Child support arrears demand unreasonable
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I suppose I fell into the age old trap of promising to provide my two children with the 'treats' for want of a better word and did not set up a formal agreement with my ex wife. |
Over the years I have provided them with holidays either with me or with their mother, computers, an allowance, clothing (including school clothing). I have helped out with the school trips, given money to my ex wife at Christmas to help her and I suppose have spoilt my children at Christmas and birthdays. I have worked hard, paid my taxes and always been on the end of the phone to sort problems. I have seen them pretty regularly up until the last few years as they are now in their late teens and have other priorities. |
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Their mother on the other hand has sat on her backside for 15 years and made no attempt to work! She has claimed all the benefits going and sat back and allowed me to make the necessary payments for my children's needs. I can just hear her now saying "ask your Dad he is loaded..." I returned from holiday at Christmas to find a demand from the CSA for £23,000 of arrears. Before I could respond my employer was served with notice to deduct close on £1,000 per month from my salary! I appealed of course, but my hearing could be 4 months away and until that time I am risking my relationship with my new partner, my home and my job. Requests for an amount that is more comfortable for me to pay until the hearing seem to be falling on deaf ears at the child support agency. The arrears assessment has not taken into consideration any housing costs from 1995 to date despite me having a mortgage since 2000. Well is this what they call fair and am I being persecuted? Or perhaps I should just shut up and pay up, but on the other hand do I could do what many have done before me, put my foot down and make a statement? Because right at the moment I am at the end of my tether! Thanks for listening. By: Wits End |
Comments from visitors
confused mum - 23-Nov-11 22:36
Silence for three years and then suddenly I become parent with care, I tell them and they close the case, all well and good. A few weeks later and I get a letter asking for five grands worth of arrears from the last three years so I send them my books to show that I have made zero profit and actually owe nothing, the reply comes back... the case is closed, the arrears stand!
So now I have made an arrangement of £31 a week for the next three years, they did want £50 but as my work has dried up and we are struggling on tax credits etc there was no way.
Basically the CSA are taking money off me that they assume that I made, they are threatening me with bailiffs, prison and God knows what else and all because they have no policy to re-open or review closed cases.
They are putting me and my children at extreme hardship and basically stealing off of us. I'm seeing my solicitor next week, I don't know what else to do.
I pay and have paid what I am expected to pay.
Why is it that some have never paid, will never pay, and are 'let off' as untraceable?
Those who do pay are being discriminated against. How can it be fair and just in the eyes of the law that some pay and others do not pay? It is blatant discrimination, and I am hoping someone, somewhere will win a legal challenge against the government and the system, and they will have to repay all those who have paid!
thegrimreaper - 29-Mar-11 13:35
Claire McDougall - 10-Feb-11 11:27
I have had to work 6 days a week for 10 years now and that is still the case, my ex husband has only paid me just over the miserable sum of £1000.00 thats approx 20p a week for 3 children its disguisting ,its disrepectfull not only to myself as a mother but also my 3 lovely kids.
He has never sent them a birthday cards no christmas cards and has not even seen them for years even though he only lives 3 miles away.He would walk by his kids in the street and not even recognise them now.
I have been fighting for years with the child support agency and at present they are trying to take him to court.the maximum penalty for non paying fathers is only 28 days in jail.
My kids and I sadly found ourselves homeless for a year and a half 10 years ago, when we left him.The reason I left him was because he was abusing me physically and I for one know that that enviroment was not acceptable to bring up 3 children in, So 28 days max penalty in my eyes is a total disgrace !
Child support agency has to be tougher and I really hope the law changes and the sentences are made higher.I find it unbelievable when I hear people say oh these poor absent fathers are in a terrible position and they are commiting suicide by hanging themselves etc.....,
I personally would hand my ex husband a rope and gladly see him hang himself as I have been the one that has struggled to bring up 3 children alone working full time to feed them and gave them a great upbringing that I am proud of.
Mediation and Concilliation between parents is the key to resolving financial and contact issues. Unfortunately, power mad politicians seem to think that financially persecuting the non resident parent is the 'way to go'! Criminalising parents in front of their own children, That's democracy, that's humane.
The only way to ensure that there is a level playing field for both parents and their children, is for politicians to withdraw from the arena and for them to set up parental meeting at the benefits office with a basic interview and introduction of mediation and open and full disclosure by parents. Perhaps then a binding contract could be agreed and signed based upon financial provision for the child/children and contact issues. Renewable every 12 months.
Neither party could have any complaints if they break their side of the agreement and parents and children would know where they stand, because at the present time the current system is a disgraceful shambles and it has no place whatsoever, in a democratic and civil society, because all those involved in this debacle are providing large bonuses and gold plated pensions for corrupt officials. This makes it divisive, and those who work within it have a vested interest, not in the child/children, but in their own ill gotten gains.
ick and tired of the lack of - 4-Dec-10 15:59
It`s amazing that they can`t discuss with you on the phone your other halfs case but give you all the time in the world when you make a fu@@ing payment!!!
Just to point out that only four months ago they had £3500 and today the bas@ards want yet another £3200!!!!!! it was borrowed money we paid them in the first place (rob peter to pay CSA)!!
Our own children have clothes from second hand shops and we cut their hair ourselves plus they hardly get treated out as we barely can afford to run our rented home!.
Surely their threats and awful treatment they give us is not humane?.
I must admit though I did laugh after the second arrears letter as I was just wondering what the baliffs could actually take from our home in worth of that amount?? bring it on!!....you`ll have to get through one pi@@ed off CSA victims wife grrrrrr.
wives on your side - 4-Oct-10 23:44
Then the CSA sends a demand for 14k as they have reassessed the claim as it was closing ,his daughter now being 18 and in employment
Despite MPs & solicitors intervention the best response we have had is a letter of apology and a cheque for £50 , they have agreed to take the money over 4 years but this leaves us with £750 a month to keep us all before rent bills and everything else also they dont take maintenance payments into account in tax credit calculations or benefit calculations , so we cant get any help from anywhere
Fed up skint and broke - 14-Sep-10 12:14
While you claim that your ex wife has 'sat on her backside' for the last fifteen years, who has brought up your children? I would find looking after two children impossible to do sitting on my backside.
You choose to work and have a career, and and some point chose not to spend your life with your children. Resident parents don't have that choice. They are employed full time, 24/7, by their children, and they have made that choice when they had the children in the first place. You have made your own choices in life and now you are complainig because you have to prioritise your income to provide for your children? You might as well be complaining about the fact that you had the children!!!!
Whatever your income is, until the children have left full time education, you are required to provide a percentage of your disposable income. Whether your ex wife was working or not, you would still have to pay - it is based on what you are ABLE to pay.
Unfortunately for you, it makes your financial life equivalent to what it would be if you were still a resident parent to your children. You can't get away from that responsibility. Whatever you thought might be sufficient to provide "treats", is obviously not enough, compared to the legal required amount calculated by the CSA, based on your disposable income. Hence the buld up of your arrears.
Stop moaning and being so selfish and pay up! It is disgusting how you talk about the Mother of your children, who has been there for them every minute of every day, unlike you!!!
jumpingjackjack - 28-Apr-10 17:53
jumpingjackjack - 28-Apr-10 17:51
however this is rarely the case. I have just been telephoned by the CSA to inform me that they what arrears payments of £29,000.00 now my daughter is 19yrs old and payments have come to an end. This they have never informed me about before whilst paying maintenance. However I must pay it all up within 3yrs: This is NOT the case as is deemed by the guidlines but a preffered time period by the CSA. I do not have anywere near the funds they require so they will attach my earnins by 40%, incidently taking about 9yrs to pay back at this rate, far cry from 3yrs. You may notice that the information they give you, depending who you talk to is always different, this is also due to the fact they do not sing from the same hyme sheet but are target driven to raise monnies for the treasury. Also remember the CSA is a Agency NOT the law as they would like you to beleive. This does not mean they can not enforce you to pay but MUST remain within guidlines and the law in doing so. I suggest also recording the telephone conversations, they do not like this as you can use this as evidence to prove mis-treatment over the phone, the case worker can be prosicuted personally for doing so. This also includes giving un-lawful information, i.e blackmail.
You’re playing the system; you act like you’re the defenders of the earth and will do anything for your kids. From my experience you play the system with a smile on your face, take the maintenance and drink it down or play bingo with it and let the fathers pay for all the needs of the kids.
Don’t give me all this self righteous rubbish, just admit you’re playing the system and get on with it. Its bloke’s lives you’re ruining, but of course you don’t really give monkeys do you as you always have some ‘grown up’ reason to justify it all.
I know you’re all laughing at these comments. But I have paid maintenance for 23 years and this is my last year and when im done ive still got a really good job and going to go on a cruise and have a good life with a really good pension. You will have kids that don’t like you with the kids dad now having the upper hand and being able to take them on good holidays!, But don’t be sad!, you can look back at all the great memories you have of going to bingo, having a laugh with your so called mated down the local and wondering why you cant pull anymore.
Sorry but blimey!, here speaks the innocent bloke whose nutcase girlfriend used to torture the kids and beat them with belts till they bled and used to work the system well. I’ve paid £130,000.00 by the time ive finished and the kids have been in homes, beaten up by her, treated like rubbish and still walk around in broken shoes etc





