CSA, how much more can we take?

Our story is this; my husband of nearly 2 years and we have 1 son and another on the way any day now and I also have 2 children from my previous marriage. My husband has a 14yr old daughter and her mother is causing us such grieve over CSA arrears that it will make us all homeless!! What is even more annoying is she is emotionally/psychologically abusing her daughter and she did come and live with us to get away from her awful mother for a short time but her mother got to her by emotionally blackmailing her saying that she was going to kill herself, so of course she returned home. I made sure that my hubby started paying her maintenance of what we could afford and she suspended the arrears but now it is all starting again and the daughter wants to come back to us to live as the abuse is affecting her school work. The daughter even reported her mother to the school board complaining of the abuse and is fed up with her drinking and being left alone. The mother has already moved her around 5 times during the senior school years and now she wants to move away again against her daughters wishes. The mother has now reinstated the arrears again and my hubby apparently owes £14,300 of which they want paid over 4 yrs. We cannot afford these demands and this will definitely put us in hot water. We already have the house on the market which belongs to me and my ex husband and have to downsize to a 3 bed even though there will be 7 of us once the daughter comes and lives with us. When his daughter was first born, he stayed in the relationship until she told him to leave as she realised she could claim more benefits with him not living there..so he left even though he didn't want to. He was paying her £30 per week and did so for 18 months until he injured himself while working and was out of action for a while and obviously wasn't earning anything. That was when the mother decided to contact the CSA. This woman is vile and has caused my hubby many years of mental torture by her aggressive actions and verbal abuse. She is very unreasonable and my hubby cannot have a civil conversation with her cos she shouts & swears all the time. We've even had to report her to the police. Where is the justice in that?!!!

My partner has been divorced for 13 years and his ex has received regular payments from my partner via the CSA.
His oldest daughter is coming up to 19 and her mother is claiming child support and child benefit for her. His daughter has told her dad that she is only going to college one day a week which does not constitute the 12 hrs minimum requirement that the CSA require before that child is entitled to benefit. We have tried to get the college to provide information about her course and the number of hours that she attends but as she is over 18 the college will not provide the information. Although the daughter has said she only attends one day a week she will not provide the evidence required by my partner as she does not want to rock the boat with her mother, so the payments continue. We know that his daughter works 4 days a week at a local store. Does anyone have any ideas about how we get this information? Not only is his ex fiddling my partner but also falsely claiming child benefit and that's benefit fraud isn't it?

hi speaking as a mother of one son , most of you women should be ashamed of yourselves saying that the father of your children should suffer!!! So the father of your children should be poverty stricken. you talk such s@@t. My best friends husbands ex ,put in for maintenance for two kids and they were hand to mouth, the pressure was so great he killed himself . Im not saying that the absent parent should not pay , but the csa and exs should be reasonable . Just think how you would feel!!!:-(

*Shudder*, I've just realized what I've referred to my ex as.

To put it bluntly, the CSA are utter tosh.

The trouble is that they are doing their job, just, they seem to be penalizing the wrong parent or ignoring sense.

Me and my partner both work 37 hours per week. We both have essentially, the same wage and we have a 9 month old child. We both work 3 days a week. This equals 3, 12 hour and 30 minute shifts.

We both have 4 days per week off because of the shift length and because we work in the same place, our supervisors plan our shifts as opposites.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I started receiving letters from the CSA demanding payments. After advising the CSA of the situation with work, I informed them that payments would not be needed as I had the same income and time off as my ex partner, that should she have issues with wanting money to look after OUR, not HER, but OUR child, then I would look after OUR child 50% of the week, erasing the need for MY money to line her pocket when I could share custody, as we had been doing.

I can't do that apparently.

My Ex is a total Nob! I take my child out and spend whatever I can on clothes, footwear, electrical goods to keep up with what todays youngsters are into but no no this was not good enough instead his new little woman says I want more lets go to the csa and take her for everypenny make her loose her home and also so it becomes harder to pick the little one up lets just destroy her...and all because I was there first!!

It appears that something is awry with the csa/cmec over the past few months. More and more people are reporting being hit for "arrears". This for me is an annual occurance and yet again they want another £1400. This time paid off over 12 months...so my payments go from £180 to £408 starting next month!!! I had this last year and wrote to my m.p and they backed off for a while. !0 months down the line I have had 1 investigation, 1 reassessment and now these arrears. I honestly think after years of having money I can ill afford stolen from me I will give up work, I feel all the stress and grief is not worth my poultry wage.
Next year things will get worse with cmec as the assessment is worked out on your gross and taken from your net wage as I understand it. along with all the draconian measures and control techniques available to them.
I think either self employment as a limited company or leave the country are best options.
Like many i'm at my wits end and not sure what to do........there are about 950,000 of us in the system shouldn't we have a voice???

My ex has had £77,000 from me in divorce £31,000 in maintenance. £40,000 from her late mothers inheritance and £30,000 from her late uncle. £178,000 and she has joint income and claims benefits. She was caught over claiming £7,0000 in tax credits.

.....and yet I am being criminalised and persecuted by the shambolic 'not fit for purpose' CSA. Whose staff are incompetent beyond belief, and yet they keep their jobs with 'gold plated' pensions. They earn vast repeatedly targetting those who do pay and don't bother with the ones who have never paid and are would cause them to actually work!

The Serious fraud Office should raid CSA offices, make arrests and gather evidence in order that the truth can be told, about the illegal scam known as the CSA, which politicians are aiding and abetting their activities and who should be held accountable in the courts also!

From what I have seen and heard is many mums have got a meal ticket , most are greedy and want it all,,,,,,,,,,,,,i know for I am with my other half whoes ex wantsit all and now we are living on £83.00 POUNS A WEEK , yes you did read right ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,THIS MEAL TICKET HAS GOT TO STOP .

I asked a simple question to one of there staff and got abuse back about not wanting kids I should of worn something on it all I asked was could they help me see my daughter as my ex only wanted me for a kid and even told them this ,i think they fail to realize the the facts and the persons manger was no better.
shes on full benefits works full time .....

Not only is the CSA NOT working, the CSA staff are 'out of control' and incompetent beyond belief. Billions of pounds not collected. Millions spent on failed I.T systems.

It's a complete and utter shambles and a debacle!

Someone should make a copy of this gripe and all the comments that follow it and send it to Mr Cameron. Surely anyone can see the CSA isn't working!

Many people complain to this website about the CSA. The truth is that if you’re employed you have no option but to pay or the CSA will go to your employer and hit them with a deduction of earnings order which will take money from your salary before your receive it which is only right as you should pay for your kids. The problem with the CSA is that they don't treat people fairly. The amount of money they take is ridiculous and often leaves people in poverty or in my case better off out of work and claiming benefits. I submitted all the relevant paperwork and proof of income as requested but in the beginning they were taking a few quid shy of half my wages. I tried everything I could to get the payments reduced but even the CAB couldn't help me. In the end I wrote to my MP and in turn she wrote to the CSA who reduced my payments to a manageable amount. Why I needed to go to my MP before I got the CSA to listen is a disgrace when the only alternative was to leave my job. I would advise anyone how has problems to contact their MP as the CSA don't seem to care what we think and after all it was politicians who invented the CSA which I might add has never been anything other than a big stick people with children can wield at their ex partners to cause pain and get revenge. I honestly believe any company that made as much of a mess of doing business would be out of business very quickly.

I feel your pain i'm also a CSA victim, I just wanted to say its not just fathers who suffer. I raised my son on my own without any financial support from his father, admittedly by choice. My son’s father had been treated unfairly by the CSA for a child from previous relationship and I didn’t want to cause any carnage just wanted to get on with my life being a good parent.

My ex maintained contact with my son but when my son returned from weekly visits he would say to me “I want to live with my Dad” when asked why he replied “cause dad buys me what ever I want and lets me stay up late”. Contact continued but it became harder and harder to cope with my son’s behavior when he returned from his dads. Eventually this wore me down and I was doubting my ability to be a good mum leading to me making the decision that if this was what my son really wanted he could live with his dad (worst day of my life).

After my son moved out I maintained regular contact and did my best financially by buying clothes shoes and things he needed for school. I would spend a lot of money during contact making sure we had a good time.

Six years down the line my ex has remarried and lives with his new wife’s two kids and my son in my ex home with a nice car and two holidays a year - playing happy families. While my ex was on his honeymoon I received letters from the CSA saying they had made an AOE of 496 pound a month, which is half my wage. This came as a surprise as I’ve always provided for him financially. The CSA don’t care about any of this, to them it’s just a debt to collect regardless of the circumstances. I now have so little money that contact with my son is so difficult and may have to be shortened. I even struggle for bus fares and food. As a mother this is very hard and emotionally draining, the CSA may as well have stuck a knife in my heart. I agree with Ash that the CSA has also made my life a living nightmare.

I have a son which I am not sure if he is mine, my ex went to the csa and put in a claim from the day we split up, the csa didnt even contact me before putting a AOE on me. I think the csa should do alot more than just take someones word that you are the father, they should apply dna testing for everyone involved. now I struggle each month and she is living with her partner in a big house and nice cars, I am not saying I dont want to pay for him but I think that you should have a say in how you want the money paid, like in a bank acount for him when he becomes 18, because the csa dont no what your hard earned cash goes on. I dont even get to see him now because of the csa that takes most of my wages. the csa dont care about anyone and it should be stopped . I also think england has turned into a crap country to live in.

I have kids and don't mind paying for them...........What I do object to is being dicttated to by incompetent CSA staff, who are only interested in their bonuses and pensions.

What happens between me my ex and our children is between me my ex and the children, and not some incompetent oaf at the CSA!

PS. My ex is plating the benefit system better than the Thief of Baghdad...and the CSA let her get away with it. They then come after me to reclaim her benefits!

As a women who has a child with a bloke how has gone onto have 4 other children all to different women, this man pays nothing to none of his children and evades the csa at every step... its not because he cant pay its because he wont pay, mantaince isnt about access its about conbruting to the childs up keep, I do not want money off him myself and hvent chased him, wots the point, by the time he starts to pay my child will be 18 probably, its a joke. simple answer dont have kids if u cant pay for them , same goes for a women as well....

In divorce and maintenance payments I have paid £107,000. To say that I am struggling is an understaement. I have also been on both sides of this 'not fit for purpose' debacle, as a PWC and an NRP.

Over 11 years I have had a crap service that has repeatedly let me and my children down.

It's a shambles and a disgrace!

Let us all hope that the CSA's days are numbered and they are closed down with the staff thrown on the dole queue as a retribution for the criminal way that they have treated decent honesy folk!

They are out of control and the amount of money that THEY have failed to collect has risen from £3.5 billion to £3.7 billion in 2011............and yet they tell us all that they are making progress!

They 'let off' the ones that don't pay, and repeatedly target those who do pay!

M.P.'s are in the scam also! We DO NOT get any representation for our elected representatives. who are a spineless joke, and a waste of taxpayers money!

I am disgusted by the way some people have been treated by the CSA. Good, honest, hard-working people that are made to feel like criminals, even though they have been doing their best to support their children. They are a joke of an organisation, requesting arrear payments from their own mistakes. It's unbelievable!

my son is about to go through all of this I sympathise with all of you I would really like to contact all of you if thats possiible