Absent father: 'I think about her everyday'

Why have you hijacked this genuine plea for understanding with your narrowly-conceived ill-informed anti-feminist (read 'anti-women') rantings?? When men stop hating women en-masse we might actually get somewhere close to halting the absent-father epidemic (amongst a multitude of other sins) that is decimating society in the UK, and beyond!

We are all born equal; first and foremost human beings, regardless of gender. We are partners in this crazy ride of a world. We are interconnected, literally and figuratively. There is only one solution to the world's woes - more understanding, more love, more support and compassion, and a good deal less hate, bigotry, judgement, and blame!

Whilst there may be women who appear to prevent well-meaning men from seeing their children (for reasons that may remain non-discernible to others), repeating this snippet of 'wisdom' over and over merely serves as 'mystification' (read some classic feminist texts if you have no concept of what I'm talking about). The fact remains that there are more than 1.5 million lone-parent families in this country, over 90% female-headed, and a common complaint amongst them is that fathers are CHOOSING not to be a part of their children's lives. I suspect, in many cases, this is a legacy of a their own experience of being non-'fathered' by emotionally and/or physically unavailable men (see the extensive body of literature on the recycling of trauma through families). Others appear unable to separate out their feelings towards the mother from their feelings for the child (as Dave's post hints at), or perhaps they so value the pleasure principle over the reality principle, that they fail to comprehend that karma catches up, ie., only the most sociopathic of parents won't find their future life tainted by a decision to alienate themselves from their own child/ren - s**t like that will leak out eventually and make an unholy mess over any nice-new-shiny-clean life one may manage to get for oneself!!

Something really needs to change - and it's certainly not less social/economic/political power for women!! Inequality doesn't work folks - just look at China and its 40 million young single men who won't be able to find female partners, and thus have children of their own, following decades of gendercide (anyone read The Economist recently?)

The only thing to do is to invest time, love and resources into your children (some of whom might even be female) - and maybe a lot of patience too if you do end up in a difficult scenario (nothing remains static, all is flux, you get to decide whether you work steadily towards resolution or fast-track into disintegration) - and improve life for everyone concerned including yourself, your kids, your extended family, any future partners and kids, and the rest of the whole freaking world by extension...

The boot has been on the other foot for quite a long time my love.
Im not for one minuet saying men should be second class citizens like women have been for years, just get of our back and climb down the pedestal you have climbed upon and accept that women are in the work place and can maintain home/work balance.
Im not a 'feminist' just a realist (i would never burn my bra cost too much money!).
I work because I enjoy it and to take some of the financial strain from my husband. Im not 'power happy' or shout iam woman hear me roar......i am me...a wife, mother AND employee.

While we are on the subject of sexist low life scum I have one name for you all “Jacqui Smith" The woman is a hideous throw back to the 70's Male. She is hell bent on ruining the life of every man on the planet. She was behind last year’s bill passed through parliament making it ok to discriminate against men in the work place. Her bill to raise the driving age for men and men alone was thankfully blocked. Is this not sexism? How would you girls feel if the boot had been on the other foot?
And a serious question now! Have you ever seen Harriet Harman and Jacqui Smith in the same room together? I know it sounds crazy but I cannot tell them apart? Are they the same person?

Being divorced once, I only know to well what it is like to give women the full control of the household money, loads of ladies nights out, a new full wardrobe, and 50p smartprice sausages on nearly every sunday dinner table for the kids, and no this is not made up.

Thanks grumpyoldwoman that was an unexpected breath of fresh air. Economics! Inflation! and control are the main reasons why the feminist movement was stolen by the government. They have used the battle of the sexes to undermine the work force and most women cannot see or refuse to see this at all. When they have finished wrecking the status of men in the country and women are top of the pile, they will then turn the argument against women. We have all become selfish fools men and women, and our children are paying a heavy price due to this whole sorry situation.
Divide and conquer was the tactic of our government and you ladies were the weak link they targeted. Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine how exploitable the modern woman was.

I have to agree with alot of what Aleedsfella says. The problem with the feminist argument about women wanting jobs and careers is that it has now become acceptable for a family to need two wage packets to survive. Once upon a time a family could survive with one parent working and the other at home doing everything else, but I believe the wages of the "breadwinner", usually the father, were relatively higher than they are now.

Yes, rampant consumerism also plays a large part; but how many women work and pay someone else to look after their kids? Why? These kids today with mobile phones, computers, ipods and all the other cr*p are no happier than the kids of previous generations.

I'm not saying that a woman's place is in the kitchen (being one myself), but I don't think the feminists have done us many favours. If one parent has a career it can be either, but two careers and children very rarely works well; the kids often end up spending more time with the nanny than either parent, so what was the point in having them in the first place?

It does also have to be repeated; feminism has led to the victimisation of men in many ways, such as tv adverts which make fun of men. It would never be allowed the other way around!

Not single, not gay, not old, and I Never mentioned the kitchen. A Typical type of deluded feminist retort (pmsl), you did not even try to address the core economic point I was trying to make. The modern female simply craves control of everything; Equality on your terms is not equality! It’s will all be back to normal soon as the system that has recklessly empowered women is in full collapse.
The economy cannot support the narcissistic feminist dream anymore. You want to work but expect a year off with pay for every kid you have, you should get that promotion simply as you have a fanny, and anything that does not go your way is sexual discrimination. When did women turn into this hideously weak minded mess? You have sold out your children you men and yourselves to the state. You have not climbed life’s ladder any higher, you just helped the state push men back down it. And as men have already worked out the ladder goes nowhere anyway

aleedsfella, I take it you either single gay or old? if your saying that because women are no longer accepting to, as you put it 'stay in the kitchen' and now the world is going to pot does that not also mean because the man has to take more responsibility in the home he cant cope? Most of the women I know (self included) are happily married with children and work, and oh my god, shock horror, the house is still standing, food is still freshly prepared and on the table, but even more shocking the male in the relationship is happy to help do it!!!!
I really do think you need to get your self the love of a good woman then maybe..just maybe you will see that just because women don't have d1cks doesn't mean they cant go to work or call the shots...you said it your self its 2010 not the pre war when a woman would never back answer her husband.

Oh my god woman! (Pmsl @ U) When will you women wake up! The pathetic feminist nerve never rests does it? From year 1 to the late 1940’s dad ruled and the family unit was far stronger. Then the rot set in and now in 2010 the balance of power has swung fully to mum. Look at the mess we are in it has gone all gone very wrong, and like it or not girls you are in the driving seat, you are the captain of the ship and its sinking fast.
The Battle of the sexes is a joke! Back in the day suffragettes had a damn good argument. Yes they were right to fight for the vote but this all started in 1897 when Millicent Fawcett founded the “National Union of Women's Suffrage” and then in 1903 Emmeline, Christabel, and Sylvia Pankhurst formed the “Woman’s social and political Union” sort of hijacking the movement (just like one of those nasty men would). As I said these women had a point and through great personal sacrifice and suffering they won their fight. But times have moved on girls the feminist movement has been exploited by government to prop up the economy. Think about it girls, it’s simple economics the government doubled the amount of available labour over night and now that all you empowered wonderful women are working every our god sends, They have began to import labour from over sea in an uncontrolled immigration nightmare. They stole the whole feminist ideal from you and use it for the economy, you did not fight your way out of the kitchen. You were dragged out and exploited by the government, you were dragged out to undermine your men in the same way that immigrant labour is being used to undermine us all now.
Drop the feminist pipe dream it’s over, Just choose family OR career.

dave and aleedsfella you are both talking what you both clearly lack b o l l o c k s, yes in some cases it is the woman's fault but that is very rare. The majority of relationship brake downs are down to the sorry excuse of the male species.
look through out history all the mistakes that have left death and destruction are down to men! yes we have been born with a fanny, but we don't think or make decisions with it. Ever heard that saying "behind every successful man is a grate woman"?
we have stood back and let men make pr1cks of them selves for far to long. the fact is women cope better than men, if your woman walked out and left you holding the baby would you be able to cope by your self? I think not cause you wouldn't know where to start!
yes women make mistakes and I'm not trying to say that we don't but until the day some mad male scientist makes men have babies, in a word tough s h I t!!!

well said Dave! look girls the alarming rate of break ups is in these days down to you. The state backs mum to the hilt and now has empowered women so much that once a child is born, the woman rules the roost. Since you girls took over everything has fallen apart. Don't bother with retarded sexist replies as the facts speak for themselves, women and the state have push fathers out of the picture. Women are running the family now and you are doing a crap job of it and then you blame the men you have forced out!!! wake up girls, being born with a fanny does not make you infallible. infact it seems to make you very gullible.