Lack of sleep and a thoughtless husband

Yesterday my in-laws had invited us to join them in visiting a friend of theirs the following day.  I had said I would think about it and get back to them the following day.  At 10:30 in the morning my mother in-law calls and my husband answers the phone.  She asks if we can be ready in 45 minutes as they wanted to pick us up and drive us over to their friend’s house.  My husband and I had a late night and did not get into bed until midnight.  I did not sleep and only started to drift off at about 6:30 in the morning.  I had only four hours sleep when my mother in-law rang.

My husband had just woke up and was not dressed yet.  I was still in bed sleeping.  My husband woke me out of a sound sleep to ask if I would be ready in 45 minutes.  I told him no.  My husband did not even give me the opportunity to say anything else on the matter and he went out of the room before I could respond and told his mother that, "I did not want to go because I did not like their friend and I was in a bad mood."

When I overheard what my husband told his mother I became angry. I did not say any such thing!  Had my husband allowed me to respond, I would have said I cannot be ready in 45 minutes but I could be ready later in the day and to please explain to his mother that I had a rough night, was not feeling very chipper and that the afternoon would have been better for me.  When my husband got off the phone with his mother, I confronted him and asked him why he said what he said.  He did not answer me and went into the bathroom to shower and shave.

While my husband was in the bathroom I rang my mother in-law and explained the whole situation.  I told her that I did not say I did not like their friend and I was not in a bad mood.  I explained that I had a rough night, had only four hours sleep and just was not up to it this morning but would be delighted to go later this afternoon.  My mother in-law understood and said she could not understand why her son would have said such a thing.  My mother in-law said that unfortunately her friend was only available in the morning for a visit so she said she and her husband would go and that we could all go together another time when I am not suffering from lack of sleep.

After my husband got out of the shower I approached the subject again.  I told my husband that I had rang his mother and told her I did not say any of those things that my husband said I had said.  My husband seemed very irritated by this that I should phone his mother and correct what he did.  I am wondering if he thinks that makes him look like a liar to his mother.  Perhaps, but his mother worships the ground her son walks on so I doubt that no matter what he said or did his mother would never think negatively about him.  I could tell by the expression on my husband's face that he was angry with me and that he resented me for not being able to join his family this morning.  I then told my husband that if ever I am not able to join his family and he wants to pay them a visit that he is free to go do so that he does not need to stay home just because I am unable to attend.  With an irritated expression on his face and an angry tone of voice he told me that, "his place was by my side", acting the martyr.  I told him I appreciated his loyalty, but that I am not some type of invalid that needs to have a babysitter and I can be left alone for a few hours on my own.

This was my husband’s attempt to make me feel guilt.  It did not.  Instead I just became angry but decided to just drop the subject.  My husband never got over being upset with me and the whole day he gave me the silent treatment and sat around the house with a pout on his face.  He reminded me of a spoiled child that did not get his way.

What had me so angry about all this was that not once did my husband take into consideration how I felt and did not seem to acknowledge or care that I had had very little sleep and was not feeling well. I was not trying to be difficult at all, I even tried to provide a compromise and offered to meet with his family later in the day, but I guess that just was not good enough for my husband.  I am not a vindictive person, but it is situations like this that make me want to get back at my husband.

The next time he has a sleepless night, I just might wake him up early in the morning and tell him he needs to be up and ready to be out of the house in 45 minutes and see how he feels about it!

By: Mrs. G