Breastfeeding or formula, it's my choice
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I'm currently pregnant with my first child and I'm shocked at the amount of prejudice against bottle feeding. True, breast milk has the vitamins and antibodies which are best for your baby in the early months, but formula milk has been manufactured to be as close as possible to breast milk nowadays. I think it's disgusting that women are put under so much pressure to breastfeed, and made to feel like bad mothers if they don't. |
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What these 'Breast is Best' advocates sometimes forget is that not every woman wants to, or even CAN breastfeed. Why should you be made to feel guilty if you can't? As if having a newborn isn't stressful and emotional enough, you have to put up with all these supercilious people lecturing you about how bad a mother you are because you're not breastfeeding. Breastfeeding - a woman should be able to choose |
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The authorities exacerbate this; banning any kind of advertising or offers on baby milk other than follow-up milk just gives these 'Breast is Best' fanatics more fuel for their arguments. In this day and age, a woman should be able to choose, guilt-free, how she plans to feed her babies. Nobody else, not even the authorities, should have a say in that. I'm undecided whether I'm going to try breastfeeding myself, as (without going into too much details) I know it would cause me great pain and discomfort. I'm worried that if I face pain each time I feed, I'd end up resenting the feeding altogether and this would do more harm to the baby than a bottle of formula ever could. But rest assured, if anyone tries to tell me I'm a bad mother or that my child would suffer as a result of being fed on formula, I'll give them a piece of my mind... By: Mallory |
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Comments from visitors
Breastfed babies have
less chance of diarrhoea and vomiting and having to go to hospital as a result
fewer chest and ear infections and having to go to hospital as a result
less chance of being constipated
less likelihood of becoming obese and therefore developing type 2 diabetes and other illnesses later in life
less chance of developing eczema
No need to feel guilty about bottle feeding just because you feel like it.
less chance of diarrhoea and vomiting and having to go to hospital as a result
fewer chest and ear infections and having to go to hospital as a result
less chance of being constipated
less likelihood of becoming obese and therefore developing type 2 diabetes and other illnesses later in life
less chance of developing eczema
No need to feel guilty about bottle feeding just because you feel like it.
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yeah dont worry about it, if you dont want to do whats BEST for your baby why should you have to, give it a pork pie and go down the pub I say.
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+1
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Mallory, congratulations on your forthcoming baby! Don't pay any attention to anyone trying to lay a guilt trip on you for not breast feeding, it's your choice and your baby will be fine on formula. I have twins (now 17) and I bottle fed both of them and never even considered breast feeding. Why? Because I didn't want to! Don't listen to all that guff about how you won't bond properly with your baby either, it's a load of rubbish. I couldn't have bonded any deeper with my babies if I had breastfed them. At the end of the day, it's nobody else's business but yours and you shouldn't waste one second feeling guilty about anything. Another tip: stay well clear of 'baby books' by self-appointed 'experts'! Anything you're unsure of, ask your mum, mother-in-law, gran, aunties, neighbours, anyone who hasn't written a smug parenting book! Good luck when baby comes - it's a lovely time and I wish you lots of happiness.
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Totally agree with it being a womans choice, no point making yourself ill trying to feed your baby, they need a happy mummy aswell as food and love. I fed my first for 2 weeks, 2nd for 6 weeks and now still feeding my third at 6 months.
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Ha, you should have a mooch round my kids school if ya wanna see truckloads of single mums and abandoned kids, it's a special needs school and surprise surprise 9 out of 10 kids have no daddy ( poor darlings obviously couldnt hack it).
Breastfed my son for first year by the way, didn't breastfeed daughter past first day!! Meh, they were both healthy anyways.
Breastfed my son for first year by the way, didn't breastfeed daughter past first day!! Meh, they were both healthy anyways.
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digsysdigsyness - 31-Jan-10 23:19
So now we see why you have such a bad attitude towards children. Daddy has up and left you with a constant reminder of him.Ouch, that must hurt.But it is nobody's fault but your own.
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Mallory,
Posted on 3/4/2009 3:21:59 PM
Posted By Mallory.I've left this comment on another gripe, but it holds true here too. There are men out there who basically 'trick' women into pregnancy. It's happened to me; my partner was dead set on being a father, got me to come off contraception early (I mean, I wanted a baby too but I wanted to wait until we were married), and basically got me really enthusiastic about becoming parents. Lo and behold; I fall pregnant, and in the same week he ups and leaves me for another woman. So it's not just women who set the traps. There are men who do this too, leaving the woman facing single parenthood.
Posted on 3/4/2009 3:21:59 PM
Posted By Mallory.I've left this comment on another gripe, but it holds true here too. There are men out there who basically 'trick' women into pregnancy. It's happened to me; my partner was dead set on being a father, got me to come off contraception early (I mean, I wanted a baby too but I wanted to wait until we were married), and basically got me really enthusiastic about becoming parents. Lo and behold; I fall pregnant, and in the same week he ups and leaves me for another woman. So it's not just women who set the traps. There are men who do this too, leaving the woman facing single parenthood.
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Mallory, clearly you have nothing to say as you would have said it by now.
I have no personal vendetta toward you, I am just against the gripe that you have blindly chosen.
I think you need to get a wider scope on children and the how's what's where's and why's stem from.
Try looking at something other that your mirror.
I'm not trying to upset you, but I think you should think before you speak.
Go and ask the littlens on these gripe sites how they would greet your motion, after all, it's them that is going to feel it.
Ignorance is bliss.
I have no personal vendetta toward you, I am just against the gripe that you have blindly chosen.
I think you need to get a wider scope on children and the how's what's where's and why's stem from.
Try looking at something other that your mirror.
I'm not trying to upset you, but I think you should think before you speak.
Go and ask the littlens on these gripe sites how they would greet your motion, after all, it's them that is going to feel it.
Ignorance is bliss.
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Mallory, have you not browsed the gripes about teachers bullying children, or children being beaten at home because the parent/s have had a bad day or just simply can't be bothered with the children they bring into this world?
C.P isn't the answer to the problem. Violence is your treatment for what you see as unaccepable behaviour. All you are doing is installing violence, and you can't correct violence with violence.
You have made comments based on no solid ground of knowledge. Giving birth doesn't make you an expert in bringing up children or put you in a position that you can rightly dictate how others children should be treated.
Considering i'm an obnoxious sad little person, that has nothing better to do than troll these sites, i'm just wondering why you are willing to give me your email addy. Is it because you don't want to be publicly humiliated ?
C.P isn't the answer to the problem. Violence is your treatment for what you see as unaccepable behaviour. All you are doing is installing violence, and you can't correct violence with violence.
You have made comments based on no solid ground of knowledge. Giving birth doesn't make you an expert in bringing up children or put you in a position that you can rightly dictate how others children should be treated.
Considering i'm an obnoxious sad little person, that has nothing better to do than troll these sites, i'm just wondering why you are willing to give me your email addy. Is it because you don't want to be publicly humiliated ?
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Been there - I am still in favour of CP, as I hope I can bring my child up to behave herself. However, if she did recieve the cane for bad behaviour, so be it. She may not do it again.
You seem to have a personal vendetta against me for some reason. Perhaps you'd like to debate properly, in which case I'll happily provide you with my email address. Or do you prefer to just be obnoxious in public? Either way, you strike me as a sad little person with nothing better to do than troll sites like this.
You seem to have a personal vendetta against me for some reason. Perhaps you'd like to debate properly, in which case I'll happily provide you with my email address. Or do you prefer to just be obnoxious in public? Either way, you strike me as a sad little person with nothing better to do than troll sites like this.
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Mallory, it is nice to know that you think that every parent should have a right to bring up a child as they wish. Do you now want to remove your gripe page to bring back corporal punishment ?, as it seems you don't want to be force into something that you are not comfortable with. If you still wish for corporal punishment to be brought back, just be aware that it is your new born that with be on the receiving end of your wish.
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Thanks for this - I have a one week old I formula feed for several reasons. The first is an anti'seizure medication that I take which passes through the breast milk at a 1:1 ratio. One of my neurologists felt comfortable with me BFing, the other was decidedly less comfortable. We decided we were still going to try BFing and I'm glad we did, because it gives me empathy for mothers who choose not to BF simply because it;s too difficult for them. If I hadn't tried, I might have been tempted to look down on other moms who chose not to BF and didn't have a medical reason. I have flat nipples which made BFing nearly impossible. The first few days were an emotional nightmare spending hours with my baby screaming, hungry and unable to latch on. I had a million tools meant to help draw my nipple out, my husband had to stand there and quick hand me different tools. It would take an hour and a half just to get him to latch on for maybe a total of 5 minutes. The end result was mom and baby were both emotionally drained and unhappy, and baby was still hungry. That experience coupled with the medication I was on were what led us to bottle feed. The entire family couldn't be happier, my baby is able to eat until he is satisfied and I can enjoy bonding with my baby while he's eating instead of sobbing asking "why can't I feed my baby??"
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**UPDATE to original gripe**
Well, I've had my baby, she's now 9 weeks old, and as expected I couldn't breastfeed past the first couple days. But she's thriving on formula and putting on weight at a healthy rate, and because I'm using bottles Daddy can be involved with the feeding too, so I'm actually getting a decent amount of sleep too! I'd recommend bottle-feeding to anyone who didn't like the idea of breast-feeding, as it really has its benefits.
Well, I've had my baby, she's now 9 weeks old, and as expected I couldn't breastfeed past the first couple days. But she's thriving on formula and putting on weight at a healthy rate, and because I'm using bottles Daddy can be involved with the feeding too, so I'm actually getting a decent amount of sleep too! I'd recommend bottle-feeding to anyone who didn't like the idea of breast-feeding, as it really has its benefits.
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I agree completely. I'm pregnant with my first too and all I hear is 'you've got to breast-feed because if you don't such and such will happen and your baby won't get the best start etc etc etc.' Even my mum and sister are having a go at me, but fortunately the men in my family are more sympathetic!
I'd like to point out that a lot of the studies on breast-feeding don't take into account the fact that breast-fed babies are more likely to come from higher socio-economic status families, so probably get a better start anyway. PLUS, the majority of these studies were carried out over ten years ago. Formula has improved considerably since then.
Everey mum should be given advice on both types of feeding without ANY pressure, and allowed to decided for herself.
I'd like to point out that a lot of the studies on breast-feeding don't take into account the fact that breast-fed babies are more likely to come from higher socio-economic status families, so probably get a better start anyway. PLUS, the majority of these studies were carried out over ten years ago. Formula has improved considerably since then.
Everey mum should be given advice on both types of feeding without ANY pressure, and allowed to decided for herself.
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My son was born in France , he was premature, so I gave breast milk, which was collected daily, one day I was at the hospital in Tours France and wanted to see where the milk went, to my horror, they had sort of large gold fish bowl and mixed everyones milk up. I was not very happy.
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My 2 girls both were bottle fed. I don`t feel like a bad mother at all . It was the best option for me at the time. They are both healty happy girls and I don`t regret this one bit, altough I must agree the pressure to breast feed was high, but I just said my body my way and eventhough I informed myself in detail of both options I stuck with what suited my situation. If I ever have a 3rd one it will be the bottle again for me. Agree with you 101%.
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I chose not to breastfeed my second baby as I hated it with my first. It wasnt at all painful but I resented being the one having to hide away to feed. I was expecting to be bullied into breastfeeding by the midwifes after I had had my second baby but they were great and offered nothing but support for my choice, I was the one feeling guilty and they said not to be. That said my suffered from Colic for months! a living nightmare. Now 18 months he is as healthy as can be. Pros and cons to both, good luck with the baby and it is your choice no one elses and whatever choice you make your baby will be fine.
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A nicely crafted piece of writing about breast feeding and motherhood :
http://www.mg.co.za/article/2009-04-02-baby-myths-shattered
http://www.mg.co.za/article/2009-04-02-baby-myths-shattered
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