right, they should not do that just to get back at the man but some men go so much further punishing their wives for finding a new man after divorce by killing their children so that she loses them forever.

Which is worse?

Thank you for the compliment that you think that I may be Gainsborough lad, Gordon Brown in 1997 robbed the pensions, being corrupt and biased he then gave this cash to mostly women in the form of family tax credits,

A woman in this country can enter a marriage pennyless and two years later emerge from a divorce very rich thanks to the female weighted judicial system, keeping the house and children and not having to go to work courtesy of the CSA and the ever willing taxpayers,

But the last perk that they have of being the ones who decide if the children can see their own father needs to be taken away from them, and it needs to be a criminal offence for them to deny access, there must be a dozen children a year murdered in custody battles and it must end,

I call it a perk because once an adultress sees that her ex husband has more spare cash or a fitter younger new partner, thats when she will get bitter and scorned and use her trump card to stop the father seeing his own children, it needs to be removed.

Danny Boy/ Gainsborough Lad

I agree that no parent should be able to deny access to the other unless there is a good reason such as abuse or the child is deemed by an independent authority to be in danger but how on earth is divorce a "perk" for women?

The perk of one divorced or seperated parent denying access to the children to the other parent needs to be taken away and made an instant criminal offence, parents shouldn't have to go to court time and time again, spending money they havn't got to fill the troughs of the judicial system,

The governments in recent times have had the bottle to take on terrorists around the world, but no-one in the government will take on girl power and dare take this perk of divorce off them,
and until this perk is taken away, more and more children will become the innocent victims of custody battles and get murdered by their selfish parents,

Perhaps the currant political parties flag should be draped over the coffins of the deceased custody battle children, and then widley shown in the media as a reminder of who is in power and who could change the law and stop these unwanted deaths,

Unless they are oblivious to these instances in the news.

It seems I am not the only one in this situation! I have two young sons who are 8 and 10 and I divorced some 3 years ago from the crazy ex wife. She has always been wrapped in cotton wool by her family and I realise that she never wanted to work.
She now has the marital home from the divorce, two healthy kids, a third of my wage every month through the CSA (who I am so surprised haven't been employed to find Bin Laden bearing in mind how they can find anybody where money is concerned!!) and she is still not happy unless she is doing what she can to prevent me seeing them as she has very little else to occupy her small mind.
My new partner is a diamond and the only thing keeping me sane. She transferred her job, moved her life 90 miles to be with me for the benefit of the kids and we since have had to get a harrassment warning issued on the ex due to abusive letters and texts from her.
I have a contact order but after only 6 months I have now been unable to have my sons this weekend as in her words "it's their decision not to see you". Fathers are always treated appaulingly especially by the courts. Like the comment made by "LOST", I intend to keep all the copy of the letters that I have sent my ex so that in years to come, they can see my constant battles to see them and hopefully they will see their mother for what she really is. They will hit their terrible teens in a few years so I expect that the inevitable "go and live with your father if you're not happy" will kick in as she realises that she should have adopted a different approach.
My door always remains open for them and at the end of the day. I am the better mature person in this and if she wants to stare at four walls dwelling on the past for the rest of her life whilst I get on with mine then thats up to her. Hang in there guys. Don't let the ex get you down. Life is too short and your children will always love you...blood is thicker than water and always will be.

I am a foreignor father of a british child, my ex is not letting me see him..and no one cares..I worked for 70 hours to pay her all blackmailing amount for her dinners and holidays with her boyfriends and her mother..social workers knows everything..but why they should care..and for a foreignor father??? no way..i wrote the letter to MP..but he too apologised for individual case..i paid 7000 pounds to lawyer..he helped me a little bit to get a contact order at her home..but she is refusing without cash money in her hand..i have no option left but to forget my beautiful child who has no food and life..he is having shower hardly once in a week..I cant see my child like this..I have no money to go in court..and no one is there to save my child who has a bad childhood..