Life with kids or a career?

Mark Owen from Take that has just confessed to his wife about the loads of pre-marital affairs that he has had, and how his wife has banned him from the bedroom,
Good job that an anagram of his name is wxxk more, looks like he will be living up to the anagram of his name.

Get on the pill, leave him, have your baby (do not give your kids to him) and then do your course

Firstly, your comments regarding contraception are ludicros. I understand that if he mentally abuses you its hard to leave etc, I have been there. However you could take the pill and if you were scared of him, then he need not know.
You can find ways to study, I think its great you want to do this, however you dont need to leave your kids, when and if you come back for them they may not want to know. You should leave this guy and make a better life for you and your children first. If things are as bad as you say, then would they not be better off living with you with visits to their dad? Get the kids into school then go back to study. While they not in school you could still learn, research yourself and teach bits to yourself. Dont give up, if you want something then you can do it, regardless. I dont think you should have anymore children, so still so young!

People like David make me sick with their attitudes. No doubt he's the kind of 'man' (and I use that term loosely) who believes that males are superior to females and should be subservient to men at all times. Disgusting.

To the author; I know you're in a difficult situation and you don't need all these people stating the obvious 'you should have used contraception'. Too late for that! But I would suggest that if you do decide to stay with this man, that you perhaps see about getting your tubes tied (unless you plan to have more children in the future). I'm guessing he's not the kind of person who'd agree to a vasectomy!

That said, I think you would be better off without him. It's possible to juggle children and a career, although it'll be hard, so maybe once your baby is born you could see about going on that course you mentioned. There's help available for single mothers. But you may just need to let go of the apron strings a little and trust other people to look after your little ones. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

Don't listen to David - he's full of cr*p - with hateful comments like that he probably buys into that well known work of fiction about the man who came down to earth and sacrificed himself on a cross. I feel for you. It might feel like you are in a desperate situation, and I would suggest that if you don't feel you can leave your partner, then he has clearly sapped any confidence you ever had, but you need to GET OUT with your children. You chose to have children, so its your responsibility to provide the kind of life you want for them. It sounds like a tall order, but going it alone can do wonders for self esteem. And if you want to go out and get a career, then make it happen for you. You might struggle financially, but the reward will be a good life for you and your kids.

isnt it funny , if he says no to condoms he is compromising YOUR rights? some genius even suggested that was rape! Why dont you take the pill , dont have sex or practise contraception of some sort. YOU are responsible- your the one rooting around since 15 - its not rape - you ahve been with the same idiot since you were a minor and your still with him - you encourage him obviously? Or are you a moron? It might be the case? And if your not a moron then why is it abuse if he calls you names? I am sure you yelled a few names back - havent you? Isnt that mental abuse / neglect / emotional rape? Young women are priceless - you want the sex but not the responsibility.

you should go to church, beg for forgiveness and go home and tell your man that you are sorry.

Author of the Gripe above:
Thank you all for your advise and support. I appreciate that there are people in this world that does not even know me but care enough to let me know what they think of my situation, honestly and openly. I did not take the pill because I am against any form of drugs that contains steroids and hormones. As much as possible, I try to avoid taking any drugs, medicine or not. I like to be natural. I will be choosing another method Mirena, which isn't covered by my health insurance, I'll have to travel an hour away from where I live by car. I don't even take Tylenol or Advil, I just tought it out. Thinking about ligation or I might just stick to IUD (Mirena).

dump him! My ex was just like that. He was insecure and didn't want me to better myself because he thought "I would get a big head and forget about him". Well, the minute he said those words I had no use for him whatsoever. Now we are divorced and I have never been happier. I own my own business and am going back to school for another degree. I only had one child though because I had the good sense to use birth control.

I love it when people think that lifes problems can be solved with a condom, not to say that a woman can actually take her own precutions and take one of the many array of contraception on offer to them.. but maybe that isnt the factor here.. maybe its education and the ability to stand up for ones self and say the word... NO??

If your partner has intercourse with you, regardless of wearing a condom or not, if you have said NO, and he forces it appon you, than that in the eyes of the law is RAPE!

Reckon you both (you and your partner) both need to grow up......a lot more. Just because Britney Spears behaves like a one woman freak show, doesn't mean every female has to!

Do you really want to look back in 20 years, hated by your kids, them describing you as unmaternal, just like your parents? When you look back do you really want to see a family picture looking like human wreckage? Or a family, held together, through some really difficult times, which, inspite of monumental difficulty, turned out well adjusted, in gainful employment, with their own sense of direction and something you can be proud of?

Is it a question of, if I stay life will be more difficult, in part because I will have to put it on hold and I don't like the way my partner treats me, so it's easier to run off? Wasn't that what you did before...when you were so eager to leave your parents home because you were desperate to take more control of your life? Running off now makes you a loser. Why? Because it means you do not have the maturity to deal with what life throws at you and you have decided to bail out, take the easy route. If you can't handle it how in god's name do you expect your kids to?

You and your partner need to start getting along, have fights, agree, disagree, argue but then discover mutual respect for each other, then begin to trust each other, at the moment there is only suspicion of each other motives. Yes you should become a nurse, but take your whole family with you. Tell your partner if he was a man he'd stick around to see what you were doing and then when he sees it's not so bad he might even think it worthwhile choosing to do what you're doing, perhaps a year behind you. You fight, for your relationships, your children and your future together. Nothing else matters!