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Bullies on Internet discussion forums

Bullying is when a person or group Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker.  Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting.  Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.  Forum bullying or cyber bullying has become a widespread issue throughout the Internet.  As a former moderator I've encountered it it's various guises many times.  As one of the powers that be, it was difficult enough dealing with the usual spammers and trolls, but that was nothing compared to having to deal with already established members with high post counts and years of knowing each other in that forum.

The term 'regulars' has gained notoriety over the years on all kinds of forums.  That's where the bullies are easier to spot.  To an outsider or a lurker, it can be a bit intimidating submitting a post as a newbie.  Not knowing all the ins and outs and who knows who, it can be a bit daunting.  The TOS (terms of service) or forum rules usually only serve to favour the regulars and bullies if there is some flaming going on in a particular thread.

To give an example, I posted a complaint on the my3cents consumer site last April regarding issues that I had with my bank, Chase.  After lurking on some of the forums on this site I knew which regulars gave out sound advice and which ones were there just to flame new posters.  So in response to my post I got four comments, three of these were sanctimonious and opinionated.  I posted back somewhat sarcastically with "Thanks for the pontificating, dogmatic, sage, etc. advice!" which resulted in 'full mod status' being put on my user account.  This basically meant from then on my posts had to be reviewed by a panel of administrators before being published.

Cyber bullying on discussion forums Anyway, being crippled by the powers that be, I could no longer fight back and watched as regulars were only civil to each and downright nasty to newbies.  The unwritten rules were that the newcomers had to endure these nasty comments without reprisal.  The bullies knew how to get around the censorship and avoided talking with you, or PMing you if you hadn't been 'broken in yet'.  I also became aware a certain amount of favouritism displayed by administrators from the start.  In any particular heated debate with a regular and a newbie, they would side with the regular and I noticed that they even let these people use various nicknames that surely must breach the guidelines.  I can't publish these here for obvious reasons.

Well, I can deal with bullies on forums, trolls and the like a lot easier if I didn't have to worry about the forum administrators protecting them!  That's the real issue here.  I get tired of myself and others being dismissed as oversensitive or censored when we fight back against these bullies.  So much for free speech!

By: xBicceyx

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Anon, stop being so pedantic - very tedious. In my opinion, I very much think the posts by Patience are well left alone. Clearly, something is not quite right there and I think we would, in this case, do well not to add to the difficulty of the 'situation' that Patience may well be in. Sometimes things are so fragile that they can easily break . . . if you get my drift.

+3

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miserablemoaninggit - 12-Dec-11 21:10 

Are they stalking you on this site? I think they are stalking me.

0

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Anon - 12-Dec-11 19:28 

and (Do not start a sentence with 'and') i (capital I) already did stop using facebook (proper noun starts with a capital - Facebook) all that happened was they stalked me more in real life thru (through) pple (people) I knew which was (were - surely) even more dangerous. Honestly dont (don't) dare blame me for some phsycos (psycho's) who need to get real girlfriends and who prey on women online its (it's) disgusting and no its (it's) not my fault hacking my dam (damn) phone records and bills thru (through) my email accounts u (you) dont even know what ur (you're) talking about just keep quiet coz (because) its just disgusting how u (you) tell me its my fault for using email accounts that everyone else in the world uses with no problems. Its (it's) them with the dam (damn) problem and its (it's) an abusive intrusive disgusting sickness they have. Not me. Ur (your) comments are even just disgusting after what I have been thru (though)

Grammar = 0
Punctuation = 0

English, do you speak it?

(Errors and omissions excepted)

+4

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Anon - 12-Dec-11 19:05 

Hi Kenny, I wondered if it was something like that.

Patience seems to have gone quiet anyhow.

+1

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grumpyoldwoman - 12-Dec-11 16:37 

Sorry folks, a change to the filters to stop the spammers appeared to have backfired. I've reverted it back to how it was. Please accept my apologies.

0

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Kenny (Site Admin) - 12-Dec-11 15:38 

I "will" try "out" MikeP's tactic.

Patience; if the "internet" is "such" a problem "for" "you" why have "you" "just" entered into "another" forum?

I strongly "suspect" "that" "you" are winding us "up". If "not" "you" are in serious need of "medical" help.

"What" do "you" think "you" did in the "first" place to open yourself "up" to "all" this bullying?

+1

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grumpyoldwoman - 12-Dec-11 06:57 

If 'u' took the trouble to write properly, those to whom "you" "might" address "your" complaints "might" take "you" a little more seriously. "You" simply "set" yourself "up" as an "object" of derision.

Please go to CNN "with" "your" story, I do "not" normally "watch" the "channel" "but" "let" me know when the programme "about" "you" "will" be aired and I "shall" make a "point" of watching it.

(inverted commas as there is a problem "with" the online editor)

+1

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MikeP - 11-Dec-11 23:27 

and i already did stop using facebook all that happened was they stalked me more in real life thru pple I knew which was even more dangerous. Honestly dont dare blame me for some phsycos who need to get real girlfriends and who prey on women online its disgusting and no its not my fault hacking my dam phone records and bills thru my email accounts u dont even know what ur talking about just keep quiet coz its just disgusting how u tell me its my fault for using email accounts that everyone else in the world uses with no problems. Its them with the dam problem and its an abusive intrusive disgusting sickness they have. Not me. Ur comments are even just disgusting after what I have been thru

-5

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Patience - 11-Dec-11 12:31 

and no i wont accept abuse, harassment, stalking, attempted murder and a bunch of other vile incidents I will banish it from my life and make sure it doesnt come near me again. Its not my fault some people need proper medical treatment and refuse to get it. They are sick they need help and I have to recover from their abuse u are not helping go away thank u

-1

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Patience - 11-Dec-11 12:21 

Ur pathetic ur advice is pathetic


'I posted this on my google and how long did it take u to repsond with more vile words yeah blame the dam victim like a woman is asking to be abused if she wears a short skirt. I am not asking for this attention I have asked them over 100 times to leave me alone and no I wont stop having a life to be a victim they are going above and beyond stalking me thru real life pple I know. its not just facebook they raping my email accounts getting everyone and anyone they can to stalk me and playing disgusting mind control abusive games.

I would like to see u suffer the abuse i went thru and live trust me u would kill urself they have hunted on and offline like phsycopaths. U do not know what u are talking about and if I decide to go to CNN trust me a lot of people will be losing their jobs right now as they have abused moderator access.

Do not dare talk to me about being it being tough coz if these pple were disciplined properly by their mothers to begin with and sent to hospital to get their obvious phsycopathic behaviour dealt with i would not have to deal with them at all'

Thanks for stalking me here though from my google status update. i have cut off friends i have reported them and blocked them but they continue to lie and defraud everyone to get around it. I have a MSN account like everyone else yet I am the only person being abused this way. I have a facebook account like other pple yet I am the only one being targetted this way I am doing what everyone else enjoys as normal behaviour next u will tell me not to walk on the street as for ur informaiton they stalking me there too. If it were up to that I would not leave my house coz they stalk me everywhere through anyone they can I am sick of being bullied and a made a prisoner to their stalking phsycos.

Please dont reply coz I really dont see how u can offer anything useful on the topic and yes you probably are a bully in fact noone responds here for days I post a message and put it on my google status and i get a response almost immediately who are you? I came here for support to recover from horrific abuse for nothing I have done wrong. The answer is not for me to change my life and live in a prison not leaving my house because of these phsycos the answer is for them to seek the professional help they dam need and to leave me alone 100% coz they obiviously are ill they tried to get me killed in real life. Now dont speak to me again coz I really dont want to hear anything u have to say thank u

PS come back when someone has tried to kill ur daughter thru stalking and abuse then u might have something useful to say and i am sure u wont blame her for being in the way of the bully

-2

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Patience - 11-Dec-11 12:18 

Patience :

This is pathetic. You simply set up yourself up to be a victim, and no doubt you will call me a 'bully' for saying this. Tough!

You keep going back for more. Why don't you exercise some discipline. Grow up, delete your Farcebook account, or stop using it, change your email address, and stop using the forums where you claim that you are being 'bullied'. How hard is that is that?

If you walk down a street every day knowing that there are people there who will insult or assault you, and you don't change your route then you are asking for problems. If you keep going to a shop where you know they will shortchange you, you ask to be a victim.

You might argue that you shouldn't have to change your behaviour because other people can't behave decently in society, but you have to accept that in real life that it is how it is, whether we like it or not, and adapt accordingly. Think about it.

+2

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MikeP - 11-Dec-11 11:33 

I just dont think these people have sisters or wives or even mothers as I cannot conceive how a man can have women in his life and treat another woman this way. Its like an animal the way they have hunted me in real life and online its total abuse. I am suprised they are not in prison for some other crime when they are such abusive people. They must just do it online as they can hide their identity. I just wish whatever it is that they want had never attracted them to me I wish they had never read my name even or come near me ever. I absolutely have not had a day of joy for the past 2 years because of their cruelty, stalking, harassment and abuse. Its been horrible if I was a weaker person I would have taken my own life by now. Thats how bad it is every day.

-3

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Patience - 11-Dec-11 11:14 

I am so fed up I have been bullied constantly and stalked online for the past 2 yrs they have really made my life hell. I am trying to rebuild my life but these people wont leave me alone. They keep writing disgusting messages and provoking me constantly. I cant stand them they are filthy and disgusting they made my life total hell and I will never forget that ever. I have moved on with my life now and instead of leaving me alone they continue to provoke me on a daily basis. The worst part is they work for large household names in the internet industry and are in positions of great trust hence how they managed to commit great abuse. I just wish i would wake up every day and they were gone from my life 100% i really cannot stand them and dont know how they even live with themselves coz if I had done what they had done to me I would take my own life. It was that horrific they tried to get me phsyically killed almost, tried to get me in trouble in real life its just horrific I just wish they would go away and leave me alone. I never did anything to deserve this horrific abuse and I have never stalked anyone in life the way they have stalked me and the abuse they have done to me its unspeakable its just not human they are like phsycopaths.

-3

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Patience - 11-Dec-11 11:10 

"Criminals and cyber bullies to be banned from the web
............... cyber bullies will be banned from the internet as part of the Government’s new cyber security strategy, announced today. "

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/8915245/Criminals-and-cyber-bullies-to-be-banned-from-the-web.html

Now I'm really worried! Thry might find me.

-1

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MikeP - 28-Nov-11 17:38 

Edit: I meant I am bitter about fanfiction after having that experience and am glad I do not write any as I will just be either ignored or banned. I doubt anyone would want to beta me.

0

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Kyle The Most Misunderstood Pe - 17-Nov-11 04:17 

I get that a lot on fanfiction.
If they advertise that there will be a lot of character development but there isn't by chapter 3 or 4 (novel length story) and I so much as point it out that they need to work on it better then it's the ban hammer for me. :(

Usually they will try to use action to mask character development which disgusts me. :(

I used to think it was only ME that it happened to but found out that other people have that trouble. I do not read as much fanfiction as I used to because of that and I am not bitter about fanfiction after finding out most people just want to be famous.

I tend to get people to misunderstand me ALL the *beep* time.

+1

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Kyle The Most Misunderstood Pe - 17-Nov-11 04:16 

If you are a victim of cyberbullying, http://regainyourname.com can help. We offer advice, online consultations and step by step eBooks and videos to help you permanently remove cyberbullying from the internet. We are experts in Facebook, Twitter, Wikipedia and Google search results. We exist to help you regain your name and remove cyberbullying.

-1

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regainyourname - 12-Nov-11 17:46 

Miserable moaning git - you did choose your name well didn't you?

What is "a univocal approach to language? " meant to mean? Seems to me it is a way of saying let me say whatever I like and have it mean what I decide it means.

-2

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fffred - 1-Nov-11 15:37 

MMG - no it wasn't clear what you meant at all, except that you seem to see bullying in everyone's else's way of posting.

-1

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anon - 1-Nov-11 00:19 

Nonny, are you another one who takes a univocal approach to language? Stop trying to be too clever - it's clear what I mean. As for the rest of what you say, well I tend to agree.

-6

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miserablemoaninggit - 31-Oct-11 23:34 

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